Hypothetically...

The hypothetical is pointless. If you aren't attracted to your partner you should probably end the relationship and be honest. It's unfair to a partner to babble about some bullshit about varied libido you made up as an excuse. You're just not a match in that situation.

I'd assume a ton of people are finding themselves in similar situations these days due to the harsh economic situations where they might have no place to live and zero capability to pay rent without their partner.

You can consider that a form of "living beyond your means" if you rely upon leveraging the reduced costs associated with sharing resources with a partner or roommate. A proper way to handle the economics of such a situation is to always maintain the ability to afford your living situation without the benefit of the leverage and accumulate the savings elsewhere in liquid format. (A savings account, trivially liquidable investments,)

Unfortunately people are so stupid they get themselves into very uncomfortable situations and get pushed into corners on a regular basis.

>if you really don't enjoy sex most of the time
In the literature you'll find most females are still passive/non-initiating even when they usually enjoy sex, perhaps some men too, so this is another unrelated issue. If people *are* hurt by sex, they should break off that relationship.
>Either you need to find someone whose libido matches your own, or you need to quit taking your sexual frustration out on your partner.
I agree but you're shifting the burden away from the person undermining the normal expectations people consent to in romantic relationships. If you don't love (and yes, sexual desire and accommodation is a definitive part of romantic love compared to other types) the person as much as they do you, *you* should be the one to break up with them. Putting the burden onto the more faithful person is an inversion.
>kindly
Soi.
>Are you suggesting it's okay to rape your partner
Emotionally coercing ones partner into providing the normal and healthy expectations of a romantic relationship is not "rape" (though it is unhealthy/immoral on some level, again you completely skip the initial burden), since the partner can still decide for themselves. On this line of thinking any kind of inappropriate initiation could become rape, you trivialise physical assault and blackmail when you use this word for people merely asserting basic bodily wants, wants that when satisfied are conducive to healthy relationships and correlated with better health.

We never rush and she comes every time.

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Yeah, you're going to have to have a talk with her because clearly you are feeling unloved and unsatisfied. This isn't good for you or her. Is she distant in any other ways?

My gf is pretty much horny 24/7 and it's really hard to satisfy her. The big problem is that she has never had an orgasm. She's been trying to cum solo for years and has a lot of toys but nothing seems to work. I try eating her out but after a while she becomes too sensitive. It really sucks because I don't feel like i deserve to cum if she doesn't but she always insist that I do.

I have tried to talk before on different occasions. Initially I think her reaction was that I should just deal with it really. But last time it was more excusing herself, saying that it is just that she is stressed a lot of the time. I understand that but I feel that the context (e.g. stress) is not the point, it's that she doesn't work around that. For example, some people would just plan it, or try to turn it into an avenue of relieving stress. My feeling is that although these are legitimate excuses, they are still latched onto as a way to not have to do anything. Perhaps I'll convey this feeling next time we talk about it, if I can bring myself to do so again.

I wouldn't say distant, she has a lower threshold for intimacy contentment, therefore only initiates hugging if I have been distant for a while. Most of our "intimacy" is me massaging her regularly, that is the only thing she asks for (constantly, actually). She doesn't seem to mind spooning, perhaps not just as a vehicle to massaging even, but I can't be sure about that and understandably not all of the time.

I can imagine that sucks. Although my gf comes every time, I don't interpret it as an egoistic thing, because the literature suggests orgasm potential in women simply varies from woman to woman 99% more than it has anything to do with their partner/physical stimulation. So in a similar way, you shouldn't take it egoistically either, although I get it might be too easy to take something so personal in a negative way, even if it's irrational to do so.

user, that honestly sounds terrible. If I were you, I wouldn't be able to live with that lack of physical intimacy. I would consider having the break up talk since you guys seem to be very incompatible with the amounts of physical loving you each require.

..and at least you have her available 24/7 to make up for it, kek

Maybe it's stupid but my hope is that her excuses are just very accurate and once those contexts change it will be fine. Additionally, I would expect her to have the decency to break up with me first if it's really something more fundamental like lack of attraction or relative asexuality. I understand why breaking-up would be sensible for myself, but it would also be indirectly judging her as lacking such decency. And I'm not convinced about that yet.

I got myself a gf and moved in with her and since it was my first real relationship, and like 6th for her, there was no mad fucking four times a day phase (which she obviously had with her first guy), so I was basically just horny 24/7 for months, and we would fuck maybe once a week because "my libido is nearly non existent right now" with the culmination being fucking once in an entire month, and even that one time she said "I didn't even want to fuck." She told me she doesn't want to force herself to do things because then it would be like every other relationship she was in, and no matter how good the sex was she would feel the bad kind of used. Things got better recently up to the point of daily sex on some weeks, but it's still mega gay and I feel like I got cucked out of something very basic.

Literally just tell her everything in this post directly. Tell her what you're worried about, where you're coming from. Don't change any details. This is perfect.

If her having sex with you to make you feel physically loved makes her feel like you're using her, then there's something seriously fucked up going on. Like really fucked up. Worst case scenario is that she's in a "friends relationship" with you, where she feels like you guys make a good team, but she isn't actually attracted to you in a genuine sort sort of way. If that is the case, then that could lead to other serious issues.

IMO women only really get horny for or initiate sex with Chad.

I'd say I have a pretty average sex drive but I would feel pretty insulted if my partner rebuffed my advances frequently or acted like it's a chore. That's pretty hurtful especially if they didn't have any real reason besides feeling meh about it.

I'm an extremely affectionate person and need a lot of touch, cuddles, kisses etc. I don't think I could be with someone who didn't like affection or rejected my affection constantly. Sexual compatibility is important. If the sex isn't good at the beginning it's not going to get better.

I'll consider it (and no rush either, since it will be archived if I forget it). But why do you think that post out of all I've said is the perfect one?

I understand your point here but it sounds like you're excusing her as an individual and instead chalking up her behaviour to her partner count. For example, I imagine some women would have that new-relationship-energy for every relationship, not just their first. And isn't the more important thing how motivated she is sexually once such energy is gone? Did you only want sex for the first year or so? So motivation is more important, and it sounds like she lacks it.

Also sounds like she has very painful associations with sex, like suggests. If anything is cucking you, it's not the lack of NRE, it's the fact that you are missing out because of her previous boyfriends' abuses. That sounds incredibly selfish if she entered a relationship with you knowing this could be a problem, she should be getting therapy instead.

I have the opposite problem

I'm fine with getting my gf off but I don't really like her getting me off. I feel self conscious and bad at sex, so I just finger and eat her out lots until she cums a few times and gets too tired to try and get me to take my pants off.

I'm worried that she'll eventually pull me aside and want to talk about it. I hope I can just keep getting her off until then

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>But why do you think that post out of all I've said is the perfect one?
Because it's talking about what exactly is going on in your mind and not "studies show" type of stuff. You have to talk to her on an emotional heart to heart level.

I can massage your penis from time to time, if its unloved

You have to stop watching porn and possibly stop masturbating if you're doing it a certain way. Just keep practicing with her and eventually you'll be shooting huge loads in her and hitting all the right spots with your dick, which will probably make her feel more connected to you too than just getting eaten out constantly.

>IMO women only really get horny for or initiate sex with Chad.
The literature does suggest that most women don't initiate sex, they just react to initiation and decide if they feel in the right place mentally to proceed sexually, which is a process of making sure there are no potential negatives of doing so.

I've never heard of evidence that this changes changes based on their partner (e.g. "chad"), though. If anything, it sounds like their mental process is about clearing away all dangers or distractions, not specifically about their male partner.

>Because it's talking about what exactly is going on in your mind and not "studies show" type of stuff.
Everything I said personally ITT was like that. I only mentioned studies when talking to other posters about general issues, because naturally that's what you do when something isn't about your own individual case.

>I can massage your penis from time to time, if its unloved
n-no homo

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Sure, I just think it's a good post to base the conversation off of. Good luck man

That's how it feels sometimes but she's pretty genuine as a person and confesses even to things she realistically could just never talk about, so I would unironically trust her to tell me if that was the case. She has pretty low self esteem and that sort of plays into it I suppose. When we do fuck she's hella into it though, to the point where it makes me feel embarrassed by just being a poker faced penis in vagina hillbilly.

Well you should talk about about what she means by "feels used". Is that alluding to abuse or what? If you guys are in a long term relationship, then you have to get to a point where she stops talking like that because it shows that she doesn't trust you.

Used as in being physically objectified. Which is only hot when horny. Extreme masochists are weird.

What the fuck? Your girlfriend doesn't like being objectified by her own boyfriend? You do know that this isn't normal, right? Most girls love it when their guy objectifies them, gropes them, etc. It makes them feel sexy and lusted after by the one they love. If you don't believe me, browse the subreddits for relationships. This is normal behavior.

I grope her all the time, yea, and when we fuck there's pretty much no limits to what I can do. But when she don't wanna fuck she don't wanna fuck, that's it.

Alright, you seem pretty sure everything is okay. From what you've said, I wasn't too sure, but as long as you think everything's fine then it's probably fine.

It gets frustrating occasionally, obviously, but it's not a constant issue and I've learned to deal with it. It's not the end of the world.

>browse the subreddits for relationships
>see this: reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/btvu2h/i_f23_have_a_low_libido_because_of_my_meds_and/

>mfw this girl trying so hard despite *medical* issues

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