Jow Forums feels pub thread

so whats going on with life?

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Feeling lonely and shitty as always, give me a double vodka.

here man, what happened?

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Whatever's on tap, please.
Putting off doing more digital art. Just starting and it's hard.

Have any sake user?

so drawing,that sounds interesting, im artistically inept but can appreciate some good art, hows everyhting?

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sure, interesting drink, whats up?

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Same old, same old. Usual rpg user stuff.
I'm going to see Tolkien with a new friend tomorrow. I'm excited and hope there's Silmarillion stuff mentioned.

Grades arent the best, parents think Im a disappointment. Need something to take my mind of it

based on the drink choice and the parents i suppose you are asian, why do you think your grades are lower

oh, welcome back, how's it going with the whole hoarder situation?

give me your most expensive drink

>sad
>been listening to this for hours youtube.com/watch?v=jbgWXRxlSuQ&
>turned 30 last month
>little by little i've realized my life has been gone down the drain
>my bf of 10 years broke with me 3 years ago and I am still crying about it
>found out that he has a new new girlfriend who is a semi popular twitch streamer
>I wished I was dead
>and now I am just crying as I listen to the same song
>Ive been gaining weight ever since I broke up with him (3 years ago)
>use to be a size 6 now I am a size 18
life fucking sucks

Made all As up until Junior year of high school, senior year was okay, but I straight bombed some of my finals and college is looking like a long shot

uhhh how about this Remy Martin Black Pearl Louis XIII.
why was he so special for you?

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ah that sucks, i really cant give career and advice on being succesful in life, i can say: avoid being a neet, its starting to become soul crushing (might also be due to my complete isolation)

No progress yet. My dad's busy so I don't want to pester him too much about it.
I've started to get rid of all of my things I don't actively need with the exception of old sketchbooks. I don't want to be like my mom.

sure this will do thank you!

well we met in a very critical time in my life he changed me in many ways he helped me focus on my life and idk we were basically a team i helped him he helped me we both were there for eachother, I thought he was gonna be the one I thought we were gonna get married 10 years is a big part of a persons life, but you know life happens, he met this girl and they started talking a lot and then out of the blue he tells me we are no longer compatible a few days after my birthday he breaks up with me and two weeks later I find out he and this girl start seeing eachother and then a few years later I find out they are actually dating. He was my life partner and I really let myself go, I've been suicidal ever since back in 2016 a few months after we broke up my parents sent me to this health clinic because I kept trying to kill myself.

youtube.com/watch?v=Dx5qFachd3A
everyday everything seems to get a little bit worse. i lose hope i never even realized i had. im transfixed on the past, i endlessly replay events from years ago in my head wishing they turned out differently. wondering where id be if i hadn't messed them up. everyday i miss her. who knows when was the last time she thought of me. a year? two? i want to fix my life but every time i try nothing seems to change. i lose my nerve. and i end up back here. where would i BE if she still loved me. if anybody still loved me?

Was thinking about applying to become a neet, is it really that bad?

thats good, i know you can do it man, i've tought about you and i realized, why dont you show your work as a kind of resume to game comapanies, its a good way to find an income source not tied to your friend and that bitch

i am a neet not due to wanting it but i have extreme anxiety and various mental illness (i leave the house once a month to do shopping) so i also get money from the government. i guess its not bad if you can maintain a social life

this is not good, i understand this might come off as rough and mean but if he forgot you that quickly for a random bitch he wasnt the one

Thank you for your thoughts. It's nice to know anybody cares.
You mean tabletop companies?

she's past man, trust me you can find somebody else who will make you so happy she'll be what she is, just past, do you feel like you mess up everyhting?

game as both tabletop and vidya companies, they often hire the same people for writing in rpg's

Its good to find a way to live with those things user. Some never come to terms with themselves about their mental illnesses.

everything that matters, user.

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yeah i kinda gave up on it, i know ill likely never be normal, im not fit for friendships or relationships.
better than keeping to try and feeling crushed by failure.
i dont think ill last long though

Jow Forums used to be a place I could come and feel ok, but now it just makes me feel lonely. there are so many normies and women, threads about sex constantly, i can't take it anymore.

I've thought about it. I was sort of counting on this rulebook I've been working on to be a keystone of my resume. Now I don't really have anything.
I'm too stupid with computers to do stuff for vidya.

do you feel like giving me an example?

you'd be hired as a writer, you dont really need much knowledge, youll just write the dialogue

ok anons, op is going to sleep, see ya tomorrow, ill start the thread earlier

Loneliness takes a toll on the soul user, just know that there are always people who care about you

to be honest, you are likely the only people who'd think about if i was to die

the porn ads perfectly summarize what the incels did to us. this fixation on intercourse. on women that have no ambition, no purpose.
im too timid. i hesitate and wait when i need to be decisive. somebody was counting on me. when she needed me i chickened out. she hurt herself. badly.

there is always more than you know user. Everyone notices when someone goes missing

im kind of alreaydy missing.
you can count on me to keep being here
do you think anxiety stops you

a song for departure youtube.com/watch?v=r-5_-svPiWU

you are def right for sure, yeah little by little I am trying to get by but I am not gonna lie I gave him the best years of my life. it sucks right now all I want is my life back and I want to be back to my formal weight. thanks for listening mr barkeep

I feel constantly tired, both physically and mentally. Usually these two incarnations of exhaustion are even in the toll they take, but lately it feels like the mental fatigue is setting in faster. By the time I'm lying down every day, I'm ready to pass out and the sheer amount of responsibilities sometimes overwhelms me and pervades my dreams.

An outlet to let out my frustrations to assuage what tires me out so much would be nice, but I don't know what that would be.

Haven't been on Jow Forums in so long. I'm happy there's a feel thread up.

Well, I guess I have no future left. Failed another semester and now I'm pretty much permanently banned from this college. Savings are pretty much depleted even if I wanted to go to another school. I've been working out consistently for months but... For what. I guess it helps me mentally but why bother, it's not stopping the decline. At best it's slowing it. Drug abuse last year gave me psychosis that shattered what little mental stability I had to begin with and left me to suffer with horrible, piercing paranoia that constantly leaves me feeling unsafe and watched, which in turn renders me unable to sleep. I've been working at my shitty wagecuck job for 3 yrs now and have not made a single friend. Scratch that, I haven't made a friend in probably 5 years. Lying to my parents about still going to uni. Getting kicked out soon so I have to find a new job or join the military. I'd like to go to the therapist but even one visit bars you from the military and it's not guaranteed that I'm going to be able to find a new job. And why should I even try to find a new job if I don't even enjoy life in the first place and know it will never get better. It's an uphill battle everyday that I continue to do for absolutely no reason, maybe some lofty idea that "it gets better." I've been in depressive rutts before but this one makes all the other ones feel like heaven in comparison. I don't even have anyone to talk to because I'm too afraid to get close to anyone or open up. I put up walls around me all the time. I feel like a horrible piece of garbage. One of the two only ppl I was close to was my nephew, possibly the only real friend I've ever had, and now we've grown so far apart that u can feel how much he detests me. The other one has become such a terrible human being that I feel like I'm living in a nightmare.

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talk to me on discord @weirdeaux#2600

please. or text me. +1(585)-465-9588

my life is worst than yours

Man you've had it really rough. Want to talk?

whatever red wine you've got 'tender, I have lost all drive and motivation. My creativity has been completely put down like a 14 year old dog behind a shed. All I do is read and browse obscure mongolian basket weaving forums all day for new music to listen to. I feel like i've exhausted myself with media but I keep brute forcing myself to keep listening to music all day , all the time. Some of my work caught on a little bit but my publisher wont call me back and its a sad state of affairs. I only leave the house for appointments and nightwalks, theres a nice strip along the river I can walk along and have some nice thought too. If any of you lads around here wanna post something worse listening to that would be nice. I'm stuck waiting 6 months for disability so its looking like another year of being a hikkikomori, but after that I should have enough funds to get a place for myself and fuck off from society, barring stocking up on food and the like. Its just a strange comfortable melancholy I suppose, I had to quit smoking though and i'm almost out of my xanax for the month but on the bright side i've got a nice stock of wine. It feels good just to talk outloud like this, whether the average lurker glosses over this or OP replies dosent even matter much I suppose. Misery loves company, so lets let loose and give each other some comfort
keep your head up lad, things will only get worse and new horrors will loom from the shade. But you can also find comfort and solace in the smaller things, take a strong hefty drink, eat something nice and warm and hop in the bath and soak for a good hour. A mans happiness and strength is tied to his gut, endure this struggle or die like a dog and leave nothing behind, its up to you user

heres some rare shit for ya lads: youtube.com/watch?v=vrb62-bYgQ0

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same user asskip work, buy a greyhound ticket and see the world kid, live in squalor, beg for money in the streets, drink mouthwash with natives in parking lots in the am mornings. You need some new perspective user, have a good drink tonight, get a little high if you can and just try to have some new experiences. And if by all accounts you've done everything conceivable by man then just pick a direction and walk for a while, get lost and find someplace new. I gotta imagine you've got people who care about you if you're so lost in responsibility but if its loose enough to get away from for a bit then get the hell out.
Get in a street fight with the biggest son of a bitch you can find, I recommend boozing up or dropping some pain killers beforehand. But you just need to experience life, the world out there is full of vague anxiety but thats all it is, anxiety. Find a the ugliest, fattest woman you can, seduce her, take her money or what have you if you so desire and just make new experiences.

i'll dedicate this to ya kid: youtube.com/watch?v=l3LFML_pxlY

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Didn't work

I think I'm ok user. Despite all the stuff I put in there, things are getting better slowly. I suppose it's mainly just the lack of human relations I have that makes me the worst. Feels like it's impossible to connect to anyone.

If you'd like to be friends maybe you could drop your tag? Otherwise thank you for caring.

I feel like this hit hard after I graduated from HS. I spent like 60 hours a week as a teen going to HS/doing housework/studying (boring and nonstimulating) to 20-30 hours at most wagecucking at a place that constantly blasts music and using the rest of my time to play Vidya/stimulate my senses. That overstimulation really fucks you up. I stopped listening to music constantly while working/at the gym/etc. Still haven't felt any change in happiness but 3 years of rotting my brain probably takes time to recover, at least I can focus a little better now.

Shit I always miss these threads when they first go up

Oh, so we did get a radio after all? Nice!
Grab some soundcloud music off of youarelisteningtolosangeles.com.