The most powerful drug is validation from other people

Fucking /heroin/ bros unite!

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It certainly is a pretty powerful drug. I think most of the things I do are merely to appear cool to other people. I don't know why I even do any of this, however, when I never actually interact with anyone. Additionally, few seem to appreciate the qualities I value, so it's not as though anyone would admire me were I to put myself out there in the real world.

Oh well. Humans are irrational, and I suppose I'll just keep living the way that I am, while ignoring any incongruencies.

No. I like validation but not as much as a woman or you betas

You have strong conviction that I can respect, user. Freedom seems to be your goal as is mine. I do not condemn suicide, but I hope you reach a state of mind where it becomes unnecessary regardless of your circumstances.
Pretty based desu
There is another way. Try analyzing thoroughly the exact reasons for your behavior. There's a lot there that is absolutely pointless and even absurd.

>There's a lot there that is absolutely pointless and even absurd.
Certainly. I already know this much, yet, simply realizing how absurd it is does not make me any more inclined to act differently. Everything I do, at its core, is driven by feelings an instincts; after all, there is no objective purpose to life (short of reproduction, maybe). It is difficult to change any behaviors that seem pointless when you simply "want" to behave that way.

It's also likely that I fear confronting the purposelessness of life, and therefore strive to achieve all sorts of arbitrary goals I set for myself. They bring me suffering, but that's preferable to emptiness.

I don't want to be validated by you
But I do want you, so be my woman!

Where did u get that image o that woman??

If you want my validation, post discord. Maybe you'll get it.

I have never been praised by anyone so I truly would not know.

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>Everything I do, at its core, is driven by feelings an instincts; after all, there is no objective purpose to life (short of reproduction, maybe).
That is true. But the fact that you're unhappy with the way it is, shows that you are capable of overriding these instincts to an extent. That's pretty much what my own goal is.
>It's also likely that I fear confronting the purposelessness of life, and therefore strive to achieve all sorts of arbitrary goals I set for myself.
In order to confront the purposelessness of life, I personally created a framework with myself at its center. It's a starting point from which everything I do stems. Setting arbitrary goals is exactly what you should be doing. In the end all goals are arbitrary anyways. However, in order not to suffer from them, you should divide them up into something that you can achieve every day.

All in all. You should clean the drawing board and start over, but this time be really selective with what you allow to inhabit your mind.
Strong conviction, even if misguided, I can respect.
It's rude to just ask questions like that.
No thanks.
But do you want to?

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Nice, mr. reply to everything. I totally wanted your input. Fuck off already you dumb cunt.

You literally replied to my thread, idiot. What did you expect? Which is your post anyways?

>not being schizoid masterrace
pity for you all that must suffer that plague

Shut up mr. reply and pick at every post. Go away.

Someday sweet thing, you'll find yourself wrapped in my arms, looking back on this moment and laughing about how silly you were to call me the misguided one

Normie doctors would say that I have serious mental issues. I don't care what they think, but be advised if you still want to chase me. I'm fine with being alone.
Now I won't tell you what you wanted to know.

you don't have anything to offer me detritus.

>But do you want to?
Yes, I think so. But only if it's the truth, and only from those whose opinions I respect. I should clarify that I have received empty praise before. Meaningless.

You've advised me every time and I've yet to stop
I'm fine with you and everything the normie doctors say about you
The worst case scenario is you really are that bad and I just walk away, and I'm fine with that too

He's a dull empty husk, yet another. Post your discord, user, and I'll show you something.

Good. You must be complete in your own being.
Would you feel like you're missing something if you weren't praised when you clearly deserved it?
I see that you've grown as an individual over these past few weeks. My words weren't on deaf ears then. I like your conviction and the fact that you don't let your goal's success or failure deter you from the process. Maybe you could take over my work if I were to kill myself.

I haven't grown, I've been like this for years now, I've only just started showing it to you and you've only just started to notice
Maybe this work would be better done together

>you are capable of overriding these instincts
I suppose I am. I can do it for short bursts of time, at least. I'm not sure if it's something that I want to bother with, however. It seems like I "should", but that's likely because society imbued in me the notion that one should live with purpose. In the end, I lean towards it not mattering how you live your life, so maybe I should let nature take its course.

>In the end all goals are arbitrary anyways.
Indeed. I suppose arbitrary goals that you set for yourself, without taking into account anyone else's opinions, generally cause less unnecessary suffering, however.

>start over, but this time be really selective with what you allow to inhabit your mind.
I have had vague plans to do something along these lines for a while now. I always seem to find excuses to put it off. The prospect of the sweeping changes this is likely to bring to my life terrifies me. It means I'd need to finally "wake up" and start living my life, rather than someone's else's, which is essentially what I've been doing up until now. I'd need to take responsibility for myself, and that's something I always shirk doing. It's easier and more comfortable to be a slave. Even if I end up regretting the life I lead on my deathbed, that's only a moment's lamentation, and seems insignificant compared to the effort needed to endeavor to live deliberately.

Maybe when I hit true rock bottom, I'll be finally pushed into gear to make a change.

During those fleeting moments that you manage to override your instinct, take notice of how it feels, what your perception of both the inner and outer worlds is like. Perhaps it would make it easier to recreate this state of mind and eventually make it permanent.
>I suppose arbitrary goals that you set for yourself, without taking into account anyone else's opinions, generally cause less unnecessary suffering, however.
True. I generally prefer to give greater importance to the process itself than the goal, so where it comes from shouldn't matter all that much.
>The prospect of the sweeping changes this is likely to bring to my life terrifies me. It means I'd need to finally "wake up" and start living my life, rather than someone's else's
That's why you need to wipe the slate clean before you do it. Right now you're entangled, tied to the outside world by responsibilities to your environment. You worry what will happen to all those ties if you try to start over. How will others react, etc. That's why all of that must be cut before real change takes place.
Feel free to begin your own crusade of liberation.

It is a good idea to take notice of how it feels when I'm able to override my instinct. My feelings are always an incredibly vague and unclear mess, but perhaps I can start to understand where they originate from better if I make this into a habit.

>give greater importance to the process
I have great trouble doing this. How do you give the process importance when it's usually not enjoyable or rewarding until you attain the goal?

>That's why you need to wipe the slate clean before you do it. Right now you're entangled, tied to the outside world by responsibilities to your environment. You worry what will happen to all those ties if you try to start over.
Ah, I glossed over this part last time. That encapsulates the nature of my fear very well. It makes a lot of sense to take care of those ties before attempting anything else, then. I still doubt it would be something the current me could convince myself to go through... But how would you even go about it? Try to do something outlandish purely for the sake of proving to myself that I don't have to be tied down by others' expectations?

>Would you feel like you're missing something if you weren't praised when you clearly deserved it?
I don't know. That's why I think it would only mean something to me if it came from someone who possessed an ability to know things which are beyond my own understanding. I would trust that they would know whether I deserved it or not.

>How do you give the process importance when it's usually not enjoyable or rewarding until you attain the goal?
That's the thing. The process should be just as rewarding as the goal. After all that's where 99% of your life will be spent. You should restructure your goal in a way that it's only purpose is to be a sign showing you the direction you want to head towards, not the destination itself. Subdivide your goal into steps small enough that you have something to achieve every day. Eventually you should arrive at such a state of mind where the goal doesn't even matter much, it's all about the process. Remember, since goals are arbitrary and made up anyways, there's no need to put limits on what you consider an achievement.
>But how would you even go about it? Try to do something outlandish purely for the sake of proving to myself that I don't have to be tied down by others' expectations?
Well it's unlikely that you'll be able to do something outlandish straight away, it might actually do you more harm if it backfires. It too is a process. You should start with something small and work your way up. Try with situations that make you slightly uncomfortable, like say denying someone when they ask you for something etc.
But that creates a bit of a contradiction. If you don't get praised by a particular person, you can just assume that they're not qualified for it. Regardless, I've deviated from my original point too much, and that is the necessity of feeling complete without external validation, no matter from whom. In that case, you would really cut down on rather unnecessary thoughts like this.

>But that creates a bit of a contradiction. If you don't get praised by a particular person, you can just assume that they're not qualified for it. Regardless, I've deviated from my original point too much, and that is the necessity of feeling complete without external validation, no matter from whom. In that case, you would really cut down on rather unnecessary thoughts like this.

But how can you ever know if you're complete without external validation? What if you're wrong? What if they are? How could you ever possibly know the truth, with or without external validation. I can't live a life of ignorance user, nor can I fake it. I have to know.

You are already complete. Everyone is. They just need to realize this.
>What if you're wrong? What if they are? How could you ever possibly know the truth, with or without external validation.
That just makes external validation completely unreliable then, doesn't it?
>I can't live a life of ignorance user, nor can I fake it. I have to know.
I'm not sure I follow you, since you accept that external validation won't show you the truth, yet you still want to experience it?
Anyways, most often external validation will have nothing to do with being right. After all if you seek it, doesn't that already show that you believe yourself to be right? It's fine to accept it and take notice of any positive/negative response from the outside, but the decision is ultimately yours, and it shouldn't depend on other people's feelings towards you.

Only when you're no longer sure of what you're doing or who you are
People use each other as mirrors and to some this doesn't come as naturally as to others
The baseline assumption that you have to make in order to become addicted to praise is that other people are generally right, or that you do not know yourself as well as others know you

But that's most people, isn't it? The majority is directionless, relying on short bursts of positive emotions to sustain themselves.

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>The process should be just as rewarding as the goal. After all that's where 99% of your life will be spent.
Sound argument. However, wouldn't that mean one should prioritize doing the things that are most enjoyable in the moment? It would just be hedonism. Or is it a balancing act between how rewarding the goal and the process is?

>Subdivide your goal into steps small enough that you have something to achieve every day.
I've seen this advice given out a lot, but it's unfortunately pretty difficult to apply most of the time. Plenty of goals can't be easily split into smaller steps, or there's no way to gauge how far you've progressed. Although, maybe there is a way to do this with most goals, and I'm too lazy to think it through enough to come up with a system that will work for me. I do also have trouble with limiting what I consider an achievement, as most aren't enough for me. If I don't get what I want, exactly how I want it, and when I want it, I lose interest in trying and give up.

>You should start with something small and work your way up.
This is a much more pragmatic approach. However, that makes it less appealing to me for some reason. Despite knowing that it's unrealistic, I wish I could make a resolution and magically become a new person in an instant. When faced with a slightly uncomfortable situation, I suspect that I won't see any point in overcoming the discomfort when the reward isn't immediately obvious. I need to figure out how to make myself act the way I want regardless of this. The only advice I've heard about doing things that you seemingly can't convince yourself to do no matter what is "Just do it!", but that is of no help either. I need to somehow persuade myself to see small successes as achievements too, but my negative inner voice shuts such thoughts down pretty rapidly.

How wide are we talking u little bitchh?

I think I understand. After thinking about it I do realize that I have indeed been searching for external validation. I've wanted it desperately. But on some level, like what you're saying, I know that I don't need it and should be content without it. It really is hard to overcome that desire for validation though.
Thank you for your insight user.

>It would just be hedonism. Or is it a balancing act between how rewarding the goal and the process is?
True, it's a bit of a slippery slope. That's what the purpose of a "goal" is. A pointer in the direction you want to go. As long as the steps of the process align with what the goal is, you shouldn't slip into hedonism, unless that is your goal, of course.
>Plenty of goals can't be easily split into smaller steps
VERY WRONG!!! Hehe. Actually one of my favorite things to do is to see how a goal can be divided into steps. It's always possible, at least it hasn't failed me yet, unless your goal is super vague, then there might be some issues.
>Despite knowing that it's unrealistic, I wish I could make a resolution and magically become a new person in an instant.
I used to believe this too, but in the end it's just a process like any other. The reward of taking that small step is that you're now a step closer to your goal. I agree though, it is difficult because the goal itself is a bit loosely defined. Perhaps the real answer would be to try and apply the mindset you would like to have towards more concrete goals. Eventually it should come naturally in other situations too. For example: set a goal that is unlikely to cause you much emotional discomfort, like learning a language or getting ripped. If you apply yourself with a mindset you'd also like to have in other, more uncomfortable situations, it should eventually come to you naturally,
Good to see that, user. Thanks to you, I completed another step today.

I also think it is
I'm one of them and I've been on both sides
It's much harder to find a "genuine" direction after the imperatives that you were either born with or created in a unique space have been wrecked than it is to lose it in the first place, so it makes sense that the majority would not have one
It happens to most people in their teens, I think, some when younger (especially people who went to religious schools). Since I lagged behind I could see this change in others as it was happening and it's like night and day.

>As long as the steps of the process align with what the goal is, you shouldn't slip into hedonism, unless that is your goal, of course.
Well, if the process is tedious, you may still slip up, despite it technically aligning with your goal. And it's hard to come up with any goals the process to achieve which would be sufficiently enjoyable. Learning a language is a decent one, it seems.

>VERY WRONG!!!
Hmm... Maybe so. I can't think of a goal that isn't possible to split up. It still doesn't seem satisfying to me to achieve these smaller steps, though.

>apply the mindset you would like to have towards more concrete goals.
How exactly do I train myself to exhibit such a mindset? Taking your example of learning a language, let's say that I learn twenty new words on a given day. What steps should I take in order to start to (eventually) feel accomplished from this? I can tell myself "Good job!" or something like that, but this kind of thing never seems to do anything as I can't take it seriously.

If you don't feel accomplished from learning 20 words you won't be from learning 10000. After all 10000 is just 20 away from 9880 etc. The point is that the fact that you're continuously moving in the right direction should be the reward itself. Like I said, life is a process not a goal.
Sorry if this is insufficient, because I really want to sleep now.

True. It can feel nice to look back on the progress you made, but even that is only momentarily satisfactory.

Apologies for veering away from the topic of the thread. I'm grateful for all the responses you've written to me, though. I hope I can put to use some of this advice.

Don't lose the plot, lads. I have recently rediscovered my love of music, started practicing again and it's improved my mood and outlook considerably. I suck, but I have come to the position that it's the only thing that I can earnestly worship and humble myself to. We're all gonna make it. I want to join a shitty local bar band.

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Is this eye chan? Are you that OP? You seem like him.

>Pic related was the waifu he posted

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Oh, ''you'' are back. Suicide ain't as easy as you thought it was amirite?

And no, it's not the most powerful, that'd be heroin > sugars/food > sex > nicotine > validation

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I also thought it might have been him.