Darker side of High Functioning Autism

You're the one who doesn't understand empathy if you think that.

Whoa whoa. I understand what empathy is and why it exists, I just don't feel it. Like, I understand when a person is feeling negative emotions due to an unfortunate situation I am supposed to try to comfort them in an act of solidarity, but I just feel nothing and don't really understand what I'm supposed to do and say in that situation.

Socipaths have bigger problem with sympathy, no?

I'm not autistic but there is a bad side to other disorders.
I saw this video of a west virginia snake preacher and he held up a rattlesnake and said "I don't do this because it saves me. I do this because I am saved"
when I live like that my life just melts away.

Mr BTFO is dabbing in this thread

That is a completely wrong statement

high functioning autism is a nightmare. even my earliest childhood memories are of having extreme social difficulties, having to take speech therapy classes, getting in trouble in class often without understanding what I did wrong. These memories basically spelled out what life would be for me. As an adult I am still plagued by the same issues, I am just vaguely socially aware enough to realize my every action is somehow offensive, my every word is incorrect. Ive had to deal with intense alienation and social exclusion, people react very negatively to my presence. it has effected my ability to make or maintain friendships, it has effected my ability to get and maintain a job, and basically completely dominates every aspect of my life.

simple things that an adult should be able to take care of remain a massive challenge. for example going to buy a new phone was an absolute disaster because i had to talk to the woman who worked there, and my mannerisms made her so uncomfortable she began treating me poorly and with aggression. Another time was having to go to a college advisor to deal with a financial aid issue. I had no idea id done anything socially wrong and thought everything was fine but the lady became enraged and yelled at me, yes, yelled at me in anger and told me to get out of her office. i tried asking what was wrong but she would not even speak to me or look at me, her eyes were watery as fuck. It is difficult to find a place to live because it requires me to find roommates who can tolerate me being a sperg. Even simple things like buying food from a restaurant often explode on me in similar ways. I think high functioning autism may be acceptable in some circumstances, but it largely limits your ability to thrive in a world where social skills are arguably more important than anything else.

relevant study on this phenomenon:nature.com/articles/srep40700

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I find that if I wear a smile on my face and be as polite as possible people are willing to tolerate me for long enough to get what I want out of a short interaction. It completely falls apart during job interviews and I've never been able to maintain a friendship though.

Empathy is a skill that everyone can perform and is near impossible to escape being taught but most importantly it is affected by IQ. The higher your IQ the better your empathetic capabilities will be. The low IQ might desire to be empathetic but will be less sensitive and therefore less capable than the high IQ. As autism is generally associated with higher IQ I would argue that autistic people have higher empathetic capability than average, the case of low IQ autistics could even just be low IQ people in general being lumped in with autistics due to this bias against autism.

This assertion that autism is the least empathetic state is insane, do you think tribalism is the most empathetic?

non-autistic people are just over-social sensitive retards honestly, this is my final conclusion as someone with this kind of autism

normal people are overgrown babies

I relate to you a lot, user
I think what hurts the most is that it's not disabling enough for people to notice

Also not being autistic enough for neetbux kinda sucks

i feel this way sometimes, but ultimately i have to acknowledge that the common factor in all these incidents is me. clearly im just failing to understand how things really work. but i do feel similar resentment sometimes, i think people are so mean spirited and aggressive for seemingly no reason, i never understood why normies are so incredibly hostile quick to anger. i also hate how dishonest they are, i have been manipulated and stolen from multiple times because i failed to read the situation. its made me very jaded and at times hateful. i dont ever want to deal with people at all anymore, i dont want to leave my room. if i could make everyone else on earth disappear i would be so happy and so free.

i get it though, i suppose on a larger scale, the type of anger and over-emotional behavior normies display is necessary for society. humanity likely only lasted this long precisely because people like them existed.

This, we're the abnormal ones, normies aren't emotional retards, they're healthy and normal, we're the ones who were literally born wrong

I'm not autistic but I can only care about one person at a time and no one else matters to me I can ignore people for ever I'm pety as fuck I don't miss anyone except one person I genuinely hate most people and have no care for them I don't really have friends but alliances I like my siblings but often will get mad at them and end up in a really long arguments that get really loud and wake up other family members I do this with my friends too

I try the smile too, I think some people find me charming, especially old people

Well speaking of not knowing how things work and being stupid why do you interpret people being aggresive with you as empathy?

>why do you interpret people being aggresive with you as empathy?
when did I say that?

Autists have to be good actors, it's main skill that allow us to function in society. As we experience new
situations we can learn how to behave (often after failing a lot) or what to say. New situation and people could be hard, but after some time it is possible to know what others expect us to do or want to hear.
Just be kind, dont tell what you really think, and try to respond to the ones talking to you, even with some stupid question about topic they started. After knowing people its easy to tell what they want to hear. Normies love to talk, so just listening and "paying attention" is usually enought to make them feel ok. Some people may even like you and treat as a good partner, but if they would only know everything is merely an act.

>We're monsters but media shows us as kind but different people, that's not what we are.
Speak for yourself. Im an autist and can sympathize with people, and sometimes even worry about how others are feeling to an unhealthy degree, like feeling intense guilt for not replying to someones message. I think autism has made me hyper aware of my actions and thus has made me develop social anxiety, so I try to be comforting with everyone so they dont feel how I feel. I get overwhelmed easily and probably wont be able to handle life. Ill probably end up being neet or killing myself.

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>0th percentile compassion
>54th percentile politeness

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My teenage brother has the sperg. At his core, he is very sweet. He can say things that are mean, but once he realizes that he has put his foot in his mouth he will usually find a way to "make it up" to that person by doing something nice. It can feel kind of abusive, but I know he is doing his best and you can see that. He goes to therapy, he reads books and watches videos about socializing, and you can see him just trying really hard to bite his tongue through every social interaction. He generally just tries to stay quiet. GIRLS LOVE HIM because he's very stoic and "mysterious". I think that's how he likes it.

The dark side is that he has no issue with cutting people off and ghosting everyone, but I know he suffers from chronic loneliness. When he's pushed too far there's definitely a breaking point, and although it was deserved he has definitely nearly beaten others up with no remorse. Once the scales of justice has been weighed in favor of you being guilty for something, the wall goes up. Keep pushing it and you are dead to him. Physically touch him, get knocked out. The rules are very clearly expressed, the lines are drawn in the sand, and you're done.

I think you guys have very deep emotions that are inherently different and cannot be expressed, and because of that you have learned how to turn them off when it becomes too painful to cope with. Those feelings end up coming out in ways that seem to be self-destructive. I genuinely feel for you and know that without you guys our world would collapse. I know other humans are annoying and imperfect, but we are here to help eachother. Please never stop reaching out.

I would say being an sperg means being an opposite psychopath. A psychopath can read emotion but can't feel it. But as sperg you can feel emotion but can't read it. The results can be same if not treated properly. As well.... disturbing shit. You like weeb shit because anybody can read the characters emotions even speds like us. But sense we cant read emotion from normal people we get absorbed into that so called "world". I cannot read emotions, every single time I see monkey faces. And people who have the same interest live far away from me or dead.
My father always said be "happy " while I see him as a overgrown child with anger issues who's mother died of suicide. Trying overcompensate for his depression. In summary I can't read emotion because I'm blind to it visually.

Did Tomoko have autism?

Also have high diagnosed high functioning autism. Your post describes it pretty well. My life feelings completely meaningless because I am unable to connect with other people on a deeper level.

I do not not understand what is going on. At best I can fake it.

There is nothing but misery. Will end my life when I turn 30. I can't even imagine continuing to love in this hell until 70. It's a pure fucking nightmare.

This. It's complete fucking bullshit. You can clearly see I am having issues because of a fucking disorder. Friends? 1. S.O? Never. Jobs? 7+ Money? Barely. Self care? No.

THE FUCKING LIFE EXPECTANCY IS 30 FOR PEOPLE LIKE ME. FUCKING 30.

But no, let's pretend like there is no problem because we cannot see it. Jesus Christ fuck normies they are the most cruel insensitive self centered pieces of shit.

I wish I was never born. And you better know I am ending it prematurely. Fuck this game.

ive been told high functioning autism gets better as you get older, not sure if i believe that or not.
are you a girl? you sure write like one

I still miss people and all that. I don't express it like a weirdo though. Don't confuse normal emotion with the millennial style of emotion. All that crying at movies stuff and "awww" bullshit.

After all these years, pretty sure I have undiagnosed aspergers. Hasn't stopped me from a successful career and getting married, though. But boy do people think I'm weird

Maybe you're just vapid

Somewhat reasonable assumption, but no. Maybe you would like to think so.

just because they never miss people does not mean they are bad people.
they know that nothing is ever truly gone. they are more spiritually awake then normies.
the "darker side" of autism is how they are treated in a world of depraved normies.

I have really high empathy to the few i like
low to most
and none for a lot ie subhumans or any bad person
also if someone dies or something i just try to never think about it

Like if i was in say Joels Situation i'd do exactly what he did

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wrong reply meant for
as an add on

On a semi related note.
Do any anons have any suggested readings or other sources on believably showing emotions?
Acting classes never cover the basics and even though I can recognise emotions fine I dont think others are buying it when I try and mimic.

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I'm pretty sure I have autism, but have never been diagnosed. I think my parents have always tried to cling to the belief that nothing is wrong and everything is fine. But life is hell on earth for me.
>cannot maintain eye contact with anyone - I dont know why, but I always have to look away and avert my eyes
>horrible at conversation - can only talk about people's interests and events. I despise small talk
>have always felt like I have the "social chip" missing. I always see normalfags and others effortlessly navigate new social situations, but I always look and sound like an absolute retard. I never know where to stand, what to say, and how to act. At best, I learn a way to go through the motions and fake it everytime a similar situation comes up
>cannot express in words what I want to say, usually have to word things awkwardly
>have a hard time controlling my anger, and will sometimes have outbursts if I'm upset. It takes every ounce of willpower to not blurt out what I'm thinking.
Think I should look into this? Will a diagnosis help me? Is there treatment that can help? I'm sick of being treated like a freak

>Keep pushing it and you are dead to him
>trying really hard to bite his tongue through every social interaction
>suffers from chronic loneliness
>once he realizes that he has put his foot in his mouth he will usually find a way to "make it up" to that person by doing something nice

Wow this is me completely. Do you know what type of Autism your brother suffers from?

I don't know what these other spergs are talking about I suffer from severe sadness when I feel have done wrong, but at the same time, if I feel I haven't I feel nothing. It's comparable to extreme moral conviction. It might seem sociopathic, but I genuinely do feel deep deep sadness if I feel I have done wrong, that can sometimes be felt for days after. Even if it was something small like accidentally being brutally honest with my opinion about someones drawing for example.

As for loneliness, I do get extreme bursts of loneliness, where I get extremely saddened and depressed and desperately reach out for human contact by any means,. even if it means making a fool of myself or appearing strange. Generally speaking though I am not that lonely, I only feel it in sudden explosions.

One of the hardest things for me is the mood swings I experience though. They can be extremely crippling, similar to autistic burnout to an extent, where I will be intensely productive or active and inspired one moment then another day I will not be able to comprehend the reason to do anything and will be completely incapacitated, unable to do anything productive without extreme effort and consequently depressed.

I am self diagnosed however, but I overwhelmingly meet the definition of autistic from what I have read. Especially the fixation on small pieces of irrelevant information. I think it is one of the reasons I am so drawn towards arguing. Most of my friends left me because of it, combine it with the stress of putting on a mask to maintain relationships and I have no friends now.

>What about routines? Do you have an issue with changing your routine?
>Do you focus on pieces of information autistically?
>Are you startled and distressed by new sounds, smells and visual stimulation?
>Does it make you feel overwhelmed?
>Do you feel you have to rehearse everything you say before you say it, like you are reading from a script?
>Do you feel like you are incapable of thinking or doing anything productive after speaking to people for long enough?

Ultimately everything you listed could be autism, but it could be down to low self esteem and extended periods of social isolation. Many people with low self esteem struggle to make eye contact, typically lowering eye gaze. This is a way to subconsciously indicate submissiveness, and not wanting to be a threat or challenge, something that people with low self esteem are afraid of appearing like as they don't want to risk being socially excluded.

I am also self diagnosed so I am not credible, but I will say that you most likely need at least a few of the symptoms I listed to be autistic.

>Especially the fixation on small pieces of irrelevant information. I think it is one of the reasons I am so drawn towards arguing. Most of my friends left me because of it, combine it with the stress of putting on a mask to maintain relationships and I have no friends now.
Welcome to Jow Forums dude

if you develop a crush on someone do you miss them?

I want to coldly watch autists be tortured to death. Truly abominations that need to be purified through slaughter.

i am an aspie and i cant relate to a lot of this. I love people and feel emotions towards them even if sometimes I dont understand them. I just remember that theyre conscious too just like me. I am very low on the spectrum though

It is so hard man I really don't know how to cope with it.

Naw, humans in general are just horrible creatures.

They act horrible and taste horrible.

>That they do not miss people
unfortunately i have to admit thats true
beyond dependence i dont really miss people

High functioning autists who are obviously autistic are fucking pussies. I am high functioning autistic and if you saw me you would just think that I am a normie. Growing up I dealt with all the typical autistic shit but after the countless hours of introspection and self development I have turned myself into a soon to be millionaire superhuman chad. Maybe I was born with a more mathematical mind than other humans but I sure as fuck was not born lazy enough not to become the type of person I want to be. I will however point out that I have the genetic advantage of looks

Yeah I feel you user. You really have to just chill and let people talk instead of arguing but it's hard when you want to correct them or just explore the finer details of something.

>I definitely hate to have my schedule interrupted. It leaves a bad feeling in my gut that wont go away for a while when I have to do something unexpected.
>Small noises do cause me to lose focus as I try to determine where they came from, but I wouldn't say that it overwhelms me unless it's late at night, then I wonder if it is an animal or intruder. >I have a very obsessive personality - I usually will get fixated on one activity or game and think about it constantly for a few months, but then I switch to something else after a while.
>The one thing you listed that really strikes a chord is the social parts. I always plan out meetings and phone calls that I have to make. When I make an important phone call, I write out a flowchart on note paper on potential ways the conversation can go, and what to say for each branch.
>I also always imagine having a "social meter", like a mana bar in a video game, and I feel that it is drained as I interact with people, eventually hitting a point where it is too exhausting to talk to people.
But I know a lot of these are just part of being an introvert, and also are symptoms of anxiety and not necessarily autism. I think about this a lot, and dont want to give in to placebo.

>I dont think others are buying it when I try and mimic.
i dont think you an fake it. the unconscious mid reads and deciphers very small details to judge social situations and people automatically use this information to engage socially
unless you can somehow control everything down to your facial muscles someone is going to pick up on it

I miss people but only when I think about them

I usually don't feel bad about lying and acting to get my way, as long as the end justifies the means then I have no problems with this kind of behaviour.
Main reason I don't have much friends is because I don't form pointless relationships. It's not that I don't see them as people, but if I have no reason to talk to someone anymore then I don't.
This leads to a lot of frustration with girls, I want to talk to them but at the same time I can't justify talking to someone for seemingly no real reason.

I used to think I had a lot of empathy, but the truth is I'm just very good at reading people.

>if you develop a crush on someone do you miss them?
yes
try it normalnigger

also anyone else brutally honest about everything they say?

Forget it it's an edgy kids thread with no interest in actual discussion

I once argued how I felt about implants with a friend who got breast implants. I really shouldn't have and I wasn't even implying I disapproved of her decision, it was just an interesting discussion. I'm pretty sure this is just one out of thousands of reasons people don't like me anymore.

I'm at the level of autism where I can understand jokes and sarcasm and when to shut the fuck up about trains, but social games elude me. I am literally too autistic to be able to enjoy playing Dungeons and Dragons. I never really understood what empathy was until trying LSD and molly, but sober me mostly doesn't care if people live or die.

>I am literally too autistic to be able to enjoy playing Dungeons and Dragons.
Damn I get that too. I thought I wasn't autistic enough to enjoy it until I realized you needed friends to play it.

God damn man I identify very strongly with your post. I hope you don't commit suicide ever. I want to think something's gonna fall into place, some social understanding nirvana is going to remove the need for social anxiety. I feel so strange around others, it's a lot to have to think of everything I do.

>like feeling intense guilt for not replying to someones message
>was walking out
>someone said have a good weekend
>mind had already switched off
>didnt register that i should say thanks, you too or anything at all until i was outside

FUCKFUCFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

>I definitely hate to have my schedule interrupted. It leaves a bad feeling in my gut that wont go away for a while when I have to do something unexpected.

Typically for me if I don't have a schedule I have to use every bit of effort I have to do anything productive. I find it extremely hard to function without a schedule and if someone tries to break my schedule, even if its by inviting me somewhere, I feel intense discomfort, sometimes I have panic attacks, sometimes I get intensely angry.

>The one thing you listed that really strikes a chord is the social parts. I always plan out meetings and phone calls that I have to make. When I make an important phone call, I write out a flowchart on note paper on potential ways the conversation can go, and what to say for each branch.

Sounds accurate but as you said could be down to introversion and fear of rejection. If you suffer from social anxiety it could just be a coping mechanism. When you speak to people, provided you are not panicking, do you feel lost? Not just in the sense of not knowing what is interesting to say, but not knowing when to respond or end the conversation or how? For example, speaking over people and then being surprised by their reaction, wanting to end a conversation but not knowing how. Basically if the conversation doesn't feel like an 'exchange' between to people, like you receive their information and you can't read what the information means and when and how to respond, then it is most likely related to autism. But if you suffer from sever anxiety or low self esteem then it really could be related to that.

I usually can understand that I shouldn't say how I honestly feel. But I feel the majority of people are so ridiculously fake and focused on presenting what they wish people would see them as, it makes it very hard for me not to offend people. I find if I am even a little bit honest with most people I deeply offend people and they think I am rude. I find it so hard to have any relationships with anyone as I can't ever express myself honestly so people always have a false impression of who I am.

Self imposed loneliness because people don't accept who I am inside.

> I never really understood what empathy was until trying LSD and molly

Interesting. I've noticed I actually become waaaay more capable of understanding social cues when I'm drunk. It's almost like when I'm sober my mind is functioning on such a high level I am over processing everything, but when I drink, language makes sense more, I don't get sensory shock, I understand body language more.

Any other autists have a similar experience with alcohol?

Planning to get a diagnosis but I don't know where. I think I might have aspergers but I feel as if some stuff I do is more autistic than spergie.
>speak over others with "blablalbla" uncontrollably when I get annoyed
>repetitive sounds drive me to tantrums
>"collect" information in google docs about interests
>tantrum when sudden new arrangement in my previous plan
>friend joked about thinking I was autistic when we first met
>never miss parents
>never message first
>completely fine without interacting with anyone for weeks
>hit my head/self during arguments
>talk over people on the phone
>bright computer screens piss me off
What do spergs think?

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i refuse to play there game
artificial fake soulless subhumans i hate them

>tfw can't tell if i actually have autism or if i'm fucked in the head from being abused and thrown into special education schools
When I was in school, I'd have the problem of accidentally making "friends" and being annoyed by someone who thought I enjoyed being around them, but I never had the problem of wanting to be friends with someone and not knowing how. Between that and lots of other realizations I've made I think I might have been misdiagnosed. It's unfortunate that trauma, ADHD, and autism share so many traits.

My brother game ended himself last year and everyone is super emotional about it

Like I cried for a week but I almost forgot he existed

I frequent dark humor and I did some really demented shit a a child that I've been wanting to share but I didn't know where to put the horrors of me being a lil shit

Pic not related

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sorry for your loss, but please clear your notifications it's triggering my ocd

> Any other autists have a similar experience with alcohol?

I like alcohol but I appreciate its effect more on other people.

Drunk people are way easier for me to understand than sober people, as they're more likely to just blab whatever is on their mind, and their is much less nuance to their body language.

Sober people are polite, will have rehearsed conversations with no meaning, and are way more likely to be up to no good.

Ok I will

I was trying to remember the earliest Outburst if something like this

And then suddenly I remembered this

All right to for context me my mom my sister and my stepdad weren't really in a good place we were living in the basement of his mom's house.
And on the basement stairwell there was a concrete wall where you walk down to a door that was made it completely out of metal.
So like a normal day I'm spending the day with my mother doing normal things.
Until some weird thought Pops in my head that I should write something on the concrete wall.
Then I do
And I proceeded to write this.

Fly.
Die.
Cry.

My mom found this and she asked me if I was insane and needed help she forced me into crying so that I wouldn't do it again

And even till today it kind of messes with me you that I do something like that

Ps. I have MANY more stores like this

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certainly autists have less understanding of empathy, but we do still feel it to some degree. if anything, neurotypical people are more dangerous, as understanding empathy allows one to manipulate people with it

Bump, O P here
Been thinking, I think I actually care, sometimes I tell myself I don't as I was manipulated a lot by people
I like my friends and can feel for people, a lot
I'm just scared

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Recently went through a situation where all my friends left me I missed them definitely now I know to miss no one everyone is just a disappointment waiting to happen

I don't think autism is the culprit but your life has gone to shit and now you have a complex.
>I'm just scared
P.S I'm also afraid. I literally exist just to avoid fear

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So tired of this shit, if we're monsters then what are normalfags? and why are the worst people that I've ever had to deal with considered "Normal" by everyday standards?

There is a lot worse things that being attached to people that aren't even worth being attached to in the first place, and at least we're self-aware about our own shortcomings, which is more that I can say about all the barely-sentient normie NPCs.

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This, assburgers too. I love a few and hate the many, as it should be.

>I'm just scared
Don't be scared. When you're too afraid to care about anyone for too long, you become unable to feel emotions or form emotional bonds, and then you feel empty and dead inside all the time.

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My take on this

Autist have emotions but can't READ emotions from others faces or body language easily, smarter one learn to guess at them. They learn to take a moment and think "what would I feel if I was in the other guys shoes?"

Sociopaths do not feel any and so can't put themself in your shoes, but smarter ones learn to read others very well and to fake out having emotions by repeating cues from their surroundings.

I do miss people when I think about them
It may be much, but that doesn't mean they don't mean anything to me or that I don't value them
Wouldn't say it has gone to shit, my relationships just ended on very cruel notes, I hurt my loved ones as I was not able to read into their signs, I made them feel lonely and feel detached, it made me think what kind of person I am
There is this site called heartless asperger obviously written by a dumb thot, but it did make some good points about how negatively people can get impacted by aspies in serious relationships.
Maybe I think too much about it.
Noted, I'll be careful, it's just that I either get overtly attached or opposite, there's no in between, balance

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Living this way as someone who was diagnosed from a young age has taught me that I was literally born just to end up lonely and die. Would have been slightly better if I was one of those savants who was born with a natural intuition for something practical and needed in today's economy like low-level programming or engineering. I just ended up with poor social skills and no friends.

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Thank you, user, I think this is best way to describe it and how I am as well. It's a complicated thing I myself suffer to understand

Most aspies are like you most have interest in dumb shit, not useful stuff.

I've read somewhere that aspies are more likely to be depressed, for various of reasons, obvious being the isolation you experience, but also the fact your brain wiring is different.
Go see psychiatrist to make sure my f am s

Sounds more like schizoid with a good splatter of compulsive habits to my rather limited take on things.

>it's just that I either get overtly attached or opposite, there's no in between, balance
I know that feel, though I don't think I have autism. Clinginess stems from a fear of rejection I think, you're trying to keep the person close to avoid being rejected but having the opposite effect. The cure for it should be becoming more self-assured that people aren't going to just leave, not sure how to do that.

I do. Got too drunk the day before and ended up goint to work with a buzz and all morning i was by my terms a social genious, vracked good jokes at the right time, builded on what people said effortlessly. But when i think of it i was normal. If thats what conversation is for others then no fucking shit they want to spend time with others.

I'm autistic and when I try fitting in with people, no matter how much effort I put in, I always find some way to fuck things up. Doesn't matter if it's online or real life, everyone ends up hating me. Anyone else know this feel?

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I do, best thing to do is be you, probably not possible to fit in, normies can feel you're not being for "real"

Jesus christ, i have actual fucking autism. Fuck this gay earth this shit is a fate worse than death

True. But I got a lot of 'encouragement' from my parents back in the day to apply for certain jobs where the employers assumed that Aspies might have an edge like for data entry or Microsoft Office odd-jobs. I wasn't magically drawn into any of that so I've had to endure doing work that is NOT my forte at all. I even suffered through a retail position for a Winter. Right now I'm a janitor and looking at what else is out there for guys like me is discouraging.

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