I got into one of the top 25 universities in the US during highschool and I currently attend there. When I applied, I wanted to be a CS major, but I couldn't because my GPA wasn't high enough for the first 3 semesters I attended uni. I was forced to become a math major instead. I hate it and I'm bad at it. My GPA is currently 2.2 and it would be worse were it not for non math classes which I do well in with minimal effort. If I can't maintain a 2.0 minimum, I'll be put on academic probation and I'll probably be expelled. I was good at math throughout middle and highschool; however, college math is a different beast. All my acquaintances graduated June last year. My only real college friend only needed 1 attempt to become a CS major and he got in. He now has a comfy game dev job at Amazon. I'm currently taking a gap year and I'm not set to graduate until 2021. I honestly believe that if I "applied myself", I could do well as a math major. Hell fuck that, I could probably self teach CS (I have experience from highschool and the 1st 3 semesters of college), and get a software deb job. The thing is I haven't worked hard or passionately at anything since the 6th grade. I've been depressed for that long and I tried to kill myself in the 9th grade. I also changed schools that year and the vast majority (min 85%) of my friends who attended my old school have graduated ivy league universities. I look at their linkedin and facebook pages and see Yale, U Penn, Harvard, Brown, etc. I got rejected from every ivy I applied to. The uni I currently attend is still pretty prestigious, but I really wanted to attend MIT.
I got into one of the top 25 universities in the US during highschool and I currently attend there. When I applied...
(cont.)
I'm a failure.
I peaked in middle school.
Because of my depression, I lack the passion or motivation to work hard or better my situation.
When I eventually finish college, I'm not even sure if I will get a proper job because my GPA is so low and I haven't had a single internship.
After I'm done with college, I'm going to buy a gun and shoot myself in the head because I don't think my life will get any better. I'm 23 years old, I have no friends, my family disrespects constantly me for taking a gap year, for being unable to find a job, and for doing so poorly in school. I'm a kissless virgin, and my life is practically over.
In reality, it's been over for a long time, I'm just willing to admit that now.
Before I pull the trigger 2 years from now, I'll probably write a suicide note that is like this but more detailed.
Thanks for listening.
>attending top 25 university
>can't find the fucking enter key
That's what you get for jerking off to your trannyshit professors all the time.
What did you ever actually want to do with your damn life? Just be the same as everyone else? Well you failed at that, you can't compete. What's the point in crying about it, just let it go.
I'm not going to read all this but am I right in assuming that you'd literally rather kill yourself than transfer to a less prestigious university to pursue a career you don't hate? You've got some fucked up priorities, dude.
trying actually reading the post. he doesn't want to leave because nobody else will feed the wild racoons.
Shut the fuck up gayass. Quit being a underaged fuck and go take your math test instead of skipping high school.
Ah shit I got this guy all wrong. You're okay in my book, OP.
My initial plan was to graduate from a good university with a 6 figure comfy CS job at google or apple. Every-time I compare myself to my peers (or my family does it for me), I come up short and it kills me inside. I'm a failure. By now I should have been living a comfy life in Silicon Valley or Seattle working at Google. But here I am, shitposting at 3 AM on r9k. Things weren't supposed to turn out like this man. I was "the smart one" in my family.
>feed the wild racoons
What does that even mean
Alright, I'll give you some advice. You just had your first brush with reality. A lot of things in life won't turn out the way you think they are supposed to. Also, let's say you got that comfy job in Silicon Valley, do you think you would have stopped comparing yourself to anyone then? No, then you'd be comparing yourself to people who were younger than you when they were startup founders and became billionaires. You'd be obsessing over people starting companies, getting funding, getting bought out, traveling the world while you're stuck in your cubicle, etc. Comparison doesn't end.
>Comparison doesn't end
actually, it does
I kind of understand that. That is why my other plan was to cut contact with my family. I have already cut contact with all of my friends (I never had many so it wasn't too hard). Truth be told, I'm a simple man. I just want to live in a comfy apartment with a nice gaming PC and eat tasty food and workout everyday and watch anime. I don't even mind remaining a kv for the rest of my life; I tried to fuck girls in college but I failed at that too. One girl I talked to accused me of inappropriately touching her and because of that I got in trouble with the school justice system. I've given up on women; they are evil to their core. A lot of my comparison issues come from my family imposing their expectations on me. I can't live like this, so I will escape them. But I need money. That's why I wanted that comfy CS job, I need the money to be free from them. But none of it is going according to plan man. I'm a loser, garbage. I don't know how much money I need to live a comfy life as a single man, but I know if I worked at google I could afford it.
I don't see why you couldn't live like that with practically any job, you definitely don't need to work at Google
I don't think I could live like that slaving 8-12 hours a day at a minimum wage job. My dad is an immigrant from Nigeria and he works 2 or 3 jobs and tried his best to put me through college to avoid his fate.
I'm a failure man; I've let everyone down. I've let myself down.
Well he was providing for you and the rest of your family I assume, I assure you that as a single man you need very little money to live well
I feel like this story is all made up. An American would never refer to college as "uni."
You've clearly never been to Michigan.
That....that's true. He also sent me, my brother, and my sister through private school.
This is ultimately all speculation. I want to be able to afford a top end gaming pc, tasty food everyday, live in a good neighborhood (I grew up in the ghetto and no thnx), buy all the steam games I want, afford a gym membership, a car, etc. Also I need to pay off my loans with will probably amount to 25k when I'm done with school. All this shit sounds expensive.
I've been browsing Jow Forums since highschool and I see other people refer to it as uni so I do the same. Maybe it's because I browse during Euro hours (currently 3:58 AM where I am). I literally have no social life or friends outside of Jow Forums.
Hi user, are you still here?
I go to the same university as you, and I am actually in a very similar position as you are
I'm still here.
>I go to the same university as you, and I am actually in a very similar position as you are
Holy shit, I'll be discovered.
To make sure, what uni do I go to
Well you should add it all up in a spreadsheet and calculate how much you think you'll need to make
>To make sure, what uni do I go to
99% sure you go to UC Berkeley
don't worry, I have no fucking clue who you are, I didn't talk to anyone in the three years I was there before leaving
Seven thirty seven.
I go to USC
Imagine wanting to work at Jewgle LOL
oh, nevermind then
Are you still in LA?
We have a lot in common
I didn't know USC also had a gpa requirement for CS majors
Imagine not wanting to spy on people and be responsible for unleashing a man-made god. LOL
Yeah image working for a fortune 100 company that has extremely high salaries, free gourmet breakfast, lunch, and dinner, stock in one of the most succesful companies in the past decade, free fitness and gym classes, company with some of the top minds in the world...
Who would want that. haha
haha
I'm returning to LA next semester. I had to take a gap year for personal reasons.
>be English
>no gpa score maintenance shit, just exam result qualifications that trade into uni currency
>can take extra college courses if you need more uni points to get in
>can get a government loan to pay for it, no questions asked
>don't have to pay for it unless earning above a certain amount per year, only have to pay a scaling percentage
>debt eventually clears anyway
>get stabbed by some mudslime before you finish anyway
I really feel bad for those poor saps in the States
Pivot to the trades.
post contact OP
lemme tell you my life story
My discord is AllIKnowIsPain#4967
PM me your UC Berkley ID (black out your name/id #) so I know it's you and not some larper
there are people i met on this board that got a job in I.T without even graduating highschool or going to uni.
I don't know if thats true but it happens if you really know your stuff.
>muh GPA is low
Jesus I'm glad I don't live in the US and don'thave to worry about this crap
>Girth of Penis Attained
actually, it's a concern for men everywhere.
Do they not have grades in Europe?
alright I've added you usc user
similar boat, was bred to be Princeton tier til I got depression attempted suicide and then no school wanted anything to do with me in case I brought em bad press.
To be truthful though college really doesn't matter that much. What matters is what you do with your entire life, not just your immediate one. Being at a lower (still great) tier school and just being an honors kid instead of being an average kid at a high tier school has given me the time and spot to get the resources I want, and while I may be at a lower spot atm, I'm shooting for the kind of career & life that they would never have had the balls to chase (and I wouldn't either had I had anything to lose).
Yes we do but nobody cares about that. You can join any uni at your own risk. If you're a brainlet and want to go to a prestigious uni you can do that. Again, it's at your own risk.
be me
15
dad tells me to kill myself
forget it, appened in 2018
remember it in 2019
i stopped feeling emotions, i know i wont be like him, he is an engineer, he was the second best on his class, even if he had me, i remember when he said "i am never going to leave you" and now he tells me the history of how i i didnt got born he would have been the best engineer gaining dollars in Venezuela, like his friend did, and then he enters on a fight with mom, i go to close their door after mom leaves and he says "i am going to leave you", i am still waiting, but i dont know how to do shit because i dont like math, computer shit, etc, he tells me i am useless and often compares me to those guys on the street dancing or doing trics, i am only 15 dad, pls stop.
Parents really know how to fuck up your self esteem.
I've never thought about it like that.
Oregano
>I'm a failure.
Yes you're a failed normie. Now get off my board
Start small, guy.
Mark a priority and fucking tackle that bitch. Do stuff one step at a time.
also has a good idea, just don't do everything at once or you'll be discouraged
>Normie
I had no friends throughout middleschool and highschool, just acquaintances. I rarely went outside; I just played flash games on the internet for fun and f2p games like GunZ. During college, I only had 1 real friend and he graduated. I'm a kissless virgin despite trying with a decent amount of girls.
What about this screams "normie" to you?
Transfer to a state university you fucking crybaby.
Its literally that simple
Enjoy your debt because youre too stuck in the high school mindset of competing over words on a sheet of paper, fag
>i was supposed to work at google or apple
Basic bitch of the high school nerds.
Go to your state U dumbfuck.
I can confirm all of this. My buddy who finished with a 3.95 in our engineering program at U of Oklahoma moved to San Jose and said he felt like the dumbest person in every room. Its insane how alpha everyone there is
OP youre just cut from a more average cloth than you thought. Accept it, become a buddhist, and transfer to a state univeristy for fucks sake
>CS too hard
>becomes a math major
wtf
nah im an american loser who spends all my time on discord talking to bongs and i say uni inadvertently