Share your feels, Jow Forums

Share your feels, Jow Forums

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cant deadlift above 250lbs

no point in anything, constant fear of dying young from some stupid random cancer or something. live in a state of dichotomy between total apathy towards life and not wanting to die.

Life isnt a race to see who can live the longest for fucks sake

finishing a cancer treatment at 26 and i'll tell you it just doesnt go away i thought id enjoy life more but here i am healthy and nice and still spiteful angry and sad just as i was before i got sick

Just super overwhelmed

glad your healthy but damn i wanna end my whole shit now that you said that

I just feel so lost. The number of friends I have dwindles every year. What friends I do have I always feel like I'm watching from the sidelines when I'm with them. I don't know how to act. I don't know how to conduct myself around other people. I'm constantly wavering between a sense of misanthropy and a yearning for a genuine connection with another human being. It feels like it's just been so long. I don't like being with my gf. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. I'm tired of people just, seemingly at random, asking "are you okay?" in the middle of interactions. I'm tired of being so cripplingly anxious and sad.

It just all feels like it's getting to be too much.

I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t turn this around

lads I think I know what death feels like
you know when you pass out completely from over drinking and have a gap in memory? death is like that but forever. doesn't sound so bad
that being said, don't kill yourself (unless you're a tranny)

>Realization I spent so much time becoming the perfect man to find a wife just to realize I didn't grow my social game for the past couple of years, meaning I am fucked to ever find a mate and will always be stuck posting on here.

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how do you not find a point in anything but still want to hold on to life more ? makes no sense

I’m kinda anxious to ask this girl out. She offered to take me out awhile ago and now I feel like I’ve waited too long. Did I fuck up?

Damn, are you me?

I feel like I'm mostly on the sidelines now. My work doesn't help my mood either, but I'm hoping to change that next year. I'm burned out. I'm not sure how to make new friends now that I'm older. I've been burned before by some friends which makes me distrustful of people, but I do want to meet new people/friends. I'm growing apart from the friends I have now but maybe it's for the better.

This is why it is painful, i simultaneously feel apathetic towards life but also feel panic about not living it. Its not a motivating feeling, just one that suffocates.

>Good body
>Good job
>no friends or social skills
Haha oops I think I missed something haha

Every friend I have ever had now actively tries to avoid me, and every person I meet does the same thing. It's been like this for 5-6 years and I'm starting to lose track.

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My old man got an extremely rare form of cancer a while back and even though he has survived far longer than the doctors ever thought he would, his life is nothing like it used to be. Debilitating pain to the point where he can almost never leave the house or walk around for more than an hour or so because he can just collapse randomly and be unable to do anything the rest of the day. Became unemployed, can't do the things he loves anymore. The cancer also never goes away and he is on chemo till he dies, chemo that the cancer actually gets resistant to over time. He's now on the strongest gnarliest stuff you can get, shit has terrifying side effects that makes me ill just thinking about. After this stops working he is at the end of the road. Sometimes I think how terrible it is that all they can do is just stretch the inevitable out over a longer time period. Why's it gotta be like that. But he never sees it this way, he thanks God for it all and says it has changed his perspective on life/pain/etc and has come to embrace it. Its hard to understand from the outside, he worked so hard and gave up so much and has been so kind to people.
I dont know why I'm saying all this but your post made me think about it and I felt compelled. I hope you find the peace you need somehow.

I can't get away from my ex. She works in my apartment building. It's this weird on-again-off-again thing and it fucking sucks. I'm too kind to her and I let her come back into my life. She has some of my things and every time I've tried to ask her about them she gets super upset and says she gladly wants to return them but never does.

Her mom comes by my work sometimes and she really adores me. It sucks because every time I'm about to move on or start seeing someone, my ex comes back into my life and we somehow reconcile. Each time the good lasts longer than the bad but I can never tell when it's going to go bad.

God I'm pathetic. But all of this pent up rage is doing wonders for my body. I've never worked out more in my life.

I wonder if finding a gf/wife and experiencing sex and intimancy will make me feel more complete. Already content with life as it is. Trying to push myself into social situations to "level up" and get rid of my nervousness/shyness. Body is there, but mind needs more work.

I stopped lifting 2 months ago, started smoking again and ate less than 1000 calories daily. I'm now like 62kg. Trying to stop smoking again and eating more.. I hate myself..

Had sex and ended my 10 month dry spell the other night, am now unreasonably anxious to the point of losing sleep thinking that she's pregnant and I have turbo AIDS

I'm a healthy and strong young man who by all means should be raising a solid family and contribute to society at this point, but society has gone so much down the shitter that all I do is keep improving myself in the delusion that one day I will attract a woman who will not be a total degenerate, despite having internalized the knowledge of the inherent flaws of female nature. I'm very much on of "the beautiful ones" from the mouse utopia experiment, and I have no hope that this will ever change. I don't know what I live for asides from myself, and I feel like living for myself isn't enough.

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I go on Yelp, look for bars that are near me, look at the pictures, save some of them and then proceed to post them on FB, pretending to have a social life.

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My ejaculation volume decreased and hair are falling off
Is it over before even starting?

It didn't. You just worry about different shit

I see, not surprising seeing how some of my friends gained worries/spend a lot of time with their girlfriends.

If you don't have a social life, who are you pretending towards that you have one?

Don't have a job, don't have any friends, don't like my family very much and they live hours away, pissing away all the money I've saved up, don't have any hobbies or anything I'm passionate about
i'd kill myself but it feels like too much work

Every time I post on Jow Forums I hope to get replies or get called based. I won't lie, I just want my thoughts to be heard.

Fitness-wise, I'm kinda stuck and haven't had the balls to do a bulk or body-recomp (been basically cutting on and off for a few years now). Relatively close to getting to 1/2/3/4 pl8 but I need to step it up

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I guess my story isn't as tragic as you guys but I still feel the pain of being dumped by my own fiancee, someone I've spent the best 5 years with.

I quit my (relatively) well-paid job to pursue my master degree (full time research with grants). We're not exactly poor but we do have to cut on our spending and I have to devote my time on my research that not only that I let myself go, I also didn't spend enough time with her. I was halfway with my research that one day, she just left with a note and our engagement ring, apparently she had an affair with one of her colleagues at work.

I'm not even mad, just disappointed at her and more importantly, myself. I took a sabbatical for one full semester, went to gym and just spend several hours there, lifting, running , cycling, just to get the dopamine going in brain and adrenaline in my blood. I lost close to 40 pound, gained most of my self dignity and some of the gym girls (and those younger girls at college) even gave me their phone numbers but I just can't. Not even for a casual one night stand. I still love her and when I saw she living happily with with her new family, I just feel like all those things I do are for nothing

F-fake it till you make it, right?

Losing weight takes awhile and i'm waiting till I get in better shape from that and working out during the weight loss to actually start socializing. Just really lonely for the most part.

Honestly suck it up and cut to 10 % bf and bulk from there. You should bulk at least 4 months for every month of cutting. I believe you can make it user if you put sheer effort into it.

Thanks for the advice fren

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Same here

I believe I don't deserve to be loved and have made peace with the fact that I will die alone.

However, I don't want to wait until I'm 80 to die from old age. Preferably 40-45 at the latest. How do I achieve a decent death bros?

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What's your height and bw? Post body if possible?

It's tough but I keep thinking it'll be better eventually and it keeps me going. Good luck on your weightloss user.

Height is 5'10"
BW was 176 last time I weighed

Thanks user. I hope your dad endures and I wish you and your family better days. My cancer was nothing compared to this and I feel like an ungrateful imbecile.

Thats quitter talk bro. You're probably no older than 35 at the most and I bet youre a lot younger than that. You just haven't found something that really clicks yet to make it worthwhile. Branch out a bit and try some new things. Even unorthodox things can make that connection. Sailing was that thing for me. Dying in your 40s is a sorry way to go, most people haven't gotten around to doing everything they might want to yet because some of it requires amassing some wealth or skills and what not and that takes time.

I see, you stand a chance to be 180-185 lean with average genetics if you cut/bulk correctly. When you lean, insulin sensitivity is boosted so you have easier time gaining muscle.

I need drugs to study but I don't even know where to start. Is Adderall a meme or is it good to memorize stuff for tests?

Everyone is conditioned to believe theyre not enough/undeserving of love/trash etc so they become active consumers and keep the economy rolling. Would you eat fast food, buy video games and throw money at stupid shit if you were genuinely satisfied with your life?

Dont be a victim of the stupidest scam ever created user. You're great. Youre beautiful, inteligent and deserve the world. A diamond is no less diamond just because its buried in the shit. Pick it up, clean it and carve a jewel out of it. You deserve better.

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>You just haven't found something that really clicks yet to make it worthwhile

I already have plans though. I plan to join the air force and then get some sort of career in nuclear engineering and I want to achieve the best physique I possibly can. I also have a booklsit I want to finish but I'll be done before I'm in my early 40's

However, I don't plan living beyond 40 because I have accepted that I am incapable of being in a relationship with others and am content with being alone.

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I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to take it as a "it could be worse" kinda thing. He would never frame things that way either. Just made me think about stuff is all. He's a lot older and so the effects are just gonna be different(not easier OR harder), mental and physical. Dont beat yourself up about it, you've just got different trials and we all gotta face em our own way.

Just because you're not in a relationship doesnt mean your life should end at 40 man. And for the record I don't buy that you can't have any sort of relationship with anyone. I was going to say "unless youre a serial killer" but for fucks sakes even most of them have relationships of some sort. If you join the air force you'll probably make AT LEAST mild friendships

Interesting...I never really paid attention to insulin when I was cutting but now I'm pretty curious about it. Thanks user

>Did I fuck up?
why dont you ask to her? "hey is the offer still aviable?" good luck

Np, download Eric Helms books on nutrition and training. These helped me a lot. You can find them somewhere to download, probably on 7chan fit request thread.

Bro I feel so fucking down
My car insurance doubled if I dont pay 1144 by September I lose my license
I need to find a new place to live by Nov 1st
My bank account is -812 cause I accidentally deposited in to my Gemini account instead of withdrawing
My car needs maintenance and idk how much longer its gonna last
And my boss wont give me a raise because the owner doesnt eant anyone making more then minimum wage EXCEPT one chick who uses her anxiety and depression to manipulate everyone
I'm looking for other jobs but noone has called me or the positions have been filled
I'm fucking STRESSED

I got a dope ass gf though I'm just hoping I dont lose her due to being in such a shit position

quads of truth

I had a really amazing DMT trip about two weeks ago and everything changed.

Although I'm feeling like a burnout and my work output has gone down quite a lot, the depression and anxiety are gone, no longer am stressing so much about women, naturally losing my need for cigs to the point where I'm smoking two a day at most, and my discipline towards eating and lifting is improving a ton.

People will call bullshit on this and I would too, but I swear to everything that's sacred that during my trip Zyzz came to me and possessed my body for a few hours. It was amazing.

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I am still suspectible to evils of porn, when I start watching it, I turn screen off and fap as to reduce exposure to it.

Have to conquer this one day.

I lifted my ugliness away but now I discover I focused too much on that but not enough on my social gains (I can befriend people, but most just look at me as the local helpgiver instead of friend, I have only 1 real friend)

How do I get more sociable and less inhibated ?

Listen user, if you two really have a strong connection you’ll make it through it. Afterwards you’ll come out a stronger couple. Godspeed user, I know you’ll make it through

I feel like this dude

I'm pretty sure my gf is becoming gay. I hate my job more than anything but it's too easy, has too great of benefits, and pays too much to quit. I want to go back to school, but I also want to save up dosh and sail the seas until the day I die all alone.
I have made one friend though in my adult life, and that's nice.

Don't worry, user. If you can't quit cold turkey, get a vape and get laughed at until you realize it's stupid and quit. Then everything will fall into place.

Your dad is based. Monday's workout is for him.

This sucks bro. No way to get the account stuff fixed? You got any skills or anything to set you apart? Lift enough to try and be a personal trainer on the side maybe?

I do the same

>builtfat 200 lb 5'9" user, lifting for 5 years now (been meaning to cut for forever but I have no self control), but by normalfag standards (including my physical therapist) I'm apparently not fat at all
>never had a longterm relationship
>went to university housing competition event
>get kinda into it, wear the shirt they gave out for my dorm and wear all of that color, even get a bandana and some football face paint on
>keep getting sent out because my dorm's consistently lacking male volunteers for challenges
>getting really into it, even help lead a few chants for my dorm
>near the end of the event
>accidentally back into a girl from another dorm while her friend is taking a photo of her
>apologize
>she responds asking if she can take a picture with me
>her friend wants to take a picture with me too
>they're both cute korean girls
>get their IGs and the first girl sends me the pictures, including the incident picture of me backing into her (2nd one never did)
>been talking to her for a while and she seemed positive about hanging out
>asked her to the aquarium and botanical garden and will maybe see if she wants to cook pasta with me afterward
>she hasn't said yes but she's asking more and more about it late into the night (and at this point it's 3am so I presume she's gone to bed)

Anons, would you say I'm crazy if I thought the whole thing was a setup to get me to talk to her in the first place? Maybe not because she's miring but just because I was very into the event and even dressed up well for it. I also feel a little different about her than other girls I've hit up/asked out like I don't feel like there's anything at stake here. I like the feeling, and hope it stays with me if she turns me down.

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We all gonna make it bro

Family friend who had been married for 35 years got a divorce.
I'm terrified of investing into anyone because I acknowledge it can all come crashing down at any time

I think nofappers are retarded but my dick is getting softer and gf is sad and I should probably stop coomin to deal with stress

Only one way to find out niga

>stop initiating conversations
>no contact for a week

erry tiem

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My life is much better this semester. I'm taking classes that actually interest me, exercising well, improving my craft, and surprisingly talking to more people. However I somehow still feel empty when everything is going well.

Today, out of nowhere I genuinely felt good and told myself "its good to be alive". Hasnt happened in a very long time

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got laid this summer, hung out with friends, still feel like i wasted 3 months. not sure what i'm doing anymore.

Even though I’ve given myself completely to studying and improving myself as a virtuous human being by being simple, generous, etc and having read a decent amount of anthropology, history, philosophy, economy, and overall social issues that we face today and have some basic tools to tackle them and assess them objectively and being completely in awe of the knowledge I’m so grateful to having be able to acquaintance myself with and knowing I should do my part to better society I still can’t get rid of a feeling I just don’t belong. I feel more spiritual everyday and leaning towards a very frugal non pretentious lifestyle. We live so little (100 years is but a sigh in time) i feel it stupid to chase money, status, women, vanity, etc. I’ll probably end up fasting myself to death starting on the day my mother dies. I don’t think she has the power to overcome her only sons loss.

i was at a mutual friends party and i got drunk
my ex-gf texted me "i hope you're happy now, i don't need this kindergarden stuff, see you"
i asked a couple people if i was talking shit about her or did anything wrong while being drunk, none say i was.

what the hell

>stop initiating conversations
>only human interraction the following month is mom asking if Im fine
T-thanks mom Im good

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>be me
>gf of 5 years recently dumpstered me because she's "not feeling it" anymore
>be alright
>see grandfather today for father's Day
>"where's you girl" in his thick Greek accent

my grandfather was always so happy to see us. those three fucking words guys, they hit me more than her leaving..fuck

>be outside on my bike
>love being alive
>be at gym lifting heavy weights
>enjoy it
>get home to my apartment
>be depressed

My day can go well and I can have a lot of fun but back at my apartment I just feel a bit down. Dont really know where it comes from since I got a decent place, I just think moving away from my parents who live in a small town with a big house and garden to a small city apartment is a bit of a culture shock. I miss our pets being around and having a garden or being able to go into the woods with our dog. It isnt bad here by no means and if you want to go partying and stuff it is nice to be in a city... but damn sometimes it just feels depressing.

Moved to a new city after finishing college four years ago and I came to realization I haven't made a single friend during that time. I literally have 0 friends.

Made some decent progress liftan but stagnated after I herniated a disc in my neck at the beginning of the year. DO NOT do behind the head lat pulldowns or you'll end up like me, boys.

Had ACDF surgery last week and I'm still recovering but it's going well overall. Can't drive for another two weeks so I've been stuck at home doing fuck all bored out of my mind.

I regularly have girls approach me wherever I go but since I'm an insecure sperg I always manage to fuck it up somehow.

Trying to transfer to a different area within my company but I keep getting rejection emails almost every time I apply. Have an interview with a position this week but I don't know if it's a good fit for me.

Fitness wise I'm exactly in your position, hopefully this cut is the one where I reach sub 15% bf, it sucks cause I can feel.I have a very good base under this fat.

good for you user. I hope you find a long and fulfilling friendship/relationship in this.

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welcome to the city life user. living in our own cubicle boxes with no human contact. it's innately depressive, don't be surprised.

i don't have feelings. Feelings are overrated.

im starting to fall for a qt in the gym. We are almost always at the gym the same time working out together.
I feel like ive always been lost and never found a girl who were genuinely interesting, but the fact that she is just as autistic about weights as i am just flipped a switch in me.
I dont know how to make a move because i would basically get shunned from the gym if i fail.
Im thinking of just continuing working out a lot and be around her because i can feel it has a positive effect on my mood.

Am i poisoning myself and should i stop?

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>Am i poisoning myself and should i stop?
yes and yes. Repress these thoughts and feelings before its too late, my friend.

just tell her you're going to grab a snack after the gym and ask if she wants to come along. easy, light hearted and no strings attached.

if she says no say no worries, and forget her. if she says yes then make sure you out on some deodorant you smelly faggot and pick a cafe nearby to go spill your spaghetti at.

Im slowly going crazy and there is really not much I can do about it except limiting my drug and alcohol use. I guess a short prison time really broke me. I keep noticing more and more irrational thoughts and actions, to the point of sometimes wondering if Im still alive and what Im experiencing is not just a coma dream. Its a weird feeling when you want to ask a person talking to you if he/she is a doctor or your relative talking to you, while in reality you lie in a hospital bed.

Good thing Im a psychology major (in the making) so at least I can try to spot those irregularities and control them, but Im not sure how long I will last. I collapse under stress and there is a lot of stress going to happen in the next few months. Im not sure if Im going to make it, guys.
Workout and work more for me in case I have made another mistake and shit will hit the fan soon.

I have the perfect girlfriend, but I don't love her. Thought about breaking up with her because I know it will end maybe in a few years, but then I'll be late twenties and it's all over for me.

what the fuck do you even do nowadays? it seems like either you have to use tinder where there is a mutual interest in meeting someone or you just have to walk aimlessly around until some girl decides to like you. Im so fucking sick and tired of how the world is

Broke up with my beautifull and smart gf because of distance and my pure ocd telling me i dont love her anymore after 1 and half year...its been 3 months and we talk here and there by phone or messages.
Yesterday we said we couldnt do it like that anymore and its officially over.
i feel dead inside, yesterday i got smashed thinking about her.
Fuck my shitty brain and the fucking distance, i cant do it anymore. She was there everytime for me and i was a fucking degenerate at the end

I fucking injured my wrist doing bench press. AGAIN. Every time I push past a plateau, somehow I'll injure myself causing me to reload or sideline bench for a week, plateau again, pish past it, injure myself, repeat. Fucking annoying. I feel like I should switch to db bp entirely and ditch barbell.

I've been getting minor mires lately though, so that's cool.

Since I hit the Gym people start initiating convos with me. I hope this isn't a coincidence. Pls. Depression almost cured, I stopped playing vidya and hope to get better grades to get a good paying job. But I have this feeling that I can never have a one night stand let alone a relationship with a normal girl because I would get bored after 2 hours being around her and just suffer laying in bed next to her. Why am I like this?

Some days like today I feel so normal. Yes, I didn't succeed in life, but you know what, you don't have to be a 6-pack ripped financially successfull guy to enjoy life and have friends and lovers and be someone interesting.

I think I've been chasing my own tail for so long. I felt unhappy and I blamed myself for it and I tried to change. I decided to postpone living until I "fixed" myself, and changed it into what others consider acceptable or likeable. I don't really have to.

Of course maybe tomorrow the debilitating anxiety and feelings of inadequacy will return, or maybe they won't. Maybe I should start taking anxiolytics for a while so I can get back to normal, but I'm afraid I'll become a junkie.

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>Two years with ex, first love, good boyish woman with integrity, thought I'd marry her
>Broken up for almost 8mos
>Miss her a lot, only other girl I met who liked me was a pure Christian El goblino who thought I was too different to date.
>Suffer the summer, but been feeling pretty alright with it, still have a few bad days
>See her in a bar earlier this week with her new dude who's way older
>Saw myself expecting a call from her again, finally block her number to give a peace of mind.
>Feels like I went back months

My general idea here is even though I'm sad as fuark, I know that if she comes back (yeah right), it wouldn't work because I'm still broken up over it. Also, she'd have to be very different, whole relationship would need to be changed. She couldn't communicate her issues until she was breaking up with me, basically left me right after a gyno surgery and right after the most depressing and stressful semester of my life (spoiler, the next was more depressing).

Not to mention, I feel my self respect kicking in, and after some guy desecrating what was my one and only by her volition, I am disgusted if I really think about it.

So I'm fuckin stuck with these feelings of longing for someone by all accounts I should forget about. First loves are terrible.