Dead inside

Dead inside.
Sometimes I think I hear you in my dreams, but I can't recall exactly what you sound like.

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You know where to find me. I'm always open to you.

Honestly. The only thing that gives me comfort, is while I'm sitting at home. Staring at the ceiling just wishing I had someone to talk to. Is knowing that none of you idiots realize how lucky you are.

Whatever happened to her?
She wondered off somewhere...

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Thanks for your contribution, truly.

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Should I try to get back in touch with them? They were a good friend and I didn't treat them as such. For some reason, I can hear their spirit whispering "leave me alone", but I don't know if it's real or if it's just me doubting myself. I need a sign if this is a good idea.

Maybe not the sign you're looking for.

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Bad sign? Do you sense a sign that points to bad idea?

Better to have tried and failed, than to have never tried at all. What's the worst that could happen?

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The worst that could happen is that I cause them anxiety or make them panic when they see the message. I don't want to hurt them.

There is always a risk involved with things. Is the potential temporary harm worth more than the potential reward?

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Reward for whom? If I'm being selfish, then it's worth it. But I'm trying not to be selfish.

Well, ofcourse it's a selfish motivation. However, if things work out for the better, maybe you can both find some comfort, even if it doesn't last long. If you feel you did this person, as wrong as you say. Then it's rather unselfish to at least explain yourself and apologize. Assuming you haven't already.

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You make a good case. I'll give it another say and see how I feel about it then. Thank you for your help.

Now tell me, what is your wish?

That's difficult to answer. It's just everything is so empty anymore. When something awful or bad happens in my life anymore, I can't even find the strength to care. Conversely it's the same even if the event is positive in nature.

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Then soon you will feel something very intense. I hope you're ready because things will no longer be the same. Your wish is granted.

I appreciate the wishful thinking.

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Drinking isn't something I do anymore. It does nothing but complicate the days after.

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If you don't believe in my wish granting abilities, then all I can do for you is give you the love of a stranger's words. Depression is something that has to be cured from the inside. When did you start feeling like this?

It's been years since I've had a significant other in my life. Though, I've been fortunate enough to have a few throughout my time.

There are two in particular who, I spent years with. Not at the same time. Both of them, I drove away with my stupidity. Telling stupid lies, playing dumb mental games. At the time I couldn't tell you why I was acting/behaving this way. It's just something that I automatically did like the world's worst bad habit.

After years of regret and pondering. I've removed myself so far from any social life, that I've lost connection to everything. Empathy, joy, sadness, whatever you can think of. It's simply a nonfactor to me. Everything is now empty.

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>Telling stupid lies, playing dumb mental games
That sounds like some sort of antisocial disorder if it's in your nature to behave that way. Have you spoken with a psychologist about this?

Yes. I've been to therapists and psychologists. One of the reasons I've made the decision to segregate myself from others is that I am just cause everyone around me misery.

Currently I take four different prescriptions just for keeping my mental state in check. It's hard to tell if they are really doing anything, anymore, though, because of the nothing that's become of myself.

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Good luck. Until next time

Until then. Farewell.

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Boohoo my gf left me. Get the fuck out of my board you failed normalfag. Go bitch about your life someplace else