Im ruined boys tl;dr used to be a neonazi, while simultaneously going to church, selfhated, met a girl but Im sabotaging myself
>grew up in a fucked up neighbourhood but family is very catholic and we go to church every week >everybody in town is fucking racist >during highschool I get involved with the wrong people >make friends there, feel accepted >in the beginning its fairly innocent, just ranting about how whites are opressed and Mexicans are lazy, stuff like that >as we get older we get exponentially more aggressive and violent >seek out street fights >stop going to church cause its frowned upon by my peers >every weekend we drive around town and start shit, get into gangfights >a friend of mine gets stabbed, just fuels our hate even more >one night we get attacked, Im beaten up badly and my friends leave me behind as the police arrives >parents bail me out >the day after our pastor comes to our house and talks to me >about gods love but it doesnt really touch me >makes me promise that ill start to attend church again >comply >go to church again but still drive around with my friends but im starting to develop something like a cognitive dissonance >just feel like dying every time i talk to them about race and violence >feel even worse when we re getting confrontational with other gangs >cant live with myself like that >realize that Im a catholic at heart, that i need god and that the gang thing was a vent for me cause we were treated like second class citizens in out neighborhoods by the upper class people in school and at work >stop fighting back when others beat me up, feel like thats what I deserve after everything ive done >one Sunday after church pastor pulls me aside and asks about the bruising on my face >break down >he comforts me and prays for me >lets me confess my sins >talk for a long time >he helps me step after step to get out of the gang >get some death threats but im more worried about Gods judgement >pt2
Tell us more. I want to see if this ends in refemption or tragedy.
Asher Collins
>C*tholics >Christian The entire religion is structured around ignoring Christ's commands to worship and revere only the Lord, that all men are equally sinful and that you are saved by the repentance that makes you hate sin rather than sinning all week and then receiving forgiveness by telling a priest about it. Also, you venerate the mother Mary and pray to her, venerating her above all saints and even at times the Holy Spirit, which is a part of the Trinity God and therefore a high heresy.
Go to a small, faithful church that doesn't support gay marriage, abortion, open borders, or any of that and talk to a church elder about this stuff. The Catholic 'Church' has a long history of involvement in organized crime that continues to this day, they weren't mad at you for being involved but for not being senior enough.
>doesnt matter cause im moving away for college anyways >meet new people theyre really chill >meet this girl, shes super sweet and a social work major >can tell that she likes me but in the back of my head theres this voice I cant turn off telling me im not good enough for her >block her attempts to get emotionally close to me >after a while another guy starts to woo her >they kind of start seeing each other but she isnt really into it >still get jealous >self hatred intensifies >one night we get drunk at a party and sneak out after a while to talk on the porch >she asks me why im not letting her close to me >she tells me that she has feelings for me >tell her that shes with that other dude now >she still keeps asking about what my problem is >im drunk enough to not give a shit anymore and tell her about my past >about what I did and why I feel like i dont deserve her affection >she starts to cry >im hurting and want to comfort her but dont know what to do >hug her >dont feel drunk anymore >feel her breathe on my neck and her weight against my chest >dont think >kiss her >she kisses me back >gentle at first but get more demanding making out heavily against the door >pick her up and carry her to my car >feel like fucking stars collide around us >held back from this for months >have sex >fall asleep in each others arms >next day wake up happy but she feels horrible about the other guy >pt3
Cooper Walker
>bible acknowledges other gods exist >bbbbuuuutt don't worship them silly goys yeah this seems like a real thing and not some population control run amok
Aaron Harris
dude if this isn't some really boring pasta you're working on, goddamn son I pity you
Camden Reed
>pt3 Go on, user
Alexander Davis
also listening for part 3 even though religion is fake if it helps you that's a little good I guess
>I drive her home >later that night she texts me asking if i can pick her up >sends me an address Ive never been to before >when I arrive shes standing outside, crying, her lip is busted and her eye is starting to bruise >get out of the car and ask what happened >she doesnt wanna tell me and first and just leave >I feel rage crawling up my spine, the kind of rage I used to feel when I beat others up back home >she tells me that the guy she was seeing was urging her to sleep with him >she accidentally called him by my name and he just completely sperged out >started chocking and punching her while relentlessly hammering into her >fucked and beat the crap out of her >told her that he had always mistrusted me >she told me that she thought he was gonna kill her >ask her where the fuck he lives >she refuses to tell me >tell her that I want to kill him >for whatever reason she d rather protect this worthless rapist than get some justice >try to convince her but she just shuts down and starts crying again >ask her whether she wants me to bring her to the hospital she just says -home- >drive her home
Elijah Fisher
>for whatever reason she d rather protect this worthless rapist than get some justice geez dude calm down, she just cucked you both and you're mad at the other dude she cucked rather than mad at her for being a cuck queen and lying to you both. She obviously doesn't give a rat's ass about either of you, and just wants some dick. If you beat up the other dude she won't lift a finger to protect you if he calls the police or calls some of his buddies. She won't hesitate to cuck you again as soon as some other betacuck catches her interest, or Chad glances at her from across a crowded room.
>t. one of these girls ruined my teenage friendgroup because she told all of us that various others in the group had abused/raped/threatened her and it took us years to see past the titties to realize she was manipulating us
Sebastian Clark
Also protip, if a girl is in a relationship with another man and tells you she's interested in you, 100% of the time she's a cheating cunt and won't hesitate to do the same to multiple other men when you think she's "with" you. These women aren't in it for love, they see men as stepping stones. Just as I might have a mediocre job and tell my boss I'm committed to the company even though I'm looking for and even interviewing with better companies, she won't hesitate to try and upgrade every chance she gets because you're no more important to her than that weird coworker at Walmart that you pretend to befriend just because he's the least obnoxious one who will talk to you. There are women out there who don't see relationships like this, in fact most don't. Get away from this trailerpark rent-a-hole, it's better to be single than throw your life away into the Dumpster that is her social existence.
Levi Gray
so you threw away your right-wing death squad for some god?
