Hi Jow Forums

You have a nice voice. Can you say:
>I love you, Matthew, I want to be with you forever and spend all my time with you. Youre the best boyfriend Ive ever had. I wish I could hold you in my arms forever and cuddle with you every night.

Sounds like your using your little girl voice, I wonder how you sound when your mad

Also, can you say it with this mindset.
>You've just been sent back to earth with this information given to you by aliens. You know that your words are being heard by every living creature on earth. Sound nervous but enthusiastic and excited. Also, move your arms a lot while you're talking

Please don't do that to yourself user.

clyp.it/wj4q5b15?token=0dd8f317adfb8cef251fd081a33e622c

Modern problems require modern solutions. So take this outstanding move and shove it up your Wednesday my dude.

Lovely, thank you.

Please Im beginning you. I always imagine what it would be like to hear that. Please grant me this one wish

how much do i have to pay you to be my e-gf for one night

hahaha jesus christ man
you people could have shown me more respect, treated me better, asked for my knowledge or guidance more, treated me more like a senior and maybe I wouldn't have been as ready to tear your fucking heads off

Can you say;
My diary, desu?

"The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race" PLEASE ORIGANALI

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I just want you to enthusiastically tell me your favourite dinosaur and then ask me what mine is
this is what I like more than lewd

Say "huh? you want to give me a foot rub? *giggles* okay, here, rub my feet! *giggles* you really like doing that, don't you? *giggles* you're so dirty!"

and can you say it in a convincing chinese accent

>say this
For us there are only two possiblities: either we remain German or we come under the thumb of the Jews. This latter must not occur; even if we are small, we are a force. A well-organized group can conquer a strong enemy. If you stick close together and keep bringing in new people, we will be victorious over the Jews.

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clyp.it/z1syiatu?token=f5a808a51c1cc086f206b9ebefdfdb41

Wish granted!

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am i scary

Thank you. It was perfect. My heart is racing now.

Say "Know that when your finger is on the trigger my tongue will be within reach to lick your nails... and my gaze will always meet the eyes of those you slay even if yours do not... knowing this, do you still wish to persist?"

>The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles. Freeman and slave, patrician and plebeian, lord and serf, guild-master and journeyman, in a word, oppressor and oppressed, stood in constant opposition to one another, carried on an uninterrupted, now hidden, now open fight, a fight that each time ended, either in a revolutionary reconstitution of society at large, or in the common ruin of the contending classes.

Please and thank you

Can u sing a little? Maybe along the lines of "Ashes to ashes, funk to funky
We know Major Tom's a junkie
Strung out in heaven's high
Hitting an all-time low"

Can you say
>If you suppose anything which lies out of your command to be good or evil, your missing the one or falling into the other will unavoidably make you a malcontent against the gods, and cause you to hate those people whom you either know or suspect to be instrumental in your misfortune.

clyp.it/ubgvdduy?token=cafece449af0fa058d88def4b652c18a

Yes you gotta do that

POLACKS IFFY, UH, DIRLY GOT THE STIFFY, UH
GOT THE BLICKY, UH, DRUM, IT HOLDS FIFTY, UH
DIRLY GANG!
I'LL SEE Y'ALL LATER, SUUWOO!

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clyp.it/gxaq3hay?token=7ad338de2aa4b20741f332f8ac0920ed

"Anti-Semitism is a Socialist movement, only nobler and purer in form than Social Democracy."

Stupid /lit/ shitposter you fucking idiot I hate you I HATE YOU I HATE YOU STOP POSTING IT IN EVERY THREAD

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I will now also post her audio in every thread

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Thank you! Perfect shitposting tool

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Any line from "Something in the Way" by Nirvana
youtube.com/watch?v=q4gMfdfRRnA

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asshole, originally

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I just want to hear this: "Rod, your hair its really messy!" in the most enthusiastic way possible. thanks

clyp.it/1qygjcny?token=c937ce90a7f44a18f268740e9c21beb4

Ok ok ok
>Rise and shine, Mister Freeman - rise and... shine. Not that I wish... to imply that you have been sleeping on... the job. No one is more deserving of a rest, and all the effort in the world would have gone to waste until... well... let's just say your hour has... come again. The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world. So wake up, Mister Freeman... wake up and smell the ashes.

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Actually no wait, can you say "Rod, your messy hair is greasy again. Go wash it, it's fucking disgusting. Christ on a Bike...." in the most disgusted voice you can muster. Thanks!

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Maybe a little poetry? :
dreamt a dream! What can it mean?
And that I was a maiden Queen
Guarded by an Angel mild:
Witless woe was ne'er beguiled!

And I wept both night and day,
And he wiped my tears away;
And I wept both day and night,
And hid from him my heart's delight.

So he took his wings, and fled;
Then the morn blushed rosy red.
I dried my tears, and armed my fears
With ten-thousand shields and spears.

Soon my Angel came again;
I was armed, he came in vain;
For the time of youth was fled,
And grey hairs were on my head.

sing : "Who wants to smoke with the whole damn crew?! I do I do I do I do!"

Has I in the begginning, please desuu

But I wash my hair user. it's just really hard to fix my cowlicks

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Could you say "Treat your cardboard box with care. Take care of the box and it'll take care of you... Don't think of it as just another box. Treat it with love... Don't be rough."

vocaroo.com/i/s122LAkPamvZ

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you're terrifying

"I love you, Gina. You're the best online friend I've ever had and I really hope we can have that sleepover one day. I forgive you for all the boy stuff."

thank you that was super cute, you helped ease my grumpiness today
you have a really nice voice for this sort of stuff

Please op. I need to hear this

stop pretending to be me, origannly

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could you say this please.
Madness can take many forms, but none so contemptible as man's belief in a mythology of his own making. A world view buttressed by dogmatic desperation invariably leads to single-minded fanaticism, and a need to do terrible things in the name of righteousness. This man is an animal - rabid, destructive, and incapable of nuanced understanding.

clyp.it/ialxc0da?token=fe5bf3855c4d10f684dca753e2f6277e

Maybe sum horror?
I have stood knee deep in mud and bone, and filled my lungs with mustard gas. I have seen two brothers fall. I have lain with holy wars and copulated with the autumnal fallout. I have dug trenches for the refugees; I have murdered dissidents where the ground never thaws, and starved the masses into faith. A child's shadow burnt into the brickwork. A house of skulls in the jungle. The innocent! The innocent, Mandus, trod and bled and gassed and starved and beaten and murdered and enslaved. THIS is your coming century! They will eat them Mandus, they will make pigs of you all and they will bury their snouts into your ribs and they will EAT YOUR HEARTS! Hope its not too long :(

clyp.it/c52qvkmv?token=f7504ca2d0e8a1f8013c2462401feb9a

Can you say:
Today is March 11th 2019 and this is your daily Half-Life 3 update. There is no news about Half-Life 3. And that has been your daily Half-Life 3 update for march 11th 2019.

Could you say: "Why are we still here? Just to suffer? Every night, I can feel my leg... and my arm... even my fingers. The body I've lost... the comrades I've lost... won't stop hurting... It's like they're all still there. You feel it too, don't you?" please?

clyp.it/h5cxe1z1?token=e03ddca0d2a6039cb0fe074baf670296

SREEEEEE

What? Oh shit? That is bitchin.
I am usually into JOI stuff so maybe saying something like
Be a good boy and cum for your queen and give me a countdown from like 10 and then say I am a good boy and stuff. You know what I mean? Please and thank you.

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>God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? What was holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our knives: who will wipe this blood off us? What water is there for us to clean ourselves? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we have to invent? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we ourselves not become gods simply to appear worthy of it?

Tysm

Fucking based, thank you.

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Only good part in this game, do this OP.

Kek, wasn't meant to be read.

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this will go down in the shitposting annals forevermore

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Could you say "Why don't you take a seat over there and start explaining to me what you were planning on doing here tonight" Please and thank you

clyp.it/c1vdx5ds?token=ac640bc3041271ae8b1d387f06c6aa93

Could you say: "If we are socialists, then we must definitely be anti-semites... and the opposite, in that case, is Materialism and Mammonism, which we seek to oppose... how, as a socialist, can you not be an anti-semite?"

And now they love it, they can abuse and beat up everybody and nobody can stop 'em. Nobody can stop 'em! They're having their way with America! They want our guns! And if you're not with 'em cops and military, then you will declare that you are with the Republic now. And don't tell me that I'm a weirdo 'cause I'm upset about this, and I should only go get upset about my favorite football team winning or losing. Listen, I know what tyranny means, I know the bankers are putting poison in our food and water. I know the bankers have stolen 8.5 trillion. I know we're under the War Powers Act. I know they're hurting us, I know they're carrying out New Word Order, I know they staged those terror attacks. You know what it's like to gut up to this and go out every day and go past the peer pressure and come out day one and say 9/11 was an inside job and lose most of the radio stations I was on? You know what it's like to go to sleep every night knowing you work for a bunch of psychotic killers, and you bastards are probably gonna end up killing me one day?! You know what it's like knowing you've ruined my life?! You know what it's like, you sons of bitches?! I'm tired of your crap! You commit evil, you're part of an evil system, and we're standing up against you! And the Republic is going to defeat you in the end! Some of us won't make it personally through this, but a lot of us are. And in the end you are gonna be brought to justice for all the kids you kidnapped for CPS, all you CPS workers, all you corrupt bureaucrats, all of you that've had your way with innocent children over and over again, who think your evil is invincible, you're not invincible and God is gonna deal with you, and you are cursed to hell!

say "today your friend tom invited me over to his house. I thought it was just a bootycall, but no, he had a surprise for me! turns out he had invited the whole office. I was a bit shocked at first, but I managed to fuck all 23 of them. it took us some hours, and they had to take turns with me, but I personally made all of them cum. how does it feel going to work tomorrow knowing all your friends fucked your little girl huh?"

I need a "Footfags seriously need to fuck off forever. Trannies and gays too."

You legit sound like you're 13 or something though.

please read
you will never get to fuck Charles II of Spain
>you will never slowly kiss him then attempt to bite his lower lip only to accidentally sink your top row of teeth into his mouth due to his monstrous underbite
>you will never slowly kiss down his body, your head gently stopping on his soft hairy chest so you can hear the tired grinding sound of his peppercorn heart desperately pumping blood to his freakish deformed penis
>you will never feel the drool falling onto your skull as his body quivers and his peppercorn heart beats so quickly that you can almost taste the pieces of it on your well seasoned spanish dinner
>you will never get a mild whiff from his gangrenous intestines as you kiss down across his belly only to imagine how sexy his cheesey cock must smell compared to this
>you will never make your way to his penis and start suckling on his coal stocking
>you will never hear him struggling to tell you how much he loves you for being the only woman to make him cum
>his tiny black testicle will never struggle to shoot cum out over your face that you instantly gobble down, to be greeted by the taste of sulfur

If it's not too much effort, please.

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Can I get:

Daniel, I need to confess something to you. Im in love with you, Daniel. Ever since I met you Ive always thought you were so cute and good looking. Now after spending time with you Ive fallen in love with you. Daniel, I need to know what you think about me and if we could start dating. I promise I will be the best for you. I love you, Daniel

daniel has no vagina to put penis into

Can you also add
>Oh, Daniel? Yeah, uh it was just a joke lol. My friends dared me to do it haha. No hard feelings, right?

I sense a Jew in this thread

clyp.it/d4j5y2ji?token=6c3d9de0c434f2a19e3bc54819da9f09

NOOOO FUCK OFF. DONT RUIN IT

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>Haha, Daniel.. did you really think I'd love someone like YOU? No offence, lol. It's just that you're uh... y'know. Nevermind.

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clyp.it/54qmw0ki?token=1d6c9a3ec2b73e5d220a1a364f599e3a

It's ok Gina!!

Thank you my love, I will make this my alarm tone so I can start each day with you

say "gonna cry? Gonna piss your pants maybe? Maybe shit and cum?"

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Can you say ; SUCH IS A SAMURAI SKILL

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now I realize how attractive a cute voice is
what the fuck, I just want to keep listening even if it has nothing to do with me

MY DEMONS ARE A BIT DIFFERENT

Chummer, I used to live in Chiba city; used to hit decks to fly through the neurotic neon netspace that'd foam at the mouth, see cowboys turn necrotic, fingers like spiders, under-conscious, brain-mesh fried from reverse-jolt, speed pills, just watchin', watchin' the vistas, colors beyond the eye-limit, watching the cosmos bounce like bitches, connected in constantly, perpetually, eternal, into the liquid electric life voltage surging through atrophy veins light of the crystal plugged, hooked, jacked into your brain-mush, straight to the cortex, cerebellum, cerebrum, that becomes = the matrix, the web, the Net, then shot out, unwanted fetus, a cumshot, shat from the silver highway, into the pork, the flesh, the meat world, back into the bottom of stale beer foam at the lowest part of glass, cherry burning my fingers, so long out of the flesh and back into the meat, feeling again, the meatworld, warm, drunk, tired, a deathwish on my breath, hustle, bustle, of crowds, crammed into sharp spaces between sharp eyes, knives, words, drunk and stumbled, hustled by cheap hookers, buyers and sellers, stench of yourself, cheap tobacco, cheap beer, cheap Chinese perfume, cheap Chinese women, every night, drunk to the gills a bath of cheap cheap cheap cheap whiskey and soda water crushed under those 4 pack of the Seven Stars pulled from a sweaty pocket, hidden in a smoldering sock, one in my ear, at the arcade, trying to reclaim old madness, cause the liver is shot, no more pills, can't get drunk enough, lusting for the luster of the web, the spider's web, old days can't return, dip the dip and split through more crowds, on the street, dark and wet like my eyes, and eek the glisten, seven samurai cut, silver flashes, through some poor street mage, couldn't pay me enough for that corporate run, sold my soul too in a different manner, lost to be correct to the electric goddess? fried my brain-mad with the speed and the booze and the net, liver on file in the morning in the morgue.

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