It is fucking IMPOSSIBLE to unfuck your life

Fairly messy, but I would call it a disaster. Clean, but a good amount of disorganized clutter.

*would NOT call it a disaster

>clean your room and wash your benis user

Clean it, you'll feel better and start there to reclaim control of your life.

I was exactly like that user, and I mean every single thing you listed, and I managed to mostly get my shit together in less than a year. Now I'm 21 with a drivers license and 6 months of work experience on my resume. You must think I'm different than you since I was able to do it but I swear I was just like how you are now. The secret is to stop caring if you are scared or not, since it really doesn't matter if you are.

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Fuck I sound so retarded in that comment but I swear I was just like you. I still am a KHV and experience the derealization a lot but I roll with it now. Can you get a therapist user? It kind of helps to have someone to cheer you on. And you are probably correct when you say you are fundamentally broken, I was told by a psychologist that my brain was formed to simply react more fearfully than a normal persons brain, because our ancestors benefited from having hyper-vigilant freaks like us around to scream and freak out every time we suspected danger. Or something like that. I swear you can change user, I promise you can if you put real effort into it and take things one step at a time. I can't put what I want to say into words I just see myself so clearly in you and want you to know things can change.

I was in your shoes, OP, except even more fucked with no high school (dropped out at 15). You can still find a mcjob to fill up that employment gap, or ask if your mom knows anyone hiring.

Also, don't think about it as ahead or behind. Sure the normalniggers probably have more money but you had some wicked times getting stoned and watching anime all day or something, right? That's worth a lot more than their money.

After a couple months wageslaving at even the worst paid job you'll be able to buy a car, and a few months later, rent an apartment, then you'll be all "caught up"

I really appreciate it man. I have considered therapy, but when I think about actually think about going it makes me cringe in embarrassment. I probably should just suck it up and schedule an appointment though. You have given me some hope in probably my lowest moment. Thanks, user.

Start lifting and then get a manual labor job. Get money, get a car, and work your way up. You will quickly grow more confident as you follow these steps.

The white race needs you. We can't afford to lose you, user.

I hate health anxiety so fucking much. I have outgrown social anxiety and other anxieties but this one sticks with me like a bitch. Thankfully I can recognize when I am being unreasonable but it is still such a pain in the butt.

You have no idea how comforting it is to see someone with health anxiety and derealization. I almost think I'm just insane because everything feels so fake and get scared to go outdoors because I don't want to zone out of reality.

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The health anxiety is probably the biggest issue. I have no idea how to get rid of it. I have a strong urge to go the ER at least 1 or 2 times a week. I can stop myself before going most of the time but it fucking sucks.

very few people pick things up that easily OP, everything takes learning and practice

Start smoking dumbass

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Lol 20. Your barley behind at all i didnt even get my license till i was 23. Only have 1 year of community college that i dropped a couple years ago and gave myself brain damage smoking research chems. Now im 25. Get at me

Also have never held a job for more than 2 days. KHV

It is really brutal, user. I don't know how to beat it. I am sorry you have the same struggles.

Im 23 and starting to get my shit together. Moving out is one of the key steps. It forces you to get out of your comfort zone and ACT. Last year, i formed lots of social contacts, tried plenty of different drugs, lost my virginity to this girl whom i'm fwb at the time, hsd lots of fun. Tomorrow i'm going to a job interview. It can get better, dont lose hope

Pretty sure if I started lifting I would have a panic attack from my pounding heart.

That is tough, man. I probably will be right there with you soon.

Thanks for the advice, user. How are you doing nowadays?

25 this year and planning on starting uni this year, but im pretty sure no one will hire me when i graduate becase of no job since high school.. really feel fucked here. Going to try doing nursing

Reconnect with your father and you'll be fine

I have a good relationship with my dad

I think I understand the situation more now then.
Do you get angry that no one has answers for you?

i know how you feel, atleast socially.
only sticking around because i'm scared of death.
but you know, baby steps. one day at a time.

>26
>frequent health anxiety and hypochondria
>cant function in life
>barely finished school
>when the phone rings i ignore it, write down the number and check it everywhere online
>manlet and underweight
>minor heart nerve damage
>can barely see, losing eyesight. Slower pace, but still going.
>dropped out 4 times
>derealization and feel as if im stuck in a state between sleep and waking up and that i dont actually perceive the world and my hands arent my own
>panic attacks when someone at the door
>no friends
>will go and try to study again this year at a slower pace
>trying to go out more even if i start puking and thinking my heart will explode
>tfw at best i will learn how to go out again and go shopping, something even children do
>still want to do it and keep trying again and again
It will be too late when you die. But then it wont matter.

>>
>tfw at best i will learn how to go out again and go shopping, something even children do

I notice that this is a big issue for people. Seriously man, if you think that you're that bad, then stop feeling shame about it. Think back to when you were a kid and you picked things up so easily. It's because you didn't judge yourself so harshly.
Give yourself a break. Acknowledge your shortcomings and actively try to correct them. It doesn't matter how slow the pace is, as long as you're not stagnant, right user?

>panic disorder due to GABAA receptor dysfunction in the brain
>haha bro you gotta clean up your room this guy who owns SJWs EPIC STYLE XDD said so

get some tests done, get therapy as well. your problems might be chemical.

It was more of a cheerful jab at myself and an
>inb4
Kind of thing. Im optimistic about it and im happy i go out as much as i do right now. Cleaning up the apartment, taking out the trash. Still get tremors and major attacks, but it feels nice to function. I just want to force myself to do these things and to see that i probably wont die.

Ill be honest i do stupid useless shit. Like calculating the distance it takes me to go from point a to point b and back and i walk that distance at home. Home feels safe, so can just focus on physical activity. Once i walk that i tell myself that i didnt die from it, so why should it happen outside. Hopefully that will continue to work, but it feels like after 8 years i found something that does.

Plus beta blockers help a bunch. Feel like a life saver.

Put some headphones on and walk to a reasonably public place and read.
It's like exposure therapy but you're exposing yourself to feeling unsafe.
Humans evolved to feel anxious. It's a response to perceived danger. Your brain perceives some form of lurking danger and then flicks the anxiety switch. When we succumb to that feeling we run back to where we feel safe.
You have to understand that what you're doing is participating in a negative cycle.
Just like people with OCD, who slowly get introduced to potentially "germy" objects and environments, you have to (very)slowly expose yourself to places and practices that make you want to go back home where you're safe.
Draw a scale on paper, 1-10, and write all the things that give you anxiety in order from least anxiety fuel to most anxiety fuel.
Then immediately do MORE of the things listed on 1-3. For one week do more of the things in 4. Then the next week push up to 5. The next week 6 - and then stay there for a few weeks. Keep that up. Soon whatever is in 6 will feel like a 4 and at the point you can move up to 7, 8, 9 and maybe 10.
I believe in you. I had crippling anxiety about everything. I used to make myself vomit 10 minutes into my shift so that I could go home and sit in my bed. I would eat fast food every night. I would sneak out the back of the house every time I went out so I didn't have to face anyone.

I got over it more or less. You can too.

Yeah, I guess... originally

Man... I am so sorry user. This shit is brutal. Have you considered saying "fuck it" and taking anxiety meds? I really don't want to, but I will as a last option if necessary

What do you mean by getting tests done?

I am in the process of unfucking my life OP, it is going well. I am nearly 21 and share most of the faults you listed, maybe even more (I dropped out of hs). You need to get your anxiety under control and the best way to do this is exposure to the things that make you anxious. That is the only advice I'll give because everything else is secondary. If you don't throw yourself in the deep water you'll always be an anxious wreck and stay this way forever.

>constant health anxiety
iktf. I go to 3 different doctors for the same small problems and they all know me by name and are sick of my bs.

This was me at 20. I went on a working holiday in Japan. Now I am 23, engaged to my girlfriend of two years, and about to get a job that pays 60k starting and requires no skills (police communicator, the ones who answers 111 calls for police.)

>Humans "evolved" to feel anxious
>actually believing this evolutionary nonsense

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you still have time. you dont want to be a wizard in that same situation, its infinitely worse. do something OP, if you dont youll only be dooming yourself

Thanks i might just do the writing down thing now as i have some paper near me and wanted to write something anyways. Should be interesting. I know its just a case of doing, i just always have this nagging feel that ill fail for the 16th time.

I want to, but im afraid of medicine and they give me anxiety. I instantly think of all the side effects and imagine them all happening. Plus im afraid of mixing them with beta blockers. But i should talk about it with a doctor. Best of luck to you too user. I take it youre op? I basically wrote here to let you know youre not alone. I come from a family of fuckups. My uncle finished his first degree at 34 and only started his life then, so i just tell myself i need to try as well. I feel that if people like us didnt try, we will beat ourselves up for not doing anything after a year. So might as well just fail at least to be able to say that i did an attempt and can try again, but differently. Thats what i think.

How did you do it user? I need advice from all of the people that escaped situations like mine

Yeah I'm OP. I really appreciate the words. It is nice to know that I am not alone.
>I want to, but im afraid of medicine and they give me anxiety. I instantly think of all the side effects and imagine them all happening.
This is my thing too. I get anxious thinking about the brain zaps and other weird side effects that can come from SSRIs. Many people say the first week is hell. If I could take them under medical supervision until the weird side effects are gone, I would - but I know that is not reality, and that I would have constant unbearable anxiety for the first week while overanalyzing all of the physical sensations in my body.

I don't know how to expose myself to health anxiety though - you know? Like, do I purposefully try to give myself a heart attack to see if I can survive it? It's tricky.

LOL thinks they are old at 20 uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

learn to drive
go to community college
do some volunteer work to get references
get on anxiety meds
apply for jobs

life fixed, pay me $500 user

>anxiety meds
Not that simple. SSRIs effectiveness for anxiety is extremely debatable, and the side effects are hellish - and benzodiazepines are extremely addictive and are not suited for long term use.

Are beta blockers an as-needed thing like a Valium, of something you take daily?

All of that shit is fixable aside from maybe no gf depending on how much you lost the genetic lottery by.

You can either complain on Jow Forums and hope everything magically fixes itself. Or you can actually do shit to fix it. Up to you.

>It is fucking IMPOSSIBLE to unfuck your life
>20 years old
wake the fuck up kiddo

oh geeee thanks for your debate on the effective nesss of those

and

TAKE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

GOD DAMN MEDS

AND

SHIUTUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

THE FUCK\

UP~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went on a working holiday in Japan. I got a job lined up at a ski resort before I went, they gave me a room and 3 meals a day and a job working about 50-60 hours a week, and free equipment/ski passes. I made friends with the other people working there, who took me drinking and shit because there was nothing else to do on your nights off. I learned to socialize normally, got lots of job experience, got an interesting hobby and just general experience in life, which made it easier to talk to girls. Then I met a girl, we started dating, and when I went back to my country she came with me. I was able to get jobs, finished my studies, and am now looking to start a career. I might go back to Japan to teach English later this year as well.
Just put yourself out of your comfort zone and do something interesting in your life. It will help you grow as a person, make you more interesting and grow your confidence.

IDK how to fix health anxiety, I'd have told you if I knew how.

The anxiety and derealization feels like it is impossible to get rid of

I am going to try user, but I cannot lie and say that I think it will work. I feel like I have a fucked brain.

I really think you should read more into to SSRIs before thinking they are a miracle pill

You're a child. There are people who don't get their shit together/lose everything in middle age.

Calm down

literal retard ooooooooooo

How do you explain a 7 year resume gap?

Personal development and a shifting job market.