/britfeel/

Go find one on a street corner, best rates and they definitely won't give you AIDS, that's an urban legend

What are you doing lid? Quick rundown?

oi oi lad, here you go

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Doing it to anything degenerate or just vanilla shit?
>tfw you will never be his scottish friend
almost wish someone was so obsessed with me

It's best just to time it with the lunar cycle. Both men and women should expel their seeds at the same rate. Next full moon is on the 17th I think.

>Can't stop fucking wanking.
I'll make sure of that

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just fucking LOVE wanking lads.

wanking me life away. nearly pulled me cock off before

drugs are good m'kay
youtube.com/watch?v=_ybm4E3PjCE

Lightbulb went out yesterday not sure if the switch is on or off hope I dont electric myself

I'd say the worst about waging is everyone asking you where stuff is and then acting like you've raped them when you say it's your first day.

Ooohhhh I knooooooooow isnt it just laaarvly

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>mfw just got a warning from the mods
stick it up your fucking arse mods, this board is a cesspit of low IQ virgin freaks. there is no chance and 'quality content' will be found here. Now fuck off back to wanking over tranny animes you loser twerps.

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>violating GR8
Our janitorial friends won't like that too much

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>he's got a wanking addiction

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It's weird, lads. No matter where I work, there are never any women there. What happened to all this equality in the workplace and equal representation business?

>he almost pulled his cock off by wanking so much

they only get the cool jobs. I bet you're warehouse mong aren't you lad?

You're supposed to find out for them ya dingus

lad if you're not careful I'll murder your mother you understand?

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Of course. I'm a failure. All failures end up in warehouses.
There should be naked protests outside these warehouses demanding more women be employed.

They put a camera up colas boipucci

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Fuck roight off. I just told them sorry and said it was my first day and to ask someone else. I was too busy trying not to have a breakdown. I did help some old woman only because she asked me about something at the aisle I'd been stacking all morning.

How autistic is it go through my days conversations and see where I could improve?
I'm trying to get better at talking to people and hold conversations

I need some pussy

>I'll make sure of that
Bit gay titlad

My Polish neighbour in the flat below me has moved out lid. He must have gone earlier today because I saw lights on inside his living room last night.

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>Ive never ironed in my entire life.
And what great job do you have?

Almost 90% female at my law firm

splurged on a fererro rocher today. proper fancy

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>mfw trying to be a warehouse mong too
Women can play men so well 'becuz muh sexshual appeal' so get comfy office jobs or intern jobs.
>I'd make them all prossies if it were up to me
aha

I need some dick lads

You live in a council flat lad? How grim and dirty is it?

Dont let squishy bums distract you from work

I fucking hate my polish neighbour. She flirts with my girlfriend constantly, considering cutting the brake lines on her moped tbqfh

Same desu. You ever had one before?

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any of you lads ever sold vinyl records online?

Bet they don't even know anything and just man the phones. It's extremely easy to get a job answering phones if you're female.

Bet its got netted curtains covered in black mould

Only one, lad?
What qualifies a warehouse job? Today I was getting stock from the warehouse and bringing it to the floor and so forth, what do "warehouse" workers do? Bring the pallets in from the trucks?

[REDACTED] must be with a fat girl because he hasn't seen my snaps

>trying to set up internet banking on my new account
>what is a memorable date
>what is a memorable place
>what is a memorable fucking beano character
>quick make up a memorable 109 digit number
>makes me start the whole thing again if i don't do it fast enough

fuck me it's like an exam

no bought a full tub of them. scoffing them all right now. i highly recommend it

Most of them don't have nice bums lad, they're more likely to distract me with their incessant whining. Fucking bitches

Some of them have a "click here if you're a spakka" box and it prevents it from timing out

The NHS are terrible. When i broke my hand they done fuck all and now its kinda fucked. thanks for that nhs, well in, hand is fucked now.

Nope, and I'm surprised nobody has posted that before lol

Dont forget to add an uppercase letter, a lowercase letter, a special character, your left testicle, your mothers right eye and a a congealed fetus

Lad I work for an online banking company. Give us your long card number, expiry date, name on card and 3 digits on the back and I'll sort it all for you.

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couldn't find that on mine. probably because i'm a spakka

bank online

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Well no they're all in positions that actually require knowledge. Weird how thick some of them can be, it takes them fucking ages to learn something and they ask the same questions over and over again.

who's the bloke cola's shagging

Funny how the other poster had to add lads to make 'I need some dick' original

Women are practically guaranteed office jobs, and no-one expects them to do much.

Deposit yuan

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Nearly /LIG/ time boys.

HATE the NHS. With a passion. They are useless cunts that think you're after something for a devious reason. They are always so short and unhelpful with me. I'm as neutral and pleasant as possible yet they STILL treat us like shit.

>family member works for NHS
>reports there are frequent cover ups over misconduct including patient deaths
>also a huge nepotistic culture, especially with the Africans

Hate them so much lad honestly.

Lads how easy is it to cut brake lines on a moped? Or how else could I fuck with my neighbours moped?

It's not dirty lid, just a bit small. I'm looking to move out soon myself.

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When I was employed in an office I wanked in the toilets everyday so I cant really complain about other people's work ethic

Xi would give everyone a run for their money at chess, always 15 moves ahead

free though, better that than paying bare money for dogshit treatment

Picking stuff from shelves, putting it in boxes, sending it off to the customers. Unloading trucks, registering it into the system, putting it back on shelves.
It's the kind of job that they deem robots too smart to do. They would hire dogs and monkeys if it didn't violate health & safety procedures.

back from lidl, no pizza slices ffs. got some sosij roles nd chili crab linguine for later. got 8 ciders so i'll get on it tonight then start the getting prepp'd for moving ting tomorrow. lots to do desu. starting with cleaning the house

Checkmate opponents

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Also better than being a poor, benny fuck like 99% of the posters on here and not being able to afford private healthcare and dying slowly and painfully of aids

Wave flags

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Got a doctor's appointment tomorrow but forgot the time.

Its not free, comes tax payers wages

sorry mr mid to upper class

there is that, with the well known fact the private doctors are the same doctors you'd get in the NHS. Except you have treatment almost instantly for a fee, with a bit of pampering with it.

Plenty benders here lol

I reckon it's Zeus.
We know he definitely went to norf meet, and he's friends with yasin too, somehow.

Insert coins

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Oh you silly daft lad!

No worries I also live in a small, clean flat. You got any piccy wiccies?

named my stardew chap nah doh in honour of a poster from here. desu senpai onions

its fucking not pal, would rather gouge me eyes out wi a spoon then spend a night with that ET looking cunt

Give over m8, I live in social housing

I already forgot and rang and asked but didn't write it down and I don't wanna ring again.

>I fucked up my hand beyond repair and it's the NHS staff's fault for not bringing out their magic wands in time
What hospital do they clean?

Demolishing a pack of these. Best flavour they've done in a while.

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in bums?

Lads... just found out the giant's causeway doesn't actually connect Ireland and Scotland... feel like a bit of a wally to be honest.

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Did they use a condom you think?

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That was fucking disgusting you animal

Ya wally poofta! What a daft wee lad!

just fucking love wanking me cock and shooting me creamy muck muck lads

love pooing as well

simple as

tv lad and nado fren sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Very good taste lad
Big fan of 'em