Self improvement

Ryder White
Ryder White

phone interview earlier this week
in person interview tomorrow
24 years old and only worked one job, been unemployed for over a year

what are you guys trying to accomplish?

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Anthony Johnson
Anthony Johnson

Trying to find meaning to work towards...

Zachary Kelly
Zachary Kelly

Good luck OP, hope this works out for u lad

Matthew Ortiz
Matthew Ortiz

tfw just had a job interview today
it'd be part time but I'd work 1st shift
Is this a better or worse idea than staying at the place where I work now, where I work full-time but 2nd shift?

Angel Williams
Angel Williams

what are you guys trying to accomplish?
I'd like to learn meditation

Logan Gutierrez
Logan Gutierrez

Also, I'd like to add that I'm on job probation and I think they want me to quit, so I'm kinda really looking for another job before I get fired.

Ethan Hernandez
Ethan Hernandez

Nofap and reading. Trying to get through most of the Western Canon while I'm still young. I'm still at the Greeks after about two years, but at least I've got some motivation now. Am at day 0 of nofap again unfortunately. It's hard.

Grayson Fisher
Grayson Fisher

Work-wise, I have an assessment tomorrow with a community improvement place that's going to help me find a new job and sort out any benefits I should be receiving. That sort of stuff.
Personally, I'm trying to find anything that will stop me from staring at the ceiling for 12h a day and eventually crying myself to sleep. I've been trying to fix this one for 5 years and made no progress.

Justin Cook
Justin Cook

nothing desu
trying to study hard but im such a brainlet compared to anyone on r9k

Nathan James
Nathan James

I just signed up for getting a pilot's licence. I don't think I'll get a job out of it but it's something I've always wanted to do and this is the first step towards doing something besides working, playing games and sleeping

Henry Richardson
Henry Richardson

I am trying to buy a truck that can haul a camper since I work remote. But I am crippled whenever I think about spending that much money, how the fuck do people decide with all the choices of used trucks?

Ian Cooper
Ian Cooper

What do you mean you signed up? Doesn't that mean spending thousands of dollars over decades to get experience? I wanted to do that but am waiting until I am stable.

Ryder Green
Ryder Green

first time turning on leisure computer in days
made new friend
went on tinder date (went well)
next date I'm going to smash for sure (hopefully)
studying like a good boy
almost one year sober from weed
still haven't started going to the gym but I've taken up walking an extra couple of kilometres
taking my medicine (concerta. can recommend)
working on my art commission
haven't touched jacked off in 2-3 days
reading a bit more (right now I'm reading "Waiting for Godot" can also recommend)

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Jose Miller
Jose Miller

Same here.
Everything just seems so pointless.

There is nothing important enough to work towards.

Kayden Watson
Kayden Watson

what are you guys trying to accomplish?

Fuck knows.

Need some help here boys, I've back at the gym and fitness is going VERY well I haven't been this healthy in years BUT I'm lost, utterly and completely, today I was just standing wondering what I could do, house is clean now, chores are done, gyms making progress, I'm finally at the point I need to deal with the big issues, making money and studying again, but I'm unsure where to go from here, it's from scratch.

Julian Barnes
Julian Barnes

I just got a job offer:

$130,000/year salary
$13,000/year bonus
$21,000 in stock vesting in one year, more afterwards
$10,000 signing bonus

After all this unemployment it's a fucking godsend.

Jordan Cook
Jordan Cook

I've signed up for a course that goes over 6 months, it's fairly casually doing a flight every few weeks and theory. It does cost a bit but I've been saving up for a while now

Jayden Collins
Jayden Collins

What do you do? I make 80k as a software engineer and it's rich here in the deep south but I always wonder if I'm holding back.

Lincoln Turner
Lincoln Turner

Are you a football player or some shit?

Jackson Scott
Jackson Scott

I'm also a software engineer, full-stack. I live in SF but this job would be back east.

David Flores
David Flores

Will you actually be doing coding or just high level shit? I've been lazy in a position that's mostly what I would consider IT consulting with pseudo languages but hate the idea of actually coding again. Thought I might get a pmp and just be another useless pm.

Brandon Ward
Brandon Ward

I actually enjoy working both as a manager and as an IC. This job would be more coding than managing but I've been told that I'll be on a fast-track for promotion if I can live up to my interview performance.

Jose Ramirez
Jose Ramirez

Just left my first full time job after 2 weeks and 2 days because it was a shitty startup company and they gave me an impossible amount of work to do so I left.
Applying for other things for now, but I've learned to NEVER go to a startup business ever again.
To be safe I'd say avoid any company with less than 50 people.

Brody Watson
Brody Watson

You just have to find it. Nothing has any merit if you think about it. Nobody has to live if they don't want to, we don't actually have to do anything. But for some reason we just kept pushing, and we don't even know why

Gavin Butler
Gavin Butler

tfw uninstaled discord a week ago
Thank god. It took me like 2 years to realize that there's no one worth talking to on that whole shitty app.
maybe if Im antagonizing enough people will think I'm cool
hello did I mention I'm a girl. No this isn't a fake anime voice it's just how I talk teepee
actually I'm a natsoc bro
Unless your on a server woth peiple you know irl, It's litterally just a friend simulator

Logan Phillips
Logan Phillips

Already a wagecuck, what is there to accomplish other than working your ass off day and night for shit pay... would want a better job if could get one.

Easton Flores
Easton Flores

Good job faggot hope your mom is proud of you

Carson Scott
Carson Scott

Good Thread.
I'm trying to figure out just what which shortcoming I should focus on fixing as I have so many fucking shortcomings that I don't know where to start.

Also trying to make a short film...

Have you read GTD: Getting Things Done. There's a novel approach to figuring out 'meaning' in that before it gets to the productivity stuff.

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Zachary Lee
Zachary Lee

Everything? For now get saving, start working out and reading and take it from there, work is just work, put yourself out there and something might come along

Ayden Green
Ayden Green

I've had 4 interviews for internships in the last month and failed every one of them. There's always someone better than you

Hunter Phillips
Hunter Phillips

The easiest one for a confidence boost then tackling the next issue even stronger

Easton Wood
Easton Wood

Gone to gym a few times
Tried a machine I've never used before
Do some goofy crossfit-tier shit on it
Hear laughter behind me

Guess I'll go find a new gym then

Jaxon Perry
Jaxon Perry

What do you mean by 'confidence' - what specific domain would I need to improve it with?
And then how will I decide what the next issue to fix will be?

Eli Sullivan
Eli Sullivan

git gud and show them they are faggots

Jace King
Jace King

Pity this thread will get lost in a sea of discord threads and self-important whine threads from robots who treat this board like their own personal diary for the excruciatingly insignificant minutia of their life.

Julian Moore
Julian Moore

Painfully originally true

Jackson Allen
Jackson Allen

How do I turn myself into a go-getter? I've never had to work hard in my life and have literally no discipline when it comes to anything.

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Camden Smith
Camden Smith

Firstly figure out why you wan to be a go-getter: what's your "goal" in life. Figure that out first (and it may be a long slow process with a lot of painful self-realizations)
Then understand why that particular goal means something to you, why it is important to you.
Then quantify how badly you want it.
Now you start looking at one critical area that could help you get that goal, choose something that is immediately actionable. Don't fall for the "my new life starts today" meme - shit takes time - you don't go from lazy to Type-A overnight, you need to slowly reprogram yourself. The way to do that is by "little victories".

Here's a neuroscientist talking about successive small victories in the context of testosterone
youtube.com/watch?v=6JHWSP-W0FY

I can't find the video, but Arnold Schwarzenegger speaks about "little victories". Two lines stick with me
Sleep 6 hours a day. But you say "Arnold, I need to sleep 8 hours a day... what do I do?" I say: sleep faster. Every day get up 10 minutes earlier. Little victories.
Muhammad Ali was asked "how many pushups do you do?" and he said "I don't know, I only start counting when it hurts"
The most important part is keep your inertia about you. That's why you have little victories, you build up a rhythm, a pace - it's when you stop, when you take a rest that you fall into ruts and you stop making progress.

Most important - do something right now, like right fucking now - write out a to-do list or something. NOW!

Jaxson Lewis
Jaxson Lewis

My homie bought a f150at auction for a thousand put a few thousand dollars to make it really solid. Bought a sweet camper for 3 and we travelled America doing temp work and shitting at Walmarts. It was pretty sweet

Daniel Roberts
Daniel Roberts

what's your "goal" in life
im not sure i can answer this. the way i am currently, i don't feel any passion for anything and don't really have a strong interest in anything either. do you think i should find small things to improve upon and keep adding more and more things until i find something im passionate about or do you think i should take anything im slightly interested and try to build on that?

Asher Stewart
Asher Stewart

hmmm*

*mmmm do you senpai

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Adrian Cooper
Adrian Cooper

wow that answered everything. thanks

Jordan Price
Jordan Price

I don't expect you to have an answer right now, the whole point is you're meant to start investigating.
Why do you think you should be a "go-getter"? What does it look like to you if you had to 'picture it'? Why would you enjoy it?

do you think i should find small things to improve upon and keep adding more and more things until i find something im passionate about or do you think i should take anything im slightly interested and try to build on that?
Kinda in-between the two, the idea is to have a sort of goal on the horizon to move towards and then start improving incrementally. If the goal changes or you get more clarity on what you really want, that's great.
However without a interim goal you may fall off the track because once you complete a task, or a goal you sort of go "okay, now what?" - rest, goof off. And lose all the inertia you built up.

Jaxon Brown
Jaxon Brown

Okay I get what you're saying. Right now the only thing pushing me to be a go-getter is happiness. I know I'm not happy now and I feel like I would be happy as a go-getter, but I feel like I will find a larger goal sooner or later. Until then I've got a few smaller goals that I want to work on so I will try and do my best managing those.

Brandon Adams
Brandon Adams

I know I'm not happy now and I feel like I would be happy as a go-getter,
Why, what are you basing that on? I want to know why happiness is associated with being a 'go-getter' - what will you be actually doing as a go-getter that will make you happy?
I want you to understand what the assumptions are (and verify that they're accurate) that equates the proverbial go-getter with happiness?

Isaiah Wright
Isaiah Wright

I have been trying to get outside or active physically at least one hour a day.
Last few days have been pushups and situps. Other stretches and bodyweight workouts.
Practice my guitar and trumpet as much as I can.

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Luke Baker
Luke Baker

I don't do anything all day and after long periods of time when I do this my brain feels numb and I feel unexcited about anything. In the few periods when I've done anything substantial my brain felt active and alive. I also need to be a go-getter in some way because I'm in uni and if I continue as I am then I'll be forced to drop out. In general being a go-getter seems like the happier way to live life since I think go-getters are more in control of where they're going in life and people who aren't go-getters are almost watching their life go by in a sense.

Ryder Perry
Ryder Perry

Reading/listening to audiobooks and a lot of stuff on youtube.
Trying to change my mindset and the passive program I run on all the time, one of my eventual goals is to become a millionaire.

Christian Torres
Christian Torres

I use to feel the same way, and still do to a large extent. I think it's a problem with our western culture in general, it doesn't provide a community. If you're looking for a friendly one (shameless shill), join our Discord here:
/UX5ybD

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Landon Perry
Landon Perry

because I'm in uni
Why are you in Uni? What's the intent behind going? Why is dropping out a bad thing?

In general being a go-getter seems like the happier way to live life since I think go-getters are more in control of where they're going in life and people who aren't go-getters are almost watching their life go by in a sense.
But WHY though, what would you be controlling, what would you be doing that would make you happy!?
You see - being a go-getter isn't the solution to your problems, it's a (potential) means of solving them, stop thinking about being productive and start thinking about what you would DO with that productivity.

For example, if someone says
"I want to be great at delivering speeches"
We ask: Why?
"because then everybody would pay attention to me?"
Whose "everybody"?
"Girls"
Why do you want girls to pay attention to you?
"Because I'm lonely"

See now how we can draw a direct arrow between "public speaking" and "loneliness".

Another example, someone says
"I want to be able to climb trees"
Why?
"Because I felt really sad when my kid's kite got stuck in a tree and I couldn't get it out"
Why?
"Because it made me realize that my being overweight meant that I wasn't able to spend quality time with my kids"

See now we can draw a direct line between climbing and relationship with this parent and his kids?
No, not all of them will be social. But that's just what first came to mind.

Jayden Ramirez
Jayden Ramirez

thanks user, this place has really helped me through a dark place in my life. Some really nice people on here!

Austin Cruz
Austin Cruz

I'm trying to find the goldpill

Hudson Carter
Hudson Carter

I guess I would be controlling my college life. Doing assignments that I would usually put off and studying more consistently so I can build up discipline. I could drop out, but I don't want to. I feel like I need to force myself to get things done now and if I drop out I will have to struggle even more with reaching my academic goals.

I have other goals besides academics like fitness, eating healthier, improving my writing, and improving my programming, but I think my academic goals need to come first because my college assignments are the only reason Im doing anything at all. Once I get assignments and studying under control then I think I can focus on some of those other things and a few of those I can do while I get academic stuff under control.

Not having to panic when things don't get done and being able to live the way I want without constant anxiety about what will come tomorrow is why I want to be a go-getter. I have no other reasons besides what I listed

Jonathan Lee
Jonathan Lee

my academic goals.
What are your academic goals? Why do you want to finish Uni?
Put it this way:
5 years after you graduate - what will you be doing?

Once I get assignments and studying under control then I think I can focus on some of those other things and a few of those I can do while I get academic stuff under control.
Yes, pick your battles, divide and conquer.
But what I'm getting at is that you'll lose the will to do stuff unless you remember why you're doing it, that's why I'm saying forget about being a go-getter for now, and think about WHY it'll bring you closer to happiness.
So again: 5 years after you graduate - what will you be doing? And how will it make you happy?

Gavin Lee
Gavin Lee

5 years after you graduate - what will you be doing? And how will it make you happy?
I don't know. I barely know what I will be doing tomorrow. That's my problem, my life has no structure. I do things on a whim as I feel like doing them. Right now I can't see myself working any job and feeling happy. I don't have any passions and even if I graduate with my current major and get a job in that field then I don't know if I'll be happy. The only reason I think I'll be happy is because I know if I get to the point of graduating then I have succeeded. Graduating is a success in itself to me, but if I get there then it probably means I've been able to manage my workload and I've built some kind of work ethic.

Cameron Lee
Cameron Lee

You mean you've gone to university without having an idea why you're doing it or what fucking career it is going to point you in the direction of?
Why are you there? Why would you put yourself through the stress and the commitment (especially if you "do things on a whim"!) if you don't know why you're even doing it?

Irrespective: see this advice here read "GTD: getting things done"
Basically you start writing down everything you have to do in your life, from 'graduate Uni' to 'do this assignment' to 'lose X amount of weight', even abstract stuff.
Then you start to go line by line and ask "why is this here?" just like we did over here .
I don't want ot hear "I don't have any passions" "I can't see myself doing a job"...
That's why you do the exercise. You interrogate each item one by one until you learn, until it is revealed to you, what is important.

Even stuff like "buy cat food" can reveal something about your life's ambitions because the simple fact that you have a cat says a lot about you and who you want to be than having a dog.

Isaiah Gray
Isaiah Gray

holy fuck bro, based picture.

I thought I was the only one trying to improve myself.

Got two girls numbers wed in college, one of them was your typical hoe and the other hasn't responded yet.

Not too happy about it, but it beats staying home and not going to college and shit.

keep going at it

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Levi Davis
Levi Davis

nd even if I graduate with my current major and get a job in that field then I don't know if I'll be happy.
Sorry I ddin't see this part:
why did you pick that major?
Let's not worry about whether you'll be happy doing it, life isn't about working at a job that you love, it's about working at a job that you can tolerate day after day. Ask people who got married after knowing each other for only 3 months or people who have founded Startups to understand the reason why you shouldn't 'do what you love' (there are exceptions... but you're not one of them based on what you're telling me).

Why did you pick that major, why didn't you pick others?

Camden Campbell
Camden Campbell

Grats dude. I'm also a SWE working at one of the big4 companies. I make less than you so nj on that offer (though I'm in socal which is a bit cheaper).

Jacob Brooks
Jacob Brooks

Nofap
reading "Western Canon"

stop being so pretentious. Also nofap is gonna get you prostate cancer one day.

Luis King
Luis King

After 4 years of NEET I finally landed a full time job after a pretty successful interview, it's all about bullshitting with no hesitation.

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Parker Rodriguez
Parker Rodriguez

*minutiae

don't use big words if you can't spell them

Logan Diaz
Logan Diaz

I am a mechatronics engineering major and I picked it because I had an interest in robotics as a kid. Whether or not I still have an interest in robotics is something I don't know. If I were to break it down then

Why did I come to college?
To major in mechatronics and become a robotics engineer
Why do you want to major in mechatronics and become a robotics engineer?
Because I was interested in robotics in my childhood
Why were you interested in robotics in your childhood?
I'm not sure if I keep going down this path because I'm not sure I will get any useful insight from asking why I was interested in something as a child. Maybe I'm wrong but I just dont see where I'm going with this

Christopher Adams
Christopher Adams

That's the plural dingus.

Nolan Rivera
Nolan Rivera

But you were using the plural, grammatically speaking... also *lives

Ayden Lopez
Ayden Lopez

You didn't come to college to study mechtronic engineering though, you decided you had to go to college, then decided to choose mechatronic engineering. To put it another way, you didn't say

I love robotics, I want to be an robotic engineer, I'll go to college and major in it and work in that
It sounds like you went
I guess I should do college, mechatronic engineering could be fun so I'll do that...

My question is WHY did you decide to go to college? Was it because "everyone else is doing it?" did you have some idea of earning enough money to buy a house, was it because your parents said that you had to pick something... Why did you pick college at all...?

Michael Robinson
Michael Robinson

I still don't see why it's so significant as to point out. I admit I wrote my sentence awkwardly, does that in anyway invalidate the observation that it expresses?

Asher Rodriguez
Asher Rodriguez

It sounds like you went
I guess I should do college, mechatronic engineering could be fun so I'll do that..
You're entirely correct here and why did i go to college? I guess its because even though I wasn't excelling academically in highschool, school was still all I knew so I was drawn to what was familiar to me. I never really explored the other options out there and I felt like I had to something right after highschool. My parents are also a huge factor in the matter and I'm not sure they would have been okay with me not going to college (I'm okay with going against my parents wishes though so I think its more of the former than the latter).

Logan Williams
Logan Williams

Nope, I agree with your post, I just felt like correcting it

Jace Evans
Jace Evans

This year I want to give up fizzy drinks, porn and cut down on my vidya consumption by finding better hobbies. Used to be into drawing, and I work as a cook so I'm going to try and improve on that and go further career wise in the next 5 years.

Juan Myers
Juan Myers

Fair enough, I apologize for being so dickish and defensive.

Gavin Ramirez
Gavin Ramirez

nah, you didn't offend me B

Connor Barnes
Connor Barnes

All right so to recap I think you still should do that thing where you list out all your to-dos and ambitions on a big-ass list and interrogate them item by item, see which ones reveal some greater revelation about yourself and which ones are red-herrings, things that shouldn't be there/aren't important to you.
It's up to you to ask yourself these hard questions.
it might also help to also ask yourself:
Who do I want to be? Who do I look up to? What qualities do I admire in others?
Once you've found those little insights to yourself, then you can start choosing one thing to improve on. Little victories. Whether it's like you said, to meet your academic goals first - prioritizing those. Then once you get better at those, then maybe programming or exercise... and keeping that inertia going as you charge from one victory to the next rather than doing them all at once and failing at them all in parallel, you succeed at each of them in serial.
There really isn't anything else I can advise you since it's all up to what you answer to those questions - "why do I want to exercise?" "because of X" "why is X important to you" "because it's about Y"...
I wish you the best of luck on your journey user.

Easton Robinson
Easton Robinson

Thanks. I appreciate you sticking around to help me work through this. I'll start doing what you said and breaking down everything I think I want to do to see if I can anymore insight from that.

Evan Roberts
Evan Roberts

best of luck user, make sure you ask a question or two before the interview ends and try to have a genuine conversation.

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