Go to psychologists website to request an appointment

I'm wondering if I should jump ship now to be honest, in the email he told me that his office is one of those large buildings with hundreds of suites and security in the lobby/plaza will ask for a photo ID when I go in and then I guess I take an elevator up to his floor. I'm so fucking distraught. This is what I get for trying to improve my mental state

idk why this made me laugh, anyway don't be ashamed, they can't tell anyone anything about you by law; not even the fact that you're a patient of theirs. as long as you don't tell them you have an immediate plan to hurt yourself or others you'll be fine. i was just as scared as you were about getting a therapist, try not to overthink it (i know that's hard)

I had to show my i.d as well. All my medical records now reflect my anxiety and depression. It's okay to be nervous. You're human. I actually cancelled my appointments a couple of times. But then I went back. It's a process. Healing takes time. Seeing the psychologist actually helped me put a name and description to what I was feeling. I got the tools i needed to cope and positively deal with my emotional trauma. Don't worry. Today you are scared, but one day soon, you will be glad you went. It's okay, user. I understand the need to be anonymous. I was afraid to confront reality. I wasn't just an anonymous person with bad emotions. I had to accept that the person whose name I wrote down on the paperwork was me. I had to accept that the picture and name on the i.d was me. The medical file was mine. It was me, this private person who acted normal in public was the person who had been suffering for years. It's the first step and the hardest. You are nervous and afraid, but you will be okay.

This as well.

I had the irrational fear that everyone would somehow find out all about my traumas. No one knows! Don't run away. You can do this. We did. You will too.

i promise it's not a big deal. i live in a major city and when i go to the doctor i have to show my id to the door staff and get a ticket, i promise it will be okay. you'll be nervous the first time and after that it will be routine.

Normal people won't find out about your sessions but the government can get access to everything the psychologist writes and legally force him to spill everything you've talked about to their investigators. In fact, if you've been involved in any way with unusual activities in your life, had an IEP as a kid, etc, I wouldn't be surprised if he gets in contact with DHS or FBI or at least the local police department and gives them progress reports/heads up, if not more.

You must be willing to be profiled and targeted if you share information. At least you won't be publicly embarrassed by peers or family but worse things are possible but implausible. I'm not even paranoid, this is mostly found in the papers you sign on privacy, that he legally has to share anything with the cops/feds.

If you commit a serious crime, obviously. Of course if you are suspected of making bombs or some shit, the police need that information. But it's a very severe case. I've gotten speeding tickets. When I filed for citizenship, I had to do an FBI background check and give them all of my update medical history. I'm fine. Ive had no issues with the government and no one has come knocking on my door. I work a job for the DOD and never had issues because I have depression and anxiety on my records.

thank you for writing this for op, he needed it

It's my pleasure. We are all afraid and paranoid sometimes, but that's okay. We all eventually will be okay.

>All my medical records now reflect my anxiety and depression.
cool now you can't get some specific jobs
although if you end up with neetbux it might be worth it

That's cool user, I thought all government jobs beyond IRS-tier need perfect mental/physical condition. I had a history of making threats when I was a dumb kid and I know DHS/FBI looked into me (confirmed by school admin). I'm just very cautious now and already write too much on here, which I need to cut back on. I'm completely different and would never hurt anyone now, but I have a feeling it's a permanent mark. That's why I was warning OP if he's paranoid, there are reasons to be sometimes, if he's done bad things before.

That's fine. I can't join the military either. That's okay. I'm happy with where I'm at. Would I trade getting help for a job that would only affect my psychological state of mind negatively? Hell no. My mental health comes first. Not everything is so bad, user.

I understand, user. Don't feel bad. Every situation is different. We all did stupid things as children. It might be on your record, but there are solutions for that too. Live your life as peacefully and kind as you can. I believe you when you say you would never hurt anyone. Also, you're right. I'm not qualified for every job. That's okay. It is what it is. I'm not aiming for something fancy, just comfort. Granted, my experience is different that what others may have gone through, so it does very greatly. My point is that, yes, some doors will close, but having sanity is one I'd never shut. And hey, neetbux are fine too. You do what you have to do.

Anyway, I'm off. To everyone who may have stumbled on this thread and need someone to talk to, get the help you need. Life is life. It has much suffering and sadness. We carry regrets and dwell on past mistakes and dissapointment, but there is always a solution that doesn't involve death. There is much kindness and love in the world. Whatever we find those things in is different for all of us. Some of us are angry at the world and the people who brought us to this stage in our lives in which our minds have broken. Even when we find something to be happy about, we will always chase after the next thing to smile about. We are always running from something or to something. Sometimes we have to just stand still and accept we are lost. Don't worry about being afraid. Don't worry about not getting help right away. It will come eventually. Be like the wendigo, starve for your taste of humanity until you achieve it. (Don't eat people) Never give up. Yes, some paths end, like not being able to work at your dream job or enlisting. It is different for everyone. But eventually you will get to where you needed to be all along. Drugs, alcoholism, depression, these are all illnesses that must be dealt with to help us advance in life. It will be hard at first, but with a clear mind, we will find our way. It's normal to be afraid or anxious. We all deserve love and happiness. We will all get it. Don't give up. Thank you to everyone who commented here, offering the pros and cons. We can't make the decision for you, only add our own experiences. Regardless, I wish every one of you all the love and happiness you deserve. Be kind and never ever give up.