Free yous

Let's talk about anything. I need a distraction, I'm very suicidal

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Okay. What's your problem?

whats up my guy, something bothering you?

I don't want to talk about it really. Hbu how are you anons?

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Today was pretty neat man, I practiced drawing for an hour-ish at the library, studied muscles, probably gonna head to the gym in about an hour. I'm making a sandwich right now. I hope I get as good as drawing as the guy who made pic related, and as fit as the guy IN pic related.

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I got a Tarot reading on /b/ last night and for "How will quitting energy drinks and cutting down smoking go?" I got The 5 of Pentacles for the future. It has beggars and for the interpretation I was told I have supports and they'll fade away but my defense mechanism kicked in and I responded with it's probably figurative of the daily grind of giving up an addiction.

But then later on I started to shit bricks. I want to quit energy drinks and quit smoking to become a Renaissance Man and start playing guitar, programming and writing short stories but if I'm screwed if I try that? So often everyone on here will tell me to maintain the status quo and any attempt to better myself will result in failure, and what if success leads to total failure?

I'm a mental patient who's basically a NEET and NEETs are basically homeless people waiting to happen. So often people wish they listened to fortune tellers after it was too late. Wat do?

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thinking about getting a cactus lads

That's pretty cool your life seems to be going well(thanks to your efforts and discipline) I hope you achieve your goals user

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Life always bites in the ass anyway. I'd say just get a job, save up to buy a shitty little trailer if need be, and practice your guitar. If you can walk and talk that's enough.

I believe you can quit energy drinks and smoking. The worst part is initially, then it becomes easier. I really think you can do this

I bought one one time, I completely forgot and it died, ouch
Doo it

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Thank you for the advice. Sometimes I make mountains out of molehills.

Tomorrow I'm going to a hospital for a heart examination. When I was there the previous time (I overdosed so hard my heart failed) I've become infatuated with a nurse. Even though I probably won't even meet her there, I'm going to looksmax just in the slight hope. How pathetic am I?

don't put so much stock in a tarot reading, i mean i got one and i was like yeah sure, then i remembered the day before i watched a random episode of duckman where he can't make up his mind on what to do cause his future selves keep coming back in time and telling him he fucked up, then i watched a random episode of south park which was the one with the future prediction device. it was a weird coincidence cause after the tarot reading i was so obsessed with how my future would turn out then i remembered that stuff and i realised it probably wasn't a coincidence.

tl;dr stop shitting yourself about the future, just do whatever cause its gonna suck either way and you're not in control.

i know that feel man, except it was at a doctors office when she changed my bandages. it was the last time i had a legitimate crush. i only had that crush cause she made small talk with me and it was the first time i was having a conversation with a girl. i'm right there being pathetic with you, probably moreso.

Nothing pathetic about having hope

The nurse I have a crush on was very kind to me. One night when my psychosis kicked in she helped me calm down and fall asleep, her mere presence got me through the night from panicking and doing something dangerous. She had also this unique feeling to her, like she was very shut in herself and afraid to show her internal beauty, even my mother has noticed that. Sadly, when I got better enough to speak and walk, she had a week off and I couldn't even say "thank you" to her, other nurses told me she has a boyfriend, her name (unfortunately I remember only the first name) and promised to tell her I'm grateful. Feels bad man.

I got my cards read too and honestly I don't really believe in it. Yeah, some things were true but they were so generalized

But isn't it pathetic to become infatuated with someone and barely meet, not to mention fantasise about a relationship with her while she:
>knows I'm a drug addict, and a stupid one at that
>has seen me piss and shit myself and helped me urinate into a bottle
>is six year older than me and has a boyfriend
>probably has heard the story about me suddenly waking up from a coma and beating the shit out of a paramedic because I thought I was in an American prison (Slav here) for being a communist

Fuck man I'm lonely. I'm constantly spamming dating sites and e-mail adresses and keeping Facebook open, but nobody talks to me.

I'm on like 5 different dating sites & apps and I don't even get 1 match, except from bots.

People bail out on me all the time, I meet girls that look interested in me, agree on meeting up some other day and then when that day arrives they're like "uh finally I'm busy".

I mean I'm ugly but I've always thought that it wouldn't stop me from at least getting fucking friends. I hate my life at the moment, I really hope this will change soon.

I barely know*

I don't think so, maybe she's not going to fancy you but it's not pathetic to have feelings for her and hoping. Plus maybe she's going to think something nice about you since you'll try to looksmax, that's nice right?

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From what I've gathered in my life, the more people you meet, the more chances you have to find a partner. It's really that, you basically haven't met enough people
I'm sorry for the loneliness, I can be your friend if you want user

Yep, thanks for kind words. The worst thing is I probably won't even meet her at all, I would at least want to know how she looks like (during my hospital stay I had neither my glasses nor contacts, so I just know she's tall and thin, has dark hair, wears glasses and has tattoos on her wrists. Also, the voice, I will never forget it). But I feel better now, thank you kind user.

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