idk what to do with this I feel weird about the whole story and sometimes I wonder if Im dead and this is supposed to be hell
tl;dr I was about to kill myself when a girl showed up and now I dont know what to do with myself
>depressed for a while now >decide to end it, have to contact to my family so whatever >its Tuesday night so I go to the river in my city >walk on the bridge and sit at the railing just pitying myself for the last time and thinking about how numb and hollow I am >suddenly I feel a hand on my back and a soft voice saying >heyturn around >girl standing behind me with a concerned look on her face >its like 3 in the morning so idk what shes doing here >she seems a little drunk so probably out partying and now walking home >she asks me to come down >ask her why >she tells me I can still jump later, she wants to talk >I think about it briefly then comply >as soon as I get down she hugs me >I hesitantly hug her back cause I dont know what else to do >ask her whats up >she seems kinda exhausted >so I get down and we just sit on the floor >she still refuses to let go >maybe out of fear ill just do a backflip over the railing who knows >she is breathing very regularly >realize she has fallen asleep >dont know what the fuck to do >cant just leave her and go die >pick her up and walk back to my apartment its only a five minute walk >lay her down on my bed >still dont know what to do so I sit down at my table for a few minutes >so confused >is she an angel? did god send her >is she a college student who happened to pass out in the arms of a suicidal man? >what the fuck >decide to start playing dark souls until she wakes up >which happened exactly 3 hours later >she sits up and looks around >feel weird and tell her not to panic I didnt do anything to her for some reason >she just nods >crawls out of bed and sits down on the floor next to me >she asks me if we really met on the bridge or whether that was a dream >2
>think about lying so she fucks off >decide to tell her the truth >she looks really sad >ask her whether shed like some breakfast >she nods again >get up and walk to the kitchen, she follows me >tell her I have some cereal and stuff >she takes a bowl and we sit down >I just kinda watch her eat >when shes finished she asks me why I tried to kill myself >very blunt but ok >vaguely hint to my depression and just not caring anymore >she asks me whether im on meds >tell her Im not >when she asks why I explain that I dont want them to turn me into a zombie >asks me whether I have a therapist >tell her that I dont care for one, that I just kinda wanna die >she asks me about friends and family >tell her that I basically have none >it goes on like this for a while >probably almost two hours, we just kinda talk >when she leaves she gives me her number and makes me promise that Id call her when I feel suicidal again >dont call her for a few days and dont try to kill myself either >one night things get worse again >terrible anxiety and urge to hurt myself >call her cause idk what else to do >feel stupid and weak >but she comes 15 minutes later >open the door to her >dont know what she saw when she looked at me but instantly pulls me into a hug >dont even make an effort to hug her back or close the door >just slide down the wall >we stay like this the entire night >im shaking and feel feverish, she talks to me all the way through >see the sun go up through the window by the kitchen >realize that I wouldnt have seen it if it wasnt for her >feel weird again in my chest area >look at her watching the sun dawn >ask her if shes hungry >oder pizza from a 24h Place >talk more >make plans to see each other the next day >this goes on for a bit >its actually kinda nice. Talking to her and doing stuff like going to museums and other events shes interested in >meet her friends who are all very nice people >still feel dreadful sometimes >3
Nolan Davis
Idk about an anime but this is some fucking crazy shit. God Himself is on your side with this girl
Oliver Price
>she convinces me to try out different meds >first 3 dont work >after that it gets a little better >still feel hollow for the most part >yesterday we were walking around and alongside the river I was trying to drown myself in >we stop talking >she hesitantly brushes her fingers against mine >suddenly we hold hands >stop walking >kisses the corner of my mouth >asks me if I really feel nothing >feel a whole lot actually >but I also know that im making a lot of things very difficult for her >and I want her to be okay >so I shake my head >she looks a bit dissapointed first but then smiles and gives me another kiss on the cheek, platonically idk >walk back >did i fuck up?
Anthony Martinez
meantime shes getting dicked down by her bf at home lmao
Thomas Barnes
Oi keep it going, it's good stuff.
Logan Martin
>and I want her to be okay Why didn't you tell her?
Nathan Wilson
don't ruin it dude, you sad fuck
Parker Perry
How helpless and depressed do I have to look to get a saviour gf
Jackson Morales
Question is how much luck do you need to have? cause there ain't a saviour gf for the faggets that actually jump off a bridge.
So If I want a gf I actually just have to try jump off a bridge? I thought it's harder than that
Charles Watson
Am I just that warped that I don't believe this shit for a second?
Matthew Collins
No, that's a pretty normal and expected reaction because it's the truth
Benjamin Price
Well if it really happened, I get hints that while at first it might have been out of pure kindness, which is already rare, you might have found a girl that understands you to some degree, and wants to help. I don't know if she loves you, but I get the feeling you love her nonetheless. Talk about what you feel with her. Sure, she's your savior, but she might feel responsible of you too. Make sure she understands you're not blackmailing her into not killing yourself through going out with her. Godspeed, user.
Did you ever think that she has a weird pleasure into having the responsability and autority over your emotional wellbeing? Im asking cause im a paranoid with trust issues.
N-no i refuse to believe someone is this retarded. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL HER. Literaly an anime oportunity for her to go like "baka" and then kiss you. OP..... call her right fucking now and tell her what you feel. OP! DO IT YOU FAG! I BELIEVE IN YOU. GODSPEED.
