Now and then I still have trouble accepting the fact my girlfriend, which is my first, has fucked several guys before even though she's only 18. Lost her virginity at around 12. For me, monogamy is normal. The idea that you find the one, and marry her. It's such a weird thought that someone else has treated my girl as her own and plowed her.
I believe you should have one partner in your life. But everyone else is in on the idea that you just fuck and fuck and don't give a shit. I know you're gonna shit on me for this, because being like me isn't "normal" in 2019, but you gotta understand that what's normal is a very vague and malleable concept. It changes, and all that "normal" even means is the general consensus among people at any given time.
Sure, but when you're dealing with other people, what's "normal" ends up being kind of important. Your idea of monogamy was never really respected all that much. Even before the sexual revolution, there was rampant infidelity, secret swingers parties, and most of the forms of degeneracy we know today. You can either choose to live your fairy tale and hold out for a girl that would probably not want to date you, or you can adapt and get what happiness you can from partner who already loves and accepts you.
Cameron Carter
>lost virginity at 12 shes a whore user, back off
Owen King
Tell me about it. Women arent anything but whores and tricks.
Logan Stewart
I understand you OP.
I've accepted that I'll probably never find fulfilment from a relationship, the kind of relationship I'd find fulfilling just doesn't exist any more.
Adrian King
Think about it. Maybe the whore culture was accepted as the norm simply because of the logic you're trying to make me adopt. Like, everyone deep down agrees the monogamous fairy tale would be better, but we just accept the shittier reality because it's easier than fighting against it. Opinions have a way of spreading because of this phenomenon. Even if there was a bad opinion getting foothold somewhere, it will eventually spread and cover the entire human race because people don't want to spend energy fighting against ideas. This is why we have so many shit movements going on today. I've seen racist men turn into feminists because they can't take the pressure of having to fight all the time for a group that gets smaller and smaller.
Landon Garcia
Since when were you under the impression that this was unusual?
Logan Thomas
this is such a fucking virgin way to think about things OP. absolutely do not concern yourself with her experience before meeting you. Do you want her to fuck you or not? Save yourself the trouble and stop being so insecure.
Levi Hall
>Do you want her to fuck you or not?
>OOGA BOOGA OOGA BOOGA
Ryan Ross
It's what every other man does. If you don't want to hear your gf talk about having sex with other guys then don't ask her. But pretty much anyone you date won't be a virgin. This is the society in which we live.
Dylan Thomas
>Think about it. Maybe the whore culture was accepted as the norm simply because of the logic you're trying to make me adopt.
I wasn't trying to change your ideal, I was trying to explain why that ideal is an ideal - because reality cannot live up to it.
>Like, everyone deep down agrees the monogamous fairy tale would be better, but we just accept the shittier reality because it's easier than fighting against it.
This seems kind of narcissistic, honestly. Why assume that everyone secretly agrees with you? Are all those swingers and kinksters and polyamorous weirdos just faking?
>Opinions have a way of spreading because of this phenomenon. Even if there was a bad opinion getting foothold somewhere, it will eventually spread and cover the entire human race because people don't want to spend energy fighting against ideas.
Since most existing hunter-gatherer societies are promiscuous, it's actually more likely that this was how monogamy spread in the first place.
>This is why we have so many shit movements going on today. I've seen racist men turn into feminists because they can't take the pressure of having to fight all the time for a group that gets smaller and smaller.
Fair enough. I've also seen hikkis that HItler would have without question sent to the camps embrace national socialism because they wanted to feel like they were part of a club, any club. Social isolation and status anxiety will drive even the strongest man to embrace nonsense.
Joshua Martin
Well, you can still look for someone else if you're not happy with your relationship. It's way harder to find virgins or people who haven't slept with a lot of guys before, but it's certainly better for you emotionally to put that much effort into looking for that something you really want, rather than settling down for something that doesn't make you happy. Don't take it too personal though, you can still love your current girlfriend and learn to not care about her past, but if this is something that you won't ever get over with, I suggest you look for someone else that's a virgin or that has had little to no experience like you. Also, it's more fair to your girlfriend as well. It's not impossible, it's just way harder to find. Ultimately, what I'm trying to say is that if you're settling down with someone that doesn't make you happy because you think your expectations are unrealistic, then stop. What you look for is not unrealistic, nor unreasonable. It is a pain in the ass for sure to find someone like that, but that's a different story. Eventually, when you do find someone like that, you'll be happier than ever.
Camden Lopez
>twelve is when she started having sex You're gonna lose that girl so it doesn't matter.
Isaac Butler
So you combat the ape culture by joining it.
Xavier Turner
By the way, why is it that a virgin female is "impossible" to find but virgin males are out there by the millions for the taking?
Connor Howard
>Lost her virginity at around 12 Oh lawd. You know I guess I can kind of accept that most women are going to lose their virginity pretty early these days but 12? Fucking 12? That's a big yikes and oof from me dawg.
Bentley Anderson
It actually is entirely normal.
The other people are just outspoken and trying to encourage others to fuck around to normalise the fact they've had multiple partners and don't know how to feel about that.
Hunter Gray
I'm with you OP, my girlfriend may not have had more than 1 but she lost it to someone else while I was in the hospital and it broke my heart, but I love her nonetheless and I couldn't just leave the only person I'll find. Even as I type this, my caffeine fueled body is feeling weak and depressed by just thinking of it. I just want to go back and change it. She promised me she was saving herself for me but why would she do that? Maybe she doesn't care for me but is scared herself. Either way, this relationship seems toxic for both of us but I'm so scared of dying alone.
