Guy asks if I have BPD

>Isn't getting them to love you the easiest part?
Depends on the person. I'm really closed off to other people, I don't like letting anyone anyone in because once they are I become emotionally dependent on them and it leaves me open to abandonment. I don't even keep friends anymore, I just can't handle it.

It sounds like getting you to love someone is still easier than dealing with it a week later when you realize you're emotionally dependent on them so you push them away to protect yourself from abandonment.

It's alright though, better that than seeing every potential dating partner as either a "you could do better than her" or a "you could never live up to what she deserves"

I can't push people away once I realize I'm emotionally dependent on them, that's why I avoid become dependent in the first place.

>probably got lured in by mid 20s BPD girl
>verified pic indicates they're cute
>but they hang in a inactive community. have been there for a year+, and are venting about life long inability to fit in and make friends
>venting about people abandoning them
>interacted with them before but was scared of getting close because self doubt, especially when I found out they're a girl
>talk for hours, they have huge emotional baggage (rape, trauma, bulimic)
>super self loathing and deprecating even though she has a BF of 7 years
>talks a fucking lot
>said they're sexually deprived out of nowhere
>baby fever
>desperate to please people and get attention on the bigger, active community linked to the one we are on
>told her that she barely has any posts and will get more attention if she's more active and that she'll get better help there than from me
> they say nobody has given her the time like I have and that she wants to talk more
Is this BPD like behavior? Already prepared to be discarded

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you think this is a result of lots of abandonment earlier in life?

are you OP btw? isn't it better to be ghosted by someone like this than for you to ghost him once you realize you may become too invested in him?

BPD people are emotionally disturbed individuals and are not meant to be in romantic relationships.

don't plan a future in your head with this one my guy. Take it as it comes and don't expect anything, so you won't be disappointed when she disappears

Yeah, my father and my grandmother.

I'm OP, and yeah that's true but I'm pretty good at keeping people distant enough that I'm not too upset when they leave. It still hurts when someone does though, even if they were someone I never cared about.
This is true honestly.

that's sad, sorry you've been abandoned so much. Have you been abandoned by non-family people in your life, such as a boyfriend? Or have you been pretty consistent about keeping yourself at a distance from people to let it happen again?

If she does have BPD, most of what she told you are lies. It is very likely that she is either talking to multiple guys, or that she has had several other guys pay as much attention to her as you are doing now, before you came along.

Yeah, just recently actually. I got blocked by a long-time internet friend and was really sad about it so I came on Jow Forums to sadpost and saw some dude talking about how he was lonely and wanted a boywife. I was really fucking sad so I added him and impulsively moved across the country to live with him like a month later. It was really great until I had to come home for some family stuff and he ghosted me for no reason. That was like a month ago and I still haven't recovered emotionally.

that's also sad, give yourself a little time to recover from that, i'm sure it would affect anyone like it's hitting you. Sounds like you rushed things a little too much, which probably has to do with your BPD, but I think you can still stop and think "am I going too fast here?" That'll keep you from moving into a guy's house in a month. Give you a little more time to figure out if he's right for you and if you're right for him.

The sad truth is I'm just not a good judge of character. I'll fall for anyone who is nice to me.

me and my gf both have BPD and our relationship is fucking awesome, we are completely obsessed with each other

might just be a thing you have to learn through some tough lessons, or just be kind of aloof and defensive until someone can break through.

Dunno if you have BPD though. The quick attachment is only half of it, the other half is the pushing people away phase, and aside from ghosting people online before they get close enough to be able to hurt you, which to me doesn't sound like BPD but just general trust issues, you don't really have that. Unless you haven't written about it yet.

I can't wait until you both start abusing one another.

I don't think I could ever go anywhere near anyone else with the disorder, maybe that makes me a bit of a hypocrite. I talked to someone with it once before I was diagnosed and it felt like looking in a mirror.
I've been diagnosed, ghosting people isn't a requirement for the disorder. My therapist walked me down the criteria and explained how I met all of them because I refused to believe I had it.

>ghosting people isn't a requirement for the disorder
This. Anons here always talk about being ghosted by people with bpd, but I feel unconvinced about that being due to bpd, considering how weird robots are.

all BPD girls deserve to be abandoned

>I added him and impulsively moved across the country to live with him like a month later. It was really great until I had to come home for some family stuff and he ghosted me for no reason.
lol wow f*moids are so stupid and pathetic

MY THREADS ARE DOING IRON MAN NUMBERS AND I DON'T CARE

>boywife
>femoid
Sounds like you're the stupid one user.
God I remember laughing at the girl for being insane when I first saw that video as a teenager, now I empathize with her.

girls with BPD are known to be batshit crazy and will either ruin you emotionally or continue to haunt you well past the break-up. also they are hugely irritating to deal with in a relationship and require constant attention or else they will flip out at you. best thing cunts like you can do for yourselves is get a lobotomy. then maybe guys won't rightfully avoid you like the plague

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I'd get a lobotomy if it would make someone stick around for once. Wouldn't be the first time I altered my body for someone else.

It means he had bad experience with BPD people before and knows to avoid you faggots like the plague itself. Good for him, I'd have done the same thing.

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it's been 5 years and we are still good, you dont know anything about us

we're both nuts, get jealous over little shit but we make it work, we communicate, we talk about how shit makes us feel, we're probably more functional than most people in relationships

>got a chance to spend a weekend together with a girl I met on discord (we live in different contintents), after talking to her on daily basis for months
>on the second night she has an anxiety attack, told me she has BPD, haven't spoke to me until she left to the airport the next day
>pretty sure she blocked me right after
What did she mean by this?

Have you tried asking her? Was your oy way of getting a hold of her discord?

Idk. Maybe she thought she was going through a very bad time, and didn't want to have that affect you, so she blocked you in order to avoid abusing you. In any case, this was the best case scenario.

That night I stayed awake all night (i made her promise to call me once she get home)
She never did.
I did messaged her a few times since then, but she never replied.
She left what was kinda mine server right the day after, and probably some others we had in common too (all about an autistic videogame tournament)
In the end, too much stress and feeling guilty of kinda "ruining" those places for her, i ended up leaving, so I don't know if she's active or not.

She abusing me? She was the sweetest person I've ever meet.
I admit i might have caught feelings for her, and she probably did for me too. Or maybe she wasn't sincere when she told me she liked me. I don't know anymore.
I really wanted to help her that night, but it just didn't work. Also, almost having a panic attack right in front of her as she leaving the next day didn't help either.
I just wish she's ok now

>She abusing me? She was the sweetest person I've ever meet.
That's what I would have said too before it happened. To this day, she is still the sweetest most kind person I've ever met, but one day she seemed different. It was like she had turned into a different person. Someone without empathy, focused only on causing pain. I was horrified.
Thankfuly I broke up before she could do any real harm, but it still fucked me up for a whole year.

>Or maybe she wasn't sincere when she told me she liked me
She probably was, but people with bpd don't feel love like we do. They feel a strong sense of attachment to the person they are with, but it doesn't derive from compatibility and actually enjoying the person for who they are. Ask one why they even like you, and they will probably give you a list of superficial things.

>I just wish she's ok now
Same, user.

>but it doesn't derive from compatibility and actually enjoying the person for who they are.
I don't know, I think we clicked a lot since day one. We had some hobbies in common, similar taste in movies and music (but different enough to appreciate new stuff)

>Ask one why they even like you, and they will probably give you a list of superficial things
This could be applied to anyone? Why do you like someone?

>You're a soul sucking monster that gets validation by causing others to suffer. You're incapable of genuine love or compassion and you're inherently evil.
That's what he meant by that.

>hobbies, movies, music
those are superficial, user

Stop bumping this attention whoring thread, you dummies

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>I don't know, I think we clicked a lot since day one
Maybe there was actually some compatibility between you two, coincidentally, which is pretty great. However, I can tell you for sure that people with bpd don't pick partners on the basis of compatibility. All the ones I've met haven't.

>This could be applied to anyone? Why do you like someone?
It depends on the person. I would point out aspects of their personality I enjoy, things that they do that I appreciate. For example: I like one of my friends because he is intensely loyal. I know I can count on him for anything. I love his random sense of humour, his cynical attitude about the world, his empathy, his open-mindedness, and that I know he will never judge me.
When I asked the bpd girl I was with, she responded by telling me she liked the degree I was taking in uni, my looks, and some other stuff I don't remember.

Not everyone with BPD is like that, it sounds like she was just a shallow whore. When I love someone I can easily list hundreds of things about them that I love. I filled a notebook with them once once for an ex on valentine's day.

idk. We just weren't very compatible, so I doubt there was anything about me she liked besides the fact that I was always nice to her and always paid attention to her.

I just wish people with bpd weren't abusive. I once had to reject a girl I really liked because I didn't want her to hurt me eventually. I even had to lie and tell her I didn't like her, in order to get her to accept the rejection. It felt bad, bro.

We aren't all abusive, some of us take the pain out on ourselves. That can be hard to deal with too though.

I feel as though if I were to try to get a person with bpd to stop harming themselves, they would harm me instead, but I would feel terrible if I didn't try to help them.

>it sounds like she was just a shallow whore
No, she wasn't.
You can think I'm in denial, and maybe you're right. But she really was a good person.
>some of us take the pain out on ourselves
She did told me that night night that she cut herself and showed me the scares. I'm pretty sure that me being there was the only reason she didn't hurt herself that night.

I wish I had someone who cared enough to save me from myself.

idk anything about his bitch. But I know that playing Captain Save-a-hoe with bpd girls almost always ends up a disaster. My gf has issues though, (not bpd) so maybe she'll be an exception. But exceptions are, by definition, exceptional.

I cared enough about the girl I rejected to agonise about the possibility of harming herself. I truly and definitely wanted to save her, but I knew that if I did I wouldn't be able to let go, and I would end up just as hurt as her.

I miss when lain threads used to be about systemspace almost exclusively.

>> they say nobody has given her the time like I have and that she wants to talk more
lies, all lies

It's Borderline personality disorder
Originally

so he ghosted you before you ghosted him, in essence
oh no
despair