Boyfriend requirements:

>americans
lol hard pass

you will not replace us!
you will not replace us!
you will not replace us!

fucking burgers stop giving me false hope already

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00ps forgot le epic charlottesville image

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well what did you expect? where are you from?

Yeah, It was pretty obvious that any girl who likes skellies is European. Burger women exclusively like buff guys, while European women often like skellies.

hey i wasn't seriously blaming you, only myself. and guessed correctly if you're still wondering.

All of those but i won't settle for anything less then a cute boy. Roasties should just leave.

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b-but I am a cute boy UwU

Good news for you, OP is a guy who posted for quick replies.

Would you accept a manlet as your boyfriend?

>isn't a predator

not a skelly, damn

yes in fact I'd prefer 0ne

>Optimist
>Patient
>Not religious
>Knows Sign Language
>Not taller than 5'9.
>Likes the same weeb mix of anime/manga/games
>Has other hobbies to keep him busy

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>MLP
>Black metal
>Finds '''comfort''' in darkness

HOLY BAIT

Also I can probably further narrow it down to Northern European countries like Germany, The Netherlands, any Scandinavian country, or the U.K.. Also I'll throw in Switzerland just in case. Maybe France, but it's a bit iffy.

Why not tell this larp to fuck off and listen to Burzum all together?

-Your based original Burzum user

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>why not listen to Burzum

because even by metal standards, it's garbage

please explain why you think this is bait?
if you dont find dark places comfortable you are probably a normalfag

>be somewhat smart
Eh? I mean I'm not a tool shed but I wouldn't say I'm smart

>Has no friends
Do discord friends count? If so I have about 2 I talk to on a daily basis, the other 3 are people I have on my friends list cause I've known them since 2015-2017, but I don't talk to them often anymore.

>Is at least 50% white

I'm about 98% white at least last time I checked.

>Is a virgin

Ya.

>Is needy

I'm needy to people who I'm close with but I don't act the part.

>Willing to live with me

Do you live in the Northeast?

>Likes cuddling

I've never done this before but the concept seems amazing on paper. Would try with a gf/10

>Has "autistic interests" such as anime or mlp

Current weeaboo, former brony (I might rewatch the show one day if I get around to it)

>Listens to black metal

How about nu metal/metalcore?

>Has long straight hair

I cut it a few months ago, but hey it'll be long again in a few months.

>Finds comfort in darkness

Probably.

Well femanon? Want my discord? I'm not underage.

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your discord is kvlt or something right?

Because you're a freak looking for an edgy ponyfag.

Cap. Early production was garbage, but Varg is a great musician and whoever follows standars is a pathetic normie.

Typical corefag, stop being desperate you useless cunt, FEMANONS DON'T FUCKING EXIST.

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umm how did you know?
yes, yes I am you got a problem with that?

I was responding to her questions cunt I'm far beyond being desperate at this point.

yes I do want your contact but I dont live in the northwest also im a guy

actually all bodytypes except overweight are good
>bluh bluh bluh larp
you know this place is slowly frying my brain.

You're answering a larper my dude, I hope you realize actual females only exist in /soc/
Get a load of this newfag yall

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That's just how awesome i am.
T.worldclass detective

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Typical kvltfag, stop being a desperate useless cunt, SATAN DOESNT FUCKING EXIST

>literally all of these fit me
Too bad you're most likely not in my country (Ireland)

what specifically gave it off?
t3ll me so i dont post it again

ok, whatever this is my discord GentleGiant2230#0424

Satanism is only an edgy thing for middle schoolers, I'm an atheist lmfao.
The fact that you assumed I am a satanist just because I listen to Burzum destroys your IQ desu

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I'm all of these and I also am a legit 7/10 in my balkan shithole, into the bargain. Where are you from?

The blackmetal and edgy stuff. But i'll prob keep spotting you cutie. Not the second coming of conan for nothing

>Satanism is only an edgy thing for middle schoolers
thats where your wrong kiddo
also if you use the word edgy you are most likely a vapid emotionless normalfag

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RIP I live in amuttica though

I personally agree with some thoughts regards spiritual satanism, but if you are an acid satanist you're just an edgy fuck who thinks he can murder someone but is not even stable to do that

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nicely deducted, but most european people here do happen to be from those countries. either way you are correct.

whats an acid satanist and also I am very capable of murder trust me. I wont self incriminate on here though

Literally hello

There are different types of Satanism.
The Acid Satanism is the one media portraits to normies.

Hating god, sacrificing humans to Asamoel and Lucifer and doing all kinds of edgy stuff.

This is acid Satanism

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be my patrician asocial historyfag skinhead bf

Let's be honest, you're a dude LARPING or a faggot aren't you
I'm just kind of amazed at how well you described me

>overweight
Well I was 4-5 years ago, if that is a killer for you. But now I am actually a bit under ideal weight. I could still work on distributing it better though

But to quickly smash any occurring hopes, is germany too far?

Just found out you're a disgusting euro, nevermind

>if you dont find dark places comfortable you are probably a normalfag
>t.unaware sperg

It is. You think you're shocking and different but all you come across as to people is a retard looking for attention (especially if you're a foid). That's what being edgy means, you're not as shocking as you think.

ps: the Satanic Bible was the cringiest book I've ever read, desu.

i was gonna send you proof, that's rude user. i'm just good at reading people.
sadly yes. but even if it doesn't matter, i wouldn't mind if someone used to be chubby/fat.

>t.35% ''white''
kekeke

I'm not that guy lel. He's just some random dude

well now that i revealed my intentions i can't do it anymore desu. i also really just described my ideal type in its most condensed form, your original reply was a surprise to me.

Fairs. You can't really trust people on Jow Forums is all. I don't really give a shit where people are from. As long as they're not french.

You're in the right place then I guess???

My Boyfriend Requirements:
>double amputee (arms)
>can do everything with his feet
>hypermobile hip joints
>shaves his legs
>likes to cook

well i might be french desu

this is not me looks like the larper is going for both of us now. either way, you're a based user.

Wew well you said "barely any social media" so I only have discord as all fags on r9k do so add me there if you feel like it Passos#2700

You got a laugh out of me but you're still a nigger

are you deaf
originally

>finds comfort in darkness
I cannot stand the dark. the sun brings life

Only one I miss out on is the long straight hair. Too bad girls like this don't exist irl.

I meet you, and counter with

>I think i'm smart, but probably average
>no friends
>100% white
>fucked e-gf 5 years ago once, virgin otherwise
>very needy
>will live with you
>like cuddling
>mega autist interests, anime, mmos, and more im not willing to admit here
>most black metal is gay but i like dungeon synth
>medium long straight hair
>yes comfort in darkness.

>>is somewhat smart
>>has no friends
so i can trap him
>>is at least 50% white
>>is a virgin
so i can trap him
>>is needy
so he is dependent on me
>>willing to live with me
so i can trap him
>>likes cuddling
so i dont have to fuck him
>>has "autistic" interests such as anime or mlp
guaranteed retard
>>listens to black metal
>>has long straight hair
>>finds comfort in darkness
aka meme depression

and what do you bring to the table you entitled cunt? SAGED

i'll add you tomorrow as it's getting late, so we'll meet again later.

Indeed I am.
This is an original deaf post.

Fairs lel. Dw if you don't I won't be *that* hurt. Peace

>Passos#2700
wait no, fuck that. i know you and you're a fucking asshole

No harm done, I have tons of other big redflags that would make things stumble either way.

Also not sure if my history interests could really pass the 'autistic' barriers, lel.
Sure I know my ww2 and american revolution times pretty well, also some roman and greek. But some guys are cray-cray specific about this stuff, doubt I could keep up.

Your boyfriend will be looking like a Q tip

Chad here. Everything she said is a check list of things she hates. Enjoy the shit test, betas

I know it's you, buddy.
Add me, faggot let's argue

why no taller than 5'9 though

Fuck I literally fit into all of these except for mlp / anime god fucking damnit

umm i don't think so. you'll stay in the blocked list buddy

That's because you're original and unique. Chin up, sweaty

I'm 4'11 so when it gets to a foot larger difference it feels gross. Their features feel more like an ogres when compared to my midget-tier self.

unaware sperg? I literally have a high functioning autism diagnosis

Aight pussy

>is at least 56% white
AS A CITIZEN OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA I AM DELIGHTED TO SEE THAT MY 56% WHITENESS IS ENOUGH FOR YOU, AND THAT YOU AREN'T A PURITY SPIRALLING ANGLO WHO WANTS MORE BROTHER WARS

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I'm not gay but I'll post my discord anyway omega#6674

But you fat and that's more definitely a dealbreaker, my dear.

and how do you gauge height exactly irl? factors other than height makes you perceive people as taller or shorter

mine are:
>thin
>blond
>bowl cut
very simple

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My father's friend is right on the edge of that feature for me. When I asked him how tall his friend was the answer was 5'9. Body types will play into it too but it's a good enough general limit.

I can't imagine how much it would suck not knowing how good DGR's soundtrack is

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>not religious
Why would someone give you a chance when you wont give one to the lord
Youre disgusting

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>Adore Kaede's protagonist stint
>Would probably find me subhuman for not being able to expereince all her reference songs

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It's a shame this is a larp, I fit everything except for listening to black metal but I'm open to a lot of music.

Thiswillneverexist.bat

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I'm all this except for the long hair and black metal parts

And all this except I'm the opposite of skelly

>tfw no gf to enjoy my collection of over 2,000 CDs and 100 LPs of 50's/60's rock, classic country, blues/R&B, and soul music

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