Early signs you were a robot thread

For the first year or so of elementary school I would always sit alone,away from everyone pretending I had a stomachache so the teachers wouldn't ask me to play with the other kids

I find it annoying everyone always assumes the worst when unexplained

>Be eight
>Cannot change clothes by myself in under an hour and a half because I would just imagine things while staying completely still
>Discovered visual dissociation and alucination when one focuses in a single point at a time
>Proceed to spend 3 hours trying to disassociate to complete darkness even with open eyes
Sometimes I have to ask myself if I have autism

tell her the real reason, it's not too late

Probably that my life is so uneventful I can't remember anything. The things I have the best memory of are dreams that never happened and generic isolation, both from others and by my own initiative from a young age.

>got home from preschool and locked myself in the bathroom until parents promised I didn't have to go there anymore
>have a birthday party in 1st grade and invite classmates
>no one shows up
>young chad in class informs me I'm a weirdo for trying to invite people

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i dont blame her for thinking that, to her it did seem like i was being an asshole. i went to school with her all the way through high school and she hated me.
i've thought about it but i don't want to bother her

this is exactly why i never had birthday parties

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>user why dont you put down the piano and play with your friends
>"friends"

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it's not about bothering people, look I had a falling out with a female friend that caused us to not speak to each other for 2 years, recently I was feeling guilty about since it was me who ignored her so I contacted her and had a heartfelt chat, despite this we still don't talk but at least we both understood the reasons and are at peace with it and I will never ever regret contacting her again and settings things straight

she's married now and has kid, i just dont want to bother her. wouldn't be surprised if she barely even remembers it.

I don't know your circumstances or long how has it been so I'll take your word for it, ultimately it's your choice and if you still feel guilty there's only one way to get rid of it

>lived in a broken household with drug addict father who would leave us for days with no water or electricity
>to get those sweet moments of satisfaction, would tell on everybody and was very smart for my age, little to no friends, smelled bad, wore same clothes everyday, but went to school with smile on my face
>move frequently, parents divorce when 10
>still poor, dad stalks us
>move to ohio but he finds us, move to a new area in florida
>obsessed with drugs (i never did them before), bad social skills and hygiene in middle school
>bullied, but acted like it didn't effect me and stupidly would do it even more to piss people off (i thought it was funny)
>go home everyday after school start cutting myself, nobody knew (still living on ebt, my family wasn't there for me either) at 12
>get into pills, overdose on 2 benzos, alcohol, amphetamines, slit my wrists (i still remember the song i was listening to) at 13
>lose everything i had (privacy)
>still using drugs and drinking
>go back to same school with same kids, i act the same way and same thing happens everyday
>have an extremely bad overdose at neighbors house after being evicted, i wish i was dead now because of it
>become robot after grand mal seizure and lack of oxygen (i was overdosing on er hydrocodone syrup and tramadol), get triple dose of narcan at 14
>have never worn short sleeves since
>no memory, personality, social skills, not pleasant to be around
>still using drugs and drinking, but recently i have been doing it more heavily as i spiral deeper and deeper into depression

Why were you lifting a piano of all things.

>chatting with mom
>casually brings up that I was 95% deaf until the age of 4
>I apparently went to a psychiatrist 3 times a week when I was 5-6

I mean its a figure of speech but when I was a kid I had a keyboard but no stand so I just put it on my lap

Fuck off.
Are you reading the stories people are posting?
Shittier, pettier things have been done than accepting an invitation and ghosting them as a snub.
Another user already posted a story about his crush asking him out as a joke. Stuff like that happened at my school all the time, kids are cruel like that and this is common.
She probably felt self-conscious, putting herself out there like that and asking a guy she liked out, and then he just leaves without saying a word?
Why do you think user feels awful? He knows what he did, he knows he did something bad.

>Be in 1st grade
>Put birthday invitations in everyone's cubbyholes
>Waiting for my bus, notice at least half of the invitations in the trash

Nobody said anything to me. I wasn't even worth mockery or a cruel word.
Never have had an actual birthday party.

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>in a separate reading group

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>>my crush asked me out as a joke
fuck that's real

My mom always shamed me in front of my family a lot. I used to wet the bed until I was 9 yrs old. She would tell everyone in the family about it in filipino (I never learned a second language). She mocked me for crying a lot and constantly calling me a girl. My father was an alcoholic my entire life. He was really strong and often punched holes in walls and doors. My parents fought a lot because a combination of a bitchy wife and a short tempered alcoholic isn't the best combination.

>Middle school
>Girl asks if I want to hang out at the mall
>Surprised and confused about why a stacy is asking me out but agree
>Very flattered, never noticed her much even though we had classes
>We had the next class together
>The second the teacher stepped out one of her friends told me it was a joke
>'Did you really think she'd like someone like you?'
>Look over at stacy, she gives a mocking smile and wave
>Turn back to my work

I didn't give them any outward reaction. I didn't allow them that satisfaction.

>Get bullied
>Try to appease and become friends with your bullies

>Kindergarten
>See a ton of kids playing with each other
>No one wants to play with me

I dropped out at 3rd and spit at teachers and shit. I got hospitalized twice and had to see a therapist. I really wish I didn't do that. Now I'm fucked and have no education.

>spent my entire childhood and teenage years in front of a monitor
Hahaha I want to kill myself.

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>be me
>be 7
>see on tv epic aussie bantz
>call girl I like a tryhard without knowing what it means trying to be funny
>gives me a cold stare calls me an asshole (didnt even know what that meant either) and tells the teacher
>be me
>be 12
>see chad make fun of girls features and she laughs
>call tall girl I wanted to be friends with a giraffe until she was forced to pay attention to me
>rips me a new one over my eye bags
Unironically be yourself around women lads

>kindergarten
>they had like small tents outside
>never play with the other kids but instead hide in one of those tents and take a nap

>doctor told parents I might be autistic at like 3 yo (turned out to be fine)
>got literally 0 friends in kindergarten and bullied by two fucks I wished to murder mercilessly until 16 yo
>got a pissbox because nanny told me to not go out of the room during after lunch bedtime
>after an (another) uncontrollable fit of rage got punished by mummy so I told ger in detail how exactly I wish to murder her
>during school girls would ask me out publicly and then laugh at me when I'd accept (guess why I don't trust anyone with a vagina to this day)
>would vomit over myself on school buses so I quit having a breakfast. At all.

Oh God I sure love to think about my childhood. At least my parents are actually good people so I don't complain or anything

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Please stop don't kill yourself with that Yep
This too

Oh looks like I got a full-house

>be 4, grandmother never lets me go outside to play and says im "irritating her" whenever I say something
>kindergarten teacher complains about me always sitting in the corner square
>recess, girl demands I push her on swing. I ask her a question and she ignores me, never initiate conversation again or ask someone a question spontaneously again
>4th grade teacher does experiment to trick students into seeing who would share the candy, im the only one that shared with her
>always anxious and alone at recess, trying to spend those minutes looking like im finding something to do
>during girlscouts playtime, slowly pace the room so i look like im going to do something and hide in the corner
>always stood in doorway and stood up at peoples house until they said im allowed to come in and sit down
>8 was at neighbors dinner and they werent done eating yet so I ate the orange peel to avoid talking but they noticed
>would masturbate to pedofiles on club penguin then feel guilty right after
>from 7 to 9 was crippilingly paranoid about an atom bomb happening, the world ending, my house flooding randomly, and being kidnapped from club penguin and the fbi getting the chat logs

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HAHAHA
Girl in my class (6th grade) that I barely knew once told me I was special in the library, but I don't think it was condescending

Nah as soon as one girl finds out they go and tell their friends about it. Literally do all the work for you.

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Reading this made me feel better about my life, thanks user