How the actual fuck do you hold a conversation with anyone and develop freindships when you have literally noting to talk about because you were sheltered/isolated virtually your entire upbrining so you missed out on all the social experiences (having out at recess, playing games, field trips, sleepovers, dating, parties, clubbing, and so on) that almost everyone else had? The reason, I realized, the average normie is so adept at conversation is because they have a wealth of subjects to talk about, which most other normie can relate to on because most normies lead very similiar upbringings. They talk about their life experiences, which are similiar, this leads to them connecting and forming friendships. And these friendships lead to even FURTHER things to talk about as learn more about eachother and build more and more experiences with oneanother to talk. It's a cycle that just feeds into itself.
But when you never had, or had very little, of those social / romantic experiences with others growing up, you don't have jackshit to talk about. Conversations about your hobbies (assuming you have normie interests), politics (if you care about that), the news / the weather (if you give a shit about that either), etc. aren't enough I've learned. 90% of the normie's conversations revolve around their personal lives, their past social experiences and present, the drama going on in their lives, you get the picture. So what do you DO? If you're in your late 20's like me, the average adult normie expects you to have far, FAR more life experience (and a currently active social life) to draw from for conversational material.
So it leads to this problem. Can't make friends / get a partner because you can't hold conversation because I have nothing to talk about because I severely lack past life experiences. It only gets worse as time goes by and you become more and more behind other people. What the fuck do you even do if this is the case? Nobody wants to hang out with or date you because you can't hold a conversation unless it's about whatever niche subject matter you happen to have something to say about. You can't just go back in time and GET those social experiences ofc. I just don't see a solution to this. It's one thing if you just have social anxiety, but if your problem is a complete and utter lack of things to talk about because you've never had a fucking life? Because you don't even have your own social circle or even a family to draw conversation material from? Literally nothing to talk about whatsoever besides perhaps a handful of experiences you may have had, which happened so goddamn long ago that the memories of which have faded to the point of being barely rememberable if at all to talk about? What the fuck do you even do then?
Liam Wilson
Find people that don't care about life stories, ez. There're plenty of nerds with a life that'll be happy to chat about hobbies all the time. Don't know why you're wasting time trying to chat up people whose interests revolve around social life, they are boring as fuck to talk to.
Also, get a life. Go to art exhibitions, theatre plays, etc. Then talk about them. Ask people who they spent their weekend. If they ask you why are you always alone, tell them you just like it that way, you've always been kind of a loner. Ask them if they'd like to go with you, that way you can get a memory together.
Josiah Myers
a) Practice talking to people. If you haven't had conversational training when it was easy you have to train when it's hard. No way around it. Sorry. Being cheerful and friendly/polite helps a lot. Protip: People like it if you do them small(!) favours and appreciate small favours they might do you in return. Those favours are investments but most of them will not lead to anything. Don't be frustrated when an investment doesn't deliver huge returns. Most of them won't, that's normal. Some are conversation starters. b) Be honest about having a boring life up until now. Don't be ashamed of it - you are trying to get out there. Don't get frustrated if people find you weird. What you describe IS weird - so what!? c) Go and do stuff you can talk about. Not gathering relevant experience won't fix your lack of relevant experience. d) Not everyone is competible with you. Find out what kind of people you get along with. You haven't learned who you might like before. Now you will have to learn so picking people to get to know gets easier.
I hope this helps in any way.
Jeremiah Campbell
>Don't know why you're wasting time trying to chat up people whose interests revolve around social life, they are boring as fuck to talk to.
Because that's literally 99% of the popluation. Their lives are their lives. It's not enough to have some hobby or be knowledgable on things or do interesting things. You need a life, you need to have always had a life, and you need to be friends and family to people have have their own lives.
If there are people not like that they're few and far between and I almost never meet such an individual. All I meet are people who talk endlessly about their sport's team of choice, Game of Thrones, capeshit, what they did last night (which generally was they went out drinking, drugs, partying, hooking up, etc.) their personal life drama or drama in their friends's and families' lives, or their past life experiences.
Maybe, MAYBE they'll talk about something they saw on the news, or Trump, or really trivial shit like what their favorite flavor of ice cream is (this happened at my job once, they spent 10+ minutes debating whether vanilla is superior to chocolate). This is the average normie. And I honestly can't even say I'm above these kind of subjects. If I could possibly relate to them, if I had had a goddamn life ever I would have something to add. But I almost never do. So in their eyes, I'm boring. And so this cycle continues.
I do. I've honed my conversational abilities by now. The problem is I still have nothing to say, so I'm falling back into my old ways of just avoiding people and letting the skills I worked so hard to attain rot away.
>Protip: People like it if you do them small(!) favours and appreciate small favours they might do you in return. Those favours are investments but most of them will not lead to anything. Don't be frustrated when an investment doesn't deliver huge returns. Most of them won't, that's normal. Some are conversation starters.
Maybe it's the people I interact with, but I find this typically just ends with me becoming a tool to them. They ask me favors because they know I'll help em out (as long as it's not anything ridiculous), and still show disinterest in interacting with me outside of asking for favors, and still won't invite me out anywhere. And they never do anything for me in return, no matter how much I do for them. They aren't appreciative of what I do (even if they say thank you, their actions and continued attitude towards me show they don't respect or appreciate me). So I get angry and stop doing favors for them and ignore them (currently happening with a handful of individuals at my job).
>b)
The people I interact with aren't tolerant of anything that deviates from the norm. My job, where virtually all the people I interact with are, is full with tons of people. But they're almost all the same. They act the same, they speak the same memes and slangs, they like the same things. It's like the company hires a specific type and somehow I must've fooled them unintentionally into thinking I'm that type. And anyone, I noticed, who is noticeable different doesn't last long. They are EXTREMELY unforgiving of ANY social errors, and seem like people who have never had to interact with someone different from them in any way, or who had trouble socializing. Your idea won't work. They won't be sympathetic.
Henry Bennett
>c)
I can't gather that experience because it's social experience I need. I don't have anyone to build social experiences with (that I can use to make and carry conversation with) because nobody wants to hang out with a grown man who has the life experience of a 10 year old boy. Who has nothing to talk about. Who's boring. I would need someone willing to give me their time and tolerate my quietness until I could develop more socially and build experiences to talk about. But nobody will. Why would they? Why hang out with me when they can hang out with someone who's socially fluent, popular, experienced, and has tons of things to talk about, tons of stories to tell of their past social experiences?>d) Not everyone is competible with you. Find out what kind of people you get along with. You haven't learned who you might like before. Now you will have to learn so picking people to get to know gets easier.
>d)
I know that. But it seems nobody is compatible with me at this point.
David Jackson
No idea what shitty places you pick people from, I never had an issue finding people who'd like to discuss hobby shit, even in such a cesspool like college Maybe it's because I'm a zoomer, or maybe it's because I don't live in Murrica. Sounds like you're surrounded by tards.
Tyler Diaz
>We have nothing to talk about >Every post is a paragraph long
Just make shit up. If you lie enough times to yourself, you'll believe it. Warch slice of life anime for ideas.
Wyatt Lee
>). So I get angry and stop doing favors for them and ignore them passive aggressiveness. not good
Oliver Cruz
I mean yeah when I go off about depressing shit about my existence. But nobody wants to hear that stuff IRL because it brings them down. >Just make shit up. If you lie enough times to yourself, you'll believe it. Warch slice of life anime for ideas.
I mean I've thought about that but it's pretty fucking hard to keep the stories straight long term.
>passive aggressiveness. >not good
So what's the alternative? When you show goodwill to others, but they only end up using you and show you nothing in return?
>How the actual fuck do you hold a conversation with anyone and develop freindships when you have literally noting to talk about you dont
Elijah Murphy
it is because youre a zoomer you fucking retard. no zoomer has gone through excruciating isolation, thus no zoomer can have that deep seated feeling of strangement that prevents older gens from talking even when theyre supposedly adept at their hobbies.
having a hard time talking is something alien for a zoomer
Josiah Diaz
>no zoomer has gone through excruciating isolation Why is this, because zoomers haven't lived for long, or because they have had the internet throughout all of their lives?
Adrian Davis
>So what's the alternative? When you show goodwill to others, but they only end up using you and show you nothing in return?
I am also learning. I don't know yet. But its possible that this pattern of behavior says other things about yourself. Only you can tell.
Eli Garcia
you can talk about Game of Thrones
Nicholas Howard
Yeah you can share the same hobby but still not be able to talk about it. Like say you watch anime, but you don't watch the SAME anime. Or you're both gamers, but one of you is into playing WoW, while the other is a fan of Fortnite.
You get the idea. At least being into something mainstream like drugs, drinking, partying, or sports is pretty generalized and very easily to relate to on.
Nicholas Phillips
It's because they have had the internet throughout all of their lives, no matter how retardedly autistic they are they will always find someone similar easily. Older gens didn't have that luxury.
Grayson Parker
ex-robot, current normie here. This is a difficult part of breaking out of the robot life. Building social antennas. Honestly, you don't need the experiences... it'll make it easier for sure, but it's not like you've teleported in time. Even an isolated life is a story, and it can definitely be an interesting one. Here's what I've learned:
- It's not about what you talk about, it's about how you talk about it. Smalltalk can be about ANYTHING, literally. Imagine yourself thinking loudly, and then making it into a question instead of a statement. "I bought some plants yesterday, I wonder how much water they'll need. Do you know?" "I'm not sure about what to do for vacation this year, what are you doing?". "Fucking birds, I have these seagulls making so much damn noise in the morning, wanna earn some extra money working as a scarecrow?". You do small talk to pick up on the other persons interest. What makes them tick, what kind of personality they have etc. If you like the person, this smalltalk can lead you to good conversations using this recipe:
>Pick up on what they talk about, ask follow up questions, normies love talking about themselves as long as you make it easy for them >When they're talking about something, add a comment on how you relate, or don't relate at all. "Yeah I didn't do sports as a kid, I was a depressed little fucker". That'll give the other person a chance to ask questions back. >Don't convince or disagree, this is conversation, not a debate. You understand their perspective, give your perspective, and move on. >You should, as a rule of thumb start out by by asking questions and listening until the other person does the same. Until you've had interesting experiences or something fun to talk about, make the conversation about them,
You'll pick these techniques up if you start listening to others carefully.
Remember: You're trying to learn social norms that normies learned through their entire social lifetime. It'll be difficult.
Nathan Russell
unironically as a short term solution: drugs smoke weed and take mdma if you haven't i've been there breh. don't focus on people. focus on getting a life that's interesting to you, then itll be way easier to connect with people that fuck with you. don't try to relate to people you don't relate to. acknowledge what you are: a god damn robot. but that's not a death sentence. at least you're not a GOD DAMN NORMIE
NORRMIEEESSSS GET OFF MY BOARD
seriously though, this >the average adult normie expects you to have far, FAR more life experience (and a currently active social life) to draw from for conversational material. is approaching it the wrong way. do what i said above. don't do gay stuff that you have no actual interest in. don't do things to get other things; do the things for the value of themselves nothing to talk about suggests a lack of CURRENT experiences, not past. but i feel you bro, this is a problem. it's good that you're not denying it, yeah? anyway i'm right there with you on this gay ass board
also, try to be nice to people. if you're scared to be nice, that is. don't go overboard though. being a normie is so fucking gay dude. follow your fucking dreams
Ayden Young
There's way more to talk about than parties and clubbing, dude. I was a hikki and drop-out for my entire youth and I am still a really good conversationalist. I talk about ideas, share facts that interest me, if i know someone well then i talk about how shitty it was being a hikki.
Caleb Wright
You let them bully you then you join them and bully yourself
Austin Lee
>he reason, I realized, the average normie is so adept at conversation is because they have a wealth of subjects to talk about, which most other normie can relate to on because most normies lead very similiar upbringings. They talk about their life experiences, which are similiar, this leads to them connecting and forming friendships. And these friendships lead to even FURTHER things to talk about as learn more about eachother and build more and more experiences with oneanother to talk. It's a cycle that just feeds into itself.
I noticed this too. I can only talk about video games and anime so the only ones I converse with at my uni are the nerdy types.
