Just a small feels thread

College is really enjoyable and easy, you should give yourself the push you need to go through with it if you've got a paid path there. I use to be exactly like you until I went to college for my criminal justice degree, and although I don't think I learned a lot specifically for my career I do feel as if I grew at a person and became more of an adult in mindset through the experience.

I may not be riding high in life right now, but thanks to college I feel as if I can and it isn't an impossibility. It's frankly easier than public school was because professors don't bullshit and when they do it usually just means no class or work for you. If you feel like missing a class you can, nobody cares because it's your money.
Tradeschool was even better, and working under a master was extremely satisfying. I didn't know I needed that kind of experience in my life but it filled whatever personal void I had and for a good period I was completely satisfied.
I'm sure you've heard it before, but college really is a unique experience and despite people shitting on it nobody will deny that it's an experience that will grow who you are as a person.

I keep drinking even though I am sure my stomach is bleeding. I don't want to sleep. Not in that room ...

ex is back in town, while she was gone I finally got my shit together but now that she's back I've completely broken down, wtf is wrong with me

>I will never be able to draw anime well
>I will never be able to learn japanese to a practical level

Is is because I wasn't born in the right country or because I'm a brainlet? or both?

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I've regularly been sitting next to one of the most beautiful girls I've ever been around in one of my uni classes. We actually talk quite a bit before class and for the first time in my life I'm excited to go to school since it means I'll get some human interaction for once. However, the other day I saw her phone screen and it was a picture of her and her boyfriend. While I knew there was absolutely no chance of anything happening between us, I still feel defeated. Life is easier when you don't interact with anyone.

How has your life changed since losing your virginity?

Tired of my weekly rituals lately. Every free second of my time goes to my gf, I only get my own free time blocks about 3 days per week, for about half of the day, 2/3 of these days I work so I'm too fatigued to actually be productive.

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I am so fucking sick and tired of watching movies and reading books and not picking up on the meaning of them. why do I have to be so out of touch with feeling and emotion?

The realization that I enjoy nothing. I am only motivated by avoiding negative results.

I just feel as if maybe I'm not smart enough to have the life I want. Maybe I'm crazy but when I walked into college two years ago everything seemed so easy. But now it's 10:30 and I'm behind again.

I want to be an engineer, and a successful person but maybe I just wasn't cut out for it.

dumped bf because he couldn't keep his romantic attention on me and only me

feels lonely

This is my 8th year as a NEET and my family is about to kick me to the curb. Trying to mentally prepare myself for suicide. It's been a good run I guess

I feel a bit better after it. Like a week later I got a bf too so things have improved. I still just feel terrible about throwing so much of my youth away though and I don't think I'll ever really get over it.

The realization that I enjoy nothing. I am only motivated by avoiding negative results.

Also thinking about needing anime wife.

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My lifes direction is aimless. I've failed miserably in everything I do.

>How much I wish I could distance myself from politics and other controversial subjects that make me exceedingly angry.
>How much I fucked up leading on this nice but fat girl and will now have to break her heart
>How much I wish I could just sleep at night instead of staying up on Jow Forums

my parents intentionally sabotaged my health from infancy and that started fucking up my brain as a kid. they set me up and I'll probably kill them one day.

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I've completely fucked up another semester at college. My parents are going to be disappointed in me again. All I've ever wanted was to make them proud of me. Why can't I just put forth the effort like everyone else can bros?

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a muslim girl in my uni class said she had feelings for me, i think shes cute but it would never work out. i have no problem with her being a muslim but i dont think her parents would approve and the culture shock would be so strange to both of us

not a good day today. couple small failures. feeling shitty . hope you are well

>throwing youth away

Currently on that train but find myself incorrigible. Like I am aware I am walking off but I don't even care for what youth "should" be spent on. It felt so weird when an older coworker told me he wished he was my age in my position (living alone in a beach area area) I had just turned 18 at the time. I've seen posts on "how to change yourself" but I don't care to be fixed. I'll probably regret it later but now I am warm where I am as much as I hate it.

Right now? Debating if I should fap or not. I'm horny, and I want to, but I don't want to relapse.

>be me
>tfw you start to wonder if you spent $2000 on a new gaming computer and it more of a Jow Forums and jewtube machine
>tfw it wont even run fortnite
That's what I get for saving up for so long and trying to buy something that would make me happy... I just wish I hadnt forgotten about the fact that I'm a complete moron and expensive gaming PCs are for people who are smarter than i am.

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Don't. PC gaming is a meme.

I know the "hurrdurr PC master race" thing is a meme and everything, but theres so many games out that are better on PC, either because they can be modded or just be played at higher graphics settings.... and mine can barely handle things on medium... you think an RTX 2070 would be able to do better than that

user your computer might be defaulting to Intel integrated graphics instead of the rtx

I have absolute soup in my minimalistic brain right now. How does one just give up emotions? teach me.

hold on you might be onto something. Is that why BeamNG.drive says i need to use a better GPU than an intel when i am equipped with the rtx 2070?

Did you even install drivers for your GPU? And your computer is actually detecting it?

I have trouble forming relationships and am more or less incapable of sustaining them because I assume people are trying to undermine or take advantage of me, am incapable of accepting submission but am too beta to stand up for myself, and whenever I get even a little bit stressed I start lying compulsively. I'm paying exorbitant sums of my own money for therapy, maybe it'll help.

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girl I added recently already seems disinterested in me and stopped responding. getting ready to preemptively remove her in the next few days otherwise it seems like she's just going to leave me in online but not talking to you limbo

I'm in the same boat, user. I'd make their life easier by ending mine, but they probably wouldn't like that. Hate college.

im in a weird spot. I make neet bux around $1000 a month, but getting a job with no experience and having to work 9-5 so i could make the same makes me not want to do anything, I want to get better but adding it all up. it's easier if i just.. didn't do anything at all

I want to learn to play the oud (a middle-Eastern instrument that sounds like some Lawrence of Arabia type shit-It's badass) but I'm White and I hate mudslimes.
youtube.com/watch?v=rCOFfHqEVzo

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I'll never forgive my ex for pulling that shit on me, hey get a pc so we can play together. Okay.. then proceeds to ghost me while they play fucking D&D $800 wasted

Yes i have the latest version of the nvidia geforce game ready driver, but when i right click on my desktop it only shows intel graphics settings and not Nvidia control panel in the drop down menu

Maybe I'll just learn to play the lute instead but it's just not the same :(

You are living every normies dream. People work their ass off their entire lives just to be able to NEET it in retirement with much less savings a month than you get. How'd you even get that kinda NEETbux?

are you sure its in the PCIe port completely? like does it light up and all of that? also post pics from device manager

SSI Disability check.

Girls I'll never sleep with, like usual.

In particular, girls I used to think I had a shot with, tried courting but never really got around to making a move on. Been in contact with a few of them recently. Two of them at least consider me a friend, seeing Triple Frontier with one of them tomorrow. She's thicc as shit and likes joking about sex with me since she knoes I'm a virgin and I get incredibly frustrated by it. Gives me something to jerk off to when I get home though.

Holy shit this is me. Canada?

genuinely me

talking to her right now

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I hate college so fucking much
I wanna die

My hatred for myself and how I will never be truly loved and will die alone, like normal

I only get four days of not leaving my room for spring break. I miss being a NEET.

I don't know why, but I keep having extremely vivid dreams where I have a friend from Finland and all we ever do is just hang out, and he's the closest thing I've ever had to a brother. I genuinely feel amazing just chilling with my Finnish friend but then I'll wake up and feel like shit.
This dream has been recurring for the past 3 days and I always feel like complete shit upon waking up and realizing Finnish friend isn't real. I hate it.

I turn 25 on Saturday, and it feels like the beginning of a long decline. I'm settling into the working phase of my life. I've been single for 3 years, and I'm so lonely I thought I'd hire a prostitute. But I'm afraid of that level of intimacy so instead I'm seeing a professional cuddler. It's pathetic but also I'm kind of looking forward to it.

>tfw the person who hates me with a passion starts talking to my best friend
>been really infamous for making creepy advances towards people
>never changed at all from the time i knew her
>also massive lesbian
she's the literal incarnation of the worst parts of tumblr and fembots and i fear for my friend's life what do

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Does anyone else just feel sad when watching porn? When I want to masturbate I'll try watching porn and then I'll start thinking about how great it would be to have sex with a girl who's really into it and sexually attracted to me. Then I think about how I'll never ever get do that and a powerful sadness washes over me. It's even worse if a guy in the video has an intact cock because then I think about how I'm watching him experience a pleasure that I'll never experience no matter what. This is pretty much pushing me away from porn, maybe it'll suffocate my sex drive as well. I don't know if that's a good thing or not because I barely ever get the chance to wank anyway. Maybe I'd stop being so bitter about it all if I just stopped wanting it. Know that I think about it it's actually starting to look like there are much more pros than there are cons. God my life is a joke.

Heard this song on the radio driving home from work today. Feel optimistic that I'm probably not going to have an 'accident' and lose my feet or something.
Life is good.
m.youtube.com/watch?v=U8uoMjck2_E

discord
===========
.gg/ZSxxyzB
If you're a loser that fits in nowhere else, join this shit.
r

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Chronic masturbator here
Porn is posion for you body and mind bro
Sex life is not like porn

Also a lonely fuck as well, got alienated for the porn I watch almost everyday, feeling really depressed about how undesirable I am.
Although that is true, there are more reasons to it, porn just adds more wood to the fire.

Wank to your thoughts of girls you want to fuck or girls you like, use your imagination, not porn.
At least it will help with that issue.

Thass a pretty cool sound
I want to learn to play like this motherfucker

m.youtube.com/watch?v=TvakGezqW-A

I wanna cut myself
I hate relationships where its uncommunicative
I think I would rather just be alone then wait all day to get a fucking text back

I've been extremely stressed recently and I just got pissed as fuck because one of the washers I was using didn't do the spin cycle and left me with sopping wet clothes.
one of my friends was also being an annoying bitch so now I went from having an okay night to having a shitty one, I'm going to drink beers and smoke and pass out to feel less