Jow Forums feels pub thread

working in my university's lab so i guess things aren't as bad as they could be

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Just a vodka please, your choice, preferably strong. I want to forget the horrible things I've done

I want a night cap please some warm scotch would be fine.
I'm just falling apart again. No one will hire me because I got fired for hitting on a 17 year old when I was 21 and it's listed as in appropriate conduct with a m

me the usual, lately hasnt been great but got used to it

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Hello bartender! Can i have a cup of honey lemon tea? Bit tired today but other than that nothing going on much. Classmates tried to sabotage my senior thesis show but luckily i found a way to make it work. The more they try to bring me down the more effort i just pour into my work so i end up winning anyway. It's a good thing I find comfort in working.

(Why would they do that? We used to be friends til i went through a rough spell of depression and they all cut me off. They look at me like I'm garbage under their nose now.)

here, what did you do so bad?

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With a minor.
Sorry. Also I didn't even hit on her it was a misinterpretation of how I acted. Fuck man. I hate myself for not being normal for not being able to socialize for being a potato retard ADHD faggot. Why can't I be normal and have normal brain function.

hmmm, that doesnt sound good, have you tried giving an explanation to potential employers?

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Old Crow, please. I'm just trying to come to terms with my gender-questioning attitude as well as recently finding I'm pansexual. Shit's hard when barely anybody accepts you.

here, some people are just assholes for the sake of being assholes, likely they think you are weaker and feel like they can mistreat you

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oh thats good, does it make you good money?

here, what do you mean by gender questioning?

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I mean, I'm glad I still get to see both him and my mom, but I have to carefully avoid telling each of them about what I do with the other. I guess if you live somewhere for over twenty years no place else will ever seem like home. Even though I only live like 20 miles from there now, my dad's further east and my mom's north and west and whenever I'm on the interstate I have to remind myself not to take the exit I used to.

thanks for letting me sit around in your thread, btw, I appreciate it

They don't bother asking once they find out.
At this point I'm resorting to lying but background checks these days are so extensive they find out.
Lol guess I'm just fucked.

no problem, yeah its good you are on good terms with both of them

>Pansexual
Sounds like you're just another attention seeking bislut. Why do bisexuals always complain so much?
You get the benefits of heterosexuality 90% of the time and yet you try to get in with the gays and lesbians and say "hurr durr im just like you guys". Pick one.

I've just decided I wasn't meant to be a dude. I'm very feminine sexually and socially. I feel as if I'd be a better female than a male.

hmmm, consider working for some small shop/investing on your own, i suggest real estate, that should take care of it
hmm, i dont know about that

Well I should be flying back home soon. Staying in a shitty motel right now while I organise flights and stuff. Don't know what I was thinking coming here in the first place. Give me whatever as long it's strong.

here?
what convinced you to go there?

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I don't expect you to have all the answers. A pair of ears is nice to have as well.

but first of all, do you think people would prefer you as a woman?

Im at uni and my career is ok. I like it and all, but I was kicked out of the navy last year and rejected from the army. I stopped thinking about it cause it hurts so I've been focusing on my career, but the postulations end in a month and I'm unsure about trying for the army again. My career is good but I'd much rather be in the military, however I have a bad history and I dont wanna deal with the frustration again, plus it'd interfere with my studies.

So I dunno. I had forgot about it but my dad just asked me. I think he'd want me to try again. He knows I love the army and it sucks to not do what I wanna do. But my life is comfy at the moment, I'm good at what I do and it's so easy for me. So I'm between chasing my dream or resigning myself to a comfy life. Kind of a dilemma.

To the US. I came here to meet a girl I've been talking to for a long time. She always asked me to come here and I actually did it like a fucking idiot. I just want to go home.

why do you like the army so much?
would you like to make career in it?

I think so. I make sexual jokes often and I think it would make people more attracted to me. I've always looked up to cosplayers and female internet personality for inspiration. Could never really decide if I wanted to be with them or be them.

did you try and propose her there?
did it cost you a lot?

hmm, do you feel like you lack affection?
do you feel usually frustrated?

>did you try and propose her there?
No I didn't try to propose. I thought it'd be a chance to see if we could work together for real, I mean it made sense that we would seeing as we usually talk for hours most nights.
>did it cost you a lot?
It wasn't cheap but the money doesn't bother me. Just the time, effort and heartache.

I feel like in my friend group I could be easily replaced by anybody. I feel frustrated because barely anybody seems to enjoy my presence. The people who do are online and don't know me in reality.

Hello feelstender just a diet coke for me tonight, I'm trying to lose weight.

How long have you been covering for the other guy anyways?

and i bet being together in real life was completely different than online.
i have a suggestion for you, if you still have time to stay go somewhere else and try to enjoy your time on your own, dont let her ruin your holiday.
if not simply go home and take a bit of time for yourself

so you think being a woman would help with that?
ill give you a suggestion, you can easily change friend group but once you transition there's no coming back, before taking such an important decision try to frequent other people and maybe get a relationship, you might as well be sexually frustrated

It is so interesting to me. Everything else bores me to death, but the lifestyle, the adventure, the values of it, I like all of it. Everything else pales in comparison. I'd like to serve my country until I die.
I am not american so being an army officer is not such a shitty job. I dont get to go to some third world african shithole or to die shooting at muslims, it's a peaceful job with many guarantees and, in my opinion, no drawbacks. I dont feel like I'm cut for the normalfag life either. My strengths allow me to shine in the militar world while my weaknesses dont have much of an impact, but in a normal career my tolerance to pain, stamina, devotion and ability to work under pressure dont come in handy as often, while my lack of connections and networking skills are a huge drawback.

here, at this point like a couple of months.
can't really be bothered to change the header

You're right, but that doesn't change my feelings towards transition. But I appreciate your advice. These feels threads really help.

hmmm, i see.
then i suggest you to try again.
just curiosity but why were you kicked out?

Found out my gf has been cheating on me while I was away at a horse farm working my ass off. She's the only home I have besides here so i can't confront her about it without likely being left in the streets. Uni doesn't start up until September and I don't even want to look at her anymore.

Could be worse though.

how did you find out?
does she own the house, is there no way you could find housing without her?

I fucked off for a day without telling anyone. I was drunk and frustrated. I wanted to kill myself. Got caught before I could and then got kicked out. Was carrying a lot of baggage from before I joined, my navy life was actually great.
I've since dealt with my psychological issues and alcohol addiction, and got sort of a more passable explanation for when they ask wtf happened, but it's still the main reason why I might (and likely will) not get accepted.

i think trying is worth it, you miss all the shots you dont take after all.
what you did is understandable though.

>and i bet being together in real life was completely different than online.
You don't know the half of it. This is my 4th day here and it'd been going fucking awesome until today. Went out to get food and see some of her pals earlier, introduce me to them and what not. We got there and she spent the whole fucking time talking to her ex. I barely got a word in edge ways. I stepped out for a bit, went to grab a couple of smokes, came back and she started going off on me saying I was being an asshole etc. I drove off and she's spent the whole time now trying to call me and text me. I just can't be arsed with it. I've only been here 4 days and she's already acting a miserable bitch.
>try to enjoy your time on your own
Yeah I've been thinking about going out to a bar or something and just having a few drinks to unwind and maybe talk to some folks. There's tons of stuff I want to see and do and I already brought a bunch of money from home so fuck it why not.

she has secretive social media which I dont follow. She posts all about it on there and someone i'm barely friends with felt it was right for me to know.

And she doesn't, She still lives with her parents. Mine passed away when I was younger, so ever since I turned 18, I've been on my own trying to survive. She was and still is the only help since I was to finish uni and not give up on life.

By the way, these threads are god sends. It's some pussy stuff but it truly makes me feel better. You're a fuckin genius and a saint for this.

Heya pubman. Fireball and Dr. Pepper if you could.

I've been in San Antonio for a couple weeks now being forced to work with my dad, and I got a couple more to go until I get to go on my week-long trip to Minnesota with my friends. Now, as I've mentioned, I didn't want to go to work with my dad at all, but I'll say it has been a helpful trip for me, gave me a decent routine and a bit of time under the sun. That being said, I only agreed to this because I was under the impression I only needed to do it for a month. My dad...doesn't see it that way. He's constantly going off about "a couple more years of this and you'll be great" or "You'll be fine in a couple months".

I just want to get back to my friends, my shitty wagie job, my life. I'm happy I was forced to step out of my comfort zone, but I want to go back. I'm old enough (22) that I can make my own decisions, so I'm considering (once the trip's over) buying a ticket back to my home. My dad would be pissed, he'd give me a loud lecture about "You don't know what you're throwing away" and "you're never gonna find an opportunity like this out in the real world" etc.

Is that the right thing to do, though? I mean, I don't want my dad to think that I'm ungrateful for the opportunity, it's just that I want to go back to the way things were, where I'm comfortable. I'm torn between wanting to assert my independence and not wanting to burn bridges with my dad.

hmm, she seems hurt by it.
what did she say about her ex?
(complimenting or talking negatively of him)

Why did we let this nigger into the bar

Fucking pissed
Destroying it in the gym. Fuck all of you Jow Forums pieces of shit people
I dont need to be here anymore. I am tired of this fucking prision

I'm pissed. I want out of here

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man, thank you.
that sounds like quite a bad situation, no way you can get on your feet then confront her about it?

here.
ohhh i remember you.
tell him you appreciate what he's doing but you want to follow what you want to do, tell him its not that you have something against him but that you want to feel in control of your life

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It all takes time, Me working at this farm is trying to get on my feet. I just hate the idea of waiting to confront her. It's all survival now until I land a good job in my field which should only take less than a few years. Wish me luck brother.

They were talking pretty normal at first so I didn't care to be honest, not really a jealous guy. Got a little bit later and they were still talking in a private 1 on 1 conversation while all the rest of us were hanging out. Got even later and they were basically hanging off of each other, speaking in hushed tones. At that point I just left and went to smoke, bought a pack from a place down the road. Got back and we start arguing, she's saying that they're just friends and I'm being a jealous asshole and whatever. She started apologising as I was getting in the car and she's been trying to contact me since. Truth be told I've been drinking a bit since checking in this dump.

ok, anything else, something to drink?

do you think if you confront her not aggressively about it she'll still be mad?
honestly, call her.
that girl cares about you, its clear if she apologises then you know theres a chance

Whiskey neat, two shot, please

I am a smoker, fat, unemployed, bipolar, and live at home son. I plan on going to a music technology course so I can see if I can get a job in that industry. But it seems like just wishful thinking and dreamy.

i'll be honest, I don't know and I'm too scared to find out. Never had such a serious issue like this. It is what it is...

I miss how things were before meeting her in all honesty. It's not time wasted, just time that could have been spent better

is it that hard? at least you are getting an education

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I'll call her back in the morning or something. She doesn't even know where I am right now and I need to get some of my stuff from her place anyway.
>that girl cares about you, its clear if she apologises then you know theres a chance
Yeah I don't know if I'm too sure about that. 4 days in and she's already all over her ex? Odd way of showing she cares. I just feel so fucking defeated, what a fucking waste of my time.

did you consider she was trying to make you jealous?
women are... complicated... to say it in a kind way, if she really dint care she wouldn't have apologized, also see how she told you you were jealous like she was EXPECTING IT?

>mfw I wanted to be honest with her
>tell her where I'm going in life, and what I plan to do.
>tell her about my concerns around our relationship
>she takes its as an invitation to go and be a whore.

it's like I was right all along to have concerns.

it's happens to a lot of us. It's just how they are...

Is it any better if she is? If she's going to play this bullshit then I'll go home tomorrow. Because of her I'm stuck an ocean away from home getting drunk in a dingy motel room asking advice from random fucks on some basket weaving forum. What the fuck am I even doing with my life.

well, your gut feeling is usually right.
what did she do?

okay, ill drop the kindness
women are dumb at relating with people and despite how it seems they are basically constantly dropping spaghetti, they just dont get approached about it like men becqause they have a pussy

Bless you.

And I would love nothing more than to do that and have him understand, but he's not an understanding type. If he was I wouldn't be considering skullduggery and deception in the first place. He's very shouty and very stubborn, which borders on abusive if you get on the wrong side of him. My mom (they're divorced) is on his side in all this, which makes this even harder.

It's just...if I'm gonna get my life uprooted, I'd have at least liked some warning. He said in March that he'd give me a year to find a career, and two months later I get shitcanned back out here.

I'm gonna talk to my mom about it, try to convince her that I can live on my own (which, I shouldn't have to. I lived on my own with a roommate for over a year, I feel like I've proved myself).

Yeah I get that I guess. Just hard to believe any of this is real to be honest. Tomorrow is going to be so shit. I just want to go back in time and never come here to begin with.

hmm, thats not good, doesnt seem like the type to offer you a career, dont you think you could get emotionally close to him

I don't know. I'm just...I'm gonna talk to my mom. She's better at talking to him than I am.

He's normally a very funny, goofy guy but he can't handle being frustrated, it makes him angry, and I know my leaving would frustrate him to no end.

bartender, it's a lonely night. play some sad times music for me. here's a rare peepo for your troubles, don't spend it all in one place...

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Just vodka it's one of those nights where i can't get her out of my head

is the one on of your liking?
thanks for the fren

yeah, this is good. thank you.

here, was she that good?

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You'll be alright. We all have these kinds of times in our lives. You'll recall it fondly in the future whether or not you work it out. Trust me user.

Though i have work in 2 hours, gimme 3 glasses of White Russian and make it creamy on top. It's gonna be a shit week, as i work 7 days without breaks, because my manager is a cuck

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what job is it?
at least do you like it?

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No that's why I'm a fucking idiot she really fucked with me and i should hate her but i can't.

Unironically, a Bartender job. I'm put to work all week, because my partner got sick and this week is loaded with tourists, start of june and all. This will be a tough summer

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I'll be honest I don't really drink much and i shouldn't be mixing it with Nyquil but fuck it I'll take a glass of your finest whiskey. The last two days have been shit. I graduate highschool in a couple days and that's fucking with my head somehow I guess. For some reason I was missing my ex yesterday too. Its hard to sleep man. Hopefully in college i can have a new start for myself. Be better then i have been in highschool. Live more. But hey I'm kinda smiling cause my ex is crying for attention again and it looks like no one's giving her any. And the cheating whore deserves that and more.

wel if she was bad, its not your fall, she was a snake charmer not much else
at least its good money?

>at least its good money?
shit nah, minimum wage and i can't get a raise, so only way to earn more money is to quit my current job and apply for another with a high demand

well, you are better off without her while shes worse off without you, thats a win.
yes, colledge is usually better

Whatever's on tap, good sir.
Rpg user, if you remember me. 90% sure I'm unofficially out of the game at this point. Fucking hurts, really, having it put so clearly.

Lmao shes crying on social media about trust like the whore didn't cheat on me twice. I was a forgiving fool.

Yep, i remember you, you should just take the stuff you made and leave, remember my advice?

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okayyy peeps, im fucking sleepy, bar's closing down, see ya tomorrow

Yah man. Also can I get my drink please? And do you guys have anything to eat also?

I'm trying to figure out how to save the history on a google doc. I'm not smart with stuff like that.
I contributed so much that it felt like my creation, more so than almost anyone. It was my world and story, too. If it weren't for me and the other guy that left the game setting would've been actual trash. I put so much goddamn work into making the game setting good, to making a lot of the game mechanics usable. I was used, man. And it's only really hitting me now.

Yeah my dad always called it "character building" but I don't know. Maybe things will turn out alright. Right now I just want to keep drinking though.

Just straight fucking cyanide. As usual I feel like commiting an hero.

Is henny worth buying, is it as good as some say it is?

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