Can we have a nice comfy thread for everyone who is alone tonight?

Hello, all. I got off work at 10:30pm, and have to be back at 10am. That's enough time between shifts. Also it's only a six hour shift, so that's nice. Last, I just discovered an awesome new band- Veara.

>Nice! What are you sip'n?
I got some 12 oz red bulls

>Ouch. I hate the idea that university will be the best time of our lives

it rarely is user, don't fret over that. Anyone who says otherwise never quite grows up

user, I'm not trying to sound like a dick or anything but I already made this thread a little bit ago.

but this thread has a wizard pic

Damn, I feel dumb. I checked through the catalog too but guess I skipped over your thread. My bad I'll be in yours from now on.

Don't know what to say, yeah. That's miserable.
I don't drink alcohol, been a long time since I've played Tetris. If you enjoy Tetris, I guess just try to stop caring if some people are really amazing at it.
I guess.
This reads like a weird advertisement, honestly.

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but spheal is cute, user!

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I have no friends and nobody else to tell this.
I'm a robot who lives alone with his grandpa. I'm on Jow Forums all day, I spend too much time on the internet, I'm probably autistic, and I'm bad at caring for myself. I'm depressive and I chain smoke and I can't sleep and I piss in bottles instead of leaving my room sometimes.
My mom is in prison. My dad beat me. Basically my only accomplishment is that I have a 4-year degree. It took 6 years because I spent a year dicking off and being depressed in college, dropped out, spent a year at home, reapplied elsewhere, got in, and did a 4-year degree there. I'm an older student and it feels like being held back a grade. I'm 25 and still don't have any of my shit together.
The year I spent off, I helped take care of my dying uncle. Lots of time in the hospital and talking to doctors and nurses. Then my grandma, the lady who raised me, got sick and I spent my holidays and a whole year after graduating helping take care of her. She died, too. My dad got cancer. My uncle got cancer. My grandpa got cancer. My aunt got cancer. My cousin got cancer.
I had wanted to go to keep going to school and become a doctor, but when my grandma started dying, I took a year off to help instead. I got letters and everything and I just didn't go. I had saved up my money and gotten a loan and everything just to fill out applications. I wouldn't be able to afford it anyway. We're basically broke now. Ny grandpa's talking about selling the house and they're on my ass about student loans.
(CONT)

Speed user here, no its not. I hope you will have a nice evening, wish you the best.

(CONT)
Now I basically live as a hikki. I have a job substitute teaching thay I don't really like, but it at least pays well. I just Jow Forums all day and jack off and smoke weed and drink Mt. Dew all day and stay up late and watch youtube. I lost contact with all my friends from school and I have none here.
I'm all my grandpa has left and he's all I have left. I wanted to leave before but I can't. A part of me resented them for asking me to stay because I'm already an older student at 25 and didn't want to take another year off. Now I feel like I couldn't leave my grandpa alone. He helped raise me, too.
Today the news said they're opening a medical school where I live. At the hospital I took my family all the time for 5 years. Where I know people. On the Board of Directors.
And they're offering free tuition for the first classes. If I hadn't taken a few years off with my family, I wouldn't have been able to apply there. It didn't exist yet. And this way I don't have to leave. And this way money's not an issue.
All I have to do is get in and maybe things actually worked out in the end.
I'm excited.

I genuinely want to get myself tested to see if I have some form of mental retardation. I sometimes feel as if I have absolutely no common sense whatsoever and often times I ask questions at work that even baffle me as to why I even asked them.
Like I've asked shit like "How do I get this bolt off?"
Sometimes I just kind of space out and forget some fucking crucial information at a pretty damn crucial time.
I've been told that I was diagnosed with ADD, aspergers, and that I was on the autism spectrum, but that was it. I genuinely wonder if that's really all there is or if there is some sort of disorder that only started peeking it's head out recently.

Some of the stupid shit I say and do actually has me fucking scared that I'm going to lose my job. I fix forklifts for a living and it's a great job. I almost did lose my job one time when I damaged a customer's shelf once driving their forklift outside to a PM.

I didn't tell anyone, I don't fucking even know why I didn't, I just fucking didn't. I didn't bring it up to that customer, I didn't tell the other tech that I was with. I didn't call my supervisor. I just kept going. It was a major major fuck up on my end and my company is at the point that they don't want me at customer locations for a while because they're worried I might fuck up sensitive accounts. Lately I've been working with the parts guys, helping them out when needed, and helping out around the shop at the main branch.

I'm sorry to vent guys, I just got a lot going through my head and I've been trying really hard not to worry, but I'm really scared of my mental state. If I have some sort of form of mental retardation, it would probably explain quite a lot of my complete social awkwardness and inability to problem solve or just a lack of awareness of situations. The worst part is, most of the time, I don't even know why it is I even do or say most of the shit I do or say. I just do it/say it.

good luck, keep going friend.

I also have some really bad habits that are really really childish but I still do. Like I occasionally pick my nose and eat it, and I chew on plastic a lot too. Mostly bottle caps. Some days I feel like there's no outlets for these things.

Another time I fell into a scam in which I was highly suspect that it was a scam, but I still left work early, went to a bank, got cash, put it on a greendot card, and sent the man money before I finally put it together that it was a fucking scam and I just wasted like $300 for nothing.

i can relate to this hard man. i am capable but something is fucking wrong with me for sure. it's weird because i am smart in some ways but deficient in others. i work hard and pay all my own bills and rent but i always feel behind everyone else. i suspect i am a total idiot

Sometimes I just straight up tell people that I'm retarded. It's meant to be in a joking manner, but I'm pretty sure most of my coworkers know I'm secretly being serious and totally agree that I'm fucking retarded.

I'm listening to Arctic Monkeys in my room, dimly lit by the screen which I've invested my life in and the ambient light of the window outside. I'm hungry, but I promised myself that I wouldn't eat until the morning in order to take advantage of Hardee's breakfast menu.

A girl I don't know outside of the internet offered for me to see Lords Of Chaos with her. She's been stalking a good friend of mine for a little while, and when I brought this up to him he said that she "has her own issues she needs to work out". I'm pretty desperate though so it's honestly up in the air.

Studying roman history for a final ditched class a lot because the professor is boring but holy fuck this is a good shit
>tfw when rome was founded it was a sausage fest and they kidnapped a bunch of women

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Feeling kinda bad cause I've had a massive headache all afternoon, just started watching the 27th episode of HydeWars (Sam Hyde podcast). After I watch it and the painkillers for my headache kick in I'm gonna do a bit of study for my university course, gotta read a couple chapters of an accounting textbook

>What are you feeling?
pretty comfy, kinda tired, probably ill go to sleep in a bit
>What are you up to tonight?
spacing out in my room as usual. contemplating life, the ethics of veganism, god, all sorts of stuff
>Eating
pic related
>drinking
water
>drugging
i drank black tea with caffeine in it earlier. otherwise im sober and i dont take any drugs
>playing
i was playing hearthstone arena earlier
>watching
random youtube videos about veganism or whatever random bullshit
>listening to?
youtube.com/watch?v=cNplZrRSjeI

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Hang in there, buddy. Real-world shit happens when you do real world shit. You know you're good at your job, so don't let it psych you out.
I think we spergs overthink things.

Got into an argument with my gf concerning if it is bad for families to be broken up. She was a total nutcase on this and actually argued that it is ok for men to have custody of the child, which in most cases they don't. I believe that this is deeply unfair and that both sexes should have equal representation on this matter. This came about because we were watching LOST and Michael has Walt taken away. I said that it is awful and unfair how the woman moved to another country with his child, pretty much separating the father and the son indefinitely.

I brought up statistics showcasing how bad it is to come from a broken home, she got mad and actually started saying that these don't matter (she does this a lot when we argue, statistics and facts don't prove anything to her). I pretty much started laughing about how stupid her argument was, it was mainly "men bed women good". She really pissed me off so I stopped talking to her. Then I spent the night watching Louis Theroux documentaries. Now I'm debating with myself if I should go and take pictures, it's cloudy and I'm tired but it would be nice.

I'm really having doubts about if we will work out together. She is a total feminist, an atheist, an egoist. I am a Christian, a Catholic. I don't believe in abortion (something she is very much for), I don't believe in divorce (to her marriage is unnecessary) and so on. I have tried to put these differences at rest, but when she confronts me I can't be quiet, I need to have my point heard. I believe we are just too different. However I love her, and I believe that I always will. I always thought about joining the Church and training as a priest, and maybe after we break up I could do that. I am in my finaly year of university, and have been thinking about doing it for many years now.

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>tfw live at home and catch train to university
>literally never talk to anyone from there outside of classes
>other students only talk to me when they have to, e.g when professor does group quizzes
>i always end up working with a few chads or stacys who talk among each other and ignore me
I fucking hate higher education

Broken home user here.
Yeah, it fucks you up, but sometimes if one parent is a psycho or can't support you then the one that can function basically has to kidnap you. Women get unfair advantage and the courts are too quick to split up families, but sometimes it just has to happen.
My whole generation is fucked up from it.

I'm at work. I'm near co-workers, but I'm alone nonetheless, does that count? Later I'll be home, alone, with roommates, but still alone

>What are you feeling?
Sad and bored, the usual feeling in these past weeks, not bad, not good either.

>What are you up to tonight?
Nothing really, I would love to smoke a good bowl and get really high, sadly Im out of weed

>Eating, drinking, drugging, playing, watching, listening to?
Watching Kitchen Nightmares in youtube

>I am a Christian, a Catholic
>dating as a christian
>having premarital sex as a person who believes in the bible

did you know its prohibited somewhere in the bible to even be alone with a female in the same room without some kind of supervision?

lol you aint dead serious about your religious beliefs, senpai. otherwise you'd be a virgin, you fucking normie, fuck off my board

I am a Catholic user, this is one of the things that happens and most priests just accept it. Yes I do feel guilty about my actions, yes I am living in sin.

Hi friends,
Feeling sad because no long have a qt to come home to.
Currently listening to the radio.
Probably just spaghetti for dinner and a night of games.

I've been trying to chat to some girls but I must be boring or not pushy enough. One girl said to just send a picture of myself and I'll keep their interest, but I'm too shy.

I'm thinking about talking to my counselor or a psych or something and actually get help because I can no longer deal with it anymore, and I can't vent to anyone but anonymous users since I have no close friends

>Yes I do feel guilty about my actions, yes I am living in sin.
>huuuurrrr im a believer in the bible but im okay with having promiscuous sex hurrr
>hurrrrrrrr hey i have a great idea how about i become a priest, so i can show off how great of a role model that i am, my behavior is a fantastic example to follow

fuck modern religion, fuck catholics and fuck you. catholics are all pedos and immigrants and females and people who believe in paul, anyways

paul was a false apostle, jesus was a vegan and the only thing catholics are competent at is fucking kids

Can't deal with what user?

Sitting on the couch watching a movie while browsing Jow Forums.

Life isn't so black and white user. I will be judged, I am aware of that.

Suicidal thoughts, overwhelming social anxiety (can't even go to the store anymore), general lack of motivation for anything
I'm really afraid of failing college and ending up homeless.

Our burdens are ours alone to bear.

Last night was terrible, started to feel lonelier than I have ever been in awhile just listening to sad songs. I started to have a breakdown and woke my mom up to have a cigarette with me outside, I began to sob about how much I fucked up my life she knew I was suicidal so after a hug she said to not lock the door because she wanted to check up on me in case I did something stupid. Truth be told I haven't had a breakdown like this in over a year so hopefully it doesn't happen again any time soon. To answer your question for tonight though I'm gonna try to get some vodka be drunk and watch anime till I pass out so I can forget about my problems

I've got three more if you've got more retard 13 year old atheist takes

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You aint wrong about that dude, Catholicism is a fucking disease just like all of christianity, Im trying to leave it because its making me ill. "Dont lust after a women" thats a fucking retarded verse just like "love your neighbor" some people are undeserving of love

but i strongly believe in god, and even in jesus, i just think that paul is a false apostle, and catholics are retards

i much more respect the ebionites or the essenes who wrote the dead sea scrolls, or the early church before rome killed everyone and sanitized everything and corrupted it will all of its horseshit

post more of your fedora shit tier ad hominid memes you fucking retard

>I'm really afraid of failing college and ending up homeless.
You will not end up homeless, but you should try and work in university. If you don't you might be stuck in some awful job that you hate, but this may also happen if you succeed.

>Suicidal thoughts, overwhelming social anxiety (can't even go to the store anymore)
Have you tried going out during night time? This helped me a lot, also going on walks as well. I recommend supersize, it's proven that it helps with anxiety. Do some push ups every day, buy a kettlebell and work out with it. It will definitely help you, the endorphins that your body will release will be a huge positivity.

>general lack of motivation for anything
This is something I myself struggle with. What usually motivates me is the dread of failure, this is when I actually start doing things. I can give you some tips. Keep thinking about what you need to do, remind yourself as many times as you can throughout the day that there are things you must do. Try to make a start, the quote goes "starting to work is half the task", remember this. Actually making a start is a HUGE move in the right direction.

I hope things work out for you user, never give up. This work is a veil of tears, but try to make the best of it.

>I started to have a breakdown and woke my mom up to have a cigarette with me outside
without downplaying what happened this honestly sounds comfy and i wish it was something i could do with my mum. too bad she would think i'm crazy in the head for asking her to do anything with me

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have you thought eating more protein maybe? consuming a sufficient? blend of nutrients?

>2 beers and 3 clonzapam from old stash
>Fell asleep reading
>Just woke up from nap, pillow is flat and neck hurts

Feel like shit. Took me a bunch of tries to type this out so I didn't look like a skull-fucking retards because of typos.
Keeping my mind distracted is the only thing that keeps me from scouting out places where my body would cause the least amount of fuss and trauma when discovered,. Just constant input needed or the unpleasantness of my life starts to sink in and it feels like I'm drowning constantly but nobody cares.. And nobody does care. Fuck.

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I combat a day to day fear of mediocrity. My father worked a low income job his entire life for reasons I can't fully explain considering that he was a very wise man growing up, but I think it just had to do with getting caught up in the grind of day to day life, safe job, bills, debt etc.

I'm the oldest child and the only son. In a lot of ways it has kind of fallen to me to do more than my father did. I know how much my parents want me to succeed, they want me to avenge their life in a way, or to validate it. They were perfect parents and raised us with every ounce of care and attention.

But I feel like their point of view can sometimes very naive, their understanding of life, fulfillment, success and all the rest is so caught up in the money they never had, so much of that now comes down on my shoulders. I have this responsibility to earn a lot of money and live this fulfilling life to show that it can FINALLY happen to one of us.

So much of me wants to just breathe. Forget. Live. Consume. Eat. Sleep. Love a quiet girl. Have children. Never think of bigger things. Enjoy. Play video games. Play sport on the weekend. Visit friends. But a sense of dread GNAWS at me, GNAWING GNAWING. I go to sleep every day regardless of how productive I've been feeling guilty for never doing enough.

I watched the movie Paterson with Adam Driver and I nearly cried during it. It's kind of all I want but I think I'll never be able to have that peace. Instead, it's the kind of life I'll eventually have to settle for at the ends of my pointless striving for something more, when I inevitably fail my loved ones and myself, since I have inherited the point of view that money really means everything.

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yeah, sounds like you caught a case of the normie
or as alan watts would call it, progress fever
once you realize that the material world is passing and very much capable of feeling 'dead' you will gravitate to want you truly want (which you have stated), which in turn shimmers the world around you (and inside)

meant to tag ur post with this one

how does clonzapam make u feel?

Thanks man. I meditate every morning I'm on something of a quest to get rid of the desire already. Just a massive dragon to slay.

>family full of failures
>my (non biological) dad is a high school drop out working as a mechanic
>mom got pregnant with me during his early 20s and had to drop out of college
>5 siblings, 4 sisters and a brother, really the only one with some chances of success between us
>only successful person in our family, my aunt, doesn't talk to us
>my grandparent from my dad's side is a mechanic who recently started smoking and drinking again
>uncles from my mom's side are schizophrenic so I might have issues with that
>everyone else is working dead end jobs
I just really want to win the lottery or something and just forget about everything.

it's worse when you're the only sibling who can actually do it.

It barely affects me at this point. It takes 300mg to touch me at this point. Some booze too if I want it to actually hit me.

>given literal nonsense directions to analyze data at work
>reason behind method very confusing to me
>directions themselves also very confusing
>consult with a trusted friend on what to do, get suggested an alternate way to analyze data
>result of this alternate analysis method is shockingly good
>makes sense both theoretically and in conjunction with other data
>very happy with results, thought it would make boss happy too since we have been very frustrated with this analysis and we can finally move on
>present results of analysis earlier today
>hardly get chance to talk and fully explain ideas
>boss doesn't get it.
>accuses me of wasting time, calls method nonsense.
>finally get clearer directions on what boss wanted
>do that instead
>actually get legit nonsense

Lesson learned: Guess I should have done it the way I was told first before suggesting the new way. Wish I could be comfortable just doing things without understanding why.

And now I'm just sipping the last of my rum so I stop feeling upset so I can go to bed. I have to report the "total nonsense" results tomorrow anyways, and given what happened I don't expect my boss to be in a good mood.

The days just getting started here but I'm just thinking about playing Skyrim later tonight. I might focus on a city rather than any particular quest line, I'm considering Solitude or Markarth.

>Can we have a nice comfy thread for everyone who is alone tonight?
Alright. I guess you're talking to me.
>What are you feeling?
Sad. Tired.
>What are you up to tonight?
Didn't have work today. Went to the local community college for some mathematics tutoring so I can test into the military.
>Eating
Blue-cheese and aged manchego.
>drinking
Fine port. I ran out of merlot and this is all I've got left.
>drugging
Gave up drugs so I could join the Navy. >playing
Played Metro Redux over again just earlier.
>watching
This thread, presently. Also, this:
youtube.com/watch?v=WUhOnX8qt3I
Never even played it, I just thought this was funny half a decade ago and thought I'd give it another watch again.
>listening to?
youtube.com/watch?v=zXIsRohjd7w
youtube.com/watch?v=U1CIaeYeMdg
youtube.com/watch?v=Vv-ArrKsslQ
youtube.com/watch?v=kdo-fIET0co

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>watching
Oh! I just remembered, I watched the new episode of Interface again recently. It really makes me happy, in a weird sort of way. Blessings from Saint UMAMI.
youtube.com/watch?v=xJnX6RUzjQw

>interface
fellow arg enthusiast? You're all right

Interface is a real gem in a sea of trash. You have any other suggestions?

>I watched the movie Paterson with Adam Driver
watch more of jarmusch's films if you haven't already. they're comfy as fuck and really make you feel content with life. stranger than paradise is my all-time favourite film

No matter what happens tomorrow night you will be home and in bed and it'll be done.