The doctor will see you now

What's brings you in user?
Low self-esteem? Obsessive tendencies? Generalized anxiety?
Let's see if we can take a look at that

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I have a chronic case of tfw no gf and no amount of beeing myself and just lifting bro seems to be working.

Okay, Doc. I'm going to be really forward with you.
I'm not bad looking and have good benefits and a guaranteed paycheck as long as the U.S. remains a country and the Marine Corps exists. Literally the girl who marries me gets to have help with her college and our child's if we have one and a free government paid housing and medical to boot.
I just can't emmotionally connect with people in a romantic way. I push everyone I get close with away and I am fine with that. I am so used to being cold and alone that I know nothing else.
Also to add onto that sexual encounters make me uncomfortable, Some buddies took me to a strip club to see if that could fix me, but I stopped a stripper halfway through the dance and let her keep the $30 so as not to cause a scene so I could just leave
Doc I literally don't know what the fuck my problem is, if you can answer it I would be much obliged.
I've self diagnosed a bullet to the head when the pain gets unbearable, but I trust you have a better solution.

You should reevaluate your need for a gf. It's entirely possible to still feel lonely while cuddling your perfect gf. Being single doesn't make you a less valuable person. Lift for yourself. Be yourself for yourself. Find meaning and solace from within yourself.
I know these just seem like cliche platitudes user, but I want you to really think on them. Cliches exist for a reason after all.

I have a gf deficiency and a high levels of autism, what do I do, doc? how much longer do I have left?

You think you are a loser and are afraid of rejection

Doc, i'm gonna be straight, I'm suffering from stress in my heart triggered by seeing shit threads like these, and I think I'm going into cardiac arrest.

Gonna level with you buddy, I've had similar experiences. It's difficult for me to open up with others. It could have been my abusive childhood when I had no choice but to emotionally shutdown when stressed, but now I have a really difficult time communicating to anyone in any emotional/vulnerable way. Thankfully, science has shown that the brain is way more moldable than previously thought and we can train ourselves to respond in positive ways to situations that we find ourselves uncomfortable in. You're going to feel fake at first but responding is positive ways is going to reinforce those neural pathways and make them stronger until it becomes second nature.
It's not uncommon at all to feel uncomfortable sexually. It wouldn't hurt to look into some self help techniques, especially cognitive behavioral therapy.

Like that other user, you should reevaluate your need for a gf. As for the "autism" you don't need to label your personality traits as discreet mental illnesses. You might just be a socially awkward person and that's alright user. Lots of great people lead amazing lives while still not being great is social situations. We're all good at different things. That's always something you can work on and practice if you'd like to change that about yourself.

Throwing around labels isn't constructive user. Take that projection elsewhere.
I'll stick my finger in your pooper to trigger a prostate orgasm and release some of that stress.

I attract people who hurt me, not to mention distant peeps and ones with diagnosed socio/psychopathic tendencies. I've had so many short failed relationships. I'm tryna work on my confidence and self esteem and depression and anxiety issues, so it's not like I'm constantly seeking out relationships. They must happen. I catch feelings for someone and then a day later find out they like me back and accept the relationship for fear of missing out or pushing them away. Its been bad for me doc. Idk what to do at this point, I just wanna find the right person for me and settle down and have a simple happy normie life. I don't wanna be a robot forever.

I'll accept dying alone when I'm 30, for now, it's not an option. Are you even a real doctor?

>Warehouse I worked in shut down
>company transferred me to a factory and I hated it
>Made a stupid decision and quit without having another job offer
>2 weeks unemployed 3 rejections from different jobs

>Depressed and anxious

You still have time to live your life AND stumble on love. However, despite what Hollywood would sell you love isn't a prerequisite for a happy and fulfilling life. You're going to be a different person with different values in the future. Make it a good one user.

Additionally, if you feel like you're in a rut try forcing yourself to take a break and find confidence in being by yourself.

You got time user. Loving another person before being able to love yourself is a recipe for disaster.
n0pe

in summer 2015 I took a DXM trip with no tolerance. it was just under 900mg. I smoked weed too with no real tolerance to that.
DXM had a knock-down effect on me after the comeup. everything about life started dropping out and what was left was sparks and lights.
and then for at least 10 to 20 seconds, maybe longer, I was gone like a baseball that got knocked out of the park. just gone. I saw only a flow of purple. there were eddies and waves tumbling over themselves like a big river with crests of white.
for me it was life in unbelievable detail; mesmerizing, tranquilizing, flowing away.
and there was this feeling that I knew something was gone that I had almost forgotten, like finding cat hairs on old coats a decade after I moved on from the cat's death. remembering in this way usually feels really good even though it hurts a lot, but while tripping on DXM pain was gone.
it just made me remember life is something that I love so much. it's full of wonder and I just want to tell people "look at that" because it's really something else.

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I'm normally depressed and stuff but I'm hung up on my inability to join the military even though I'm succeeding extraordinarily in my life and academic career, even getting accepted to the best worldwide uni for my major.
I've gotten too wrapped up in fantasy and escapism I think, fretting over how I'd never be a knight and etc. Its stupid and autistic but still makes me feel like shit.

You're a freaking Marine, dude? That's cool.

>3 rejections
I hate to sound like an out of touch boomer here kid but you've got the internet at your fingertips with dozens of local jobs you would be a fit for. If you're worried about an "employment gap", don't. a few weeks or even a couple months isn't a big deal, especially with blue collar work. Get some help with your resume. Then it put in everywhere. You can always change your mind later or even quit if you really don't like it.
But the real key is knowing someone. They don't even have to be that close to you. A neighbor you barely talk to is fine. Try striking up a conversation and mention that you're looking for work. Lot's of people know someone who's hiring and a good word from someone puts you at the top of the hiring list.
Remember that you're valuable and need to market yourself as such.

My penis is too large and I pass out when I get an erection.

I'm waiting to hear back from my dad's work, hoping nepotism will help me. If they don't want me I'll go all out and apply everywhere.

No it's not
Trust me it's not a fun job

I'd say you're already pretty well along helping yourself. Check out cognitive behavioral therapy to get a better idea at how your thoughts can effect your emotions, and how to control them.
Kudos user.

I want to join the Canadian Reserve because there's a regiment close to my home and I want to change jobs. Since I don't have much friends I think I could make some over there but I'm afraid it will take all the time I have this summer and make it impossible to go the the only events that bring me pure fun. So it's either I keep my shitty job in a libanese grocery store and I get to enjoy my summer or I join the reserve and I have a fun job but I don't get to enjoy my summer. What do

I'll need to see this penis, for medical purposes

Who said I hate myself?

Thanks doc, you a real one.