What's up guys?

A bit unrelated to everything, but what's the best way to have an assassin break into a world leader's mansion and murder said world leader without it being overly and unnecessarily edgy?

I'm finding this as a problem. The scene is meant to be pretty dark, but I think my writing style is making this a bit too emo for how I would like the scene to be portrayed.

it probably doesn't help that I've been listening to emo music on Pandora all night

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I guess you could try writing it just mechanically. Just describe the actions without going into unnecessary or edgy detail.

"The window slid open silently, and he swept in like a ghost. He slid undetected into king arcanine's room, and accomplished his mission."

I'm stressed as hell because i've been phoneposting and for some reason the r9k filter hates it. I honestly have no idea what's going on with it.

After rereading some of this, it's pretty cringe worthy. So read at your own discretion, but I have this bad habit of probably over-expanding on scenes that aren't super important to the main story and then getting stuck on the direction the scene is meant to go.

Sorry in advance, please don't bully 1/2

He crept in the night. He wore all black and his face was covered in a black mask as well. Over his black mask was a red headband that looked almost exactly the same color as blood. It was as if he wanted his victims to catch a glimpse of their fate. He entered in through the roof of Morgan's mansion.

"Hey!!" A guard yelled. This noise was just enough to attract the attention of seven other guards who ran to the source of the noise. Unfortunately, when they arrived, the guard was already dead, lying in a pool of blood. "Shit! Morgan!!" One of the guards exclaimed in reaction. They all ran to her room, which was locked, with two other guards standing in front.

"Have you seen anyone come through here?!" One of the guards asked in a panicked, loud whisper.

"No, haven't seen a soul." One of the room's guards responded. "What was that noise a minute ago though?"

"Someone's after Morgan!! George was murdered in the hallway down there!!" Again, in a panicked loud whisper. They were trying not to wake Morgan up if they didn't have to. Having her in a panic about someone trying to kill her wouldn't help anything right now.

"Guys, we just need to keep our cool. There's nine of us, and most likely, only one of him. We'll send a few guards in the room for extra protection. We'll be fine. Everything will be fine. We're not letting anyone through that door." One of the guards said. There was now a collected calm around all of the guards.

2/2

"Perfect." The assassin thought to himself. He was waiting behind the wall on the other side of the hallway, listening to the clamor. A patrolling guard had discovered him waiting on this side of the mansion, but he was killed before he could even make a sound. Stabbed right in the throat. This hallway was now covered in blood. With all the guards in one place, the assassin made his move. It started with a smoke grenade. He rolled it down the hallway, down to the end where it was now in plain sight of the guards by Morgan's room.

Jow Forums's filter is fucking weird man. I totally feel you

>
He crept in the night. He wore all black and his face was covered in a black mask as well. Over his black mask was a red headband that looked almost exactly the same color as blood. It was as if he wanted his victims to catch a glimpse of their fate. He entered in through the roof of Morgan's mansion.

"Creeping silently in the night, clad totally in black save for a blood-red headband, he slipped into Morgan's Mansion through the roof".

A guard noticed, but barely had time to yell "hey!" before being cut down. Unfortunately, it was just long enough to bring the other guards over. "Someone check on Morgan!" their apparent leader yelled. They ran there to find the door still locked, two guards at their post as always.

"Have you seen anyone come through here?"
"not a soul. anything to do with that noise earlier?"
"George is dead. Someone is coming for Morgan." They spoke in hushed but panicked tones, trying not to wake Morgan if it could be helped.
"He's outnumbered, and in our house. We'll put some extra guards on Morgan and let nobody through that door."

The assassin chuckled silently to himself. A lone guard spotted him just in time to be stabbed in the throat. Throwing a smoke grenade down the hallway, the assassin made his move.

I decided to try rewriting that scene altogether. I'm not really trying to say anything by it but if seeing it written a different way helps at all that's good. My one piece of advice is that swearing in fantasy settings is invariably cringe.

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idk, I always try to add a sense of realism to fantasy settings. Like how would real people interact in this scenario?

I also swear alot irl, so sometimes I can get a tad overboard. But for the most part, I imagine some guards who would most likely have military training wouldn't react to their dead comrades as "Oh darn!" or "Oh shoot!" They're probably somewhere more along the lines of "Oh fuck! We need to act now!" It might be cringe in a fantasy setting, but it's how I imagine the characters to interact.

besides, no one is ever actually going to read this. It's just something I've been doing for fun. It's kind of like a never ending shonen with other elements mixed in.

I'm in a quite bit of a pickle OP. I'm a DM in my tabletop group (we play D&D and some other stuff). I enjoy writing settings, lore, characters and I like to see my players interact with all of that. But there's a problem. We only meet once a week (sometimes we don't even manage that), so plot twists, character development moments, confrontations with villains etc. usually have to wait for months before we get to them during out meetings. I want to share my ideas and my plots without having to wait a whole year for a resolution. My scenarios are in very crude forms though, since I improvise a lot. Should I just refine them and release them somewhere?

I wish I could help you but I know nothing about that kind of stuff. How'd you meet your group? I love all sorts of fantasy, but it's always been a solo hobby of mine. Was everyone a friend before or did you meet through your interest?

Have you thought about joining an online tabletop community? Or finding other playgroups to play with at other times to allow yourself to express some of your creative freedom a little more often?

We were friends before, many years ago we read/watched some videos about tabletop gaming and we decided to try it out. In a short time our group expanded from 3 to 6 people as my friends invited their friends who were interested. Although I always liked creating stories etc, but up until that moment I kept all of that to myself, either reenacting various scenes in my head or by writing short stories in my notebook.

I'm pretty scared to do that. Sharing stories with people online - sure. But I'm afraid of sharing my voice and my acting. I'm scared that I will fuck up and ruin my story because of stress and poor overall presentation.

I'm not saying this to sound condescending, this is a serious response. Try making a thread on /qst/. If you have the free time to make these stories, the anons on /qst/ are all really nice and really active.

I've made one or two threads on there, but my problem was work interfered to much with the actual thread and I was going nowhere with the story. So I just kind of abandoned it there. I still highly recommend it if you have the dedication to the actual story.

Thanks chap, I kinda forgot /qst/ is an option too, I'll probably do that. Once I gather the courage. Once again, thank you.

Not a problem user. Glad I could help

Anybody else hate living in a small town?
There's nothing to do and all anyone cares about is super petty bullshit and gossip drama.