I am, in fact, very self-aware, you dumb neurotypicals

I don't quite comprehend you. When you say 'another way of living', do you mean to say that you challenge the moral values of society, or what? As far as why I'm patronizing you it's because I want to see how far down your LARP goes.

failed neurotypical
falseflag thread

"Happy" people manipulate others all the time, without even realizing it. It's called framing control. The sense of power over someone is enough for them.
I don't challenge anything, I just don't want to be bothered by those people and live my own life, maybe have a dream of sorts. Of course that won't do for them so they sabotage and ruin me. My larp isn't all that interesting. I've already revealed that I'm not a girl or schizo, I might have also lied about how much money I have, but not by much. That's it.

Why aren't you trying to transmute to a higher plane of existence, user?

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I tried and ended up in a lower plane instead. Never again.

That's not our choice user.
Good luck

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>so they sabotage and ruin me.
ahh paranoia huh
makes sense
you started with
>I'm delusional or retarded
which you simply don't want people telling you about.

here's some things that helped me
maybe theyll help you
1. If you get angry about a topic relating to yourself it's because you're running away from some truth
2. Nobody gives a flying fuck about you and their manipulations are purely selfish - they aren't trying to keep you down - they just don't want you affecting them.
3. the trouble with people who are hyper-aware of how others view them is they are a) imagining the other people as obssessed with them b) failing to realise how it is they are actually viewed c) completely failing to see how other people view each other and d) not understanding the way their actions look to normies

your problem is you think you see at the base level
the true reasons people do thing behind all the bs they say
the hidden deep motivations
you may or may not be right some or most of the time
but most people don't understand themselves at that level
or don't admit it to themselves
so you, coming in and revealing to them their deep inner motivations, claiming you know better, will win you exactly zero friends
which you may think you don't want
but what it really does is tait every single interaction you have
making the result of all interactions negative
you probably think the vashier at your store is judging you for the items you buy
while in reality she sees so many items a day she barely remembers you
until you start acting qeird because you believe she is judging
so she remembers the weird guy
and you create your own self fulfilling prophecy

I honestly. deeply, truely from the bottom of my heartrecommend weed.
its a bad drug that has bad effects but it will help you
especially in limited quantities
get some cbd maybe

>they aren't trying to keep you down - they just don't want you affecting them.
not OP but isn't that basically the same? They try to keep non normies in control or even sedated so they don't have problems. it's more like they don't see how their selfishness keeps others down just because the ones who are kept down aren't perfect normie tools that they can benefit from. Also weed doesn't help everyone.

I've tried most of what you're describing here. I actually used to preach stuff similar to this on here myself. But it's just too much effort to live my whole life like this. At some point I wanted to give up and be myself. Of course that didn't sit well with the "happy" people so now I'm crippled and in pain. My mom knew full well about her own inability to function well among "happy'' people, but still chose to have me.
Spot on.

>neurotypical
BasedJWs get out. Just accept your disability and work through it or shut up

it's almost but not quite
see normies built their society
it's their society
if you want to be in it you must play by their rules
because it's theirs

if you go inawoods nobody will try to control you
because you're now making your own society
when you come to visit for groceries you are entering normie society built and maintained by normies
you must follow their rules

they don't care about you
they care that you care about them

see user
I understand what you mean
what you have to realise
is that all of this falls by the wayside as soon as you find something to do with yourself
somewhere to spend you time and energy
somewhere that isnt obsessing over your pllace in this world and how people see you
not sitting around and thinking about where you want to be and what you want to do
doong something, anything
then you will see things from the new perspective
you will understand how many of us there are, just like you
how many are not into the whole normie culture
you'll understand that normie culture is a baseline created by people to be the lwast offensive way of getting through the interactions we must have everyday
normie culutre, at its core, started out as a way for people to avoid interacting on a personal level as much as possible and somehow still not killing each other

>1/2

>2/2

it's not that society is good
or that happy people some enforce the law
it's that there is a very thin sheet of roleplay
everyone has agreed to pretend like 99% of the time things are sunshine and rainbows
because knowing all the shit in life is hard enough
listening to it or being reminded of it from someone else makes it even harder not to spiral into horrible negativity
I know shit sucks
you know it
your cashier knows it
we're just hanging on and trying tp make the best of it
normie culutre is about everyone always at the very least pretending things are ok
unless they really really aren't
then you ask for help
but if they just kinda arent ok
if things are just generally shitty and people generally suck and youre generally kinda unhappy about the whole situation
nigga me too
and listening to complaints about it simply makes shit worse

so if there's a guy
going around reminding everyone
>hey! life is shit ! everyone hates everyone else and btw we all have pointless interests and it's all fake pretend
well
that guy can fuck off
I'll be sure to make his time around me hard
ao maybe he'll stop coming around me
I won't follow him around making it hard
(which is personally targeting you)
I'll just make it hard when he's near me

Im just like this lol, but weed totally fucks me up makes the awareness even more crazy

>go innawoods
>get sabotaged and pulled out
>get put on surveilence
>get put on meds

>get stopped by cops while on a highway at night
>they check your records
>see you're supposed to be on meds
>get locked up
Nice.

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schizo here, fuck off mate, that isn't true.

you actually do sound delusional.

No, I just used to larp as a schizo. It's a bit embarrassing to tell that to an actual schizo (not even getting into my beliefs about mental illness in general).

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thank you for not larping as schizo anymore user.
it actually kills your braincells and you can get retarded from not taking antipsychotics if you are psychotic.

the problem with that is I can't just go inwoods and make my own society or claim a piece of land and make my own country. you are born and forced into this society where everything is owned by someone already. if you just go into the woods and build a house either the owner or the government will come and kick you out.
yeah they don't care about me so why should I care about them or their rules unless I want to and see a positive effect in them. like did I decide to be born different? should I just give up the way I am for them, get chemically lobotomized or forced into something else and get nothing in return?

running away from home to randomly sleep under a tree with no real plan of survival or money for support is not
>go inawoods
that's actually called having no thinking capacity whatsoever and being unable to take care of yourself

yes
I agree
society is far too soft
we should let people who are incapable of taking care of themselves die
especially those that refuse help

if said individuals who cant suvive independently happen to have some desperate thoughts
like stealing food or breaking into someones house for warmth
when it turns out that they didn't have a single clue about what they will do once in the woods
those individuals should be shot on site

none of this "let's take care of them" crap
it simply costs taxpayers money
let the fuckers starve

tragic that society is so pussywhiped

there's plenty of wilderness left outside the 1st world western nations
plenty

if you don't like wild wild lands
and want to enjoy the benefits of living in a developed economic nation
then yes
Yes
y
e
s
you must follow the rules

that's the choice
live in a nice country and do what the people who built and own the country say is allowed
or go live where there is no law

that's the reality
you think this is somehow unfair?

Unfortunately that larp did kill my braincells a bit. Really, it ruined me completely. People called me schizo anyways so I adopted it for a female persona I've created. It was fun for a while but left me in an even worse mental state by the end. So might as well have never stopped larping since I now have to take meds anyways haha. Tell me what's it like to be an actual schizo?
Well they didn't kill me again, but where I am right now is barely better.

I get the impression you're an actual schizo, you tell ME what it's like.
it's horrible.

Well I can't be a schizo, since it's not horrible for me. I only hate how the "happy" people perceive and control me. Also being stuck in a limbo and having to watch out for those who have access to my records is pretty distressing, but I'll fix that soon by leaving the country. I'm pretty content with my own mind though, it's still there and I remember most of what I need to remember. I can still count on myself to see through deception.
Tell me, what's so horrible about it? I don't want to seem insensitive.

who are the "happy" people? neurotypicals?
it's horrible cuz it can take EVERYTHING away from you. most homeless people are homeless from being schizo.

>calls himself self-aware
>believes that the voices in his head are himself
>believes that his thoughts are his own
Your journey has yet to begin, young one.

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Kind of. There's a lot of overlap. basically "happy" people are those who use framing to influence and control others. Even minor things like your cashier speaking to you in a certain way count. It's an ingrained form of manipulation common to those involved with society. They also buy into the lie that "happiness" is a goal to be strived for, so I call them "happy".
How has schizophrenia affected your life specifically?
Shut up. If you've read my old posts, they meant nothing.

I know a lot of "happy" people, then.
I missed out on high school from being in the hospital, so now i am a social retard.

the people who built this country are mostly dead or receive a pension. the ones making the rules are mostly companies the normies are just tools so why should I put any companies profits above my own interests? and in case the people who live in the country own it don't I own it too partly? my grandparents helped built this country but they are dead so they can't say anything anymore but I guess that doesn't amount to anything in your view. like only tools who follow every rule blindly have rights apparently.

I hope you get better, user. What are your plans for the future?

This is definitely not a time to be alive

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It's frightening to be reminded just how much I am complicit in society's manipulations. It doesn't amount to much, but do know that I feel bad about it and will at least try to act better, when I have the will to put effort into doing so.

thanks dude. I wanna make a cartoon.

That's nice. What's it about?

Neurotyps are low IQ subhumans

demented pirates!!! hope you're not spying on me!

Haha. Sounds like fun. If I'm still alive, I'll look for it!
>hope you're not spying on me!
I wouldn't! I know how horrible it feels to be constantly watched. I would never wish that for someone else.

thank you!!! love you buddey!

Aiste, can I wrap you in a blanket sushi roll and cuddle you?

Yes. I'd love that very much.

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Good. You could use snuggles. Take your mind off all the nonsense in your life.

I think of cuddles and hugs way more often than I'd like to admit. It's pretty embarrassing, but I feel safe telling you.

It's fine. Cuddles feel good. There's nothing quite like having someone's warm body pressed against yours, enveloping you. It really makes the troubles seem to melt away.

And you seem like a nice person, so I'd definitely cuddle you.

I'm not lying. That made me cry a little. When I think of how pathetically simple and yet unachievable my dream is. Oh my god. I really hope it's just the meds talking.

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I hope it's not a bad cry, I really do want to cuddle you. I know your dream is pretty much impossible at our current level of technology, but rest assured that eventually, people like you will not have to dream. For now, hormones have the possibility to ease the pain somewhat, although I can tell that's not something you want. Nevertheless, you may consider it if the feelings become worse. Not because it will make you become a girl, but because it will make you suffer less.

I don't know, user. I feel like if I only went half-way I'd be more miserable than now. Right now I plan to go to Norway and just see where life takes me. Besides that I don't have anything to lose. My life is over here.
>I hope it's not a bad cry
I don't know. There's no hope in it, but plenty of unfulfilled desire.

>I feel like if I only went half-way I'd be more miserable than now
If the result was worse, it wouldn't be recommended by practically every psychiatrist as a method of treatment. If nothing else, even with no surgery (and there are plenty of trans girls who transition without getting any surgery at all), the hormones themselves may provide something your brain feels is lacking.

But the thing is that I don't want to be a girl because I feel like I'm one inside or whatever the reason trannies have. My reason is that I feel like a female lifestyle, female problems, female perception of love are more appealing to me. I don't think transitioning would do anything for me.

>I feel like a female lifestyle, female problems, female perception of love are more appealing to me
And why does it appeal to you? Do you see it as easier? That it's more fun/romantic to be in the position of the female? Could you live like this while possessing a body of a man?

im going to kiss you right on the lips user

If you are directing that at the OP, you should call them "Aiste."

some sort of e-whore, then? I just thought the OP was cute

Whenever I say that I see it as easier I bet bashed by femanons explaining all the problems associated with it being female haha. I get it, grass is greener etc. But it still appeals to me a lot. I just can't help it. Women can love and be loved in a way men are just incapable of experiencing. I was always a super cold person, unable to love even my own parents. I just want unconditional love. I don't think I can ever have that in my current state. Even if I was a Chad, being affectionate in the way I want would still be unacceptable.

Aiste isn't an e-whore. I asked for their name a few threads back, and that was the name they suggested.

How would you feel about receiving love from another guy, as a guy? Why would you have to be a Chad to be loved?

Men just don't love the same way. We're way too cold.

Gonna have to disagree with you there. Plenty of men are capable of being very affectionate lovers.

Can I fuck your butt?
I'll go gently at first

But even if they are with their partners, they still have to look tough outside. Women on the other hand can be cute and fuzzy all the time. For example, they won't get stared at if they approach a stranger's children.

Men only need to look tough if their partner is a woman.

>dumb
>uses their inventions for quality of life, and to post whatever its mentally deffective skull can come up with
what did xir mean by this?

Another cold person here (sort of). Could you explain what you mean by unconditional love? If you think about it from the perspective of the person giving someone unconditional love, it seems impossible. If the love is unconditional, that means you are not discriminating between any attributes of a given person, but then that also means that you would not care who the person is. If you don't care what a particular person is like, why would you care what anyone else is like? Unless, that is, there is some sort of condition involved after all, such as that person being the first one you met, or perhaps they had some quality you initially fell in love with.

If you mean the truly unconditional love, then there may actually be some people who love every living being equally, and therefore love you as well. Or at least I think such people exist. But I reckon that's not really what you mean.

It's just not the same. Society loves women, civilization was built for them. They're the ones who create life. They're way more trusted. And will not be seen as losers if they don't have a successful career. Things you simply won't get as a man, no matter if you're gay, no matter if you cut off your dick and take hormones. It's an experience like no other. A pure one. And I don't even care about sex. I just want that feeling of not having to shower 5 times a day just to not feel disgusted by my uncleanliness and impurity.
I mean the type of love you get for being what you are, not what you do.

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That still seems impossible to me. How can anyone know what you are? The only way they are able to gauge what you are like is through your speech and actions. I wish we had some way of directly experiencing what other people feel, but that kind of technology will probably take many more decades to develop.

When I larped as a female, I would get dozens of friendship requests and promises to take care of all my basic needs, even though I'm borderline schizophrenic and displayed terrible personality. That's what I mean.

What does it matter what society thinks of you? What is more important is what you think of you. What would make you happy?

It matters because no matter how much I try to escape it, they always find a way to control me. I didn't choose to be diagnosed with anything, I didn't choose to be medicated, I didn't choose to be sabotaged. Yet the "happy" people don't care. They see me as a problem so they deal with me with ruthless effort. If I were to live in a society with my issues, being a girl would help mitigate it. I don't want to lose my mind, just be somewhat accepted if I so have to.

So can I fuck your butt or no?

You're an adult, Aiste. Even if you may have some issues (trying to kill yourself is a mental issue), you are ultimately the only person who has a right to control yourself. If others will not allow you your basic human rights, leave them. Move somewhere more sane. Just make sure to take care of yourself.

Do you think all of those things came as a result of love? On this board, it seems more likely that people have an overly idealized view of females and would quickly be disappointed if you agreed to any of the offers (and were actually a female). At most, they'd keep you around in order to have sex, which might be good enough as far as mitigating the issues you have with society, but I wouldn't call it love.

Honestly porn and sex are repulsive to me at this point. I only dream of hugs and cuddles.
I don't have as much freedom. I'm under supervision, but I will leave. I have it all planned. Even though my dreams won't be achieved, I might still die in relative peace.
A lot of them were very persistent. Sometimes for weeks even if I gave them a cold shoulder. Even if it's just lust, I still want to feel love the way women do. I want to be a caring person, I want to be someone who's trusted.

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>A lot of them were very persistent.
I do recall one person that kept asking you for contact information insistently. I suppose I can see how you feel, but I can't help but be pessimistic about such a dream. My experience tells me that you'd get tired of being a woman after a while too. You'd begin to feel as though the love you receive is fake, or not deserved, since you didn't do anything to attain it. It seems like a foolish thing to complain about, but many people feel that way, I'm sure.

Certainly doesn't invalidate your wanting to experience that, though. Feelings are often rather misguided, yet difficult to ignore.

How do I make my own 3D waifu?

Don't leave with the intention of dying. Leave with the intention of living. You can die when you're old.

>You'd begin to feel as though the love you receive is fake, or not deserved, since you didn't do anything to attain it
Yes I'm aware of that. That's why I insist that it's a path that's uniquely mine. I'm fine with not achieving anything. It's definitely not something I'd recommend to anyone else, nor do I want to minimize the problems that men and women face. It's just what I believe would work for me.
I'm not going with the intention to die, but I don't expect to reach an old age. I'll likely need painkillers for as long as I live. I'm already going way over my allowed doses. I don't think that'll sustain me forever.

I see, that's fair enough. To me, it's sort of enviable that you're fine with not achieving anything. I daydream of things falling into my lap, but I'm sure I wouldn't feel happy for long if it actually happened to me.

>I'll likely need painkillers for as long as I live.
I must have missed one of your threads, but what did they do to you?

So will you be my ebf or what

I'm just tired, that's all. It feels like for me to succeed it would take 10 times the effort than the average person. I only wish for a quiet, uneventful life somewhere rural.

They're causing me pain through some means. To get me addicted to drugs and destroy my mind, I assume. They know how much I value my clarity. So far it's working, I can barely even sleep without them. For someone who's preached sobriety so much, I feel pathetic.
Only for hugs.

So if you were to stop taking painkillers, what would happen?

I just feel like the right side of my head is going to explode among some other pains. Can't sleep either.

I'll hold you and cuddle after I fuck your butt

>They're causing me pain through some means.
When did this start? Did you just wake up one day and the pain was there?

What kind of painkillers are they giving you for this? That sounds like something you'd just take an ibuprofen for. Unless it's chronic.

Kind of. I don't recall exactly how it all went down. But they sabotaged me from achieving my goal. That's when it all began. Sorry, I wish I could tell in greater detail, but it's hard to remember, and probably embarrassing too for my failure.
It's a bit complicated. You see, they do give me drugs, but I also have my own non-prescription painkillers. It's a bit of a mess. I don't always take what they give me and I'm not even sure what that is (tranquilizers or something? I don't want to know or care). So that's how I live day by day.

Hmm... Well, in any case, good luck. I hope things will get better once you move to another country.

Thanks. I know you probably think I'm a lunatic, but I appreciate you talking to me anyways.

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You're not really a lunatic. You have some issues, but unless you're hiding something from us, you don't necessarily seem like you need to be loaded down with drugs.