What's something about you that nobody will believe?

that's not murder you fool

I'm a leaf. it's a lot harder to pull "self defence" defence up here.

nigga that's clearly self defense you did the right thing

Your turn, bruh.

Part of me thinks maybe I should have tried to help him. But I could literally see the needle holes in his arms and I didn't want to save the guy who tried to rob or kill me just to have him kill me slowly over the next decade.

I am an enlightened being with mystical powers and ive won the lottery multiple times by willing it in my favor due to being one with the world

I can understand that. I'd probably wonder what I could have done better in the event that I'd need to defend myself with deadly force.

i have schizophrenia. no im not self-diagnosed

I'm retired because I have a net worth of about $3 million US.
Self-made, not inherited.

any general advice you dont mind sharing? aside from spending consciously

I've slept with around 100 women.
I stopped counting at 75 back in 2008 I think it was.

That's rad. How many times did you catch the clap?

I saw a band live at a house party before they became famous. Everyone I tell just thinks I am a living hipster.

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I am a 5'8" hapa and I have been asked out by three different girls. I married the last one and we have two kids.

Nah man, people like that that would kill someone just so they can get another fix and never ever lose a single wink of sleep are worthless. They're also largely irredeemable. Killing him is 110% morally the correct move.

I bet just about everyone I know would be shocked to learn that I masturbate to diaper fetish porn every night

I stole 57k eur when I was 19 in the course of 2 days, currently 24. And no never tried it again

could have fucked a 15yo when 11-12 in elementary.
was also cock blocking myself so much

alright, my dudes
>be me, about 7
>sister is 3ish at the time
>discover porn through internet porn games
>probably gave my father's computer a virus but whatever
>didn't know how to clear history but that's unrelated
>see the guys always humping the girls
>want to try it out for myself
>used to sleep with sister because no room for two beds and my parents didn't want to switch out the king sized in the room
>hump her at night
>felt nice
>have semi-sexual relationship with her a few years after that
>currently 18
>cut her off because it got weird for me
>she's doing ok hasn't talked about it

Was it mastodon

No. It was car seat headrest.

That I'm smart.

Wizard, i demand ye secrets.

I've had dinner with billionaires and international dignitaries. Also personally know the inventor of certain mass produced materials analysis machines and two dudes who managed to invent a sort of electronic nose.

>The one time being 5'2'' paid off.
wait did you literally dab him with the knife

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HELP MY PHONES ALMOST OUT OF POWER AND IM TRAPPED WITH NORMALS NEXT 4 HOURS

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How do u find these ppl

top fucking FIF i bet that was an awkward walk

You did nothing wrong. In fact, you did everything right. It was you or him, and you chose correctly.

How'd you amass your fortune? Stocks?

i cucked chad

I had sex with a biological woman.

Is that your opener with the ladies

Can't really think of anything that no one would believe, but I can think of a couple things
>parents are extremely religious, especially my dad
>dad believes that everything bad comes from demons
>once blamed a chip in our windshield caused by a pebble we ran into while driving on the highway on demons, saying that a demon threw the pebble
>got mad at me for saying "poo poo pee pee" once because that's "filthy talk" and apparently all filthy things come from demons
Also, I'm pretty sure my parents think I got molested twice, but both times were misunderstandings. I remember them getting really mad both times they found out, but I didn't get why they were so mad at the time. I can greentext them if you guys want.

Yeah, gets the women as wet as Niagra falls dude. All the chads in the bar bow down to me when I utter those words to a woman as she and every other woman in a hundred mile radius starts stipping and dry-humping me.

Don't feel bad. Fuck that guy. Your home is your castle, and you have the right to kill any intruder into your castle.

that im not a virgin
im the quintessential virgin only that i've had sex multiple times with a friend

I'm a 6ft big guy who had stage 3 cancer and I feel like people think I'm lying because I'm not a thin rail. It wasn't recently and I usually don't go into detail and just say it if I have to for whatever reason

>that I am a virgin
I went to a lot of parties in highschool and was always really good with women. Everyone else would always get blackout drunk. Few years later and I'm living with my friends from highschool they all think I've been with more people then all of them combined but in reality I've never been with anyone.

I'm successful and have underlings who do menial task for me

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vodou gods used to tell me what to do

Don't believe u , bro

Okay, something about me nobody would believe.
I've seen some serious paranormal shit, with other people who would corroborate, and it's pretty much proven to us that there's... stuff... going on. Not good stuff.

Green t eXt0 plz

the virgin chad vs the chad virgin
i got a friend who is super confident, an 8/10 at least, has had gfs but is a virgin, shocker

Your friend is 100% gay so its not really that large of a shocker

i have a ridiculous "Lucky Pervert" luck, i've touched maybe hundreds of butts and tits with no consequence at all (all of them by accident), i also seem to be a magnet of horny girls, this shit is so frequent that 90% of the times that i ride a train/subway a random girl ends up dryhumping me.
Thing is, for the first 20 years of my life i tried to avoid these kind of things, i developed ridiculous reflexes to avoid tits and asses, and the only times that i ended up touching something were when it was literally unavoidable. Shit i even developed techniques to avoid getting a boner even when a girl was dryhumping me, but then i said fuck it and now i just enjoy the ride.

>inb4 ur just a chad
That's the thing, i'm not good looking, in fact, i'm fucking ugly, i'm not even fit or anything. Even if we take into account my personality, i'm pretty much an average weird guy who has to hide his power level, not to mention that my social skills are shit.
I have no clue about how to interact with a girl so i just treat them as a guy.
I've attracted a few stacies over the years and i have no fucking idea how or why they liked me in the first place.
But here's the shit, even though i attract random horny girls, stacies and sluts in general, i'm either invisible or repulsive (since they think that i'm a player) to the kind of girl that i like (cute, shy girls).
So basically, i can't have a loving relationship with a girl that i like (cute shy girls), and instead i'm a fucking magnet for the kind of girls that i don't like (sluts).

I've had selective mutism since I was 12 I'm now 22 and remain a selective mute and people find it cute

How long will you mute for?

I currently am sick and weigh 107lbs at 6'3"
I've only been this low once in my adult life.

There is no hope in this hell, no hope at all.

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Once I have a reason not too, I honestly cant comprehend not being mute at this point

well his father is gay so i wouldnt doubt it that much

please tell us more, user. I wanna know about how you fucked your cousins.

Can i ask how?

NOTHING. i am completely bland and average in every imaginable way. i hate my bland uneventful life and am going to kill myself.

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Greentext it please.

Comentario 100 % original

>even developed techniques to avoid getting a boner

Teach me your ways,user.I use public tranport a lot.

Most of them apparently don't work on most people, but there's one that i think anyone can use.
It's pretty simple, you just have to focus REALLY hard in one thought, it has to be something that you can't think about mecanically. If you try to shut down some of your senses, it will only make the others feel stronger and you'll end up more aroused, so you have to focus on something outside your 5 senses, that's why you have to think about something and focus really hard on that thing, that way your brain will most likely ignore everything else.
Different people think about different things, but personally i just count prime numbers, it has proved to be the most effective for me.

I did this too.

The talk with my parents when they found out years later was a fucking ride.

Holy shit, how cucked is leafland? What were you supposed to do? Talk him down? Preform first aid after you stabbed him? You even retreated first! As I understand it, in Colorado, they have the strongest stand-your-ground where you only have to believe that they might commit a crime while trespassing in order to kill someone and claim self-defense. IMO, it's fucked up that you even have to go to the police station after they found that fucker in your apartment.

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I'm a Navy Seal working undercover

i produced directed and started in a series of pornographic films at the age of 12 i think i dont remember i was lobotomized by the satanic mob .. did you all see it and injoy it it was an epic?? .. also a demonstration as to why you use human growth hormones :) thank you for your service for that i still serve

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Damn. If you don't mind the trouble, maybe you can immigrate to Alaska or some other sparsely populated US state. Then you can defend yourself without the risk of jail time and not have to see too many fat people. If it's Alaska in particular then you'll probably have to worry more about bears than people on the sole account that Alaska is basically a frozen wasteland where human settlements are several days away from each other, and most fatties up there are probably trying to use their blubber for warmth.

the general consensus is that you did the right thing. I agree, but I'd like to add that this man probably would've at best waste away our tax money, at worst, kill someone (or more).

>my father worked at NASA and is a military officer, as well as being a college professor
>he was a huge Chad and even had a kid out of wedlock with some whore (managed to win custody), and later married my mother who was a sheltered virgin half his age
>I was born during a tropical storm and was almost crushed by a telephone pole on the way home as an infant
>my birth date is also dubs (day and month same number)
That's about it, I guess. Anything else is probably believable.

yea i wrote it organized its hole creation and distributed it once young age form was legalized .. also thanks my lizards wizards .. thanks for enjoying me us you i live to serve the server.. until the servers end my service

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I have lived in a travelling cover band most of my childhood, though I never gained any interest in music as a result. Because of this, I've lived in places such as;

>Korea
>Jakarta
>Bahrain
>Dubai
>Okno (Russia)
>Australia

I do mean that I actually lived in these places, for a minimum of six months at a time, often in five star, top of the line hotels who would pay my parents as well as accommodate them, to perform there six nights a week. They'd play a mix of Western pop music, rock tracks, older pop music, and especially in Korea, some foreign songs.

I have, or my parents have, met many interesting people, or even just known interesting people, including;

>A musician who worked with Michael Jackson
>Multiple band members who also published original CD's
>Have a connection to a well established young voice actor, due to my father knowing a Canadian agent who knows the family

The only downside is that a lack of permanent friendship from a young age and many nights that I spent alone without a babysitter, parents, ect, is most likely what has led me to have a crippled social life. The cruel irony is that I am fairly intelligent, and I am also quite fit, in fact, I am more fit than the average man, but from a young age, I've had basically no social skills, and the best I got was with the adults in the band.

would anyone want to post a picture from that event .. or not server the poops product of death 2 i suppose

created a mirror of a popular shopping site sent it user to people I hated and worked with. Stole the cc info bought bitcoin, dispersed it into different wallets and eventually used coinbase to get it wired to one of my accounts.

i keep coming back like anyone will post the videos of my making but yet no one has returned my calls idk its a sad affair but i rest knowing your priest lie in ruined

I believe I'm being attacked by evil entities in my sleep. Every night they get closer and closer to trapping me in my sleep forever. Last night, they had replaced all my family members in my dream world and were just about to assimilate me when I forced myself to wake up.
I think I accidentally opened a metaphysical barrier that protects my self a couple months ago during a sort of experimentation.

People accuse others pf hypocrisy because they project, wrongly, their own ideals onto others and assume that everyone also has the same values. For example the idea that everyone values the greater good and thus it is somehow hypocrisy to only help people in "your" group. But that assumes your morals and views include the idea that everyone matters to you, the identified individual, and rejects the possiblity that your morals value human life more relative to your own.

I have prescient dreams

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That's not hard for me to believe, I have them as well. I think it's just a very natural and scientific phenomena of the 4th dimension "fumbling" your conciousness. Like someone messing up a ling on a drawing.

I guess that makes sense, it makes me question free will and the nature of time though.
I also wish it wasn't just dreams of useless boring shit I'll do in the future and actually knowledge that I could use ahead of time but I guess that's being selfish.

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hmm yea this sucks i cant get out of my dream sequence a well i died at at least i can die on a mole hill of flesh

Lol you mad that your dreams showed you a restaurant and the people who'd be there on some uneventful day?

Not that exactly but pretty similar I guess. The only one I had that was interesting was the one that convinced me they were real and not some kind of deja vu.

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New rapidly growing Jow Forums server, join if you can't fit in anywhere else:
discord
.gg/spgbeZR

i

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>murder
>killed in self defense.
nigger, that was self defense. you were fully right and just in your action. if you had not done that he would have fucking killed you. that's not murder.

I saw Dragon live in some church (nice acoustics) after they became nobodies.

youtube.com/watch?v=jM7RcgZ1pLE

>several of my friends knew Richard Russel (Sky King) personally
>slept for roughly one week straight back in 2010
>have family members who attend church with the Bush family
>unironically believe and pray to the Lord and the Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit and seek to do His will above all else in my life

why is your server any different from any of the thousands already there, you fucking disgusting piece of poo?

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Was it through going to conferences (as part of your research)?
I met Dr. Ben Carson. Seemed like a cool dude, but he was jet lagged as heck.

I've squandered 100k worth of grants from electrical companies and academic institutions in order to do maybe 8k worth of work and spend two years wanting to kill myself.
Every time I want to start working, I just remember how important my work could be, and it's the only thing I can think about. I can't take the pressure.
I've got a review coming up soon, might and they're going to figure out how little I've done. Watch for me on the news.

I have a fucked up accent that started as soon as I got brain damage. Most people have trouble understanding me and they all think I'm an immigrant.

I had a dream of my wife and children many years ago, and maybe once or twice a year since. There were times when I binged sleeping pills, sleeping 14+ hours a day at a time, even becoming hospitalized, because I was desperate to see them again. They were never real outside of my heart and mind.

I have schizotypal.

Consider talking to a priest and praying and even placing religious items in your bedroom. Prayer can do tremendous good for you, provided you know what prayer is and how to pray.
>most 'Christians' pray incorrectly
You can't pray for selfish reasons, as counterintuitive as that sounds. For instance, about the dreams, I would personally try praying to the Lord for strength and faith to cast out evil spirits if they are so, and for the wisdom and guidance through Him to understand what He wants you to do.

Prayer is very powerful but not in the "dear God please give me a new Xbox amen" pop-culture way.

>they were never real
I occasionally have dreams about gf and family too, user, and sometimes about irl gf who died, these ones destroy me

like this?
sorry for shit quality but i dont draw

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>I smell colors
>I see words when people talk
>I taste colors
>I feel sounds as touch and motion
>I see sounds
>I can feel it in my hands when I see people touch things with their hands
>sometimes I can feel it when I see someone or something get touched
>I perceive certain visual stimuli as touch and it drives me nuts
>certain visual stimuli are audible
>I see music
>I see emotions and physical sensations like pain and orgasm as color
>none of this has even covered abstracts like math, time, days of the week, months, concepts, phonemes, or letters yet
Where, exactly, is the line between sensory processing disorder and synesthesia?

looks like i also found some arms

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