context: i'm a transgirl faggot, i like guys a lot more than i like girls. however, ended up in a relationship with a girl because emotions. also, we live thousands of miles from each other rn so that's fun.
she's schitzoaffective-bipolar. very unstable. recently much worse than usual. it's always had a bad effect on my mental health, i'm not the most stable person myself. recently though.. she's been breaking down every other day. for very, very small reasons. there's literally no warning, she hits me with this shit out of nowhere and i don't know how to respond. and i think it's starting to genuinely harm my physical health as well as my mental health. my heartrate won't slow down and i have a hard time sitting still when i'm not asleep, and when i can sleep, not only is the quality awful, but i can't get up in the mornings. i work at home so it isn't a big deal in that context, but it's still quite bad when i stay up for 30 hours and then sleep for 12-20. i've been startled much easier as a result of these things. i can't focus on doing things i enjoy because i can't think of anything other than her pulling that shit again.
i've resorted to half-seriously flirting with random strangers to cope, to sort of pretend i have a chance of getting out. only thing that helps at all.
i'm scared she'll kill herself if i actually leave, and i genuinely love her a lot and want to stay with her, but i'm not sure if that's good for either of us.
leave her also why the fuck did you feel the need to include that you were trans and a faggot no one cares and also please get the fuck off of my boardw
Wyatt Morales
it's related to the relationship, because sexuality. part of the reason she gets upset is because she thinks i like guys better. and i do but i can't say that to her. i just figured context as to who i am in the barest sense would be helpful.
Liam Mitchell
I'll say this from first-hand experience, if your partner knows you're bi and it makes them insecure about the relationship then it is practically impossible to reassure them and put them at ease since that self-doubt will always be nagging in the back of their mind; I wish it wasn't like that but telling your partner you're bi is a huge gamble in a relationship
Jayden Stewart
ah fuck, i shoulda realized that. thing is, she's bi too so i'd think she'd understand? i dunno.
Liam Powell
i still dont think telling us you area tranny is really necessary but in any case if the instability of your partner is negatively affecting you and they show no signs of improving you need to cut them off yeah because withholding info is how to have healthy relationships right user
Michael Wilson
Ideally this would be the case but she's clearly worried that you'll leave her for a man and it makes people insecure to know that their partner has desires that they can never possibly fulfill, I've only had one partner who reacted positively when I told them and it turns out that was because it was a fetish thing for her to have a bf who would also occasionally kiss other guys and let her watch
Jonathan Taylor
apologies. i'll keep that in mind if i end up posting again at some point.
shouldn't i be mindful of her committing suicide? it's a very big possibility considering her. and, i don't really know how i'd move on.
Sebastian Ross
she lives far away how the fuck would you know just cut all contact and move on unless she is working on improving. you dont owe a life debt to her just because yall dated.
Robert Peterson
i suppose i get that. it doesn't matter. i genuinely care deeply about her and her well being. even the possibility of that would weigh pretty deeply on me. if it was that simple for me i'd just do it, yanno.
Joshua Scott
OP is clearly really young to not recognize the most blatant emotional manipulation i've seen in a long time. you need to get the fuck out of that situation. if you're casually flirting with people then clearly you have plenty of people to talk to if you leave her.
though l want to warn you, OP, manipulative people, ESPECIALLY those who will cite a mental illness as the reason for something bad they do, are always really vengeful and try to fuck your life if you leave them. i'm speaking from experience, just be careful.
Joseph Myers
So you're a straight male? I don't get why you even wrote this
Christopher Garcia
>i'm scared she'll kill herself if i actually leave she won't. don't let her guilt trip you with that shit.
Matthew Flores
Bite the bullet and break up. Maybe even ghost immediately after telling her. Good luck. Oh and take your girl pills retard.
Gavin Evans
this user put it better than i ever could. seriously as someone who has had someone pull this shit you need to get the fuck out of there
Joshua Nguyen
he said hes mostly into dudes user can you even read lmao
Easton Russell
19. it seems quite honest to me, she's genuinely a bit fucked in the head. especially because i've talked to people who can back it up. maybe i'm wrong. if i do leave her, i will be careful. we'll see. it's not easy for me so that's all i can say. i'll take 'em as soon as i get 'em lol
Lincoln Brown
i understand you are young but you have to learn that this is just a thing people pull, seriously dont fall for it
Lucas Wilson
i'm aware it's something people pull, but is it possible that sometimes people are just being honest? maybe this is my youth talking, though i'm typically quite jaded, but i'm reluctant to assume she's being a manipulative bitch without evidence if there are alternatives, such as genuine mental health issues.
Lucas Perry
i mean i literally have that diagnosis but its no excuse for pulling this "user i would kill myself if i didnt have you shit"
Aaron Evans
it's part of her issues that she can't exactly control herself. as well as with her background and past relationships (long story), it makes a bit of sense. i suppose my point is, under the assumption that it is genuine mental health issues (the assumption i have to make considering that i care about her the way i do and can't risk hurting her for an assumption), what should i do?
Matthew Long
well is she taking steps to improve the situation? (going to a psychiatrist, taking medication, going to therapy) if so i suppose you could ride it out but if she isnt doing that she isnt worth your time. >it's part of her issues that she can't exactly control herself yeah that's the implication of being bipolar user, if i wasnt on my meds id still be battling issues with mania, extreme depressive episodes, and scizo shit. even on meds i still have some troubles, however dont let her use the diagnosis to excuse poor behavior.
i just remembered, i should add for more context that she is 23 and i am 19. i'm not sure. i only recently convinced her to go back to that shit, and apparently all of the doctors take multiple months to get in to. so she's a bit stuck at the moment. i don't know if she's still trying, and i need to make sure she is. all right, i'll try to make sure i don't. also good pic user.
>apparently all of the doctors take multiple months to get in to lol no thats just simply not how it works, and even if that was how it works you can always instantly get a psychiatric checkup if you go to the psych ward
oh also i forgot to respond to the psych ward part. she absolutely refuses to anywhere near those. bad experiences in the past.
Ryan Cruz
how so i kinda just went to the nearest health center and asked for their psychiatrist, and got in quite quickly, i mean im not doubting you but my place is in this shithole ex-industrial town, not exactly in a place with a high population. eh i suppose its not fun but if you need emergency mental health care its kinda the only choice.
yeah she lives in the city, i live in suburbs, so there is much higher demand. also, west virginia? just out of curiosity. they have some interesting ex-industry towns around there.
i suppose so. this was her response when i brought it up: "I would be Hospitalized And Not all psych wards are good My life would be in someone else's hands I wouldn't have contact with you And Because I'm an adult They decided what's best for me My mom doesn't get to take me out this time And I'd rather not get flash backs Thanks for asking"
