Just lost the girl I was to spend my life with
Turns out she never loved me and I was never the one
cheated on me and hated her life with me
we live together and she has yet to move out
I keep telling her it wont be easy to move out trying to keep her here as long as I can because I am not ready to move on
I cant find comfort in anything anymore every thought is about her and I only find peace when she is asleep because I know she isn't leaving
When I met her she was going through a divorce had a fuck buddy and was to move to be with her boyfriend in two weeks yet she chose to stay with me
Let her go you dumb fuck cuck
Find someone that wants to be with you
Our life went on and we got a place together and I thought we were happy yet we still had or problems
We stopped sleeping together and stopped having that love feeling so long ago our last big fight I asked why she loved me and why she was here and she said that she had been trying to break up with me for 2 years (we were together for 3)
She said she never would have stayed how she known
I asked her years ago if she had to choose again to stay or go to be with that guy she said be with that guy
she said she was never in love with me while things were good and that I wasnt her forever
She decided to stay and sign a lease with me she moved with me she had so many chances to leave or be done with me but never would
She said today that she would try but I would never let her yet she is so so so done and so over me and does not want to be with me and after all this I still cant deal with it I cant pull myself away
We fought a lot and I was in a really bad spot when we first met
She never gave me the love I needed yet she never really wanted too. i was never the one for ever through the whole time and she said she stayed because she hoped things would get better and every time they would get close to an end I would lose more and more of her
Is this a Hank Hill LARP or something lmao
This is why us really never a good idea to get involved with romance. The Jedi had it right
yesterday she didnt say I love you back and she is making plans to get her things and move out.
The life I have now is the only life I have and its because of her I am her because of her not that I am not able to have my own life but I have built my entire life as of late to us and for us and not its completely up rooted
I get it I get she doesn't want me and never really did and never committed to me. she was never fully in this and never really wanted this
so why do I care so much after all this and knowing she doesnt want me and knowing she wants out so bad why do I still hold on
I think not have the the chance to show her me at my best and see if we could maybe work if the things she hated about me were different she is a sleep in the next room and I feel ok and I feel like things will eb ok but the moment she wakes up I will be in complete heart ache again
Music that reminds me of her densest bother me things that remind me of her don't make me sad the thoughts I have of going through life and not being able to share with her do
I just wish I could get her to stay
She doesnt me me or this and never did I knew this a long time ago and it made our live a living hell
how is one to make things better if one person never wanted it she never gave me 100% ever and never will I will never get a second chance with her
I do not want to find someone else are move on I feel as if she was my one true love and the one I will always regret
I dont know what to do her life is pretty decent out side of me and she has the support of her family and friends that will take her side and she is all I have and I a not sure what to do
This was my life and now its gone
i want to move a few states away and start a new life I will be alone and by myself but I feel like I have ran my course here
My life here was only due to her i didnt move in with her and she didnt move in with me we did this together and now its gone and she doesnt want it at all
She is getting more distant as the days go on she has been pulling away for almost 2 years now but thinks are becoming more sudden she is no longer wanted to talk or be around or touch or anything
I am not over her and I dont know why she isnt good for me doesnt want me and doesnt want me around or to have a life with me
so why do I want her so bad why cant I move on knowing this was coming why wasnt I ready
she said she wants to start moving her stuff out and go with with the guy she was sleeping with or her moms or stay with her sister
The guy lives to far away so she doesnt really want to do that
her moms house is pretty full and not a lot of room
and her sisters is kinda like the moms place just kinda full
I told her this is her place to and she can stay her and keep her stuff her no need to get rid of things or move out and not live in your own place
she seems to be ok with that i thnk but wants to figure out the lease thing to see if she has to stay and pay and stuff
We both cant afford our own place by ourselve so we will be in a pretty big whole and have to start from 0 she would need a new phone car and her place but doesnt make enough to do that
She wants to leave and do it her own but she cant unless she has to be some where she doesnt want to be so why not just stay here
She told me she doesnt like being here because all i want to do is talk about it
Do I put on the charm and show her without being in her face that I can be the one and go back to flirting and being that guy she stayed for or what
stupid cuck
beating her to death would be better than still wanting her
I cant seem to let this idea go or this feeling go I cant find comfort in things that bring me joy and I cant seem to shake this
Thinking about her and nothing else is the norm now and when they though of her fades I go into panic mode and have to walk outside or feel like I am going to throw up and cry
I know she is going to leave and I know she is done and there is noting I can do so why do I still hold on to this why do I still want it after knowing she hasnt loved me for years why am I still here
I dont want to do life without her but she never wanted to do it with me
Just have no idea what to do or why I cant let go
I am not thinking about the good times or the bad I am not thinking about anything really nothing at all its honestly just her she is my only thought just her
And the thought of doing life without she her kills me
and I dont want to be be woe is me but I dont have friends or family or anything she was my life and all I had and now its gone she is fine and will be fine yet I am dead and this is it its over all I had is gone and the rest is quickly leaving
King of The Hill was a great show