I was molested at a young age, it wasn't a relative that did it, thankfully, but it still broke me as a person and I've lived with self hatred all my life. Why is this? Why do we suffer so much internally with ourselves? Why isn't just the anger and hate directed at the person that did it toward us? I hate that I have to feel this way, I can't get over it, I can't get close to people. I feel like such a broken piece of trash, what happened to me made me unlike other people, like my brain chemistry was altered and just turned me into a fucking freak.
As someone raped when 12, you can get over it, partially at least. I let go for the most part and from there the flashbacks slowed down, not to mention even when I have them it's never the same intensity as before, in fact, I am happy with my life as it is. You can heal from this, believe it or not.
Noah Miller
I was molested before I knew anything about sex, I was just 5 years old, I didn't even experience it as a trauma when it happened, but it did change me.
Jason Watson
Same here. I didn't know much other than 4th grade class saying that babies were made when you stuck your dick in a woman's vagina. Up until that point I honestly thought it was like pissing. At the time I repressed it, I mean, I remembered but couldn't see it's significance, but I became depressed, stopped trusting people and thinking I was worthless, which lead to a lot of suicide attempts (thankfully, being 12 I was incompetent)
Nathaniel Collins
Why do we feel this way? Why is it that this happens every time? Why do we hate ourselves so much?
After I was molested, I had a fairly normal childhood, I wasn't a normal child, I was hypersexual and did a lot of weird shit as a kid but I still hadn't internalized it in any way, I just had a ton of anxiety, self hatred, no self confidence, nothing. But when puberty came and I actually matured sexually for real, that's when my brain entirely broke down and I never recovered.
I don't understand, it's so fucking unfair, we should only have anger towards the piece of shit that stole our lives, but no, we have to hate ourselves, we have to be freaks of nature, we have to feel fucked up no matter how many times we're fed that we're not. It never helps hearing those words, maybe it's because I've built up this wall and I never make myself vulnerable... I don't know
John Jackson
>I've lived with self hatred all my life why on earth is that your reaction to being molested
Wyatt Lewis
You just learn to deal. I was able to realize it was not my fault soon after I found out I was raped, partially because it hadn't sunk in until a year later. Then the flashbacks started. In the end I get to live a happy life and my wealth of experience (even if they sucked) contributes to my wisdom. I'm not proud of being raped but I'm a god damned survivor and it's gonna take a lot more than that to bring me down, and that fills me with pride, because I not only lived, but moved on mostly from the past and even beat the depression being raped brought. The best thing you can do is turn your past suffering into fuel. It's a well documented phenomenon that rape victims end up hating themselves irrationally, for not being strong enough or for not trying harder to escape their fate or stuff like that. I've had thoughts like that, but my rational side helped me realize there was nothing I could do about it.
Cooper Morales
I don't know. Part of it is feeling sick and twisted, broken and different from everybody. But it is abstract, it doesn't just go back to being molested, like that event is why I hate myself but that is the backbone of it.
John Baker
what does it mean if I've shown every symptom of being molested from a very young age but have no recollection of ever being molested
Connor Bailey
Let me preface this by saying I genuinely don't want to be disrespectful here, I just want to understand.
I've never been raped/molested (neither did I ever have sex) and I don't really understand how just the act of a penis thrusting into a vagina can scar you for life? Sure, when they beat you up, injure you in any way I can understand that you'd get a trauma but if someone wasn't violent in the process, isn't it just like normal sex but without the feelings and such?
Parker Evans
>only girls can get raped are you stupid or something?
Brandon Cox
>You just learn to deal >I was able to realize it was not my fault I've done this too. But it hasn't helped me, I can't be proud, it doesn't matter that people know me as a nice and gentle person, it doesn't help that my actions here in life have never been volatile or with bad intent, it doesn't help that I'm "Good" I always feel sick, like I have no pride, I feel inferior to everybody, entitled to nothing.
Mason Smith
I was a guy, but the harmful part isn't the physical, sure it hurt like fuck, but that's not the issue. The issue is that being raped is like your very control over your body is being wrestled away from you, your will is being denied in your own body, the one place that's supposed to be yours alone. It's a bit hard to explain but can you get what I'm getting at? The traumatizing part is being forced to lose your control over your own body in a matter of speaking. Nothing wrong with that question, I for one, am not offended.
Lucas Perez
Still am a guy I said was by
Robert Moore
When you're forced into that position before reaching sexual maturity, it fucks with your brain because you don't actually have a response to it, you haven't developed that part of your brain. So imagine the effect it has on a child to have that natural maturity stolen from them.
Sex and Sexuality become totally separated, you don't understand yourself, it's like losing part of yourself. At least that is what it felt like for me to be molested as a 5 year old. I can't tell you what it is like to go through it when you're older, I'm sure the experience itself is worse when you're older because you actually have somewhat of a grasp of what is happening at the time.
Also I should state that I'm a man.
Isaiah Ross
I was molested by my boss/mentor of 10 years. Also beaten and emotionally abused. I learned (ironically, from his very teaching) that it means there's something wrong with HIM, not me. Abusers are the broken ones.
Ryan Adams
Why should you not be proud? You've gone through something that would have a lot of people killing themselves and yet you're strong enough to remain with us here and now. Hell, instead of lashing out against the world, you always seeked to be kind and good to others. That's not just nice, that's exceptional, downright heroic. You've done good, no matter what your brain tells you.
Hudson Clark
But I don't feel good, there are moments where I try to tell myself that I'm a good person, and sometimes it is comforting because I can genuinely feel like "Hey, I'm really not a bad person" but it never lasts, it's fleeting at best, then it is back to feeling like a sick freak.
Xavier Wilson
lool ur gay u got moleasted
Easton Brooks
Fighting self hatred is tricky, but what you need to do is start to accept most of your flaws as well as forgive your mistakes and realize they don't make you a bad person. Realize that they don't outweight the good. That way, whenever you start thinking you suck, you can realize there is no evidence while there is plenty of evidence to the contrary.
I believe humans are animals and deserve to be treated as much. Some humanoids are below human expectations, and are subhumans.
Colton Jackson
I doubt I would have been bisexual if I hadn't been molested.
Samuel King
Back when I was in 2nd grade, older friend kn 6th used to make me blow him off and sometimes try to put his dick up my ass. Never felt any discomfort over it for some reason. This went on 'till 5th grade when I moved to a boarding school.
What I worry about sometimes is that I hear all these victims talk about how much pain they've gone through over it but it never really phased me at all which makes me wonder if it still counts if you never went through anything negative over it, although like I think my bisexuality is linked to what happened when I was a kid
Brayden Gonzalez
You might've repressed it or maybe you're the rare exception who doesn't get traumatized over it. If it's the latter, power to you my friend.
Chase Hughes
Even if you weren't traumatized, you do accept that it changed you, and whether or not you view that change as something negative, it is something that was out of your hand, something HE did to you.
I'm glad it wasn't traumatizing, and I'm glad you don't view it as a horrible experience or feel any pain. But make no mistake, that person used you, what he did was fucked up,
Easton Cooper
>feeling different for being molested user you're more diffferent if you HAVENT been molested
Lucas Lewis
Someone is forcing you to do something you don't want. Your feelings don't matter in that moment. Especially for a child, it teaches them that it doesn't matter if they want it or not, people are just going to do what they want to them and there's nothing they can do about it. And it probably hurts like fuck too. Honestly, how out of touch do you have to be to not understand why being raped is traumatic?
Wyatt Cruz
because the "bad" is societal/exterior. Just look t all the post telling you how bad it is. Now imagine that when you were younger and impressionable.
