How was your day user? I genuinely want to talk.
How was your day user? I genuinely want to talk
i got paid, but work was hell and im this close to getting fired. Not that I actually care since I almost have the money I need.
Yours?
It was okay, I get my paycheck tomorrow. Why are you close to getting fired?
Horribly stressful. Found out I made a major fuckup yesterday, had to work alone for hours dealing with customers because of poor scheduling by he manager, I got disregarded by the qt I'm trying to woo, and when I started playing comfy vidya to chill out my village went full retard and half the population died of starvation while food rotted on the vine (Banished).
And to top it all off, somebody destroyed most of my coke so I have very little to mix with my rum. How was yours, OP?
What was the major fuck up? Also mine was fine, went to work and came home. I was just tired. Also in need of a haircut.
actually im not sure, but apparently I havent been delivering in their quantified expectations. But the actual reasons are ultra retarded, like for example, the way I formatted a text on an archive I had to file. In any case Ill resign in 2 months anyways so its not important. Im just really tired of it.
Money to do what?
Im off to sleep now, good taste in manga btw user.
Woke up early for a change and went for a hike with my dog. Had a cooked breakfast and worked out. Visited the cemetery. Had dinner and I've been drinking since. Weird day. Feels like it's been dragging on.
I've done nothing but play Minecraft and browse Jow Forums for the last three days. I graduated last Sunday and now I don't know what to do
Ah. I've been rebuilding control of my temper, and just overall patience. Menial work can stir you crazy.
I let a counterfeit $100 slip by me because there was a lot of customers waiting. I don't know if they'll fire me or not, but it's a pretty shitty feeling and I've been worried all day about it.
I went golfing with my dad and my aunt this afternoon.
It was a nice fay at least, but it's been raining a lot recently so the course was soggy. I can't hit a ball straight, as usual. My dad is kinda putting up with my aunt. She's always been kinda curmudgeonly (she was the principal of a Catholic school for like 20 years) but she's been getting even worse in recent years. And I think my dad is still kind of broken up since my mom divorced him, even though that was years ago. He has a few friends but seems kind of sick of seeing them. My aunt seems the same way too, actually, apparently they just want to see me. I hope they haven't realized that I've been drinking every time I've seen either of them for some time now. Alcohol makes it easier not only to not beat myself up over bad shots on the golf course, but to just kinda go along with whatever it is that either of them says.
you don't have to pretend to be interested in my blog if you don't want to, user. I know its stupid shit.
Good night, and thanks orgination
I didn't do shit but think about how much of a lonely retard I am and how my friends don't really feel the same way about me because I pushed them away by calling them out for their shit.
But I've got no one else besides from those retards.
move to canada for better paid basic job opportunities for my lame ass
I wouldn't worry about it, it's happened to me before
Highschool or university?
I did this when I was younger, you'll learn to never do this again. Also, adult life is just lonelier in general, something you're gonna have to deal with.
We are all worried about stupid shit after all user. But as far as I can tell it seems they both need you, do you feel any pressure? is that an issue?
(English isn't my native language so I might have misread something tho).
My day's just starting. Woke up early before work, just getting high then it's shower time then walk to work.
95% sure I'm getting fired on monday so these next 2 days are potentially my last shifts.
Nah its not stupid, that sounds like a rough thing to be going through. What do you drink?
I can't help it. I'm the kind of person that overthinks everything and stresses about everything. Plus all the other stuff building up on me, and moving soon. I still need to buy a car too. There's not enough money, time, or motivation. I'm not good at my job at all and I think they regret promoting me.
It was alright, sunny and warm. Watched some anime. Read a book.
My life would actually probably be pretty /comfy/ if I just had a deadbeat friend to hang around with. If I ever move into a large enough place I'll put out an advertisement for a live-in NEET.
Thanks, I'm sure I'll get around it, I have to.
Im kinda tired of loneliness, but I barely have time for myself, I cant even hope to mantain or try to attempt a relationship. Why the fuck wasnt I born rich.
It's not really pressure. Pressure is intense, short-term. It's more that I can see both of them slowly getting worse over the years and I don't think I can do anything to stop it.
Whiskey, at home, generally cheap stuff. Vodka in a water bottle when I'm out, always cheap stuff. It tastes like paint thinner but you learn how to keep a straight face after a while.
You definitely will. You have to keep positive. not in a perky or dumb kind of way, just in a way where the negatives don't start overtaking your life. Things get much harder when you do that
I'd let someone sleep on my carpet desu, as long as they were friendly
Its almost time for me to goto bed but I spent a few hours at the corner of an almost empty walmart parking lot turn from sunset to dark. Its relaxing, but more importantly just quiet. My parents turn the tv all the way up because theyre getting old so I like to get out of the house after work at fast food.
It would be really cool to find someone else in texas who just likes to watch birds, ducks, or the sky for a few hours but I think im just a weirdo, the closest social thing is physical activities like camping or hiking which isnt relaxing.
Maybe you could start with friends first. You don't have to commit as much
Went out with my support worker and bought some cheese. A well matured Gouda and a deliciously sharp blue vein cheese. It was our weekly outing. Also had a McChicken combo. Now I'm winding down the day with some Stella Artois. Might play some csgo later or start the new season of Black Mirror. Real comfy day inspite it being cold and overcast, or maybe because of it.
Yeah, it's hard to see people having bad times when you know the problem really lies within their perception but you really can't do anything about it.
I would try to make them feel a little happiness while they still can, maybe they'll end up understanding that this is not the right way, but if that ends up not being the case at least you did the best you could for them.
But I'm sure you already have thought about this by now.
That's some pretty good advice, thank you. I know I can still make things better and so I will.
Nah I love sky watching
I clearly spent too much time here, I will reduce a lot my time here from saturday on
Its easier to replace this with something else rather than abstaining from it. You don't go online much when you're too busy.
I had a lot of fun playing vrchat and interacting with other people. I genuinely enjoy hearing about other people's days and talking to them about it, but people seem to just condense it was too much and say they did nothing. I'm also kind of worried that I'm annoying people because lots of people say they hate small talk, and asking about your day is the most smallest of talk. Hope all y'all other robots are doing well.
Sometimes we just have to learn to love what everyone else does.
It's not about losing identity or something, It's about learning to enjoy just being alive, and from there, If you look hard enough you might end up finding someone who actually understands and shares your thoughts and In the meantime, why don't you befriend yourself?
That's what I've been doing at least, I'm always thinking about different ways of looking at things.
I haven't found it myself yet, I am a weirdo too, and I haven't been able to get rid of this lonely feeling, but I still like it because it reminds me I can feel.
Maybe I'm just a faggot, a lonely faggot, but not a sad one.
Saw a snapping turtle.
I think it's the other way around, people think their day is not important, boring, they think they might be bothering you if they told you so they don't.
Or at least that is as much as I've seen.
Did he snap at you?
I had so much fun on vrchat the one time I tried it and made a friend but at the same time I cant bring myself to go back, makes me anxious. but I think its really cool that it exists
I feel exactly that. Im lonely, but im not a sad one. It just feels that in the age of internet and social media and connecting everyone I cant think of a reliable way to find someone near me who just wants to chill out for a few hours and doesnt think its awkward to have long silences, and wont see it as boring or a waste of time if its not funny.
Nah I love talking to anons about their day, it's only hard when you don't have any commonality with them but usually you'll have at least something in common with your fellow social rejects.
I guess I can definitely see this. I sometimes just feel like I'm wasting people's time even if they initiate a conversation. I really want to know when I ask people though! Don't want to hastle them too much about it though. So if they don't give me a clear answer I'll just ask again with different wording and then leave them alone if they still don't really respond.
I usually just tell people I did nothing if questioned irl, but that's because you can't really tell people that you spent the whole day playing video games. I should probably be more honest to avoid the very thing I'm complaining about, but it's hard not getting embarrassed about this stuff.
I love vrchat so much because it's basically my only daily form of social interaction. And I like spending time with people when I'm able to talk to them. I initially started it as a way to try improving my conversational skills, but I've found I can't really make myself as free in conversation as in VR. So I constantly come back.
I definitely get anxious occasionally and sometimes won't get on even if I want to. Or I'll get on and just listen to people talk and not really talk myself. I also find if a friend messages me and tells me to get on I'll be much less anxious hopping around with the friend. I can be your vrchat friend and maybe help you play a bit more if you'd like. No pressure though, just an offer to think about.
I don't really think you need something in common. You just need to be able to comment on something they say about their day and from there it's not terribly hard to navigate into a basic conversation
I feel the exact same way. It seems like everyone is so invested in laughing instead of just smiling, does that make sense? and of course I'm not saying it is a bad thing but, when are supposed to have a deeper connection with people then? silence and pauses are essential in forming a deep, thought provoking bond, but doesn't it seem like no one is interested in anything like it? maybe they are, but they don't know any better, maybe they haven't tried actually opening themselves up to think, feel and relax, they don't have the time or they haven't really thought about it, they are ok with having fun... maybe there is a way to show them this side of us and maybe they can show us what makes them laugh.
But how? I wish I knew.
Honestly I'm probably speaking nonsense since I'm half asleep.
I think we, everyone, don't take ourselves as seriously as we should, we make ourselves as insignificant as we can be to our own eyes, maybe that's why we have such a hard time opening up to people, because we can't open up to ourselves in the first place.
Yea im just on r9k right before bed too. Its 11:03 and I have to get up at 7 so im going to sleep soon. I wish I knew too, but it just seems to be social expectations. Good night
I lost my recent friends just isolating myself for a little bit so it would be nice to talk to people again. Could you post your discord tag or something similar?
I asked the cute HR girl from my last job if she wanted to get lunch and she said that she would love to. I was really anxious about it, I tried to send the text for literally 20 minutes, I almost couldn't make my hand hit the send button, but I finally did and she said yes. I'm still really anxious that I'm gonna fuck something up but at least she said yes
No he just stared and then walked to the woods.
Shitty went to my friends funeral and the rest of my "friends" all hung out together afterwards and didn't invite me
I guess if I could somehow spin playing vrchat for 6 hours into being a productive member of society I'd be more likely to talk about it irl. Although that's not really opening up to people if you're just kind of masking your thoughts. I'm not sure if being open and honest is a good thing anymore.
I know that feel when you don't really seem to have anyone to talk to. You can reach me at Slain # 1sixseven4. This invitation really extends to anyone if you'd like to try talking a bit on vrchat. A bit of text chat is fine as well but I'm not the best at keeping up with them.
Okay. Started out good.. Made good progress on my project and did a long run.
But, then I got home and burnt my finger and got food poisoning. I feel like shit right now. Just shitposting on Jow Forums and listening to music right now.
BTW, what manga is that screenshot from OP?
I have no friends. My parents are working shitty jobs while I leech on them so I can afford to go to college. I worked all day and when I finally had a moment alone I realized I'm completely alone and I always will be. I'm just so frustrated and I'm so tired of feeling this way. I don't want to die but I don't want to live.