Whats the most evil thing youve ever done? would you do it again?

im realising now that this thread is getting quite depressing, sorry for making it although i guess it doesnt hurt too much to open up on a tunisian egg juggling forum

i used to do the same when i was little, i wouldnt say it was the most evil thing. most children dont have a good grasp on the concept of suffering

what did your parents think about this? is the stereotype about bullies having a rocky family life true? i respect that youre no longer the person you were and that youre ashamed of your past actions, it takes a lot of courage to admit that. i wouldnt be too frazzled though, empathy is learned and you seem like youve emotionally matured

I agree. He did a noble thing if anything. Although obviously if he could afford to go to a vet that would have been better.

>is the stereotype about bullies having a rocky family life true?

In my case, yes. My father beat me in my younger age, he stopped when I became a teenager though because I was hardened and quite Jow Forums from lifting and outdoors activities so he didn't dare touch me. My father also treated my mom really bad, screaming at her and ruining furniture when they were arguing. That's also stopped now because of several reasons, one mainly being that she threatened with divorce, actually got the papers ready and everything. My mom was kind most of the time, but never strict with us, so as kids we didn't learn to behave, she would just take it. My younger brother has severe ADHD and my older brother has aspergers, I am miraculously clean according to tests done in my childhood.
My family is still quite messed up, my dad nowadays tries his best to be a better person as well, tries to be kind, but sometimes he relapses, I think he has some sort of mental problem aswell, but he has never been tested.

Anyways, I'm just venting at this point, but it might serve to learn someone else about something, or just for the sheer experience of knowing that this shit is real.

i think user did the right thing in wanting to end their cats suffering, its like the trolley problem. on one hand they could have been a bystander to their cats suffering, or they could have intervened and lessened potentially more suffering. when you step in though, you become the perpetrator instead of the bystander. its an ethical dilemma for certain. however, theres a difference between a vet euthanising your pet to doing it yourself. not speaking from experience, but generally vets give and injection to lessen suffering.

Attached: Trolley_problem-1.png (1345x459, 50K)

Oh btw, forgot to answer but my parents didn't really care at all about the bullying, they were more mad that the school was bothering them about it.

>At least it was just a cat.

it was a special cat. it chose me. it trusted me. its heart was broken when it realized what i was doing. it did not understand why i was doing that act of aggression. i was its friend. the person it chose to trust.

i couldnt take it to the vet because i blew all my money on prostitutes. social anxiety prevented me from asking money from relatives. the blame lies on me. that cat could live if the person it chose to trust hadn't indulged in acts of debauchery the week before. it could live if the person it chose to trust could swallow his fear of people and ask for some borrowed money from a relative.

it was a situation that could have been handled much better. it wasn't.

but it was just a fucking cat right.
>People have made this decision about other humans
i dont know what to think about this. its wrong of me to feel like shit because someone is starving in africa
is it wrong of me to feel bad for a killing a pet because someone went through the same but with a person sometime in the history of the earth

--
i was 19yo at the time. i dont remember maybe 18yo.

My mom all throughout schooling was a helicopter mom. Imagine going to school for 14 years and never once being able to dick off with you friends because you have no option other than to be an honor student otherwise you're grounded, and mom is on a first name basis with all your teachers. She ended up applying for some remedial job at my high school by the time I got there and everyone joked that it was to spy on me but this was actually kind of accurate. I had three family members working at the school already in some capacity. Oh and I was also named after the school too so thanks mom & dad.

Senior year I eventually attacked her at home because she cut my steak into like, kindergarten-sized pieces without even asking me. I'm not exactly a fighter, but things got to the point where she was screaming my grandma's name.

There was a massive mental health evaluation afterwards and the doctors eventually figured out via brain tests that I had remnants of concussions from playing football. The whole incident and after-effects were chalked up to post-concussion symptoms and essentially forgotten about after a few years had passed.

I still feel massive guilt over it to the point where I feel like I don't deserve this life and actively think about suicide as pennance. I literally have my dream job & play my dream sport & my parents over the past few years have been openly commenting how proud they are of me but I'm still humiliated over something that happened like ten years ago.

What's worse is that when it all happened, a lot of friends, family, and therapists speculated that it wasn't a CTE outbursts at all and that my mom was actually the problem.

I've never posted about this online anywhere. I don't know how to feel bros.

I emphatize, I really do. It's likely that your mom smothering you was a major contributing factor to the outburst, but it could also be that what the Doctor was saying is true, that you would have kept your cool if it wasn't for the concussions. You honestly shouldn't be too hard on yourself either case, it sounds like a scary experience, but as long as you learn from it you're only going to get a better human being.

I'm just saying count your blessings but not in a christfag way. That doesn't make you an evil person. It just makes you human. In the end you and maybe your cat who was already suffering were really the only ones who suffered because of your actions, and your cat is no longer suffering.

>CTE
This is why football is shit, and you should stop playing it

I understand. This was something I was thinking the other day, being greateful for what I have. I think my life is shit but at the same time it could be much worse and there are certainly a lot of people that have it worse than me. But there is something that its difficult to talk about.
I am not happy and I have this thing inside of me that makes me feel bad for feeling bad. Its weird. Its almost as if I did not have that right. I do think my life is shit, but I am not allowed to think its shit.

I am kind of treading on eggshells as I write this response and I censored myself earlier and I chose to not reply to another poster because I fear being judged for expressing this in detail. Its something I think other people don't feel comfortable thinking about, something they would think less of me if I were to say so.

Maybe I have dehumanized myself many years before in order to cope with life, and I know I am dealing with the consequences. I don't even know how to behave anymore I just feel its wrong of me to think the things I think and feel the things I feel.
I don't have rights, others deserve things before I do. I am wrong, others are right. I serve, others are served.

You know where I am coming from? You feel me, partner?

Lots of people feel this way. You are entitled to feel however you want though. It's what you do with those feelings that matters. I don't have everything together in my life, and I suffer a lot emotionally. It sucks for me and not really anyone else, and I can't control it other than to maybe go to a psychiatrist or therapist yet again. When I think about the fact that just by living in a first world country and working a full time wagie job I am in a better position than like 90% of the world it kind of helps at least in the moments when I'm not in extreme emotional pain. Stoicism is underrated, and it's not about being an unfeeling robot as much as it is just putting your life into perspective.

Oh I quit football immediately. I still love the game but nigger, concussions are not to be fucked with. It's not that you become a potato, it's that it throws off all your emotions and temporarily gives you BPD-like symptoms. When I was really bad I remember asking out a girl I didn't even like, then just like, making fun of her the whole time we "dated." Was doing shit that was just completely out of character. Also my marks dropped like a solid 40%. Went from acing essays to nigger-tier dialect when I wrote.

It's likely that your mom smothering you was a major contributing factor to the outburst, but it could also be that what the Doctor was saying is true, that you would have kept your cool if it wasn't for the concussions.

I definitely noticed a massive improvement once they got me on anti-epilepsy meds which were said to help with concussions, so I've never dismissed the CTE part. I just always knew there was a larger issue at hand that needed to be dealt with.

It was a wild ride.

I accidentally befriended a girl and she wants to date me. Unfortunately I plan to kms within a year. I think I like her, but I don't want to be alive. Don't want to be friends with her for long orelse it will bring her pain when she finds out I will be dead. I rather her forget about me. She is really pretty and kind to me and always wants to talk. I believe she can definitely find someone better. Sorry for blogpost shit type thing. Maybe I could change, but I wouldn't want to change for her only to better myself. It's very selfish of me.

Attached: 1555404181051.jpg (1234x675, 406K)

Beat up a homeless man for no reason. I just wanted to know what it felt like to beat someone up.

I wouldn't do it again, though.

Attached: PcKAlub9-1068x867.jpg (1068x867, 127K)

I don't ever want to make a friend again. It's a terrible thing and gets in the way of my plans. I wish I never interacted with her.

Attached: 1555271331817.jpg (968x928, 84K)

discord.io/pRkMu23

I-l3n

Attached: monobeno 2.jpg (1280x720, 257K)

What are your thoughts on being evil on purpose?

being evil in self-defense, if this makes sense.

I ruined my ex's life. After a couple of years I realized I wasn't loving him as much as he was loving me and I wanted to break up. He never understood this, blinded by love, and fell into depression. He's still depressed and in therapy, and I still do evil by contacting him once in a while because I care about him and I want to know if he's getting better. Everytime I do, I never get an answer, and we just argue for hours. I shouldn't be doing it since I have a boyfriend now, but I guess I'm a bitch.

I could never imagine caring this much about a woman. To me, your ex deserves it for being retarded.

I feel you.

asdlkajsdl original

What do you think about being evil in self-defense?

Sometimes I think I do not want to continue if I have to resort to this. There is nothing in this earth that will make it worth it. If being cruel is what I have to do than I rather not do it.
But I cannot continue by not being cruel.

honestly my first impulse? be 'evil' in order to not feel vulnerable
but ive lived long enough to know that way of thinking is ultimately fruitless and that there is nothing wrong with vulnerability... idk user what do you think?

PLEASE BABY TAKE ME BACK I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

People don't respect who they deem inferior and weak. Not even family members have the decency of looking out for one another. We are more alone than it seems. Its weird. We are sharing this moment right now, this camaraderie, but in a few moments its going to end and the cruelty of the universe will be awaiting for us. And we will be alone with our perception of reality. Its the sort of alone that makes you think you really are alone. I know I am capable of doing terrible things. That I am capable of doing horrible things to an innocent person while I look them in the eye and that I can train myself to not feel a shed of sympathy for their suffering.

This is difficult. I am censoring myself. Its difficult to put into words.
Its a conflict. I don't want to do this, but it seems like I have to.
The alternative is suicide.

Its a trade. Evil and ruthlessness for love. Its difficult to say.
I don't know exactly what is in the end. What I will be trading. But what I do see, is that I have to be ruthless in order to keep going forward. This or suicide.

mommy's boy
why would you contemplate suicide for this? just show her you're not as shit of a person as she is, maybe even have some children, however that might not be the best idea, considering your family's background of mental illnesses