People manage to find motivation to improve themselves

I think about my future blonde blue eyed wife and our 8 blond kids

No, it's bitcoin that's kinda the whole point user...

Developing an interest that requires me to do more. I started cooking which required me to make money so I could cook more interesting things, and I recently started drawing again which requires money to buy decent shit to make my shitty drawings look better.

>If you ever feel like life isn't worth living, at that point, you've lost, and coming back can take several months.
Fuck, this is me. Any tips on getting back? I've felt like that for about 10 years and even though I've sometimes gotten back on track on my own, it never lasts and I quickly fall back into my usual patterns. Sometimes all it takes is a setback and the negative thinking comes flooding back, e.g. "You can't do this", "You can never be good at anything", "There's no point in you working at anything if you'll never be good at it.", etc. I have nothing I can refute those thoughts with so it's pretty effective at utterly destroying my motivation to carry on.

i want to have money and to be able to indulge my fetishes

I stopped focusing on self-improvement. It's a ton of excessive pressure on yourself and you're denying yourself the peace of mind of being ok with how you are currently since the mentality of self-improvement involves never being satisfied with where you are in life.
Unless your life is an actual fucking disaster (Drug abuse, living in tons of debts or having mental illness that fucks up your daily), you really don't need to pressure yourself to change so much. All your life you'll be surrounded by people who question your choices, judge your habits and values and, overall drive you to question yourself, you don't have to listen to any of them unless you make the choice of listening. So I started adopting the idea that I can damn well take care of myself and make wise choices and if I make mistakes I'll own up to them and learn something. Of course it involves a bit of inflated ego to be able to look at everyone else and be "You ain't shit and you have nothing to say to me", but I've never seen anything wrong with bluffing yourself a bit if it can help you find a place of self-confidence. Since then I"d say I'm far far more productive and comfortable with myself and this has lead me to get myself a fwb.

Without pressure, you can live your life freely and in tge process of living it, you will naturally grow and improve so there's no need to focus on self-improvement.

Many years soul searching
Make tiny improvements in your life

Everybody always feels like they're destined for something better. If you don't have that, you have given up.

People who are able to self-improve typically only have mild issues and obstacles to overcome; plus an abundance of resources and support to help them along the way.

While others unfortunately suffer more grave complications like mental health, social debilitations, trauma, environmental conditions, cultural expectations, physical disadvantages, or maybe even genetic factor like is somewhat right about, etc. Which sadly makes achieving even the bare minimum and basics such an arduous and onerous task, that even with the best resources, the chances of getting better is little more than mere coin toss; and/or revealing of other issues at the line.

really different for people. for me, i just believed i had it worse than i really did and a good friend helped me to see how good i have things which helepd me feel better about myself and made me want to do something with my life

No clue man, I personally just felt like I wasn't human anymore. The only thing that convinced me otherwise was when I took the razor blade out of my shaving razor and cut my forearm. I did that for like 4 months last year. It's retarded and I absolutely do not recommend it, but back then I was absolutely convinced it was the only thing keeping me sane.
And when you're in the dark pit with nobody to hear you, and no light to guide you, I think anything that keeps you sane will help.

My days of optimism are very short as well. I've been in this shit for as long as I can remember. I unironically wrote and hid a will and a suicide note under some floorboard when I was 8.
Right now what I'm trying to do is just negate all those negative thoughts. It's really strenuous, because you have to consciously remind yourself to snap back with something positive every time your subconsciousness comes at you with a "You're shit". It's kind of working, because I can force a bounce back from sad thoughts in a matter of hours, but it's also really exhausting. Like sleep for 13 hours a day exhausting.
And whenever that doesn't work, I put up a picture of whatever drives me. Whatever exists that I couldn't pass on. Whatever I would have to experience before I die. Sometimes it's finding an apartment and looking at the pictures and the website that sells it. Sometimes it's used cars like pic related. Then I try to force though whatever is in front of me, no matter the mood, because the longer I wait, the further away I am from petting a dog from a Miata.

Sometimes I really wish somebody told me how all this shit works. And it really hurts that the only options are 1) everyone knows but won't tell you and 2) you're the only one going through this.
I still unintentionally daydream about being a hero, or giving a speech for my followers. Of course I have no followers and I'm a far cry from a hero. I'm just some robot that wants to be better.

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Wanting to be better is the single most important aspect a person can have. You are doing well all the time you hold on to that. I find a lot of people that have given up seem to view it as something worth mocking, or just as a bullshit claim because they want an excuse out of their control so that desire continues to be suppressed. The reality is that they just don't want to try.

Motivation is a false God, you need discipline. If you want something better for yourself you need to be willing to go through the discomfort of obtaining it. First thing should be getting off this fuckint board and stop listening to
Maybe you don't have it in you. Maybe. But that literally can't be proven by anyone, even yourself. So what you do just comes down to do you want a better life and are you willing to suffer for it. I believe in you OP you can do it.

I can get myself to do not do stuff fairly easily, like eating less or not masturbating. Actually doing stuff typically works in a cycle of obsession and then disinterest. But when I first started it really snowballed. It's really pleasing to do something and get to see the rewards every day.

"Self-improvement" sounds like such a vague and shallow thing, it's not surprising people aren't motivated. It's just about becoming another nomie NPC.

When you get an idea of a better life for you, motivation will come naturally. I go to work because I need money to buy property out in nature. I try to leave my apartment to go hiking and fishing because it's a nicer way to be. Life's not hard when you figure it out.

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Thanks user that's really positive. For a lot of us here, we wouldn't even be here and life would be so much better, if we only had somebody in our lives to tell us that every so often.
And discipline is a false shepherd that promises all the effects of motivation.
The way I see it, only something coming from within, a force of either pure willpower or complete obliviousness like suggests, can bring self-improvement.

>that quote
>look guys I am so authentic when I am just always do the opposite of what society sees as normal
>this really makes me really unique by blindly doing the opposite of things
>I am not one of you sheeple

Real blackpill right here. My parents are poor and dumb. No wonder I dropped out of CC and am currently a NEET

He never said anything about himself. Why exactly are you upset?

Knowing the commies are behind the destruction of civilization and all the propaganda to demotivate and destabilize people and that China has been at declared war with the West since 1999 when the People's Liberation Army published Unrestricted Warfare. Instead of getting sad I get more angry and productive with each passing day.

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The only thing that moving me forward is pure anger

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>lot of people that have given up seem to view it as something worth mocking
It's a defense mechanism, a way to cope with the fact that they have chosen to give up on themselves. Since many of these people tried and failed, obviously they would see the efforts others put in never giving up as futile and laughable. The reality is that far too many people in this world fail regardless of how hard they work.
Me, personally, I've always thought it was preferable to keep pushing rather than give up even if it's completely useless because at least it keeps me busy with something, but resilience is not just conditioned, it's also genetic.It takes tremendous strenght of will to keep pushing even if everything falls apart all the time so it's understandable that so many choose to let go on themselves.

You reap what you sow, you are what you think, you are what you repeatedly do, your thoughts become (your internal)reality

Change your mind, change your world. Stop making excuses, start focusing positively. Right now you are like a ship with a bad captain and crew, a crew that has no idea what its doing or where its going, you must install a good captain and hire a great crew.

JUST DO IT

What do you have to be angry about? Fucking nothing you exaggerating faggot. Kill yourself already. Fucking idiot.

I guess I fall into the motivated crowd. I don't know why really. I just figure I only have so much time here before I die so I might as well min/max my character irl.

Improve yourself in one specific way that is achievable for you such as practicing a language for an hour a day. Get used to that small change. Then pick another thing. Always go for the low-hanging fruit by picking the thing you are next likeliest to actually do. If something seems hard, or you avoid it because it makes you feel miserable, don't do it and pick something else.

Never have exactly one goal or dream in life. You don't have to kill yourself if you can't do one specific thing. There are probably ten to one hundred other options. Do multiple. Choose one at a time. If one thing goes wrong you will succeed at others.

It's literally genetics. I didn't do shit. I've always been motivated to do things. Motivation goes hand in hand with discipline. You either wait until you're fed up with living like you do and make improvements or you're born with the discipline. Anyone that says otherwise believes in free wil and aren't self-aware in any way. Annoying to see 'stop making excuses' when people can be genetically predisposed to being lazy.
Some people are cursed to be lazy and others aren't. I'm probably in the middle and I alternate between the two, making me realize that it isn't a choice a lot of the time. I either want to do it or I don't. While I want to draw or learn a language I just don't, even if I've practiced for years before. While at the same time I go to the gym a lot of the time because I feel like it. Deep down I enjoy making improvement. When I burn out on improvement and doing productive things I go into a state where all I do is consume media.
My ability to do an activity even if I don't want to completely disappears, even though I've done it many times before. My ability to even WANT to do it disappears, even though it was clearly there before.
This and discussions about free will made me realize that it's really something out of your control. So you either give it time and wait for an epiphany or just accept it. If you WANT to WANT to improve then that's a great sign that that will evolve into actual doing, but until then I don't know what to say.

Again, being lazy is something someone is predisposed to. Remove the idea about motivation or fault. These are social constructs and they only exist within society. Society is not the decider of fact.

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Eh. Motivation is overrated. Discipline is more important.
If you rely on motivation, you let's say, workout twice a month. If you're disciplined, you workout twice a week.
Also money.

I cannot live with the irritation of not being able to carry out what is residing in my head. So I feel like I have to try and constantly git gud with the thing I really want to git gud with. If I don't work on it at the very least I get trouble sleeping, etc.

Peer pressure to stop using drugs specifically nicotine and THC

I'm just not a little bitch - and if I don't want to do something hard (workout, socialise, go to work) I know that I should definitely do it. Get the ball rolling even when it's shitty and then it feels okay once you're getting on with it

I don't really have that motivation. The few things I do that would count as "improving" myself are things that I genuinely enjoy doing. For example olympic weightlifting, guitar, brain games/puzzles, taking care of my surroundings.

Probably just raised by good parents and given the right opportunities to grow

Possibility of change, mostly. Do nothing and nothing will change and anything is preferable to continuing in this state.

If I don't learn everything I can learn I will look like an idiot to others.

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I read damnation of pythos

Free will doesn't exist and there's no reason to believe that it does. I think the only reason we even think free will exists at all is because of the identity our ego pushes. Expecting somebody to change with no sort of input is like expecting a computer to turn itself on with nobody pressing the power button; our brains work on input > output, and if your brain isn't wired to get motivated by certain inputs then that's fine. It's tough luck, and it's not like it makes everything better, but nobody can tell you it's your fault.

You get into the almost religious mindset of sacrificing for self improvement. So there is a celestial being, rule of nature, whatever you want to call it. When you delay gratification this being/law of nature rewards you. Our ancestors wrote about it a lot and it is the center of most religions. The more you sacrifice pleasure (not fapping, staying up late to study, working out) the better rewards you get in the future (gf, money, job). So learn to embrace that feeling of pain, knowing that if you give enough pain and torment eventually you will do well. Every drip of sweat you shed in the gym is an offering to Brodin, god of gainz. Every time you put down the onahole and pick up a book you better yourself. Eventually it will come back to you as blessings, paid for in sweat, blood, and toil.