Chad here to translate Femglish into English

Hello incels, Chad here. Since you are all autists, I'm going to lay some facts down that you need to understand. Women speak a totally different language, they are subtle creatures: sneaky, devious, speak in codes. I'm here to break that code for you. The greentext will be what women say, and the spoiler will be the translation into English, sometimes with a Chad-like example response.
>I'm not looking for a relationship right now
I don't want a relationship WITH YOU. Don't even bother trying to ask me out, it will NEVER HAPPEN
Chad: "So if you're not looking for a relationship, you're just looking for sex right? SEX SEX SEX, that's all that's on your mind. I'm looking for a real relationship, but all you sluts want is SEX!"

>I don't think of you in 'that' way
You are ugly

>You're like a brother to me
Sex with you repulses me as much as incest

>The kids were bad today
Your genes are defective

>(In reference to an argument) We are both wrong
You are wrong[/spoier]

>You don't listen to me
Why can't you read my mind?

>I hate to interrupt, but...
I'm more important than whatever you're doing

>Have you had time to...
I need you to do serve me RIGHT NOW, slave

Attached: sniffable-brapper.jpg (1280x1600, 213K)

sorry for fucking up the spoiler


>I don't mind paying for myself
Wow you CHEAPSKATE, you're not going to have another chance dating me
Chad: You will only date her again if you give her multiple orgasms tonight

>Let's not rush things
There are a few Chad's I'm trying to trick into dating me

>I'm not ready to settle down
Don't ask me out until you're making 6 figures, buddy

>I enjoy the single life!
I enjoy not being your gf

>I need some space
You're unattractive, leave me alone
Chad: Just say "Cool bitch" and walk away and never contact her again

>I'm focusing on my 'career'
My training and studying for my career is extremely boring and tedious yet more exciting then you'll ever be.

>Let's just give it some time.
You're a very low quality male. I might date you after if chad chooses to move on after dicking me hard, assuming you have a stable job.

>I like you, but...
I do not like you at all

>You're not the type of guy I'd date, you're the type of guy I'd marry!
You're boring, I don't want to have sex with you. However, you're nice and stable, so after I ride the cock carousel I'll possibly settle for you... if you're making good money
Chad: "And you're not the type of girl I'd marry, just the type of girl I'd fuck senseless then forget about"

>Let's just be friends
You'll never see my roast beef flaps, you're just not attractive
Chad: "I have enough friends already, bye"

>I don't want to ruin our friendship
Please stay my guy friend. You're smart and easy to talk to, I just will never touch your penis

>Honesty is very important to me
Only tell me what I want to hear

>I only like you as a friend
You're not attractive
Chad: "I only see you as a pump-n-dump slut!"

>You're so manly
You smell bad mister, take a shower

>Let me check my schedule to see if I'm busy
I have plans with Chadwick, WE will never hang out

>We need...
I want...

>Can you call me back? I need to...
I just need an excuse to get off the phone. I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I LIED BLATANTLY TO YOUR FACE. Oh, and have a nice day!

>Sure, what is your phone number?
I will add your phone number to my trophy collection of pathetic losers who want me... but I don't want them!
Chad: "Lol forget it bitch" *walk away*

>I'm not upset
I am upset

>Let's be romantic and turn off the lights
I'm not proud of my body

>Do you love me?
I need you to buy me something expensive

>Am I fat?
Please tell me I'm beautiful
Chad: "Femanon, Aristotle defines love as 'friendship based on beauty.' Therefore, if there is no beauty to base friendship on, there can be no love." =)

>I'm not that type of girl
Keep trying!

>Don't touch me there!
Touch me there, but I'll stop you a few times first
Chad: Heavy resistance is bad, light resistance is normal. Women WANT you to go for them, the FANTASIZE about rape

>Will you respect me in the morning?
Don't tell anyone we copulated

>We need to talk...
I need to complain
Chad: Just nod your head and say 'uh huh' smile, and repeat

>I need to think about it
NO!

>We have an on and off relationship
I string him along until someone better shows up

>Where is this going?
Are you gonna marry me?

>No
Yes

>Maybe
No

>Let me think about it
No

>I feel like I've known you my entire life
I want your penis inside of ME

>Do you have a girlfreind?
You're hot, are you on the market?

>Wow, you're certainly attentive tonight!
Is sex ALL you think about?

>How much do you love me?
I did something you won't like
Chad: She probably had drunk sex with your best friend

>We need to communicate better
You need to agree with me more
Chad: Just smile and nod

>I don't want to ruin our friendship!
I like using you to talk about the guys I have sex with

>Do whatever you want
I'll never forget this, I will hold it against you forever

>Take out is fine for dinner
You're cheap!

>I want a stable future, a guy with passion
I want a sugar daddy

>You wouldn't understand
I don't understand

>Why did you and your ex break up
What is wrong with you?
Chad: say "Lol idk bitch"

>This guy was STARING at me, then he came over and asked me out
PLEASE ASK ME OUT RIGHT NOW
Chad: She is trying to tell you she's beautiful and desirable. Ask her out

>What do you think of Stacy?
Do I have competition?

>I don't want a boyfriend right now // I am a lesbian
I don't want YOU as a boyfriend
Chad: Every girl wants a chad bf, it's her life purpose

>I don't know, what do you want to do?
I can't believe you have nothing planned! Loser
Chad: You dun goof'd sir

>I'm picky
We will never date

>I'm very picking
I'm a religious virgin girl, still under the umbrella of her parents, and demand perfection.
Chad: She has unrealistic expectations

>Maybe [other woman] thought you were hot!
You are sexy
Chad: Woemn aren't direct. They project their thoughts through a prop; in this case, some other girl

>Come here
This is a test to see if you're a good pet
Chad: Bark at her "Woof woof" and crawl over and start panting, then ask "am I a good boy??"

>This apartment is so stuffed/inconvient/old
You need a new apartment
Chad: tell her "We should get a divorce"

>You need new furniture
You need new furniture, carpet, curtains, wallpaper....

>I heard a noise!
I noticed you were asleep before me, which is prohibited

>I'll be ready in a minute
Go make a snack and turn on a movie

>My ex....
I still love my old boyfriend
Chad: Leave this cunt

>I like you, but...
I don't like you

>It's a "Girl's night" tonight!
We're going to get wasted and make fun of your penis

>I don't want to talk about it
I'm building a case against you
Chad: She's a volcano, slowly preparing to burst. Crack open a beer and get started

>I'm an artist
I'm poor and unreliable

>I'm very affectionate
I'm posessive and get jealous easily
Chad: If you so much as look at a girl, she'll accuse you of cheating

>I'm an adventurer
I've taken multiple BBC's in my ass hole
Chad: Wrap it up and pump-n-dump

>I'm seeking friends first
I have a slut reputation, and that has worked against me in the past
Chad: See above

>I'm mature
I'm not going to suck your dick like I did for my last boyfriend

>I'm open minded and outgoing
I'm desperate and loud

>Are you gay?
WHY WONT YOU ASK ME OUT REEEE
Chad: This is one of the highest compliments you can receive!

>Some random number called/texted me. Was it you? Did you call me?
I want you to ask me for my phone number

>I like dates where blah blah blah happens and blah blah blah
PLEASE ASK ME OUT

>*She 'accidentally' bumps into you* OOOPS, teehee
Please pay attention to me!

>Don't be shy, I'm not...
REEEEEEE
Chad: Loosen up buddy, she's just a weak & pathetic little girl

>*She keeps looking in your direction*
Why won't you come talk to me?

>*She compliments you*
I like you
Chad: You impressed her, buddy

>*She sits cross-legged with her hand/wrist in between her legs*
I want your penis inside of me

>My boyfriend is so stupid, I can't beleive what he did yesterday...
I want you to steal me from my boyfriend
Chad: You may be able to cuck some beta faggot

>I met this guy and he makes me FEEEL SOOO good, he's so TALLL and handsome...
Chad: She has no interest in you, say "cool bitch" and leave

>My boyfriend hurt my feelings, wahhh
You're my emotional tampon
Chad: How can you tell if you are an emotional tampon, if she is vomiting her feelings, or if she wants you to steal her? It is simple. If her emotions are on herself, she is bleeding her feelings everywhere and making quite a mess. If the feelings are bad, she is using you as the emotional tampon. You are there for her to unload her feelings and get tossed aside. However, if the girl is projecting no feelings of herself and only tearing down her boyfriend, it is obvious what she intends.

>You remind me of a guy I used to know...
She has been checking you out but doesn't want you to think she is overly interested. With this comment, she is "covering up"
Chad: Sometimes you might actually LOOK like a guy she knew. Either way, she is noticing your looks.

>What do you do for fun?
Are you dating anyone? Are you making lots of money?
Chad: Interested chicks will ask you this because they want you to ask them out, and you haven't done so yet. They are worried you are taken!

>*She seems disinterested. When talked to, she gets shy.*
I like you, teehee
Chad: Women, like guys, get really shy around the person they like. They'll even fake disinterest.

>*Her chair is facing a direction from you, but she has her legs up on her seat and has turned towards you.*
You have my attention

chad here, that's all folks.

what did you learn? =)

chad here, please respond. i spent a lot of time on this

Most of the time do the opposite and add more meaning behind what she said?

she speaks in codes. everything is a test. i just translated what they actually mean when they say things

NEVER take them seriously. they're full of shit.

Ah, got it. Thanks. But do they speak like this to eachother as well?

Yes they do. All they ever do is gossip and vomit their feelings on one another

I wonder how that has to do with evolution. In prehistory, if you badmouth Stacegrug and it reaches Chadgrug, she gets a lower chance at having Chadgrug's children. But in the long term, that means they can't exchange ideas and opinions as efficently, thus lagging behind and contributing waaay less than men. Really interesting.

i'm not sure the evolutionary reason. but women are supposed to be able to understand children. also historically women were property

hey Chad where do you meet girls

some were off, some were on point.
the autists on here will have no use for most of these potential interactions though, most are stuck at the point where women won't even speak them in the first place. could be helpful for the normalfags who have some sort of regular female contact though.

you have to go to normie social events, or have a large friend circle, or be an 8+/10 on tinder

(((something))) tells me you're not an actual Chad and are just a fellow incel who thinks they've figured it out. I think you're close, but I also think some of these are inaccurate.

>some of these are inaccurate
prove it

>some were off
false

nice "interpretation"

"""""""""""""chad"""""""""""""

As much as I want to disagree with most of these, they're pretty accurate. F

Meh I'll just stay content with jerking off. Way to much work for pussy if you're not good looking or are not competent.

>Prove it
Well for one thing it's a terrible idea to call a girl a "bitch" or a "slut", which you seem to be advising to do. Those words are like universal trigger words that can instantly turn make a girl scream and yell at you, even if you are a Chad. I've seen it in person.

Attached: 1546982405130.jpg (400x400, 70K)

>letting the opinions and feelings of girls change your behavior

aspire to be a beta, because you simply will NEVER be a chad

>I've seen it in person.
it was done incorrectly by an amateur

have you ever had a serious relationship?
ever lived with a woman for a while?
just trying to get a feel of your experiences, many of your translations/potential responses make me feel like you've only pumped and dumped or you've only dated high school/college chicks

>letting the opinions and feelings of girls change your behavior
What made you think I was doing that?

well, whatever. im dying a virgin anyways, so i dont have to put up with any of this horseshit. ive accepted my destiny in life and at this point at 28 years old i dont even want to lose my virginity. i hate god and i hate human beings and i want this world to burn, but i know i will never experience love or sex or any of that stuff

its suffering and painful but its the reality that i was destined to experience, all orchestrated by our malevolent demon god

>have you ever had a serious relationship?
yep

>ever lived with a woman for a while?
indubitably

>just trying to get a feel of your experiences, many of your translations/potential responses make me feel like you've only pumped and dumped or you've only dated high school/college chicks
i am 25 and fucked anywhere from 18 to 31 year olds

i've literally called my gfs a "bitch" multiple times

chill out buddy, just playing

bro u should go fuck an escort and then realize that fapping is better than circumcised cock inside of condom sex, so you won't care about it

I'm never going to bother with women ever again, if that's what you're asking. Really, even the "good" signs rub me the wrong way. Anyone who engages in that behavior is just retarded and I don't want to deal with them.
So what now, more vidya or rope myself?

its not about the penis in vagina sex, its about experiencing love, intimacy, passionate sex with her being sexually submissive towards you, etc

its that experience which i will never experience in my life, i dont want to waste my virginity on a hooker because im already at the point where im too bitter and im already religious and its just not to me, i missed out. like i hate females to an extent that you couldn't comprehend. i do think there are men alive who hate females more than me, but they are few and far inbetween. however i dont think theres a single person alive who hates human beings more than me

you have to understand that losers will always exist and i just happen to be one of them, as unfortunate as that may be. not everyone is going to be a chad who slays prime teens and succeeds in life, thats why ive been browsing Jow Forums and coping with imageboards since like 2005

>you have to go to normie social events
What are those?

>Chad here

Anyone who refers to them self as a Chad is actually a Brad.

Attached: bradchadthadlad.jpg (2896x937, 238K)

pretty interesting stuff OP, I'll try to keep these in mind

Attached: 1543775403988.png (276x347, 90K)

>are you gay?

I thought that they were being mean. In any case I didn't ask them out so everyone in school thought I really was gay

Find a purpose in life that doesn't involve women lol

Men love differently from women (a twist of the body and the man falls in love. He is forgetting that an entire woman is there!). Men love the illusion; it is a more pure love. Women don't have time for such nonsense. They prefer the substance rather then illusion. She will love your dreams and passions only because it means you may better your present condition, not because you see yourself as the dream. She could care less about your intellectual philosophies... it is just masculine chatter to her. She wants to know about your education and job prospects. She would rather have you work in a job you hate to bring in more money then to work in a job you love and remain poor. This type of girl sees you only as a piece of livestock, like a mule, to be an umbrella of stability to place her nest on.

Imagine something out in public full of normies that you would have to pay a bit of money (or provide free labor) to partake in. Something you wouldn't enjoy doing, and sounds pretty boring and uneventful, like a chore to drive over and do.

That's it

The last time I confess my feelings to a friend which is two years ago I think, she do say something like "I don't want to ruin our friendship" basically I instantly translates it to "I don't even like you lmao". But whatever man, she does look like a Stacy and we've been knowing each other since high school, so its like 5-6 years.

but women do fall in love with men that abuse them, make them deeply orgasm, hit them, financially rape them and treat them like trash. they are capable of falling deeply in love with serial killers or gang memebers or dudes with 10 inch dicks who cant hold steady employment and are violent

i understand that they look down on most men, but once again i feel like its just not for me. life and god are cruel like that. my needs for love will never be met, regardless of my feelings, its just how it is

>but women do fall in love with men that abuse them, make them deeply orgasm, hit them, financially rape them and treat them like trash. they are capable of falling deeply in love with serial killers or gang memebers or dudes with 10 inch dicks who cant hold steady employment and are violent

so what? most of that shit doesn't matter to them. it matters to you because you're a logical being. they are emotional beings, like children

>my needs for love will never be met
you need to forget that shit and figure out something worthwhile to pursue and spend your effort on

you may get a gf in the process, but only if that particular thing happens to also be profitable

Mm-hmm... I see. How do you locate said events?

normie music concerts
local bars, clubs
google "events in [local city]"
you can also do volunteering, or church

>My training and studying for my career is extremely boring and tedious yet more exciting then you'll ever be.

Attached: Netanyahu Laugh.png (800x600, 582K)

I learned that no woman has ever been interested in me. They are so duplicitous that it disgusts me.

>Find a purpose in life that doesn't involve women lol
That's fundamentally not the point, but that's fine, I really wouldn't expect you to understand. Just fuck more holes and ask if you're still empty.

This is pretty good Chad, thank you. Some things are starting to make sense now

FUCK I thought the gay line meant she wasn't interested. It all makes sense now, whatever she was a bullet anyway

if you are acting like a huge faggot (very feminine), it's a genuine question. otherwise, it's what i said =)

lmao Chad wouldn't use a filename like "sniffable-brapper.jpg" you autist.

please explain why not, incel?

No she was definitely interested in me but I thought the gay line was to say she wasn't anymore, not to raise the stakes.

the thought that you were too autistic to understand the signals she was throwing at you was incomprehensible to her.

>he isn't asking me out, why? he must be a homosexual

she clearly had a normie's understanding of autism (i.e. shit smearing on the walls retarded)