Be a physics student

>be a physics student
>originally started studying it because you overthink shit 24/7 and can't stop your brain
>realize your peers are nerds who like star trek, mahjong, coding and other autistic shit you're repulsed by
>absolutely refuse to learn programming
>apparently it's important in physics
>fail courses that don't seem like they're directly related to understanding the universe on a deeper level
>want to change fields but everything else is even more boring

Where did I go wrong? I'm somewhere between a normie and a nerd so I don't belong anywhere.

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OP, every field of study has it's bullshit and you know this, everybody knows this
Dont give up on your passion because of some boring mandatory shit you have to do, stay strong my man you can do it

Why refuse to learn how to program? It's not anything nerdy, you're just making the computer your bitch.

Star trek genuinely is repulsive, a complete butchery of sci fi in the name of normie values

It teaches nothing about nature or the universe.
Physics is about finding out the source code of the universe. Programming is about making your own universe. In my mind this makes programming the furthest thing from science that I can imagine.

I teach physics to uninterested teens and my only joy in this job is to wear a different shirt for a number of days according to the Fibonacci sequence, waiting for someone to notice my shirts follow a pattern.

2 years and so far not a peep.

I fell into a similar situation in school where I realized that I would be making a lot of money, but millions of dollars would be on the line if I don't make sure every single character is just right. I'm not built for that kind of pressure right out of the box, unfortunately. I'm 2 years in, and I'm not sure what to do now. I picked a career path that I now realize will be too stressful for me and will make me more neurotic and crazy than I already am. All because people told me my whole life that I should go into computer science and IT because I'm "good with computers", and I took it upon myself to try to prove that. But it gives me migraines and anyone yelling at me or mad at me makes me want to curl up in a ball. Technology makes people mad. Programming and deadlines make people mad. If I'm the guy they go to when they're mad, I'm going to get yelled at. If I get yelled at, I will cry and feel embarrassed. Why did I do this?

>absolutely refuse to learn programming

how else are you going to test your theories idiot? many experiments have to be simulated

>Programming is about making your own universe

not really, you need numerical methods, some things don't have analytic solutions. Anything other than hydrogenic atoms are non-closed-form fuckfests where equilibrium is jostled for, not cast into marble as some grand 3D polar function.

You need to realize that some of the labels in your mind you grew up with are just false. You associated nerds with bad and programming with nerds so now you have an immature aversion to learning it. It is just a tool and a very useful one. It's only natural though I too make similar associations but try to think about it logically

Programmers generally tend to enjoy staying at home, coding in their own privacy at 3am with a bottle of coke, good music and curling up into a comfy ball.
Every programmer I know kinda hates people and having deadlines.

Basic programming and engineering skills are required to design systems that can collect and analyze data about the universe

Newton and Einstein did pretty good for themselves without programming, why couldn't I?

I tired Arduino and unironically it was already too much for me.

t. OP

Well I'm probably in the wrong field anyway, but what can I do at this point? I want to study humanistic stuff like languages, cultures and arts even less.
There's no field out there that I would be really passionate about and love all of it. I chose physics because I liked it in high school. It was interesting how you could use math to piece natural laws together and use them creatively.

Currently I'm just forcing myself through university out of spite.

t. OP

do you think you are a shit teacher? are you one of those teachers that just teach, grade shit and won't do more than required

How do you find programming difficult compared to all the math you need to do for physics? You must be first year

They were mostly theoretical physicists. There are two main parts of physics, theoretical and experimental. You can focus your research on theoretical but an undergrad degree should include both.

If OP finds programming difficult then he's too much of a brainlet for theoretical

>do you think you are a shit teacher? are you one of those teachers that just teach, grade shit and won't do more than required

I'm a shit person and a shit scientist but I think I'm a good teacher. My main goal is to get as many people interested in science as possible so they can achieve what I could not.
The key is to have them understand basic physics intuitively, not memorize it.

I feel like this already wouldn't work just because your students don't see you every day.
If you, let's say, only teach them on Tuesdays and Thursdays, they have no chance of ever noticing.

I am not a Physicist, but i'm pretty sure that programming is used in Physics to create simulations and calculations to aid experiments or hypothesises.
You seem to have a warped understanding of programming, and equate it to creating video game worlds or something.

Arduino programming is the hardest thing I've done so far.
Not even kidding.
Because of this I thought I'd become the pen-and-paper kind of physicist who just thinks about philosophical stuff and comes up with the truth, writes it down as math and receives the Oscar prize of physics.

But yeah I'm first year and struggling with math too.

-OP

>You seem to have a warped understanding of programming

I know. Every programmer I've ever known has been a weak, autistic asshole so I have an emotional bias I can't get rid of.
People tend to disregard things they suck at, too.

>where do I belong?
In a fucking coffin

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do you know about computational physics?
Plenty of masters of that.
Some equations you cant solve with pen and paper so you use a computer/numerical methods to do the simulations.
It's physics you're just using programming as a tool.
Grit your teeth and do it bro.

you're just a brainlet then OP sorry
Programming is not as hard as the physics so if you're already struggling you're in for a rough ride

People are focussing too much on the programming thing.
I just wanted to know what I should do with my life

-OP

you already know. You lived it out and realized that you know what you like and don't like.
>Well I'm probably in the wrong field anyway, but what can I do at this point? I want to study humanistic stuff like languages, cultures and arts even less.
>There's no field out there that I would be really passionate about and love all of it. I chose physics because I liked it in high school. It was interesting how you could use math to piece natural laws together and use them creatively.
>Currently I'm just forcing myself through university out of spite.
>t. OP

>Programming is about making your own universe. In my mind this makes programming the furthest thing from science that I can imagine.

Then you need to broaden your imagination.

Programming can be used to construct models of the real universe.

If you're excited by the real universe, then you should automatically be excited about creating an accurate software model of it too. What better way to confirm your understanding of the universe than to create a model of it? It's pretty hard to build a real universe of your own to study, so why not do it the easy way and use software?

it's totally legitimate for him to not like programming, it's particular.
But all scientists/engineers have to use that tool.