Mmm…mmm…

>Ooh, yet to give in, eh?
>The Desk Keeper must be twitching with delight
>But what do you really know about the Lords of Benchpress, these supposed legends?
>Let's take Aldrich, for one
>A right and proper natty, only, he developed a habit of snorting creatine
>He consumed so much that he bloatmaxxed like a drowned pig, then softened into sludge
>And they made him a Lord of Benchpress
>Not for virtue, but for might
>Such is a lord I suppose, but I ask, do we have a sodding chance?

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When one dies, the other cracks and throws away his natty card

> Why yes I'm an all dex build, how did you know?

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>says the dyel

>Dear, oh dear. What was it?
>The PPL?
> The bro-split ?
> Or the legday skip?
> Oh, it doesn't matter... It always comes down to the natty GOMAD to clean up after these sort of messes.
> Tonight, Gehrman hits 6pl8

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kek

>posting the wrong pic

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>Welcome to the gym, Unkindled One. I am a Reception Keeper. I tend to the gains, and tend to thee. The Lords have left their squat racks, and must be deliver'd to them. To this end, I am at thy side.
>Fit one, to be Unkindled is to be a vessel for gains. Sovereignless gains will become thy strength. I will show thee how. Ashen one, bring me gains, plucked from their vessels...
>Very well. Then touch the darkness within the press. Take nourishment from these sovereignless reps.

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Thou must returneth from wence thou came.
This gym is natty, it's inhabitants tall, but thou dost not belong.
I beg of thee, lunge down from the bench and hurry home.

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>when you coom so hard during the prisilla fight that she can't turn invisible since you can see your coom floating around the battle field
oh yeah those feet MAAKE MEE COOOOOM AAAUUUGHHHHH TIME FOR DRAGON MISCEGENATION

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>Fit one
kek

> tonight Gehrman hits 6pl8

even funnier after hes so clearly snapped his shit up, with being in a wheelchair.

Grant us gains, grant us gains

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How do I get solaire mode? Even with his gains hidden under full armor he still looks buff as fuck

Pic related, the size of this lad

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Gymcel
Seek
Seek
Gains

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Ahh, you're no fraud are you? No, no, you're far far away. And judging by the delts... You must be some of that natty kind. Remarkable, if that's true. Below the Gnc store is a musty little gym. Not the home of any cunt, in their lies a sick cunt.

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Do you know much about squatting?
Even I'm not certain, but…
I'm told that the squat is the essence of gains itself.
Anyone lifting, natty or no, supposedly does them.
What we call gains is traceable to the squat.
Do you see what that means?
To squat…to lift these weights… Those are the real gains right there.

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I am Swolaire of Astora, adherent to the Lord of Sunlight.

I became Natty to pursue this quest.

based ds2 poster

this is amazing desu kekd

ABSOLUTELY BLESSED THREAD

kys

And pegleg

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
MAJESTICCCCCCCC

Andre is so fucking comfy

I usually hate those nerd culture DYEL? shirts, but I would probably wear a Raise the Sun shirt with Solaire PraiseOHPing

>feel free to make use of the gym weights
>even the gym receptionist, if you wish...

I missed my post-workout Estus, is the window a myth?

>gym roider finally unequipped his fap ring and lost all his gains

STAMINA
HEALTH
ENDURANCE
EVERYTHING YOU COULD EVER NEED

Fuck I love the dark souls atmosphere and depression.

>have all 3 dark souls in my steam library
>havent played any of them

is it time?

right? everyones fucking dead or so lonely and in despair. everything wants to kill you and those huge areas and shit. my nigger I'm gonna repeat ds3

A bulk is a bulk, even late at night.
But, alas, not too much!
The casein swirls and churns unending!

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what? why wouldn't you play them if you already have them?

Weary bodybuilder - you've no bar left to squat! No curl left to lift!

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>how did that set look, ilberd
>SLOPPPYYY

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Nice

>Have you heard of cumbrains? These poor souls affected by thots.
>A cumbrain gradually loses his humanity, until his wits degrade completely.
>Finally, he turns hollow, and preys upon others.
>And a cumbrain can never be human again.
>I'm sorry…to burden you with talk of my fate.
>I suppose I've grown weary these days.

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Go play them, get your shit pushed in, git gud, and get some videoGAINZ NIGGA

Praise sun and fat roll

Dark souls 1 is comfy as hell start playing it lad

“Master Rippetoe, I've come to bid you farewell.”

“Oh, I know, Scooby. You think now, to betray me.”

“No, but you will never listen. I tell you, I will not forget our adage.”

“...We are born of the oats, made men by the oats, undone by the oats. Our squats are yet to max..."

"Fear the Winstrol."

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ILL TEAR YOU TO SHREDS YOU BLOODY HOLLOW

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kek

same
game motivates the shit out of me
when you're at rock bottom, you have nowhere else to go but up

the atmosphere makes me wanna triumph over the depressive urges
fucking love the series for this reason, but after a couple playthroughs, the games start to feel repetitive for me

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didn't this guy fuck a tranny

nah that was ur mum lmao

legitimately what's wrong with ohping in the squat rack? Where else am I meant to do it like

I keked

>
Looks like a well fed homeless alcoholic.

>Stop right there frauder scum! Pay the Natty Court a fine or serve your sentence! Your stolen gains are now forfeit!

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ah fuck

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So is this Game of Thrones

>Ahh, hello. Was it you who rang the Bell of Lifting? I am the primordial serpent, Kingseeker Frampt, close friend of the Great Natty Gwyn. Chosen Unfit, who has rung the Bell of Lifting. I wish to elucidate your fate. Do you seek such gains?

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Havel's gear is why I permabulk

>hee hee hee

Nothing wrong with it

>there's a saying in my gym... thou who art natty, art chosen...
>in thine exodus from the dyel asylum, maketh pilgrimage to the land of Ancient Lifts... When thou ringeth the Bell of 1/2/3/4, the fate of the natty thou shalt know...
>well, now you know... And I can take a rest day with hope in my heart...
>Oh, one more thing... Here, take this... A protein shake a, natty favourite, and this creatine supplement

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Based

>homo, or some say no homo

Ornstein is a sick kunt and gets all the adoration of being a Knight, Smough is just some beta bloatlord executioner

Best waifu.

Lel

cool, but for me I just enjoy hanging around in that fucked up world. Waiting to end, history already finished, timeless, everything in ruins, all the glory in the past.
All that's left are hopeless people not even waiting to die, but already dead, and waiting to lose themselves in death, and others are already lost and out for your blood. It's not like I enjoy wallowing in misery irl but there's something liberating about hopelessness and I can enjoy that feel in this particular escapism. The great voice acting is probably the biggest thing for the atmosphere too.
Maybe it's empathy, how when you're depressed you listen to sad songs instead of happy songs. Anyway I fucking love it.

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no a tranny fucked him
[spoiler]really[/spoiler]

It was a great thread till you tried being funny.

Gehrman turned in his natty card on the the night of the first hunt

A NATTY IS A NATTY EVEN IN A GYM

iktf bro

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>Well, you’re big enough, aren’t you?
>Are you tormented by pussy? Burdened by feels?
>And now the question: Are you ready for more? If so, then we ought to lift.

>This? This contains my power level.
>Many years ago this....weak....vessel of mine set about acceptable methods of acquiring mass.
>The fool dreamt of making it natty and, in doing so, he created me. Mostly through angst, but, I must say he lifted some heavy ass weight.
>What he sought was superiority, and so I decided to demonstrate. While my vessel slept I’d find my plug and hit him up.
>But my vessel did not approve. And while I slept he flushed all of my shit.

>Now I have nothing against humanity but how is it one goes about defining natural and cheating?
>I’m simply doing everything I can to succeed. How can that be so wrong?

>So what say you to a cycle on my behalf?
>If you refuse, I’ll bully more newbies. Many more.
>I couldn’t give a fuck about some skinny dyel anyway, so, what’s your choice?

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>Once the lord of lifts banished imbalances, and all that stemmed from machines, and DYELS assumed a fleeting form
>These are the roots of our gains
>Gymcels are props on the stage of weights
>And no matter how Yoked,
>How Joocy...
>A FRAUD IS STILL A FRAUD
>Young Lifter, knowing this...
>Do you still desire Test?

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>demon's souls is my favorite game of all time
>bought every other Soulsborne game since
>only finished Sekiro because my housemate helped with the slog

I just don't have the attention for 80 hour games anymore, boys. Feels bad.

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Thank you for spotting me, yes, sincerely.
I am Knight Lautrec of Protein.
I truly appreciate this, and I guarantee gains, only later.

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which ds should a total beginner start out with?

The first one

Go in order

Dark Souls holds up great, and with the expansions it'll last you as long as you want.

Don't play DS2, it's kind of a mess.

Do you trade in your natty card when you wear Havel's ring?

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Lol

I tried getting into 2 after ds1.It felt like a shitty xbox port. I couldn't get past the mess the controls were.

>he doesn't use the grasscrest shield to take less time between sets

>skipping DS2
never gonna make it

How do I get into /owlmode/

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Ds2 fucking sucks compared to the other two. It was trying to improve ds1 but they messed up a lot of things that they eventually fixed in ds3. For one, the general "floatiness" of your character does not feel right to the game in general. They really improved on the mechanics in ds3 and learned from their mistakes.

be the son of a God

hmm you seemed to have mistyped 2 instead of 3

Currently the best thread on Jow Forums

I preferred ds2 fighting mechanics to ds3. Only being able to use what very little poise you have while you are actively swinging your weapon makes getting stunlocked very old very fast, and no passive poise just seems idiotic. Someone who is covered in heavy plate mail armor shouldn't have an aneurysm every time a 0.5lb dagger hugs their little toe. The combat just seems to be spamming rolling and r1s until someone gets a hit off then combos them into oblivion. In ds2 poise wasn't quite as OP as in ds1, but it worked and you could viably take a hitbefore your character spazzed out, which makes combat actually feel decent and not like a constant hit-and-run. Other than that, not being able to upgrade your armor seems strange. I know there are more armor types, but being able to specialize in the armor you want seems like a questionable decision to me. Other than that, I will agree that ds3 has better boss and level design overall, although nothing has yet topped sir alonne, sinh, and fume knight for me yet. Overall, I like ds2 combat more, and if the game weren't as dead as a doornail, I would do most of my pvp there.

Fucking kek