Gym stories, doesnt matter if real or fake as long as its funny / interesting

>working out
>see ops mother on the treadmill
>rape her

lmao bottom text

What?

Why would you turn on the stereo to walk out of your house into your garage where you can't hear it and then lift?

Someone post the Magical Negro of Motivation

I want him too

I dont feel like green texting. Long story short, I started using an empty cable pulldown machine and in the middle of my set a middle aged woman walks up and angrily says "I was using that, I just went to the bathroom." I said "ok I'll just finish this set" and she yells "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" I said "yes" and finished my set as slowly as possible. When I started walked away she said "are you going to put it back on the weight I was using?" I said "no." She said something to my back as I walked away, I dont remember. Only bad encounter I've had in a gym in 10 years of training.

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>be me last week at gym
>squatting lmao3pl8
>gym retard is there
>dude has a hunchback like quasimodo
>does his usual routine, gymbro stuff
>suddenly he walks up to mirror, takes his shirt off and starts flexing and grunting at himself
>I'm at the bottom of the squat, trying to hold in laughter
>pressure is too much, I let rip the loudest fart
>dead silence in the weightroom
>boomers at the other side start laughing

HOW DO I RECOVER FROM THIS FIT I LITERALLY HAD A NIGHTMARE LAST NIGHT WHERE I FARTED AND EVERYONE LAUGHED HELP ME

This one’s true
>at local gym
>smol gym, as most local ones are
> enter to do chest
>usually the only one there
>see FAT guy taking up the only bench press
>think to myself he’s a weak shit, at least he’s getting his life together
>i start chest warm up on the free weight bench with free weights
>eye the fatty, he’s benching 100
>lmao
>he adds 45’s,
>tfw i might have to save fatty from being pinned
>start to increase rest periods so i can be ready when he gets pinned
>he adds more 45’s
>he’s now benching 270+
>tfw he benches more than me

>go to bench, water bottle two meters in front
>not a soul in sight, someone must have forgotten
>start doing db bench press
>40 something landwhale comes stomping from across the room
>"DIDN'T YOU SEE THE BOTTLE?? I WAS USING IT"
>I'm staring at her with the rage of a thousand suns
>not a word, I keep pushing
>she gets visibly shaken
>was aiming at 12 but I reach 18 out of hatred
>drop the dumbbells and get up, still staring
>she stutters "I-It's ok I'll take another"

The one time in my life my autism actually intimidated someone.

Hahah never underestimate people user.

>homegym mustard
>cat is sleeping on bench
>have to shoo cat away
>feel guilty
>pet cat afterwards to make up for it
>she forgives me

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Lol I enjoyed that

not him, but my stereo has aux speakers running into my garage/workshop.

There's this weird dude who wears a hoody 24/7 in the gym
Squats like two plates while talking to himself and listening to anime music

I spoke to the manager and they say that if he dosent tone down the autism he's getting banned, really freaks out all the regulars

Who the fuck goes to the toilet in the middle of a set?

lol me at this very moment

Fat people are usually strong, dont forget they have to carry around their own weight 24/7 and have a huge caloric intake.

It's leverages and a shortened range if motion that makes fatties better at benching

>Be me
>Go to gym
>Do my lifts with vigour
>Finish doing my lifts
>Leave gym
Thoughts?

>this is an actual character from a near-billion dollar blockbuster movie

>be me
>benching like usual
>pajeet takes the bench next to me and watches my every set, as if he wants to spot me
>ignore him, spotters are for pussies
>1pl8 5 reps
>2pl8 5 reps
>3pl8 5 reps
At this point he is literally standing and watching instead of just sitting and staring from his bench
>continue ignoring
>335lbs 5 reps
>top set, 355lbs for 5
>he asks me if I need a spot
>say no
>he gets mad
>hit 355lbs for 5
>he never goes above 1pl8

wow so strong

Based

Do you not take shower at the gym?

Maybe his gear is in his living room....

That's not how he's meant to respond to that question, user. I think you killed an innocent gymbro.

>he forgot to start doing his lifts

Attached: let me at em let me at em!.gif (275x319, 1.79M)

>me
>started liftan about 20 days ago
>my ORM stats are 65/120/135/155
>do my leg workout
>2 skeleton boys walk in
>they do my ORM as a warm up

I know I should just be focusing on being better than I was last workout, but its hard not to compare myself to others.

Attached: help.gif (400x267, 1.56M)

>enter gym locker room
>huge guy enters
>yells "where's that fucker with the big dick?"
>i am the only guy in the room
>he looks at me for a moment and leaves

Not him, but he probably isn't aware of the greeting.
It goes ' feeling fit, buddy?' and the response is ' heh I'm just a lucky guy '.
His fake story is just unfunny.

You need to work on that. Comparing yourself to others is not healthy and it’s different from being motivated by them.

Ignore it. You do not have a problem. This problem can be solved if you don’t do it and believe you don’t have it.

Not sure if based, but definitely retard.

My cat always looks at me like I'm retarded when I do curl ups on my doorway pull up bar before lifting my home weights. He's probably right.

>sitting in the locker room after my workout
>some faggot comes in dressed in leather like fucking gimp comes
>tell him he got the wrong door and the leather club is two blocks down
>He says 'fuck you'
>I say 'Fuck You leather man. Maybe you and I should settle it right here on the ring if you think your so tough.'
>we both strip down
>I show him I'm the boss of the gym

Honk

>warming up for bench
>the opposing bench is being used by a domineering white woman with dreadlocks and her numale companion
>they are both benching about 0.25pl8 while I've warmed up with 1pl8
>I look up from my set and there are now clips on the bar
>dreadlock woman gives me a smirk

The absolute nerve, who has the entitlement to mess with someone else's set like that

>Max out for the first time ever
>385 squat
>Feeling really good, go to unrack the weight
>Never unracked more than three plates before
>Barbell goes flying
>Everyone in the gym turns and stares at me
>Gym crush turns and stares at me
>God himself turns and stares at me

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Gym receptionist came up to me and explained tried to give me tips on my tricep pushdown and I went like pic related and than I walked away

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How are you supposed to do that without looking like a retard?

>getting banned
>for keeping to himself
what kind of planet fitness ass normie gym do you go to

idiot, he was just a fit guy

I have two cats
>One bolts if so much touch the bar or look like I'm about to lift
>Another likes jumping on my chest when I'm doing bench. Real gains goblin but hes so cute I can't get angry

>be moving barbell to the bench from the barbell stand
>try doing a few spins with it like a lightsaber
>crash the head of the barbell into the window
>window is now cracked
>scuttle out of the gym hoping nobody noticed it

based billy

You probably killed someone that was doing oblique workouts.

Kek

>back in high school days
>go to the gym with my friend and talk a lot during the sets
>some black indian guy comes up to me angry from across the gym and yelled at me asking me why I called him the N-word
>me and friend look at each other dumbfounded
>say I didn't
>He kept insisting I did
>he walks back and from across the gym he yelled "don't call me the n-word ever again"
True story actually, was the weirdest moment of my life so far

black indian guy?

He looked half black and half indian. Like a really black indian with an african skull shape I remember him clearly, haven't seen him since that day though

True story, managed to cuck a regular at my gym by fucking his girlfriend without realizing it.

Attached: 01.png (1000x1000, 120K)

>doing tricep pushdowns
>hear someone do a massive fart
>look over and it was the guy on the leg press
>hes laughing his ass off
>i start laughing
>look up
>4 other people laughing

>never touched more than 315
>jumps straight to 385
You're a fucking retard user

Based and comfy brap-posters

>went to gym with two buddies at 2am for shits and giggles
>the only people I saw there were us, half asleep 65yo desk manager and some 120lbs manlet in the corner
>after a decent workout we decide to load a barbell with all of the weights and take a picture of it for instagram pretending that is what we regularly deadlift
>there was probably about 950+lbs of weights on the bar
>we take a couple of pictures, talk a little bit and head to the locker room
>while in locker room I remember we left all the wieghts on bar and head to the training area to take them off rack them
>as I enter the are I am immediately frozen from shock
>120lbs manlet is overhead pressing the bar with all of the weights on it
>950+ fucking lbs
>I am absolutely terrified and I immediately run back to locker room to get my friends to see it
>I am basically dragging them to see it
>we get there and there is no one present, only the bar with weights we put on
>I start looking around for the manlet, figuring he probably hid somewhere near
>ask the old desk manager about the guys with us
>he is looking at me like I am retarded, says there was no one in the gym except me, my friends and him at this time
>a mix of confusion and chilling fear possessed me
>I ask my friends if they saw this guy
>they blank stare me, one of them even asks me if I am ok
>to this day I tell people this story and they think I am crazy, but I swear I saw the fantom manlet lifting all of that weight

fucking gains leprechauns

So... did you call him the N-word?

Wtf would he do if you would have failed a set. Some people are total idiots who have no idea what they can spot for and what they cant

>tfw no romanian gym bro to hit PRs with

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If she managed to do it while you were benching I think she should be lauded for the stealth

Ask her the next time you see her faggot

fuck you delete this

female powerlifters lmao

yea

One time I had to take a monster shit and was forced to.

You have been visited by the gains leprechaun

Sounds like a shit owner.