Call suicide hotline

I thought they couldn't send cops to you. Isn't it anonymous?

Bad advice is not advice, playing devil's advocate doesn't accomplish anything here.

Yup, same exact words were tossed In my direction, I just hung up loaded up on some dopamine and sat outside. If you're calling the hotline you don't really wanna die you just don't see any other options available, but there's stuff out there, like rape you could become a professional rapist or murderer or you can volunteer for a charity. There's tons of paths you can take that aren't suicide.

Please tell us what did you want her to say, genuinely interested

Nope they can trace your call or something they do and will send the police to your place if you tell them you're going to kill yourself. They tell you they'll do it if they sense that you might be in danger.

>there's tons of stuff out there
>like rape
>or charity
You started out with an insane premise and doubled down with a completely different suggestion. I'm almost wondering if you actually intend to suggest he does both and rape the homeless, but think that maybe it's better I don't stick around for an answer.

Get help. Don't give anyone else advice, you are incompetent.

I'm not entirely sure, if I knew then I'd just tell myself and not outsource my internal problem-solving to someone else (which requires a level of trust that I do not feel comfortable affording to anyone)

>devils advocate
You called a hotline who's job is to prevent you from killing yourself looking for a therapist. Go to an actual therapist you retard.

That cost money and I'm too socially inept to even know where to start

she's a volunteer trying to save lives, she's not a free 900-number therapist punching-bag, quit wasting municipal resources with your self-absorbed asshattery!

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>implying I haven't

Shit ain't cheap and she really couldn't relate at all. I'm not sure that there is anything she actually could have done, now that I think about it. I suppose the real problem is that I am unsure of how to properly identify any solutions or condense all of my concerns without breaking off into innumerable tangents

I actually really, really liked his answer, and I might even save it, if he doesn't mind, of course.

An answer like that shows he is someone who doesn't strongly consider an option like suicide as plausible because of how much finality there is in being dead. He clearly expects to live a little more. That is someone who must be fun to be around. Live a little.

Start with Google
Jow Forums is also not going to help you with your problems, but amplify them by justifying your bad behavior. Why it's the asshole of the internet.
You're describing spiraling thoughts which (armchair diagnosis) is akin to anxiety and other mental illnesses. So as kindly as I can say: fuck your stupid ass concerns and quit thinking about shit, start doing shit.

>quit thinking about shit, start doing shit

Absolutely makes sense, man. I was NEET for a long time, recently did start doing shit, but it's a shit-tier job with hours and hours of driving where there's nothing to do but think. And then there's the part where I come home to four blank walls and pure silence. Everything has to change, but a man making a few bucks above minimum wage cannot afford to just restart his life like that.

the suicide hotline just gives people the final push to commit suicide because their advice is so bad it erases any hope you had of being understood.

It's so goddamn bad. Never ever call that stupid hotline; those people will never understand what it's like to be on the other side. If you really want suicide help, Jow Forums is unironically your best bet because at least here you know people don't have any ulterior motives.

That makes sense but surely during the conversation, while you were tired of following the script, you discovered you were expecting something else?

It's like when you leave a decision to a coinflip but before the coin is on the floor you already kinda know what you actually want.

Not the guy you're talking to but I did think about this when I called the hotline and came to the realization that the boomer on the other end didn't really know how to help me. I was expecting this person to be so sympathetic that they'd solve a problem or two of mine for me, but all she had was platitudes and when those crumbled beneath her feet she started baiting me to give out personal info and if I was going to kill myself or not, it so rude and out of the blue the way she said those things that it was basically an admittion that she wasn't there to help people with actual problems she was just there to stroke her ego while telling teenagers that "it gets better" I didnt argue with her though I realized she wanted the call to end so I said "niggers" and hung up. I think people who call said hotline and feel the way OP does had a similar experience the person that picks up the phone is a narcissist looking to jerk off their ego.

what they want is for someone to surprise them by validating their feelings. Wanting to be surprised isn't that uncommon or impossible.

I've certainly considered that sort of logic, but there are so many "coin flips" that I am simply indifferent about, due to desperation or some sort of pessimism. I know that the suicide hotline didn't help and I still ended up spending the rest of my drive considering whether I would submit my 2 weeks notice before killing myself or just doing it this week. It doesn't feel right or wrong, like other things do when I apply the coin toss logic. I think that a man's perception becomes acutely myopic when he's spent years this deep in the void, possibly irreversibly.

Not saying restart your life. I'm saying do shit. OP said he was jobless, which means he either has unlimited free time or some sort of responsibility. I work overtime every week for shit pay. I spend my time reading and exercising, among other things, because they're something to do other than think all day.

How is that shit suppose to work? How would talking to someone about my problem going to make me not want to kill myself? If I have already thought this through to the end, but wanted to make a last-ditch effort to not do this, why would I want the advice (calling it advice is a fucking stretch) of someone who, in all likelihood, has no experience with what I'm going through? Is this a joke?

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I am OP, I do have a job and I do spend my off-days trying to improve myself, but since the job is from 5am-5pm 4 days a week, those 4 days really can suck the life out of me. No matter how great those 3 days off could be (and they never really are), I'm still trapped in my head at work since it is mostly a solitary job that offers no upward momentum and, based upon the lack of response from other employers, any chance at lateral or upward employment with another company. It feels quite similar to working in a prison, which is how many members of my industry (wastewater treatment) actually end up with the experience to be my superiors.

>because they're something to do other than think all day
This is normalfag philosophy, get the fuck out.

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They person who took my call was noticeably annoyed when I said I was sick of living in a society that venerates whores and faggots.

>hurr durr normalfag philosophy
Anything that isn't Doomer, death to trans and fuck the government is "normalfag" philosophy. Shut the fuck up, faggot.
My bad, I skimmed your post, mustn't of seen "better" before "job".
Working 12 hour shifts isn't good for anyone's mental or physical health. I'd say the first step would be walking out. Figure out how much you need to live off of and line up somewhere else. Even fast food doesn't work you that hard (most of the time)

depending on where you live there's a good chance you'll get put on a list and get a visit from the cops depending on what you say some places just calling is enough to get a visit and possibly thrown into a psych ward

Lol wot? You can think about things without being a doomer or wanting to kill yourself, you're just spouting no thought ideology.

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>frog-poster
>"I think about things"
No, no you don't. I was not describing philosophy, I was describing how to treat depression: distraction. I was hospitalized when I was 7 years old so unless you got 20+ years of experience dealing with dehabilitating depression and therapists/psychiatrists day-in day-out, shut the fuck up you meme-philosophy fag.

Why do motherfuckers believe that somebody elses WORDS are going to magically make you non depressed and suicidal? What are you expecting, honestly? The only person who can fix your problems is you, bitch. Some rando you talk with over the phone who speaks to 1000s of other suicidal crazies isnt gonna say the magic phrase that cures your illness. You blame them for not being able to perform miracles, that is pathetic.

>maybe get a puppy

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Something to do with the fact that humans evolved to feel better after talking about their grievances to others, it's also helpful to get someone else to look at a problem you have from their perspective and tell you what you could do, but the suicide hotline people are only good for reading platitudes since they have to get through tons of calls probably. Also you are mentally retarded or dangerously close to it, consider killing yourself and your household since they're likely just as brain dead.

If youre expecting anything good to come from calling a random asshole who doesnt care about you and telling them all your problems then youre brain dead as well. You arent going to get anything resembling a personalized experience where they genuinely feel empathy for you.

They want to keep you on the line until cops can get there most likely
Reddit does this as well. I made a BS suicide post from my neighbors wifi and despite the obvious sarcasm my neighbor got a knock on the door by police a few hours later. He almost got taken to a hospital, I kinda feel bad about it so I use a VPN whenever I do that now

>I use a VPN whenever I do that now

Do you just write suicidal posts in your spare time or something?

Not often. Some subs instantly delete it, others there's a lot of idiots who post huge walls of "motivational" crap. Can't do it twice in the same sub of course. I like seeing people get so upset over the thought of someone taking their own life - do you not realize how often people get abortions? Why aren't they crying over those?

No but i have never heard of any good or bad stories of people who called .

>my body my choice
>except it's not

You'd think pro-choice people would be pro-suicide as well

Literally what do you want from those people? What are they supposed to do other than give shitty advice?

>distract yourself
It's not advisable to think distraction is how to treat depression.
>I was hospitalized when I was 7 years old
I don't care about your anecdote about having 20+ years of depression; I'm sure it was horrible and I'm glad you got over it, but saying how many years you had depression doesn't justify your cookie cutter way of treating it. I also have plenty of experience with depression, and I got through it by justifying my existence with philosophy and many doctors. What I'm saying is that treatment highly individualized and saying some off-hand comment/advice to someone could, contrary to what you or many other people might believe, hurt their situation instead of help it.
This is my issue with things like suicide hotlines: they don't give a quality enough answer to peoples issues and are actually counter-productive. Also, judging someones intelligence on a pic unrelated is not nice.

>It's not advisable to think distraction is how to treat depression.
Distraction is what trained therapists teach you, in a nutshell
>I don't care about your anecdote about having 20+ years of depression; I'm sure it was horrible and I'm glad you got over it,
Hey dipshit, chronic depression is a chemical imbalance, you don't "get over it". You learn to cope. All common coping methods do the same thing: remove your mind from the place it's at. Distraction.
>but saying how many years you had depression doesn't justify your cookie cutter way of treating it.
It's not cookie cutter, it's a distillation for a random on the internet because I have not given him therapy for months to learn his nature.
> I got through it by justifying my existence with philosophy and many doctors.
Acute depression is not chronic depression. Being hospitalized introduces you to all kinds of mental illness. Your stupid as struggles with existential crises are irrelevant to experience with professionals.
>What I'm saying is that treatment highly individualized
Distract yourself is not some offhand advice that will damage people, and you sure picked the right poster to argue with given the thread is full of much more toxic advice. Distraction is, again, a distillation of coping techniques you dipshit. No shit it's an individual problem, hence why I said to seek a therapist who can analyze OPs habits over time
>This is my issue with things like suicide hotlines: they don't give a quality enough answer to peoples issues and are actually counter-productive. Also, judging someones intelligence on a pic unrelated is not nice.
Using Pepe in general is something for retards who actually save Jow Forums memes. It's a calculated judgment, based on your armchair "read philosophy, it helped me bro" recommendation.

Fuck off dumbshit

PS suicidal hotlines are FOR THE SUICIDAL. Suicide is an impulse decision based on feelings that will, 99% of the time, pass. Suicide hotlines are trained to keep you from jumping until your mood breaks, they're going to talk in platitudes to encourage you to break a toxic train of thought. Using them ineffectively is not an argument against their existence.

>you don't "get over it". You learn to cope
I knew I was going to use the phrase wrong, my bad, what you said was what I meant.
>Your stupid as struggles with existential crises are irrelevant to experience with professionals
I've had experience with professionals.
There is only so much can say in a Jow Forums post, I didn't only want people to real philosophy. You could even consider thinking as a form of distraction if you want. This was, for me, more about how shitty the suicide hotline system is in the U.S. and how it needs to be reformed or abolished completely.

Yes, but there are people who are able to see past them. Their platitudes mean nothing to them. I'm not saying that it doesn't work, I'm saying it needs to be revised.

I was around professionals and in group therapy from 7-14, therapists occasionally ever since, and had suicidal thoughts as early as I can remember, back when I was so young I thought putting a knife through my hand would be a way to kill myself.
My point was to recommend OP to a professional (above) and to give him the best, non-personal advice possible. As you said, there is no one size fits all. I do consider philosophical thought and reading to be distractions, because dwelling in your negative thoughts rather than doing *anything* makes you stagnate and makes you feel worse. I could've recommended things that work for me, but I don't believe in anyone having the same "solution" to depression.

I've never called one but I've had professional therapists get visibly upset when I unload my worldview on them. Some basic bitch call center tier suicide hotline worker would probably become suicidal themselves if I made a call to them.

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different user but
>abolished completely
will never happen. just because you or i think it's pointlessly unhelpful doesn't mean there aren't 10 more out there who are feeling suicidal or "suicidal" and just want to hear some stranger lie to them for an hour. normal people LOVE being lied to.

This is true but like
Said, the majority are not going to have a problem with platitudes. Most who see through them have long term issues that need serious therapy to address.

>"Are you in immediate danger?" or "Are you planning to commit suicide?" she really WAS just baiting me?
Yep, it gives them a justification to call the cops.
And as result pass you and your problems into someone else's hands.

>but there's stuff out there, like rape
Yep
Just kidnap a cute young girl and rape her for the next few years, have two kids with her and keep her until she's 29.

>If you really want suicide help, Jow Forums is unironically your best bet because at least here you know people don't have any ulterior motives.
And also because here people will just tell you to kill yourself so you decide not to do it just to spite them.

>wondering if you actually intend to suggest he does both and rape the homeless

No, he's suggesting he does the three things he listed:
>become a professional rapist
>murderer
>volunteer for a charity

He wants OP to rape the homeless after he kills them.

>Do you just write suicidal posts in your spare time or something?
Mitchell Heisman wrote a suicide note that was over 1900 pages long complete with citations and a bibliography that encompassed all of his convictions about religion, society and human nature in general.

i called and they called the cops on me and i was like 13. real fucking good when my parents are freaking out when 3 cops show up to the house.

discord.io/pRkMu23

I-6su

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Therapists literally say the exact same shit as a suicide hotline, but you think that their version is more helpful because you've thrown hundreds of dollars down the drain for a peptalk from a pseudo-intellectual who only cares about money and nothing else

Dawm dude am sorry , what did the cops say .

I don't know what they intend to accomplish here, scaring the fuck out of the parents will lead to overcorrection and just make life worse

>taking volunteers for a suicide hotline that almost no one involved ever takes seriously seriously
I shiggy diggy
Only difference is that one has the legal authority to prescribe drugs with effectiveness that is questionable at best.

Regardless of your opinion of abortion, comparing abortion and suicide is dumb af.

what do you mean? I gotta do something by myself? The solution to all my life's problems aren't one click away? But that's not how it is on youtube! Not fair

those suicide hotlines are exclusively for teenagers, especially teenage girls, that go "i got bully at school :( " and aren't looking at suicide from a rational point of view, but from just an emotional outburst. So when she's like "go to college, go to hobbies, go to clubs" its all just flowchart listings she's told to say that will snap 15 year old goth girl to not try and overdose on ibuprofen.

The ironic part is that robots behave like teenage girls but are even less rational about solving the problems. Its one thing to threaten od on ibuprofen and then go back to school the next day ignoring the problem. Its another to blog about how bad the hotline is to reaffirm that muh depression is totally special and then youre still mad sad and feeling lazy perpetually

I called them once when I was in a really bad way thinking it would help to vent or something
>Call
>They immediately tell me they can only spend a certain amount of time with someone
>Bleed my heart out about how I'm feeling
>Only responses are "oh....uh huh.....yeah"
>It really sounds like she was just flipping through a magazine while on the phone with me
>Say I feel better and end the call
>Feel even worse
I don't know what I expected but I didn't expect to feel worse.

she gave you all the answers.
Suicide hotlines are not for people who will kill themselves just lonely losers

Why are you acting like you aren't one of us? And if you really aren't, why are you even here?

>if you feel like killing yourself eat a spoonful of sugar and stand in the backyard for a few minutes

This guy knows his shit.

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why though
what happens then
you feel better just like that ?

if they actually cared theyd set up a suicide handjob place

>he doesnt know
user pls

I've called my country's suicide hotline 100+ times and every time it was 'occupied', even at 3AM in the morning. Which is nice, since it tells me that they don't fucking care if I were to kms lol

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You are a wise sage.. thankyou

Google: Therapists that take [your insurance]