Ive gotten really good at making people be mean to me. Now how do I make them do the opposite?

You can never go the other way. You only get the one.

I know what I am and that's human trash. I want someone to bully me to feel better about themselves. It's really the only way I can have any semblance of value in this world since I'm never going to be able to try to give someone love instead.

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try to be nice
smile
be charismatic
dont be so serious
relax
be outgoing
be playful

those things should make people treat you nicely

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At least you know where you belong. Why would you think you deserve any better in the first place?

user, I feel really bad about this, since no one deserves to feel that way, but I get it, and feel the same. I hope you find the bully of your dreams.

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>ask girl to record herself calling you disgusting
>ask her to tell you to kill yourself too
>she says thats horrible and wont do it
>offer her $5 via paypal
>ask her friend to do it
>she blocks me
>her friend blocks me
at least i tried

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I used to naively think I could try to be a loving partner or something and do things to make someone happy. Now I realize probably the best way I could do that is by being a literal punching bag.

Thanks user I hope you find someone too if you really think you deserve it. I just want to be of use to someone in this life and stop wasting space. I had someone that took their frustrations out on me on discord for a few days and it was nice it felt like I was actually helping.

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honestly surprised at least one of them didn't go for it

What is it about you that makes you think you could even make someone happy? Do you have ANY redeeming qualities at all?

another day
another tomoko

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Not really, the only quality I really have is that I try to be nice and patient and listen to peoples' problems and give advice. I used to think that was special but then someone told me I was retarded and that was just common courtesy. So if anything I'm below average as a human at best lol

I was never sure I could make someone happy, it was mostly naive optimism from seeing too much fictional romance and self inserting. I've grown older since then and realized I just end up making everyone I interact with worse off in the long run.

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Same exact thing happened to me a couple weeks ago, but I got too clingy. And I'm not gonna lie, being a punching bag is the most efficient way, especially if you enjoy it. But I just want you to know that it isn't the only way. If you try hard enough, you could find someone that doesn't want to hurt you. Finding someone who does is just as valid though, so it's up to you. At least, that's what I've learned.

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I can't believe there's people out there retarded enough to think that made them special when it's really just the baseline if anything. And thinking you could have that because of self inserting? I almost feel bad for you at this point.

I mean of course I'd prefer someone that loved me. But the biggest problem is that I don't think anyone ever could. I've gotten to the point now where I distrust anything nice someone says to me because it feels like they're lying/being polite. Then on the flip side I tend to trust and feel more comfortable if someone is upset/yelling at me/being generally mean because it feels more honest. Nobody is going to lie about hating you and calling you scum etc. Thank you for your kind words though user, I really hope you find someone that makes you happy and loves you assuming that's what you desire. Maybe people like us are the only ones that like clingy because I have always been a clingy person and wanted a clingy partner to match. Just me being selfish and possessive and stuff because I know a normal person would leave eventually I think.

Yeah I really felt that way for years and actually built up some confidence because of it. Thankfully someone important to me was able to open my eyes and help me get over myself and stop being deluded and arrogant. It wasn't so much I thought I would get it because I self inserted, I just thought fictional style romance was the natural form of love in the world and also assumed I was normal and would experience it one day as well. aka I'm retarded so don't pity me I'm not worth it lol

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You should thank them, it sounds like they did you a favor. You're better off being a punching bag rather than the arrogant prick you used to be, at least that way you get the attention you so clearly want.

From what I'm seeing we're pretty much two sides of the same coin. I'd much rather have an abusive partner, but not because I see it as love. It just feels so much nicer. It's a weird shivery feeling in my chest that I've sorta fallen in love with. But I agree with you on that last point. I really want someone who will reply to me as fast as I reply to them, and wants to be in my presence as much as I want to be in theres. And I understand with the honesty part. It's pretty true, and something I believed for a while. But I've found that being mean is usually effort for people who will willingly bully you, which is why they leave. And truly mean people wI'll just ghost you the moment you get clingy. I think we're both trying to find someone in that middle ground, or at least I am.

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well fuck. howd you do it in the first place?

The secret is to be intimidating so agreeable people will try to appease you. Disagreeable will either respect or hate you, but thats just the price you have to pay.

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Where do I get a submissive girl to abuse like this?

I have thanked them multiple times, I'm pretty sure they're just as glad as I am that I grew up. I'm not a punching bag though, I'm just an isolated neet doing nothing but browsing the internet all day when I'm not feeling sick or sleepy. I'm not sure what you mean by getting the attention I want, I never really seek attention from anyone nor do I tend to get it either. I actually dislike being in the spotlight and that's why I love anonymity so much.

I can see why you say that and actually I wonder if I'm just you but in an earlier stage of development. I've always been fairly masochistic although I'm afraid of physical pain and I wonder if this is just a stage of me coming to terms with myself. I've been wondering for months now whether I can even handle the fairytale love I used to crave assuming it existed. I would never want to make someone put in effort to be around me and honestly one of my biggest traits is that I will put others ahead of myself and do my best to mold my personality and actions and stuff to suit them. I would value my partner's happiness above all else even to extreme measures. I'm not really sure what I want if I even want anything, I've kind of resigned myself to remaining alone and useless instead of burdening others with my existence and issues. I still hope you find the person you're looking for though user, you seem kind.

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Any emotional masochist would work. They aren't that rare, just difficult to find, but extremely easy to keep.

Your early stage theory does hold a lot of water. I was kind of stream lined into this, but I do remember a time when I just wanted to please people. Only difference is I was pretty selfish about it, not as altruistic as you are. I put myself behind people, instead of putting them in front of me. And thanks user, I really appreciate it. I wish the same to you, you deserve it a lot more than I do.

>do my best to mold my personality and actions and stuff to suit them.
I relate to this so much it hurts. Ive found myself lying and switching opinions just to agree with people cause I'm afraid to death of disagreeing or annoying anyone. Especially with arguments, after a couple minutes or back and forths, I just shut down.

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You aren't a total waste of space user. You seem like a sweet enough person, from the short interaction we've had here anyway. I see no reason for you to not deserve real love. I'm sure you will find it some day.

Does anyone here want to be my emotional punching bag?
It would be pretty nice.
I've been feeling down lately and I think it's the main way to cheer me up.

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Let them talk about themselves.

I'm 110% okay with this.

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What do you mean you were streamlined into it? Did you have some sort of partner that molded you into the person you are today? If so what happened to them because you clearly seem to miss those days. I don't really deserve anything if I'm being honest and I'm probably just making myself sound better/more altruistic than I am. Like you said I'm deathly afraid of confrontation and hurting people or making them hate me or be annoyed at me. It's kept me up at night many times in the past and there's so many things I regret doing where my only solace is that the people I've hurt have almost certainly forgot the events. I actually have quite the issue where I tend to become stubborn and argumentative if I get going but I've been trying to work on it and more specifically trying to not get into arguments in the first place. As I said I'm quite curious into how you ended up like this because I came from a fairly normal family and childhood despite many people assuming I was raped or abused.

I'm confused, which poster are you? I'm not the smartest but I assumed I was only talking to 2 people and both of which saw me like the human trash I am. I'm thankful for your kind words but I don't believe I've earned them in any way, shape or form. Still I also hope I find someone someday despite knowing I haven't earned it.

I'm certainly open to trying if you'd like, even if it only makes you feel a little better it's better than nothing. Do you have discord?

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Being too nice to people makes them think you're robotic or just faking it.

I'm the one who's been insulting you the whole time. While I agree you might not be the brightest I don't think you're anywhere near as bad as you or I have said. There are much worse people out there, you are at least pleasant to talk to. But again, we only spoke briefly.

OmegaCope#7589
Not really that mean generally, so just wanna try it.

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Yes, I have had this experience. People call you fake if you are too nice, its fucking stupid.

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Oh ok, I'm sorry user I was confused because I didn't think someone would pull a 180 on me like that. I figured if it was you that you were trying to test me to see if I was faking it and just looking for compliments/attention or something. I appreciate your kind words and I hope maybe I'm just being too hard on myself but it really truly seems like I make everyone's life worse.

I added you but don't feel forced to do anything you don't want to.

I had shitty parents, but that just made me submissive. Avoiding eye contact, arguments, all that. But you were right to assume a partner, and I really do miss them. No one I have ever met has compared to them. They gaslighted and fucked with me for months, going from small things to big things fairly quickly. I was naive and thought they cared about me, and just didn't want to show it. I still think they did. Even though they told me they just showed glimpses of kindness to sqrew with me. They stopped after a while. Then just stopped talking to me. That's mostly why I'm looking for someone. Just a replacement for him. If I could do it all again I would in a heartbeat. And trust me, they've forgotten I once asked a friend to forgive me for something I did a week or two beforehand, and he was completely confused when I did and why.

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Who knows? Maybe I'm lying. Maybe I was lying when I said all those other things. I guess that's just half the fun of the anonymity.

Do you know what actually pisses people off? Isolating them in front of their faces. Show that they are beneath them in every single way and don't bother to resolve the issue or say why you're mad or not interacting with them.
Is it passive aggressive? Yes.
Is it rude? It depends.
Could it fuck a person up? Yes, It can.

You're right that's definitely part of the fun. I'm glad I could let you have fun in some way regardless of your opinions of me. No matter what thank you for taking the time to talk to me at all.

I'm sorry to hear that you had a rough childhood and that you were in an abusive relationship. I can sort of get how you became addicted to it, my ex had BPD and honestly I got addicted to the mood swings myself. It was really comfy to get to see their real feelings come out when the emotions overwhelmed them and I could hear what they really felt about me and it made me sad when they tried to take it back after. In the end though it came out they were using me and never really felt any love for me in the first place. I should have seen it coming but I didn't for some reason lol. I'm guessing based on your images that you're trans and/or gay? If so I've heard it's really tough to deal with that so I can't imagine abuse on top of the rest of what you've endured. Glad you're still trying though user and keep going until you find your soulmate!

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I've always fantasized having a BPD bf, so thanks for the insight. And yeah gay, but mostly just for dick. And user you're too sweet. It's not difficult for me, only because I tell people online, so I don't have to deal with it irl. And I honestly wish the same for you user.

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>gay, but mostly just for dick
It seems to be pretty common these days and I wonder if it's because of porn or what. I can't say I'd recommend someone with BPD since it's just a particular mental illness but it really shouldn't be vilified like it is. As long as you're patient and stuff you should be able to handle them. Honestly like I said I miss my bpd partner and think I make a decent match for someone with bpd. Thank you for calling me sweet but I'm really not, I just try to be nice because Jow Forums is already filled with enough hate.

I've heard the same from a lot of people. And user, you've shown nothing to kindness to everyone you've talked to in this thread. You're sweet, there's no two ways about it.

Kindness should be the default right? You've been kinder than me honestly so you shouldn't think too much of it. If I'm honest even I'm a bit afflicted with the issue after being meme'd by porn a for enough years. It seems like you have actual feelings though not just meme feelings which is good and hopefully makes you worry about them less.

For me it depends. And I've only been kind to you, cause I'm only replying to you, while you e been kind to everyone. And kindness is kindness, even if it is a meme. I mean you base most of if not all your existence on other people's happiness, that has to account for something, don't ya think?

Try not being yourself

orrrigg

Well yes I only have value if I'm giving others happiness but even then it's not like I have that much value. The happiness I manage to achieve is almost always fleeting and more like a temporary distraction if anything. Not complaining since I'm glad I can contribute anything at all I just don't feel it's worth praise. I hope kindness never turns into a meme though, that would be a really sad day,

The space between 0 and 1 is infinite, user. You'll find at least a semi permanent happiness someday, I just know it, no matter how it may be.

Not to be depressing but I think the only happiness I have to look forward to is the sweet release of death when I finally work up the courage to try again. Thank you though I know you mean well and you're trying to help and I appreciate it a lot