I got into one of the top 25 universities in the US during highschool and I currently attend there. When I applied...

I got into one of the top 25 universities in the US during highschool and I currently attend there. When I applied, I wanted to be a CS major, but I couldn't because my GPA wasn't high enough for the first 3 semesters I attended uni. I was forced to become a math major instead. I hate it and I'm bad at it. My GPA is currently 2.2 and it would be worse were it not for non math classes which I do well in with minimal effort. If I can't maintain a 2.0 minimum, I'll be put on academic probation and I'll probably be expelled. I was good at math throughout middle and highschool; however, college math is a different beast. All my acquaintances graduated June last year. My only real college friend only needed 1 attempt to become a CS major and he got in. He now has a comfy game dev job at Amazon. I'm currently taking a gap year and I'm not set to graduate until 2021. I honestly believe that if I "applied myself", I could do well as a math major. Hell fuck that, I could probably self teach CS (I have experience from highschool and the 1st 3 semesters of college), and get a software deb job. The thing is I haven't worked hard or passionately at anything since the 6th grade. I've been depressed for that long and I tried to kill myself in the 9th grade. I also changed schools that year and the vast majority (min 85%) of my friends who attended my old school have graduated ivy league universities. I look at their linkedin and facebook pages and see Yale, U Penn, Harvard, Brown, etc. I got rejected from every ivy I applied to. The uni I currently attend is still pretty prestigious, but I really wanted to attend MIT.

Attached: Cry.png (365x378, 9K)

(cont.)

I'm a failure.
I peaked in middle school.
Because of my depression, I lack the passion or motivation to work hard or better my situation.

When I eventually finish college, I'm not even sure if I will get a proper job because my GPA is so low and I haven't had a single internship.

After I'm done with college, I'm going to buy a gun and shoot myself in the head because I don't think my life will get any better. I'm 23 years old, I have no friends, my family disrespects constantly me for taking a gap year, for being unable to find a job, and for doing so poorly in school. I'm a kissless virgin, and my life is practically over.

In reality, it's been over for a long time, I'm just willing to admit that now.

Before I pull the trigger 2 years from now, I'll probably write a suicide note that is like this but more detailed.

Thanks for listening.

>attending top 25 university
>can't find the fucking enter key

That's what you get for jerking off to your trannyshit professors all the time.

What did you ever actually want to do with your damn life? Just be the same as everyone else? Well you failed at that, you can't compete. What's the point in crying about it, just let it go.

I'm not going to read all this but am I right in assuming that you'd literally rather kill yourself than transfer to a less prestigious university to pursue a career you don't hate? You've got some fucked up priorities, dude.

trying actually reading the post. he doesn't want to leave because nobody else will feed the wild racoons.

Shut the fuck up gayass. Quit being a underaged fuck and go take your math test instead of skipping high school.

Ah shit I got this guy all wrong. You're okay in my book, OP.

My initial plan was to graduate from a good university with a 6 figure comfy CS job at google or apple. Every-time I compare myself to my peers (or my family does it for me), I come up short and it kills me inside. I'm a failure. By now I should have been living a comfy life in Silicon Valley or Seattle working at Google. But here I am, shitposting at 3 AM on r9k. Things weren't supposed to turn out like this man. I was "the smart one" in my family.

>feed the wild racoons
What does that even mean