/self-discovery/

i've learned that discipline leads to a worthwhile existence. the pain of discipline is greater than the pain of regret. until you have internalized what discipline actually means, your existence is predicated upon emptiness and your dreams will always be intangible. you do not know how to dream until you have centered your being

unfortunately i don't think there is any way to ignite this objective truth in someone. all you can do is lead by example and hope those around you are inspired to find discipline in their own lives. most will never, and that is a sobering and lonely realization of making it

you have a very distorted view of the world. it's true that good-looking people have more leeway, but people will eventually stop tolerating you if you're weird or mean

Not interested in incel philosophy

This is gospel, a truly enlightened man

>I also removed almost every cope from my life
how?

Turns out you actually have to work hard to get an identity. You're not given one. You see all these tumblrfags with their gender and disability labels and they dress like clowns to make it look like they have an identity but it's superficial and meaningless. You need to put in the work to be yourself. Become an expert at something. Put your life together. Learn something new so you have something to talk about. Meet new people and develop a network. Exercise so you can have the physical appearance you want. Do these things and at the end of the day you can feel proud about yourself because you had to work hard to become yourself.

There is some truth to what he says though. It's not as extreme as he expresses it, but he's not entirely wrong. Most people are more likely to tolerate or respond positively to the words and actions of people who appear to have more value. For instance, most people will take someone more seriously if they are fit, tall, attractive, and well dressed then if they are short fat, ugly, and dressed like a hobo. Do you guys deny this? I already know it's true from personal experience. People tolerate my autism and generally like me more ever since I got fit and started dressing better.

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No one is denying the halo effect, but a total fixation on "looksmaxxing" and how others perceive you as a central life philosophy is unlikely to bring fulfillment in the way that I and many others are seeking.

Also, your manga is dumb

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I tell myself I know me but then I realize I don't. I want to practice meditation more consistently and see if that helps at all.

In a vacuum it's worthless. Solipsism is a spook of the highest order. However it is edifying to seek wisdom from the Bible, classical philosophers, and early theologians, and that will give you plenty to meditate on.

What's centereing your being? What does it means?

>Most people are more likely to tolerate or respond positively to the words and actions of people who appear to have more value
that's literally what i said. the tolerance threshold might be higher, but it doesn't mean it's infinite. you can lose your status pretty quick. i know plenty of good-looking fit guys that are not well regarded by others due to their words and actions.

ive found i basically run on autopilot doing what is expected of me to barely function until i meet a girl who i like, get hopelessly dependent on for affection and inevitably fuck it up leading to a long stint of major depression before i go back to autopilot

Bump

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I discovered (nearly 5 years ago) that I'm actually a horrible person.
I actually put my interests before others and the idea of giving something away without having nothing back repulses me; I unwillingly raped my ex (at least that's what she said the day after before leaving me and even if I doubt that she really meant it I can't help still feeling bad about it to this day), I fake disinterest for other's opinion but I really just want their admiration and constant love.
Discovering all this helped me deciding to try being a better man: I'm still away from where I want to get but I'm working on it

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>I unwillingly raped my ex
wat

based as fuck, if I may.

As I said, it's what she said the morning after.
In my opinion it was just like other times, the day after she said she felt raped.
It crushed me because we were together for 5 years and I really loved her

dodged a hollowpoint user

I guess...can't help still feeling like shit about it sometimes, though. Oh well

Don't feel bad for that one have pity for your battered soul AHEM the way I see it she would leave you anyway she looked for some excuse to dump you to relieve her conscious

Thanks user. Yeah, I thought that too after some time...it's just hard to not look behind to those five years of happiness, I guess.
I'm trying to carry on, one day at a time, a little better every day

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Examples of copes and how you removed?

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I've noticed that a lot of art-student types really put the cart before the horse with aesthetic/identity. If you are passionate about what you love, it will start to show in what you wear and how you present yourself. Wearing "wacky unique" shit is literally as bland as it gets.

I've found myself, but I'm 21 with no friends and no achievements, barely any money, plus I'm fat. All I now have is a reason, a drive, and life experience, I've also learned how to be genuinely kindhearted. I still can't stand being alone, which I think is what I need to get better at.

Any sort of behaviour which is inhibited or comforting has to go. If you're not simply existing without fear of doing anything, you're in cope mode.

Loneliness is your best friend. That's something most people will never realise.

Now use it. Let the feeling arrive and face it, then it will pass and eventually you'll find solace in it. The loneliness will be transformed from the cold heat of hell to the bright gardens of heaven. Then meet people.

It's weird how life works sometimes. I've done almost all my personal growth alone. Yet it always gets unbearable after a while.

I've "found myself" as in finding what I like through adventuring in film, music, and hiking trails. I've "found myself" as in finding what I want to be through my career, traveling, women, and friends. Like what says, if you want some decent introspection I recommend getting a light form of alcohol buzz and trying out albums posted in /mu/ chart threads as an hour of action tonight

I only enjoy lifting weights and bulking.

I used to hangout with my friends a lot but I've discovered a lot of them aren't really my friends. They don't invite me to most functions and when they do all they do is drink alcohol and talk trash about the guys who aren't there, which leads me to believe they talk trash about me a lot.

The best bros I have are the ones I met in the gym. I try and surround myself with guys who build each other up instead of tear each other down. All my old friends do is take away from the things I enjoy and make me feel good about myself.

Honestly bros, if you feel down about not having that many friends or even no friends at all you should cheer up. A lot of guys nowadays aren't really about anything beyond tearing one another down to try and make themselves feel better about their insecurities or position in life.

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Exact same bro. I feel like I'm missing out so much but after a couple years, I look at my old friends who did what I wanted to do (party) and they look like they fell off completely. Whilst I developed and now we're in 2 separate classes of people

This is my current friend group in college. I get lonely if I distance myself from them though.

whats the halo effect?

I tend towards anxiety so the best thing for me is getting the fuck out of my head. Hardcore dancing between heavy squats and diddies is my therapy.

uh oh

i hump air in my spare time hell yea

literally me

I went from
>Autist who doesn't know any better than to act like a complete fucking sperg
to
>Pretending to be a normalfag and succeeding to the point where girls would fight over me and I'd hear people whispering under their breath about how they wish they could be as cool as me
to
>Autist who knows better but has completely embraced it to be more like his anime characters.

The most cathartic thing in the universe is looking through my most ancient stuff and realizing that I always had excellent taste.

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I went without internet for a long period, It was very good. I think I'm gonna go back.

AWW MAN THAT GIRL WHO LIVES IN A HIGHRISE APARTMENT MUST HAVE IT SO BAD

OH SOB
OH CRY
IM SO DEPRESSED
*wipes tears with trust fund*

We are the sum of our actions. If you never perform any (meaningful!) action, how do you expect to find yourself?

Fpbp

Go out and try different things, especially going outside. Summer is here fren, it is a big world out there with many opportunities and lessons to learn.

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