No one can love you unless you learn to love yourself, dont surrender anons, apathy is the greatest enemy

is it really that bad? I mean the least amount of people die completely lonely

Yep. I literally don't see myself ever finding love, mainly due to my incompetence in life due to mental problems. I'd honestly bet money that I'll never find someone interested in an actual relationship with me.

what are those mental problems? My gf and i are both victims of crippling depression but she kinda pulled me out of that pit

Severe ADHD, anxiety, OCD. Depression I guess, though I don't think my depression is actually something wrong with me itself, but rather a natural consequence of the other problems.
It's hard to meet someone when you don't go out due to anxiety, and aren't able to push through that because of a lack of focus and drive. Any girl that I somehow did manage to find would no doubt leave me for being weird.

believe me being weird isn't that bad at all, i never go out too, I met her because she saw me wearing a sweater of a band we both like and texted me shortly after. we texted a lot before meeting and when we met it was pretty awkward

I mean weird as in "I constantly flap my hands to relieve anxiety and I have rituals that sometimes keep me up for hours". No girl is going to be ok with that.
And then you have to take into account that getting into a relationship would literally hurt your chance at success because I'm going to be a deadbeat with a shit job for my whole life (provided I don't kill myself)

Don't kys. Please. You can, and eventually will change someone's life. For the better. There is someone out there, just waiting for you. I don't know what else to tell you, but suicide can never be the solution. Fight on, user

>Fight on, user
I'll try. But even if there is someone out there for me, it's incredibly likely I won't meet them.

life is what you make of it, i have no money, no girlfriend, but i try to do all i can, i lost a 100 pounds, getting fitter. Fuck it, im gonna make the best of what i have

But sometimes people just can't love themselves because they are just a huge pile of garbage with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Sure, one can learn to accept the fact or even embrace it. But how can one force himself to love something that disgusts him to the deepest?
It's such a simple, meaningless frase normies throw around like it's a free BurgerKing coupon or some shit without actually thinking about it in the first place.

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im not a normie, far from it really, i used to be a disgusting fucking piece of shit, decided to lose some weight and try to be better, i still have pretty much no money, no girlfriend but i started going out, meeting people, going to places, im not gonna fall back into being a bitter loser

but i don't want people to love me

being loved is pure bliss, i actually managed to achieve it for a little while and let me tell you, it was amazing, holding hands while the sun sets on a summer evening, sitting together and them falling asleep on your arm, listening to the crickets and the night... maybe some day again

>I was fat and tfw no gf that's why I hated myself bohooo but I fixed that now yeeey
Wow, congratulations. Unfortunately my problems don't root from never having a gf before or being fat (even though both is true in my case).

reminder that you don't need a gf to feel loved
friends and family are just as rewarding of relationships as a romantic partner

then try and work on what you can you dingus, it wont happen by just sitting and feeling sorry for yourself, god knows i've tried it

How can I work out a weak character that lacks any sort of personality? Taking drugs or some shit the shrink gives you to completely change what you are? As I said, not everyones horizon ends at pussy and his own fucking BMI.

do you expect to create/discover a personality by just sitting and shitposting on Jow Forums? go out, go to a venue or a club or some other people's bullshit place, do something you dont usually do, make up a new routine, do you think i have that much of a character?

Its true though, you miserable, defeatist-minded fuck

It's absolutely fucking retarded for a variety of reasons. Not only do plenty of better off people who hate themselves find love, but it also just works to make people feel even shittier about themselves because it's basically saying "it's your fault you'll never find someone."
They will never learn to love themselves if you make it seem like having low self esteem is something they should be ashamed of.

well yes it is your fault though, you dont try, you dont improve, you arent any more interesting or fun to be around than a chad, and you arent even trying to do something else but sit on r9k and bitch about how shitty life is

I'm not saying that any of that isn't true, I'm saying it's shitty fucking advice. People with absolute garbage personalities get girls. The advice will never help anyone "love themself" by shaming them about it. It's fucking stupid.
In fact, from what I've seen other people say, the advice is literally harmful. It reinforces negative thoughts because it's clear that things won't get better anyway so what's even the point?
It's absolute normie tier advice that typically comes from people without actual problems.

its literally a choice to do something about it, that advice is not meant for quadruple blind amputees with down syndrome, its meant for people who can actually change something but are too lazy to just because its easier to complain about it

I forced myself to conventions and shit, hated every second of it. Even been to parties at work before. Guess what, I was the person standing around in the corner, hating every second of that aswell. I just hate the character that is me. To describe it better: if I would meet a person that was like me, I would hate him to the guts (just talking character wise, no looks, no nothing). So how am I supposed to change that? Sure, if someone else hates me I can alter myself, but I can't lie to myself. So don't tell me to go all
>bro you gotta like work on yourseeelf maaaaaan
on me.

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if you lie to yourself at some point you'll start to believe your own lies, i doubt you're as despicable human being as you make yourself out to be, people wont make an efford with you unless you make an efford in return, no one is gonna talk to the loner in the corner, i've sat in far too many corners and missed out on far too many things

It's not a choice to "like yourself". If it's a choice to you, then you already liked yourself.
I didn't wake up one day and choose to hate myself, it happened because there's things genuinely fucking wrong with me that make me a worthless person. No amount of shitty advice will ever change that. No amount of shitty advice will ever make me get better.

Why? No one wants to associate with a depressed, negative loser. Its just common sense.

If you spend all your time down, hating life, hating yourself, other people aren't going to want to associate with that.

well then i doubt anything can help you, and i have nothing more to really offer, you probably know that already but the more you live like that the harder it is to go back, go to a doctor, take a bath, get some new clothes, if you're american or from a western country then you're already half set

>if you lie to yourself at some point you'll start to believe your own lies
t. retard

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>take a bath
More normie tier advice. I don't go out if I haven't bathed, why would that be advice?
The doctor thing is good advice though, I've really started down that path. Need to call up a psychiatrist but I've been putting it off because of anxiety.

You probably hate yourself because there is nothing to like about yourself.

You not changing yourself is a choice. People aren't just magically good people. They make choices every day which eventually culminate in them being people they can look at in the mirror and be happy with.

Obviously, pulling yourself out of your depressed, apathetic state is the hardest part. Its hard to work on being a better person when your feeling that low.

What worked for me was the saying "better every day." Just try to make today slightly better than yesterday, in whatever small way you can. You don't need to do something crazy and life changing right away. Just try to make slight improvements to your life every day. Over time you will start to see meaningful changes.

So maybe eat slightly healthier today, maybe go for a walk, get a haircut, clean out your living space, take a shower, shave etc...

I'm still no where near where I want to be, but I'm no longer a depressed Doomer waiting to die.

i meant a bath as in now you dipstick, didnt mean that you stick(which i cant speak for), i ponder on life questions in the bath and its good to just have some quiet time with some warm water

>tfw I'm the only one who likes me

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The problem is that I have a mental disorder that actually makes things harder to do. Even when I want to do things to improve my life, I can't. I physically don't have control over my own brain.
Oh, I thought this was the generic "just take a shower bro" advice that people try to peddle.
Doesn't really matter though, I don't think I've ever had a thought that changed my life in the shower.

great, then you are all set, go out, meet people, you'll find your niche sooner or later, i tried to become one of the cool kids for years, turns out i was best set for the hipster alt crowd, some really nice people there

I really, really, really need to start taking care of myself. It's nice to fantasise about someone coming into your life and fixing you but the truth is you've gotta fix yourself. And if I'm gonna be alive for the next 40+ years I may as well try not to be too miserable, eh?

well still a shower is a good way to lower stress and think clearly atleast for a bit, thankfully spring/summer is coming soon, winter can be really fucking hard on the mind, i almost jumped a fe

>And if I'm gonna be alive for the next 40+ years
There's always the rope

I hate myself and wanna die hoooooooh

almost jumped a few months ago on a cold winter night because everything seemed really fucking hopeless

I like to think about it but I couldn't do that to my parents. Like it or not (I do not) I'm gonna be alive for a long time.

Than the next step is to start making decisions which will help you combat your mental disorder.

Medical or psychological help if its available. If it isn't available than take steps moving towards a situation where it will be available.

I'll take a shower at some point today, but the weather has no effect on my mental health. I was hoping it did, but I felt every bit as miserable in the summer as I do in the winter.

awh thanks for the reminder user. ya made my day a little better. :)

>Medical or psychological help if its available.
Recently started taking medication for it, but is basically does nothing since it's just a test dose. Can't get actually medicated until I set things up with the psychologist, which I haven't done due to the same problems I'm trying to treat.

What do you care; You'll be fucking dead assuming you don't fuck it up. Just admit you're too scared to kill yourself and move on.

>There is someone out there, just waiting for you.
Platitudes I've been hearing my whole life.

Yeah it's probably not true. There isn't someone for everyone.

>There is someone out there, just waiting for you
lmao ok

truth is, there might be, but there is no guarantee they live anywhere near you, so just find someone you like or tolerate and hold on to what you've got, such is life

>friends and family are just as rewarding of relationships as a romantic partner
Doesn't feel that way when they all have a romantic partners and would ditch you without hesitation if it came down to choosing there partner or you

>if you lie to yourself at some point you'll start to believe your own lies
Imagine the lack of self-awareness it takes to be this much of a brainlet. I guess that's why most normies are functional.

>So maybe eat slightly healthier today, maybe go for a walk, get a haircut, clean out your living space, take a shower, shave etc
Ah it all makes sense now. All your post have been simply nothing but projections to the fat slob you used to be.
News flash user, not everyone here is as disgusting as you used to be.

at this point its whatever helps you sleep at night, i dont expect great things from myself or some big revelations about how life works, im just gonna go with the flow

I live where it's hot and summer is the season I detest. Exercise makes me feel better, but not when I'm getting heat stroke.

you do know that food is tied to the way you feel right? you dont need to be a fat person to feel like shit because you arent eating properly and you need some sun every once in a while

what is this point trying to convey exactly?
Nothing more then more projections.

there is really no point in an argument with you, hope you get over your issues user

I eat almost exclusively frozen meals and I never go outside, kinda hoping it kills me

A-.. Arigato!

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I thought of this the moment I read OP.

I can't beat apathy. It all feels pointless.

>loving yourself
lol fag

Kinda cringe ngl in jail

I'll never get this fucking meme phrase, it's not like i go around telling people i hate myself, how the fuck would they know?

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Firstly, God loves you whether or not you love yourself. Or indeed whether or not you love Him.
Secondly, loving yourself is not a prerequisite of other people loving you. However if you don't, you will probably have trouble accepting that you are loved by anyone, and it would certainly make it harder for you to love them.

loving yourself, being confident, or whatever you want to call it is not something you actively choose. It's an automatic process in which some aspect of yourself evaluates how well you're doing at progressing towards meeting your psychological and physiological needs. If you don't feel like there's any point in trying, or if your motivation is very low, then that self opinion will automatically be low as well. You can't just lie to yourself and change it, it doesn't work like that. Real confidence and self love come from feeling validated and accepted by the world. Everyone likes to pretend that people who don't fit in are bad at everything, have no skills, no career, etc. All you need is some combination of mental issues like autism or social anxiety, as well as being ugly to fuck you for life.

>Firstly, God loves you
He certainly doesn't show it

>learn to love yourself
But this is entirely and utterly meaningless user. After so many years of trying why shouldn't I surrender to apathy? It can be hard to try so much for long and have nothing to show for it.

apathy isn't a cause it's a symptom

I want love but I am not sure if I will overcome my fear. Until then I will continue to be a jaded and bitter asshole. It hurts deep down inside, but I enjoy hurting others feelings now because that's all people have ever done to me. I am lashing out sure, but it may just be a cry for help and attention. I want to be happy and live my life and experience love. It all seems so bleak. I am treated like a mongoloid for being a white manlet in the US and in a sanctuary city. I have lost all respect for the human race. I see through the game that people put on. I don't want to just die alone. I am still young, but I feel like any love interest will die on the vine. I want to continue to live because of a hope to be accepted and loved. I am not sure it will happen. I don't want to slave away just to die alone or murdered by cartels. I am trying to stop drinking and live healthier like I was when I had a stronger hopefulness. I have spiraled quickly, I have no friends, best friend betrayed me, khv at 24, joint pain and scoliosis. I feel exhausted and stressed out. I have freaked out on co workers and alienated myself. My boss is the only person I am connected to. I guess I am just afraid. All I do is drink and watch anime anymore. Not sure who I really am...

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Hey it was my post originally. Some of those were things I used to struggle with. I just named some small things a lot of people can do to improve themselves. They may not apply to everyone, but than again, I don't know anything about the person I was responding to initially.

Even if those things don't apply to you personally, I think you get the point I was trying to illustrate. You can do small things to improve on yourself. They don't need to be massive life changing events.

The point is you can do small things to improve your life. Even if those specific examples don't apply to you personally.

I think a lot of people tend to feel stuck because they look at ways to improve their life and they see massive daunting problems, so they mentally give up and don't do anything.

Doing small things to improve your life is better than doing nothing.

Unfortunately this is not true for a 5'6" brown guy like me. I'm automatically discarded by like 98% of women based on my race and height alone.

I've honestly tried all the advice but nothing has worked because I'm clearly not attractive enough for girls.

Even girls of my own race hate me. My sister said that no girl would ever date me because of how ugly I am. I'm ready to give up at this point.