Tfw starting to become schizophrenic

How originallie old are you?

>the walls tell visual stories
What does this mean? It sounds very interesting, can you elaborate?

I'm turning 19 soon. You better not come to my house and murder me while I'm sleeping. I don't like giving out personal information online. Online people are nuts.

I don't know exactly why all I know is that humans are social creatures and need social interaction to be healthy

I think it's a biological response. We have evolved to be a communal animal and our body shuts down to disincentivize us from isolating ourselves.

You better talk to yourself. Other people might not let you speak. How'd you know what you'd be wanting to say?
There's this wall and it's a big stone wall outside. Any wall works but this walls best. Look at it and the lines and indents make shapes. The shapes become characters and landscapes. Changing and fading into one another. See whatever you see, put the story together. A girls face? She's winking! A cat, no, a lion! The girls a druid! It can also be done without a wall with the eyes closed. The eyes closed one is less intense most of the time, but easier as a whole.

Tfw was thinking this lately. And most recently 5 minutes ago and stumble upon this. Not helpful
REEEE

In my description, it might sound grand or dream like the wall staring. To clarify, it's a very mild effect. Anyways, schizo time, gotsa know what I'm in for anons.
Will the non-real fantasies get more believable or will I be better able to discern them? I will not take pills of any sort. It's just not the right thing to be doing.

>think I might be the messiah
>starting to mix up words when speaking and typing
>sometimes think that my food might be poisoned, have thrown out 2 meals because of this, both made by my mom
>sometimes think people are in love with me or want to fuck me, has happened with most people I know including family members, friends, and strangers
>think insects might be tiny robots spying on me
>becoming very forgetful
>sometimes see a flash of movement or an object out of the corner of my eye that isn't there
>sometimes worried people can read my thoughts
>think that when I see numbers in a certain order it might be God communicating to me
>have completely isolated myself from my friends for no particular reason
>have stopped regularly eating and keeping hygienic
>smoke a lot of weed and have done LSD once

I'm gonna be alright, right?

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i had a schizo friend who thinks im talking shit about him whenever we aren't in the same room. like he actually thinks he hears it. i quit hanging out with him because he's an asshole

Sure, but evolutionary speaking it'd make far more sense to keep the body in working order and cause emotional pain, thus allowing someone to still recreate relationships and still survive generally without major delusions getting in the way of that process.

On the other hand, maybe we're sophisticated enough to have evolved to be aware that losing touch with reality will get us killed, and because we're creatures that are aware of this we consider the solution to that problem as a higher priority.
So basically the isolation problem is made worse than it already is precisely to make sure you do not isolate yourself.

Sounds dumb but evolution often is, still I'm concerned it would be far too impractical of a solution to have gotten anywhere, it seems to me like most schizos when they're aware they've lost touch don't end up making it back.

stop smoking weed and just practice being out in public more maybe start reading some books too

This isn't cool, abandoning friends and forcing them into isolation is much more of an asshole thing to do than him thinking you are making fun of him due to his schizophrenia. You probably made his schizophrenia worse by isolating him.

but it's so good, the creativity it gives me for thinking is unparalleled, my logic is even if I do go off the deep end as a person, if I can keep my ideas level and rational then maybe I can actually do some good, messiah or not

Could be that this evolved in order to keep people who isolate themselves from reproducing. Perhaps genes like that could help move the entire species into becoming social rather than moving in and out of being social depending on different members of the population. But I don't know, this is just speculation.

Just try to limit it make sure you're sober longer than you are high. Living and coping with sober reality is key

i didnt stop hanging out with him bc of schizophrenia, i did because he's an asshole in every other aspect and doesnt respect other people

>it's schizo time.
Nobody with real schizophrenia would say this, they wouldnt be so weirdly excited like you are about it. Real schizos even have physical symptoms, like their muscles stop working and shit, its not just some dmt trip like "teehee I hear voices". The symptoms you describe happen to everyone occasionally, you are just taking them out of proportion and jumping to conclusions because you think having schizophrenia is cool and interesting. Any doctor would laugh at you. "I see shapes in da wall!" no shit, anyone can do that. You are trying to convince yourself you have it. You're just a faggot.

I think it's more along the lines of survival was easier in groups so you get a negative response when isolated for too long causing you to rejoin the group which leads to survival and positive feelings but I'm also just speculating

I basically smoke constantly for a solid period, usually 2 weeks to a month, and then don't at all for 2 weeks to 3 months, I find the juxtaposition helps a lot with thinking.

I should add that for now I don't think I'm becoming schizophrenic, I'm pretty sure I'm just schizotypal, although I know that can make you susceptible. I guess I'll have to wait until after I have a full on psychotic break to really know.

you're at the right age for the onset of schizophrenia user

Some of the coolest, more creative people I know are schizophrenia/schizaffective. It's just very difficult to live with and other people can be really shitty about it.

I have a friends who has this and he doesnt go anywhere or do anything ever he also doesnt like having friends even though we talk frequently so I guess im no friend

yeah I'm also getting worried about the authenticity of this thread.
I'm pretty sure a big part of schizophrenia is that you're supposed to be unable to differentiate between the bullshit your brain makes. If people who didn't want schizophrenia recognized the many infamous signs of schizophrenia when they develop it, then there'd certainly be less cases of them harming themselves/others and going completely fucking insane before they get treatment.
Speaking/writing is a skill like any other, if you rarely do it then it'll deteriorate like any other.

differentiate it between reality i mean

well of course, but when the awareness of possibly being crazy goes alongside thoughts that really seem crazy it becomes very hard to figure out which one is holding sway, but I'd say that personality disorders like schizotypal are the most probable explanation for someone both somewhat aware and somewhat eccentric in their thoughts

...his name isn't Anthony, is it?

Yea it was fuck off Anthony

If you were actually developing schizophrenia, you wouldn't be able to tell. It's rare for someone with untreated schizophrenia to have that much clarity. Also it wouldn't be something to be excited about. It's not some kind of eternal wacky conspiracy theory acid trip it's like a waking nightmare at all times.

why do you want to have schizophrenia? you're not only self diagnosing but you're also refusing to get help are you hoping you have schizophrenia because you're an attention seeker or because you want an excuse to be a failure?

What's the first letter of his last name? What state does he live in?

lol no he's a travis

he's a low empathy sperglord along with being schizophrenic and thats what makes him fucking insufferable

It's not about wanting schizophrenia. I see no way out of it, so I go into it open minded. I likely don't even have it from what the other anons are saying. I'm suspicious that I might develop schizophrenia as it's in my genes.

ayyyyye user im fellow schizo! its really no fun get help while you can my dude please. it really sucks so get help as soon as possible

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You are experiencing delusion of grandeur, you're having a psychotic episode. I was just like you. I am schizo-affective. Seek treatment, you will get disability bux too.

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but if people know that I'm crazy then they will not take my ideas as seriously, or rather sincerely, I already know that these are delusions of grandeur and actively second-guess and keep myself centered so as to keep to a reality that is understandable, rational, and communicative to others

essentially I make an effort not to get ahead of myself

How long do you think you can sustain this state? Soon the amount of information your brain receives will be 2much2handle. It's only a matter of time until you start following the signs and endanger yourself.

>I see no way out of it
considering you think it's early in it's stages gee maybe going to a doctor would be a way to make it a lot easier and better
>schizophrenia is genetic
literally a myth, predisposition is genetic but the illness isn't

Following the signs isn't something only schizophrenics feel the need to do, everyone does it in one way or another, socially for example, like how people might see social ques that aren't there. So my idea is to act in archetypes, to try and act in a way that follows fundamentals that can't be denied, so as to stay understandable to everyone, we do the exact same thing with science, we use fundamental ideas to all stay on the same page in what is really a very messy and hard to grip to book, and I do the same thing with my decision making.

Now if I was to lose touch with people completely, then I would be in trouble, but I actively study and try to understand human nature and psychology, so I can stay level. I have had a very strong imagination and a very strong paranoia for my entire life, so I think I'm quite good at keeping a level head when things seem to be closing in on me, and to make decisions that I know are not only going to affect my reality, but realities of other people which may be different from mine, and I try to keep everyone content.

And again, I think that I'm schizotypal, so I may just have an eccentric mind rather than one that fractures, but I'll see what happens I guess.

I should probably add that since I was mentioning God talking to me, that when I say God I don't mean a sentient creator deity, I mean something more like the Dao, a kind of intelligent happenstance that is both me, you, and everything else, and when I see numbers falling in synchronictic ways, I take it as a kind of reminder, it's like mindful meditation. My ideas on me being the messiah only means me being someone who recognizes these things, and no differently than a scientist recognizing patterns in matter behavior so as to benefit his fellow man, I try to recognize patterns in the world that correlate with our own thoughts so as to take apart what it means to be alive as the eyes of the world, for the sake of breaking it down enough to be able to translate it to others, because as far as I'm concerned everything in the world is just where it should be, and the only thing that really should change is people's awareness of that.

Please tell me if I'm making sense because trying to communicate these things is what I'm dedicated to right now.

i do go to a doctor he says its autism and maybe early schizo. the pills so far are just for autism but i ain't taking NOTHING. No thanks, I'm good. Anyways, how do I not go insane despite this?

What pills are prescribed for autism?

>how do I not go insane despite this?
schizophrenic here, if you're serious consider anti psychotics, I hate them but it's better than schizo, at the very least go to the doctor and be completely honest, next fix your diet and take pre/pro biotics since the guts microbiome is linked to intensity of schizophrenia symptoms also make sure you're getting 8 hours sleep, avoid all stimulants, coffee, energy drinks etc and start exercising

I used to be on high dose APs and have been in and out of hospitals but just focusing on my health and avoiding things that feed delusions such as conspiracy theories has got me to a place in which my doctors are fine with me being off medication but seriously, however bad you imagine medication is, untreated schizophrenia is worse, if you don't engage with doctors you will regret it

Latuda but honestly fuck it. I won't take it.
I engage with doctors. If they put me in a "hospital" though, all my trust is gone.

>Latuda
Really, Latuda? Latuda is an antipsychotic, friend. It can be used to treat schizophrenia.

>I engage with doctors.
if they suggested anti psychotics would you take them?
>If they put me in a "hospital" though, all my trust is gone.
why did you put hospital in quotes, that's what they are, I've been to several the doctors aren't putting you in them out of spite it's because it's the best option for you - they're hospitals and if you actually want to get better you need to accept the doctor knows better than you

Ah HA! I knew it wasn't just for autism. Just as suspected, quid ro pro or whatever. I ain't taking it so it's all good but that's good to know.

I really don't wanna take pills. Hospitals scare me because I might not be allowed to leave. That sounds like a bad time all around.

>I really don't wanna take pills
then you will regret it because you'll only ever get worse, the first course of action is you're on anti psychotics for a year then slowly brought off them and there's a reasonable chance you'll be fixed, never needing APs again
>Hospitals scare me because I might not be allowed to leave.
they're ok and you'd get under a section 2 most likely which is only up to 28 days to assess and engage treatment (not always medication) and you can usually appeal and win pretty easily

user I'm going to try and make this clear you have two options, take the meds, fix your diet, exercise, sleep well or be so egotistical you think you know better than the doctor and refuse to take meds, which'll very quickly ruin your life

I mean, they can be used to treat some symptoms of autism, like self injury. They're pretty sedative. Do you have meltdowns?

Looking at your list of symptoms here though I can't say you sound schizophrenic.

user, I watch my diet and excersize like a Jow Forumsitizen. It is not egoism that makes me reject the medication. It is personal reasons. I just need to know how bad this can get. I don't even know if I have schizophrenia. I just need to know in case. How bad can it get?

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if you don't take meds it can get so bad that it's over as in you won't get better, not taking meds could make it so every second of your lfie will be downhill, your life will only get worse, though desu it doesn't sound like schizophrenia it's most likely just your autism, in fact if you have a formal autism diagnosis that excludes you from being able to have schizophrenia according to the DSM V so if you have in fact been diagnosed with autism you don't have schizophrenia but should still accept your doctors knows what's best for you

fuck off originalakbrbg

Yes, I do/did have meltdowns. Just a couple incidents of mild reasoning loss. Nothing major.
>Punched fellow for cutting in line
>Punched other fellow for stomping the ant
>Broke my desk for wobbling
>Smashed head against the wall
>Tried leaving vehicle before the ride was over
>Attempted hanging with too long a rope (muh knees)
I told the doc about such incidents, worry not.
Well, that clears that up. My doc says I have overt autism, therefore no schizophrenia.

>I told the doc about such incidents, worry not.
And he diagnosed you with autism? Those meltdowns don't sound autistic to me.

If I had to guess, I'd say you're making shit up about being diagnosed with anything. This has to be a self diagnosis.

I've been told I have autism by my doctor and my family. He sent me to another doctor, he said I had autism too. They said it was a full offical diagnosis. I've never even met another person with autism so I don't know if I act like them.

Took LSD then a month later I was full insane. Thought I was a deity. 0/10 would fuck up my life again

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Pssst
AOC is reading your thoughts and giving you hints about it in her speeches. You have to stop her. Get an AR-15 and get her :-)

>how long did it take for the radical thoughts to go from mild to not so mild
About seven years of intermittent paranoia finally gave way to full blown psychosis. You would think that the delusions and hallucinations would be the worst part, but really, once you have those things medicated under control, it's side effects of the medication and the unrelenting negative and cognitive symptoms that fuck you up. Basically good luck ever being productive or enjoying any of your hobbies ever again.

Also, I get zero NEETbux, because I live with my parents and I have over $30,000 in savings. There are no upsides to have the illness. I'm using a powder called sarcosine to try to treat the symptoms that refuse to go away, but I haven't really become more productive. I just sleep less and have more energy.

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