Make a female friend, she's really great and helps me with my autism all the time

>make a female friend, she's really great and helps me with my autism all the time
>finally my autism becomes too much, I act like a retard one two many times and she says it's time for us to stop talking
Welp, I'm irredeemable. The worst part is I couldn't even keep the fact I liked her secret until the end. I ended up spilling my spaghetti yesterday. It I can't even be a girl's friend how on earth am I supposed to find a wife one day?

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You probably won't find a wife. That's a reality you should embrace. If you don't have any significant relationships in your teens or 20s then statistically you're unlikely to have another until your late 40s or something.

They say that they can tolerate autism, but in reality, it's too much to handle and they will pretty much leave you.

I've more or less accepted this reality but she wanted to be my friend in the first place and I guess I grew attached to her. I can't say I had a real friend like her before male or female and now I'm basically alone again lol
The funniest thing is I got rid of the others I was talking to so I could focus my energy on her because I was enjoying our time together a lot and wanted to give her my full attention (she talked a lot and I wanted to make sure I could respond to everything).

Well to be fair this was some advanced autism. The last thing I said before she deleted me was pretty mean in retrospect and I feel bad about it. I wish I was more mature and able to handle my emotions better instead of trying to blame others for them. She did nothing wrong and invalidated her feelings and turned her into the bad guy. It's no wonder I'm alone kek

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I always hear about autism and stuff and guys saying they are autistic and all but memes aside, how do you act? Examples?
user, I'm not a great person to give advice, but the little I know include this:

Don't ever put your entire effort on someone, especially in females, you are gonna lose to talk or meet other people who are even more cool and you will be focused on only one person and that's definitely bad for yourself. If she talks a lot that's okay, respond or talk to her when you're not busy and stuff but not all the time being there for her 24/7. Pit yourself first always, and if she has to wait no problem she can wait. Maybe you know this saying but they miss you more when you're not there, so they will appreciate you more when you're there.

Correction: you cant be a girl's friend today. You can improve yourself and learn how not to sperg out. Then, find yourself a wife.

I would beg for forgiveness hoping she can still accept me as her friend.

What did you do that made her fed up with you?

I'm not sure if it's actual autism, I'm sure if I had it I'd have been diagnosed. I'm not sure how else to describe it but it's just part of the robot vernacular at this point. As for your advice, I can't really take it as it goes against my core personality and wants. My ideal is to only have one person to focus on, namely a gf and eventually a wife. My motivation and reason for living comes from other people and I would much rather put others ahead of myself than the reverse. The reason we stopped talking was because she asked to and if I wasn't this way I would have acted clingy and begged and pressured her to stay. Maybe that's the healthier way of doing things but it feels bad and makes me feel guilty. I really hope the "girls like you more when you ignore them" thing is just a meme because I don't think I'm capable of ignoring people like that so I'd end up alone. Thank you for the advice though user I appreciate it

I'm quite ugly and there are many other hurdles in the way before I could really hope to find a gf/wife. I thought I had one at one time but she turned out to have been lying and using me for attention. It was soul crushing if I'm honest and it made me question everything I thought up until that time.

As I said above I could do that but I think it's selfish and in the end I'd rather her be happy without me than miserable with me

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Several things over the past few days that culminated in today. Most recently we were talking about mental illness and how I'm attracted to/comforted by some traits of mental illness which are generally regarded as negative. She hates when her mental illness is fetishized but I really wasn't trying to do that, I was trying to assert that I don't see it as a negative. We then got into an argument about whether I actually knew what the mental illness was like and what dealing with someone with it was like, during which I stupidly admitted to feeling personally attacked. Understandably she took this as me trying to take moral superiority or something and gave up. I should have kept my mouth shut and tried not to let my emotions get involved and I deeply regret it. I'm worried I hurt her but she always said I thought she was more affected by things than she was. Sorry for blogging

Hurdles were made to be jumped over. Keep running, keep jumping, and dont lose hope. Eventually you'll be able to clear them all.

I'm incapable of jumping over hurdles for the sake of it due to my laziness. I need a reason to jump over them and in order to get the person who will be that reason I need to jump over them. It's a wonderfully vicious cycle. Honestly I'd prefer to find someone who likes me for me and I like them for them and neither of us would have to jump over hurdles or through hoops. It's a shame there aren't many girls who aren't interested in the rat race

That sounds like such a petty fight to end a friendship but I'm guessing there's more to the story. Does she have many friends besides you? If you two hang out all the time and made a lot of memories she will miss it one day may try to contact you. Just apologize and hope for the best. Maybe buy her a small gift or something. Have you improved as a person by being friends with her? If not then that's something you have to work on yourself.

I don't think it was a petty fight, it was about one of her core traits. It's my fault for bringing it up honestly and I'm more worried for her than anything. I don't think she has any other friends left other than her ex who was an abusive robot that still messages her randomly to cause trouble. If she no longer wants to talk to me that's ok, I'd rather her be happy and stress free she has a tough life. I hope she can just forget about me and stuff, last thing I'd want is to cause even more trouble without being around! I made sure to apologize before we formally said goodbye so I'm hoping things go smoothly. If she wants to add me back in the future I told her I'll always be around but. I'm not sure I would buy her a gift, that feels weird and pretty beta even for me and I would never expect a gift from her or a friend in general either. I'm not sure if I've improved as a person but if I have it was because of her and her help and patience.

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you guys are ass holes. I have a friend with autism and I hate him. not because he has autism its because hes a fucking ass hole even though im nice hes always a grumpy fucking ass hole

and he lost his only friend

I can't speak for him but I try my hardest not to be. It still happens but I don't think that was the problem in this case? Don't talk to someone you don't get along with user

Sorry user, being an only partially functioning human being is really rough, especially when you're self aware of just how broken you are. Just give up on this shit though, normal people can't be bothered to pretend your just like them. Sometimes I wish I could just fully crumble so everyone would just leave me be instead of insisting I be more like them. Sometimes anyway.

I would give up but I can't, I'm incredibly lonely

That's what I thought for awhile too, a year into being pretty much completely friendless though, and I can tell you with sure fact that you do indeed get over it. After a long enough time has passed, regardless of what you think you want, your "need" to earn other's approval will fade.

sounds like you're a bitchy sack of meat with a high opinion of itself.

I've been friendless for years. I don't even want friends really just a gf if I'm being completely honest

femoids arent worth it

Well considering I can't be one the next best option is to try to be with one right? Also don't force the moid meme it's seriously reddit-tier

You could also try being gay.
>muh reddit
takes one to know one faggot

Never been on reddit, also I wish I could be gay but men disgust me. I feel like my life would get better if I could figure out the secret

Maybe start with anime traps.
On another note, try finding some friends so you don't message whatever girl you like 24/7, they actually do not like that

Nah man all it takes is me thinking about being intimate/lovey dovey with a guy to make me want to vomit internally. I'd sooner blow a guy than kiss him lmao. As for the friends idea I would but honestly I'm pretty introverted and don't get much out of friendship. I don't remember if I said or not but she felt like the first real friend I've ever had and one of the few people I've felt enjoyment from spending time with. I'd rather focus on trying to find a girl that is into that because they exist even though they're rare.

Well then user, good luck trying to find a unicorn.

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Thanks, like I said I've basically given up but sometimes the loneliness just overwhelms you you know? Good luck to you too user in whatever it is you're looking for in life.

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>sometimes the loneliness just overwhelms you
that's the exact reason as to why I made - a few - online friends
thank you user

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OP if you want we can be friends, do you have a contact of any kind?

>"girls like you more when you ignore them"

Think about the attention you give girls like a drug. If you give a girl all the attention whenever she wants it (also whenever she doesn't want it) then she grows used to it and eventually bored of it or creeped out. Similar to how you grow used to drugs and it starts to have diminishing returns. Don't outright ignore her but have other things going on with friends that are not her.

I'd recommend you read this thread fully first but if yo have and you're sure post your discord so I can add you and we can talk

Why would I withhold something from the person I love that she wants? I'd rather her tell me to shut up and stop bugging her than for her to feel unwanted or cheat on me or something. Maybe I'm trying to force my own desires on others I guess

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>Falling in love with someone just because they're nice to you
You realise that girls have to deal with confessions from people just because they were nice on a daily basis? And it gets tiring? That's why you get cut off. Because now you're just one of many others.

I made a female friend recently too, user. I worry about being too much of a sperg and scaring her off since she is very wary of robots. She says im basically the only robot she's spoken to over a long period of time and im good to talk to. We've shared a lot about our lives with each other and speaking to her makes me happy. I haven't really spoken to her much lately because I dont want to bother her plus she has a boyfriend now and probably doesn't want to waste time chatting online with some lonely robot in another country

what country are you from originallio?

America. She lives in Europe.

Well I didn't really say anything about it for a couple months but I was dumb and accidentally said it yesterday because I wanted to prove a point and wasn't thinking. I didn't want to make things weird and I did and I regret it.

I'm sorry to hear that happened to you user, don't give up you'll probably still be able to remain friends with her. If she really enjoyed your company then she won't ditch you.

>Why would I withhold something from the person I love that she wants?

There is a fine line between giving her the love she wants and being clingy and obsessive. Stop talking to other people and giving her all the attention leans towards the latter. Be with her when its important but spend time with other friends too.

Why is it that such a basic human desire is fundamentally unobtainable yet so hard to repress at the same time. Why can't I just be content with the fact that I'm always going to be alone? If I don't have the courage to kill myself can't I at least kill the part of me that still dares to feel?

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I don't really want other friends though. The only time I've wanted friends was to do activities I can't do solo like play board games or other /tg/ related stuff. Friends take a lot of energy for upkeep and I don't think I could really give them anything nor would they be worth the effort. I'm not looking to waste anyone's time or be a jerk. Anyways it's not like I'm going to force her to spend time with me 24/7 I have lots of things I can occupy my time with if she's busy/not in the mood to hang out.

I dunno user I also wish I could stop focusing on loneliness but the only way I can do that is by getting super immersed in video games or something. When they get boring or I take a break for the night the feelings come right back

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i can leave you my email if you would like to talk and feel less lonely.

[email protected]

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>don't give up you'll probably still be able to remain friends with her. If she really enjoyed your company then she won't ditch you.
I wanna be friends with her. Thinking about it, I was stuck in my own delusions and let my feelings lead my imagination. I sobered up after a bit and rationalized that my feelings originated from her being the only woman I told my darkest moments to and having her reciprocate with her darkest moments. The type of stuff you don't tell random people. We had actually stopped talking for a brief amount of time, but reconnected and continued to open up more. Regardless, even if she didn't have a boyfriend I don't think she shared the feelings I had for her even if I did tell her or, if she did feel something me, be able to do anything about it since we live thousands of miles away from each other.

Everyone messes up sometimes dude.

>It I can't even be a girl's friend how on earth am I supposed to find a wife one day?

Friends and partners are very different things. You can find a wife by making yourself more attractive and actively pursuing women. Not all marriages are made from friendships (a lot aren't).

I might take you up on your offer, but not at this moment since it's late as hell here.

thats alright, i should probably sleep too since its almost 4am and i have not been able to sleep well lately

Well if you were able to form a close bond with someone like that, you'll be able to do it again. Even if you two drift apart just try to find someone like her again in the future and hope things go better the second time. It's always easier to do something again than to do it the first time.

From my understanding having a healthy relationship with someone that will last a lifetime starts with being their best friend. Or at least that's what the success stories seemed to say a lot of the time. I was trying to learn to be a good friend so I don't ruin things if I ever get a real chance at finding a wife. I do actively pursue women when I have the energy to but the fact is I'm not really attractive like you seem to have guessed and I find it difficult to get any sort of motivation if I'm not doing something directly for another person. Thank you for the advice though user I appreciate it a lot

>tfw had female aquaintance (not sure if she'd consider me a proper friend but she more than a friend to me) back in high school
>tfw wasn't really interested in romantically, she was like family but not really and not as close obviously
>tfw still not interested in her romantically, wish we were still closer, haven't seen her in years
she has been the one of the closest things I ever had to a friend
she's happily married now so why bother contacting her, she doesn't need a depressed failure guy friend