/r9gay/ - #637

Morning fellow robots, how are you doing this fine morning!

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poor unclaimed orphan user

Shoot me for what? You're the one trying to redeem an expired coupon user. No more replies to that other user, you have to go now. Your coupon is expired!

more like evening I'm good tho what are you up to user, do you have work or school?

There is some butt
Would be more if i had a bf to lift with!

I'll just samefag and pretend I'm someone else to trick you and him haha!

>Hit 30-something
>Finally making decent money
>Had a house, sold a house
>Going to lease apartment
>Landlord slides me application
>"So what are you looking for?"
>1 Bedroom plz
>"Oh do you have anyone living with you?"
>I guess if I had someone there'd be a reason to get something bigger

Wondering if I should start accepting applications for a live-in boywife.

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yeah squats can make a huge difference, if you went to my uni we could lift together

If only
Chances are you're other side of the globe kek

Being a good old boomer, work work.

Anyone else gave up on trying to be normal and trying to find a bf? I cant even force myself to do anything anymore.

I'm gonna start swimming at the pool at my uni to shape up and perfect my femboy look. Still need to do squats sometime.

We'll get there eventually

This except I'm not a bottom

not in the US?
based 30 year old wagie
stick with it anone what else is there to do?

I am in the US
Even then I'm like in the northwest region so, yeh

Doing nothing is much easier, if it wasnt for loneliness i wouldnt even think about humans.

reminder for discord-fags to neck themselves at earliest opportunity

>tfw did not get my power bottom bf coupon
Wtf I want him now!

Looking cute today, user

I'm in Colorado, not quite across the globe lol
you'd rather be depressed all the time than risk being disappointed?

Im depressed no matter what, if i wasnt then i wouldnt have such problems.

yuke strikes again
youtu.be/hl_sGMxH-k0

I wanna bash my skull into a wall so hard i give myself enough brain damage to be just aware enough of things to be happy but unaware enough to really think or feel sadness or have coherant thoughts

this nigga cute I want to beat him up

discord
===========
.gg/ZSxxyzB
If you're a loser that fits in nowhere else, join this shit.
aq

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>tfw no bf to unironically watch family guy with

>tfw no bf that wants to unironically watch family guy

>tfw no bf that unironically will watch family guy with me

you alright there big guy? btw family guy is commie propaganda so don't watch it

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why is that furry girl wearing pauldrons?

what the heck is a pauldron?

shoulder armor. you've never played a fantasy game?

no im not a nerd coincidentally

>tfw no bf that I can watch family guy with unironically

yes it's very funny that i made a family guy post, but much like any family guy gag you've gone on for too long and now it lost the slight humor it had.

>jerked off so much my dick hurts

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Have somebody kiss it until it gets better user

>tfw no furry uprising in the streets to gun down

What did you jerk it to? Nothing furry I hope.

corrective rape (forced envelopment) for gays?

It is unlikely that you can find enough cute twinks to make it work.

I just jerked off and did a big cum on my tummy but my pp is still hard. What should I do?

tfw no /x/ bf
originolli originolli whats in the pocketolli

/x/ bfs are a hebrew trick

Jerk off again user, that might help

sorry i dont want an /x/ AND Jow Forums bf

Jow Forums bf doesn't exist, or is extremely closeted and horny

i have mickey mouse waffles and i'm gonna eat theme while practicing fighting game combos

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how did you cook them? microwave or toaster?

toaster, microwave makes them too soft

a man after my own heart
the things that aren't original surprise me

Anybody else like traps just because gay girly guys are usually really kinky and degenerate?
I just want one to throw me into whatever weird shit he likes and see if I like it too.

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>have strong feelings towards my close friend
>he's straight and doesn't find me attractive in the slightest

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>Big and strong archetype
>r9kgay trying to convince me I should be small and skinny

Thanks...

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He's totally missing out then, cutie.

don't fall for it user, someone needs to be the one lifting all us twinks up onto the bed and giving us a hard spanking

deadly homosexuality?
all I see look weak and unfit for harsh conditions. natural selection?

aloof, nearly wizard if not for me, fwb is likely moving out of state. How do I get herpes-free bf?

the second person with HIV has been cured, your argument is losing ground

No, slim is most survivable. Can move and obtain food with minimal energy expenditure.

>tripfag
>degenerate slut with a fwb
bye

That sounds like it would be a lot of fun! I'll consider it.

No, you should get a small and skinny bf you can be strong for.

>tfw no video gayming nerd bf to hold on my lap while he plays his games

user how the fuck did you hit the other side of my biggest dream so casually?

>tfw found someone i really, really like
>think he likes me too
>feel excited and get butterflies in my stomach when i think about him
Is this what being happy and hopeful feels like?

I hope you see this and recognize me desu

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That's gay, but i hope things work out for you, good luck

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Thanks mate, I hope so too. Wish you the best of luck as well, with whatever it might be

>tfw hoping somebody feels this way about me
>tfw the guy I felt like this towards doesn't seem to feel the same towards me
Regardless, good luck to you and your potential bf user

>Dear mr. user, I write you on behalf of the federal free bf program. We are sorry to inform you that until this morning your application was delayed in processing. We must also inform you that your application stands to expire within 24h. We were not able to find you a perfect bf. Our closest and only match is however 100% compatible with your personality and other emotional preferences. Yet we are unable to confirm his physical compability. Please let us as known at your earliest convenience whether you wish to accept your match. (Please be aware a new application will have to go through our currently 15 years and 244 days long wait list)
>attached is a picture of your match

What do you do?

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>tfw no roguelike playing bf

i would write back, as prompt as one could be:
>To whom it may concern -
>I appreciate your haste in addressing the matter of my application and its delay, and I must make it clear that I offer you the greatest of thanks for your action to bring this matter to a happy, fruitful close. Unfortunately, I must relay to you the unpleasant truth that I cannot accept the match you presented in our previous correspondence, for in God's honest truth sir, I would rather set to fire the very residence I write to you from now. I mean no offense to you, as I know fully well and good that you had no way to predict my response, but I must cut clear to the issue at hand - I would never allow myself to stoop so low that I become courtship to a mere beast. Nay, I daresay it was a grave error to have ever penned the order of release that freed all slaves.
>Truly grateful on behalf of your efforts,
>Best wishes to you and yours. May God lead you and keep you safe in troubling times. >~Anonymous

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i want to be fucked by bel gris so bad it's not fair

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Hey, I used to play roguelikes some time back!
You better mean real roguelikes and not what normals think passes for a rougelike

>Ashley poster implying that anyone is lower than them
what a coincidence i was gonna use Bel Gris as an OP image but i the only pictures i have of him have his dick out and i didn't feel like cropping any

I want to feel what thats like someday, good luck user!

Is cataclysm dark days ahead a roguelike? I played a bit of elona too but it was kind of boring.

if you're trying to say something, all i heard was "ashley is a goddess, would waifu for laifu" i can't hear you, speak up

don't gatekeep user, if he's a casual first you gotta show him your dick, then when he likes the dick go show him the deeper cuts of the roguelike genre. don't cockblock yourself with elitism, there's REAL booty out there to plunder

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>been making pancakes for my brother for a week now
>still can't flip them properly
they keep landing on the edge of the pan

Nylon feels awful to touch.

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i bet the nylon you're wearing feel nice as i run my hands up them

I used to play mostly DC:SS and Poschengband. That one was a lot of fun, too bad it's dead now.

It's not a matter of gatekeeping but of genre definition.

i literally have 0 standards and evrryone ive ever talked to from here doesnt want me. prove me wrong. protip you cant

>DC:SS and Poschengband
Never heard of these
My standards are close to 0 but honestly there is no point in any kind of relationships above friends if youre not trying to at least meet irl.

where are you running them?

Huh, Dungeon Crawl: Stone Soup is definitely one of the bigger ones and it's easy to get into, I'm surprised you haven't heard of it. Poschengband, on the other hand, was kinda obscure.

Lots of subs would be down for that, but beware subs are always whores.
Where you at, homeboy?

>Dungeon Crawl: Stone Soup
Looks similar to nethack

Hope you like ed, bro.

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Do something else, read something or play a game. You can jerk off more later.

Don't be friends with them, it won't end well.