/britfeel/

>My first day at my new job has not been a good experience
I AM SHOCKED

Concentrated British autism

It's like
>tfw no qt celtic gf
>tfw no bennies
>tfw have to work at greggs despite having hands like shovels
etc etc

tfw burnt my cassoulet

this

no yanks allowed.
Shippy is the big dog in this yard, pay homage to him.

And
>taking a tricky poo lads

>5 cans left
dont think I cant drink them all before I sleep

>Shops tell me to apply online for jobs
>Their websites only list locations for England and I'm in Scotland
>After checking daily for the past 3 months for jobs in a 25 mile radius only 1 retail position has appeared on indeed and it was for Tesco.
I sincerely doubt all these shops have 100% staff retention, never ever see call centre jons advertised either.

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What scenes from tv and movies have you fapped to lads?
>inb4 zoomers who have only fapped to porn
I remember fapping to a show called Bad Girls

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Some stuff on channel 5 back when it was full of smut

Eurotrash was a big fap favourite for me

>presented as male

When do you not?

There's a bit in father ted where that one retarded guy is delivering milk and a women who the regular milkman porks answers the door naked
She had a nice pair of milkers on her and you could get a good view of them if you paused it

There are two things that scare me in this world and they are the following, shippys belly and the feds.

You never see call centre jobs advertised in Scotland? Where abouts are you? You must be very rural.

Outside of work, whenever I went outside I had been presenting as female

I'd rather face every fed in christendom than go toe to toe with Shippy's big boi bean bag.

Time for beddy byes I reckon. Been up since 10pm last night.

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Heading to the pub lads

sexcetera. Television x freeviews every hour

Do you ever go to the shop with like a shitload of coins and it takes them ages to count it, it's awkward as shit

But you never spoke to anyone and you don't look particularly feminine, so how is that "presenting as female"?

Have you ever introduced yourself as "Monica" to anyone?

West coast, about an hour's drive away from Glasgow. Genuinely *never* seen a single one advertised and it's got me scratching my head.

Chad ShipAnon vs. the Virgin Quantitive Analyst

Anyone remember that channel 5 show which was like a sex education thing with live footage inside some girls cunt while she's being fucked you even see the guy dumping a load inside of her real time?
Good shout also the porn industry shows on the Bravo channel late at night
Good episode

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>bean bag.
hilarious, i am robbing this skit.

Shippy, you after a new job?

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What gets you the death penalty over there?

I'm working my way up, baby steps

BIG shout out to all my boys in the slough massif
wayno
dave
debby big tits
magic hands
shane boy
little bob and big bob

Going to be without fibre internet for the first time since the early 2000's lads. It's looking fucking panful. Barely 50mbps over our decrepid copper network.

>The government decided to reinstate capital punishment in 2004 for cases of rape, drug trafficking and murder
>Perjury that results in execution of an innocent person, treason, armed robbery, some military offences and certain crimes committed with the use of a gun (such as kidnapping, extortion, human trafficking, assault on a public servant) can also result in the death penalty

So you've never presented as female. Glad we've cleared that up.

>kidnap someone using a gun
>goes wrong
>going to get the death penalty anyway so kill them

The second Poley starts identifying as Monica at work is when he begins a legitimate trail of the continuation of his stalking campaign. This idiocy and unwilling to change his name will come back to haunt him.
He will not heed this warning because he's a thick cunt.

Mate here's 150 of them. Some of them need experience but most of them don't.

s1jobs.com/jobs/call-contact-centres/west-central-scotland/?onlyshowme=datesmart

>tfw 12mbps down
>tfw 0.88mpbs up

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>turn up for your second week at a new job wearing a dress
brilliant

Was Monica the name of the lass he stalked? the one he put cameras up in the shitter for?

Yep but her name was spelt 'Monika' and he thinks this change is enough to cover his tracks.

>He thinks changing one letter is enough
Oh my fuck
Every time I learn more about Amer I somehow wind up even more disgusted than before
He's gotta be insane right? like he's a schizo or something?

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>"you're not just loitering around the clocking out machine until it ticks over to the next quarter hour are you user?"

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My pay is done by every quarter of an hour so I just round up to the next 15 minutes every time.

>70p extra per hour
maybe I shouldn't kill myself then

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>he doesn't make a 1p a second doing google surveys

At pub with uncle lads what should I have wahey

Ay lads
Anyone know when those Jow Forums interviews originally uploaded?

Anyone else enjoying watching this brexit shitshow?

Room temperature tap water

Pint of Carling and a copy of The Sun phwor

cats eh, i mean they learn stuff but it's slow going. had my cat 2 years and i've been training him to move out of the way of stuff when i say beep beep. at first i had to say it then move him, then if he was in the way of doors or something i'd say beep beep, then use the doors or whatever to move him(slowly obviously, not in a mean way), and finally today he was in the way of the fridge and i said beep beep, and he just moved out of the way. might give him 2 treats today for being a good lad

there are no white people in slough you retard

Nope lad, what's happening now?

You should leave and come back at the weekend when it is acceptable to drink

It's honestly sick as fuck that he still uses that name. Why not literally any other name?

>er, yeah, I know last week I said my name is Amer and I'm a pakistani man, but it's actually Monica and I'm a certified honourary white lady. If you have any questions then please phone the police.

>when it is acceptable to drink
u fakkin poof

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chuckling at you saying beep beep to your cat. but clever catto for learning

23:10

youtu.be/N-kw0t7wIoE

That madman actually predicted a bus before it came into view and it appeared a few seconds later

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o
Here are your choices:

>Glass of champagne with a slice of strawberry in it.

>Large glass of red wine with a glass of cognac on the side

>Advocaat and lemonade

>Three shots of galliano in a wine glass

>Pint of guiness with a shot of tia maria dropped in it

>Trader Vic's Original Mai Tai (when they say "what the fuck is that?" just say "Don't worry, I'll tell you how to make it" and then make something up on the spot based on what you can see sitting on the bar behind them)

is 5 lads really that good?

my kinda bf - friend woke up a lot of hours ago and still doesn't message me, we should play together and speak.

>massif
>white
lad

Who is the coolest anime character?

Luffy

orginals

That vampire lad

youtube.com/watch?v=YCljruS1Xg0

posting a british classic

Herushingu?

>Who is the coolest anime character?
Jotaro Kujo

>tfw the 4channers at work have formed a little clique.

Almost feels like the freemasons on Jow Forums at times

Prince Pau from Lord Over Ashes: The Benin Box Suffering

five guys? or is five lads the british version

>the 4channers at work
where you work?

L from Death Note lad

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Mercedes, 3 of us so far.

Monday is Prime drinking time lods

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Paedo Factory

>admitting you use Jow Forums at work
this is beyond science

He looked over my shoulder as I was phoneposting and said "is that Jow Forums"

Tfw funding your relatives drinking habit at the pub just for some company

>watching old wrestling
>Benoit and his wife/future murder victim keep popping up

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five guys in the uk

My uncle never drinks when we're at the pub, fucking drink driving laws

regular shill post, pls give comfy.chat some love

Kamina from TTGL
Roy Mustang from FMA:B
Revy from Black Lagoon
Guts from Berserk
Anderson from Hellsing

Yeah... I'm into the more mature anime.

Fly helicopters

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feel like doing something lads. Just go out on my own for a day but I don't know what to do or where to go

>tfw no comfy local where i can sit in the corner and drink lemonade and read a book

I remember I worked with a kid who was massively into wrestling while the Benoit thing happened, and he insisted for months that it was all a conspiracy and Benoit did nothing wrong.

what u been reading recently user? been sl;owly making my way through the last wish myself

>tfw no comfy local where i can sit in the corner and drink lemonade and read a book
There aren't any gay bars where you live? Where is it, Cornwall?