Where do you even meet girls after you missed the opportunity at school/university?

Reddit is down the hall and left Chad

Ching chang chong, Im kim jong un, got a mushroom cloud for youuuuuuuuuu

If you decide to appear approachable it's not creepy

t...thanks for mistaking me for a chad... is that... is that what I say?

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I knew a friend who met a girl playing League of legends who he married and he was near 30 at the time. The girl was from South America. There is some hope if you don't give up.

two main ways: friends of friends when you go out, or meeting strangers when you go out. but seeing as you're not good looking enough for online dating, i'd stick with friends of friends.

>just appear approachable

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what if l don't have friends?

Good excuse to make some, in'it?

I hate all this shit

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but l don't know how

All of it, every single one? For real!? I bet you haven't tried half of it, let alone have enough first hand experience to say that you definitively detest it.

Good excuse to learn how, in'it?

I just wanna exterminate all normies, not be forced to do their retarded boring shit

Which activities specifically are retarded and boring? Under what circumstances did you try them?
What would you say to the poor man's freudian arguments of normies that it reflects your own self-hatred and you're projecting that onto normie activities?
Why is it NOT because you feel you're exuded from them so you need to demonize and call them "boring" and "retarded" to allay your own feelings after-the-fact?

tl;dr

kys retard

Simple questions too confronting for you?

Who the fuck needs contiki when it's cheaper to go places without it? What is it even for?

JUST TRAVEL BRO GO TO CONNECT AND HAVE SOME FUN AND YOU WILL FIND A GIRL MAN I TELL YOU

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Primarily laziness and simplicity - you don't need to organize transfers and transport - and the fact that if you're going "alone" it still means you have a group of peers to go with.

If you have to ask, then you're probably not the market for it.

And when did you try it? Or does your entire knowledge of the world come from glib memes? the two times I went overseas were the only times I wasn't depressed.

And what about the other 10 suggestions?
Or are you just going for efficient straw men?

I'm not him but I took 3D art classes and they're boring as shit, messy, and don't satisfy my imagination like drawing would. Dancing is fucking gay if you aren't an ultrachad and I'm a hideous cretin who would get kicked out for staring at the girls. Art galleries are okay if they aren't statues of dicks and period blood canvas but I'd rather just look at pictures online with decent resolution. Live music is terrible and is typically in shitty genres I don't enjoy, but even live jazz is pretty hit or miss. I don't drink because alcohol is dumb and gross so bars and clubs are out. What's the point of a party with more than 4 or 5 people? I'd rather just spend time with a close group of friends at one of our homes. I've never seen anyone on all of the bus rides who was approachable except this 400 pound black lady who talked to me for 30 minutes about things I don't care about. Contiki sounds gay as shit, I'd rather just backpack on my own if I even bothered traveling. Community theater is the same as dancing; if you aren't Chad you aren't allowed. Volunteering? I've applied to 20 different places and they wouldn't accept my voluntary LABOR. It's just as bad as getting a job and you need references and experience to clean up dog shit or pick up trash or hand out blankets to hobos.

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Hey if those things aren't for you (with the exception of like, the volunteer places you were not accepted for. Fuck them!), fair enough. I do think some of your answers are cop-outs, but also I don't know you personally and I will take you at your word they are true for you.

I do wonder though - do you expect to meet girls unless you try with those things? (not a "gotcha" question btw.).

Everything said is right. It has to basically be at a social gathering where people are ok with strangers coming up and saying something. So; fun elective classes, concerts (doesnt have to be anything crazy, just find an artist you enjoy and go see them. You'll be in a sea of people who love the same music as you), community events like airshows or charity events.

I would also add to that list conventions. There are many types of conventions (like car and airshows) so it doesnt have to just be anime or comic books. but those are the easiest place to meet nerds looking for new friends. You have to think of hobbies. People are social with their hobbies. So if theres a public hobby event thats in relation to something you might like, then go on and attend.

The worst places to talk to women are pretty much anywhere else. Supermarkets, parks, places like that. These are places women are most often kidnapped from so it makes sense that they pretty much run away from you on sight. Stick to social gatherings or learning environments only.

Holy fuck that asian guy looks like me

I don't really expect girls, not really. The only concerts I might try going to are classical/jazz recitals at the college. I appreciate your list because maybe some user might like one of those things but I'm just hopeless. I can't make myself enjoy things and don't want to fake my personality and have it fall apart if some girl actually liked me. Isn't that the whole "be yourself" advice I hear so much? Being myself gets me nasty looks and kicked out of venues. I go to a mental health group, not exactly therapy but similar, and there's girls there but they're all 45 years old+ and I'm 24. I actually had 2 cat ladies take me to their apartment and we just listened to Depeche Mode and talked about politics. One had an autistic son my age and I never went back to her after she told me that, and the other was chain-smoking bipolar who picked up stray cats and stray men, if you know what I mean. And online dating, I only matched with an arab girl with cerebral palsy who ran away from her group home to make accounts in a public library. I've just given up at this point since the only girl that would accept me is the kind who would leave me as soon as they stopped taking medications.

Why is there always this one "helpful" faggot that comes and when you tell him hes wrong he starts insulting people.

>Isn't that the whole "be yourself" advice I hear so much? Being myself gets me nasty looks and kicked out of venues.
"Be yourself" is a total fucking lie, we're in agreement. I could go full multi-post thesis right now, but I won't.

>cats and stray men, if you know what I mean.
kek

> I've just given up at this point since the only girl that would accept me is the kind who would leave me as soon as they stopped taking medications.
That's rough user, but you know you just gotta pick yourself up, I'm sure there's a cute stacy that digs different...(puking sound) but seriously, I'm sorry user, I know how lonely it can be and how by no fault of your own you feel like you and society are oil and water. And I won't give you the false hope of a glib solution without even beginning to know you better.

Sometimes I wonder "girls make a lot of mistakes, so why should I be one of 'em?"

How was I wrong and where did I initiate the insults?

>Pottery classes, dancing classes, art gallery show openings, free concerts/festivals, bars and pubs, waiting in line to go to a nightclub (I hate nightclubs but ppl do this and make friends), parties and other friendly gatherings, public transport (especially waiting for it, or on trains), Contiki tours or other international traveling with strangers, community theater, communal volunteer work.
Wtf is this? We don't live in Manhattan nigga i don't have any of those except seedy bars

How many have you actively looked for?

>thinking the dude who only manages to cuck a bf back home on the last night of the contiki tour is chad
You have much to learn about the nature of Chad, young robot. Not to mention a lot to learn about contiki tours.

How do I learn how to make friends? Is there a book or a course or a program that you could direct me to?

The problem is in my expectations. I could find a homeless girl who will let me have her body when she's on a meth binge but then rob me blind. I might find a 55 year old cat lady with histrionic personality disorder but she'd stab me in my sleep or call the cops after bruising herself. I just have to accept a lifetime of being alone or scraping the bottom of society's barrel, which is okay because I'm bottom of the barrel. Men aren't supposed to play JRPGs, collect fingernails and hairballs, and write erotic stories of girls they knew 12 years ago and old school friends. It makes sense the only women "attracted" to me are my equivalent.

what is the point of meeting random girls who live half the country away on expensive trips we're talking about getting a gf

if u need to travel just take a trip to Asia then and you will get a ton of qts

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I couldn't direct you to a one-stop-shop since i had to learn this stuff the hard way.
Also what do you think your problem is? Can you read non-verbal communication okay? Are you just shy and don't go out? Or are you an autismo?

>It makes sense the only women "attracted" to me are my equivalent.

How are you their equivalent? Aside form being 'odd' ... I don't know who you are and thus how you parallel these particular types of women?

I know some people who started long distance relationships, one even got married after a meeting on a contiki.

>if u need to travel just take a trip to Asia then and you will get a ton of qts
It's not always about fucking, but if that's your priority, then go.

Honestly, I can't figure it out. I'm not an autist, I'm fine (if a little slow) at non-verbal communication (but I'm improving), I get out a lot (this year I've signed up to a shit-ton of activities), and I'm not even shy (deliberately burned that out of myself years ago as part of my adulthood-long abortive campaign to become more socially adept). None of it ever seems to go anywhere though, you know? Like, I'll go to a dancing lesson or a social soccer game or whatever, I'll get along fine with everyone, and then I just...go home? The interaction never seems to escalate beyond very distant acquaintance. Despite doing all this shit, I still find myself with a shit ton of free (empty) time all the time. My weekends are basically always barren. I've got some friends, but they're even worse shut-ins than me.

What I think will help is a fuckton of practice at doing social interaction. I've got tons of free time, a decent wad of cash, and literally no other self-improvement tasks other than 'social skills' pending.

I'd love to just go out into the street every day and to bars every night (sober) and practice having conversations with / making deeper connections with / trying to have/make fun with everyone I can to gain social experience. But I can't seem to bring myself to do it. I feel like I don't have a plan, like I'll just go out there and never talk to anyone (as per usual) and the day/night will be wasted. I also, weirdly, feel like I don't have...permission, would be the word, I guess? Like won't it be intolerably weird for someone to go out alone and try to strike up conversations with people? Isn't it intrusive to go up to established friend groups at a bar or whatever and try to 'hang'?

Developing the ability to mingle and make friends (and also get laid reliably) is the actual last thing on my self-improvement to-do list. I tore through everything else. Despite unlimited resources, I just can't seem to bring myself to get started on this one.

Firstly you've done a good job of actually making a decision to fix your problems and going through that list. I respect that.
What sort of conversations do you have with people at these soccer games and stuff?

>But I can't seem to bring myself to do it. I feel like I don't have a plan, like I'll just go out there and never talk to anyone (as per usual) and the day/night will be wasted. I also, weirdly, feel like I don't have...permission, would be the word, I guess? Like won't it be intolerably weird for someone to go out alone and try to strike up conversations with people? Isn't it intrusive to go up to established friend groups at a bar or whatever and try to 'hang'?
Wow, this part really hits close to home.

But going back to the classes and social sports games... did you ever make plans to meet up again? Specifically did you ever initiate and be the one to suggest anything - a movie, a coffee, group trip to the museum... anything that could be a social venture?
The reason I say that is I'm finding more and more (and maybe I'm just a cyborg) that I have to be the one to initiate to do social things. Like people DO want to hang out with me, but it's just I don't send them a message.
So often when I hear about people complain about barren social lives my knee-jerk reaction is "start shooting off 'what are you doing Friday?' messages"

>Firstly you've done a good job of actually making a decision to fix your problems and going through that list. I respect that.
Thanks, that means a lot to me right now. I'm getting myself kind of worked up about this social gains project, I don't really have anywhere I can go to talk about it other than here, and this place is ridiculously negative. It's really nice to hear encouraging words.

>What sort of conversations do you have with people at these soccer games and stuff?
Just small talk. "What do you do for a living?", "Did you see that ludicrous display last night?", "How was your week?", that sort of thing. I test the waters with a "Got any plans for the weekend?" But it's either "Nope" or something that isn't open for invites.

>Specifically did you ever initiate and be the one to suggest anything - a movie, a coffee, group trip to the museum... anything that could be a social venture?
That's a part of the issue, I'd wager. Having never really had a social life, I don't know how to invite people to things, or even what to invite them to. It feels weird to invite people to a bar, considering that I barely set foot in them myself. I don't really know what kind of events are going on in the city. I've been trying to look up 'what's on' type publications/sites, but after 2 websites it all just kind of blurs into an indistinguishable mess of 'here's a list of bars where you can pay too much money to drink with lawyers', milquetoast non-events and 'family fun days'. I'm sure there are all sorts of 'cool' events going on, but it's got me fucked how you find them.

>I have to be the one to initiate to do social things. Like people DO want to hang out with me, but it's just I don't send them a message.
I get that, it's a good point. After all, I'm not really interested in reaching 'normie' levels of social skill - I want to develop top-tier social skills.

>But it's either "Nope" or something that isn't open for invites.
Because the secret to inviting people out (and this is also VERY relevant to dates) is you need a common interest.
Liking the same band, all wanting to go hiking, all wanting to try roller skating etc. etc. There has to be an activity that brings people together. Now I don't know how deep you dig with your small talk, but when I'm at a party I tend to scratch deep below the surface - what are their hobbies, how did they come into being an architect or a lawyer, or why did they choose to study literature or psych... "go for where the passion is". Watch their eyes, see that little twinkle when you ask them that thing they want to start gushing about. Suddenly they're telling you about how when they were 7 they and all their friends mimed to the backstreet boys for a school performance, they were 'obsessed'.
On some people it is like getting blood from a stone, it is really fucking difficult, and even the most extroverted people will struggle with them. But it's a learning process, and you can't judge yourself too harshly because then you'll just give up and then you'll just feel terrible.

As for what's on what about food festivals, film festivals, new stores...? is there a Zara or a DAISO opening up - I know it sounds trite, but to some people that shit is exotic. Outdoor concerts. pop-up restaurants...?
I realize that if you live in a small town there's a lot less going on, but even then the nearest capitol or bigger city should have stuff.

>After all, I'm not really interested in reaching 'normie' levels of social skill - I want to develop top-tier social skills.
Got to walk before you can run. And to be honest I'm not the right person to talk to for 'top-tier', I'm not there myself and I don't know where you could learn how to except for constant practice and improvement.