i wanna find the right person for me. i think im a rational girl, i always try my best to be. i can admit when im wrong and apologize and talk about my feelings without blaming.
but i also hate myself and have really bad issues with depression, anxiety, intimacy and abandonment. it's hard to open up to people or trust them (not with being loyal, just with being around them and opening up).
aside from neckbeards who hate women, i dont think there are many guys left who actually wanna marry a girl who wants to be a housewife/stay at home mom. with my mental/psychological issues, i dont think i could handle the stress of a real job. i want to be able to stay at home and just take care of my family.
im in therapy and have been for years. im trying to recover and get better but i feel so stuck where i am. im also waiting till marriage and that has fucked over a few relationships for me (guys whove left me bc of it).
anyone else know that feel?
I wanna find the right person for me. i think im a rational girl, i always try my best to be...
If a guy like me who accepts everything you just said for who you are, then there is at least a hundred more who think so too.
Don't give up.
Even if this is a LARP, it seems to be a hidden cry for help.
How do you expect to find someone to support you if you can't even support yourself? Rationality is nothing if you refuse to take action.
Why would neckbeards who hate women want to support a NEET woman to live in their house with them?
This is a cry for help and this post saddens my soul. How old are you?
im sorry i didnt mean to sadden you. id rather not disclose that im sorry
i am taking action though. i went out and got myself a job, ive been having breakdowns bc the stress of not performing as well as i want to is giving me extreme anxiety. im in therapy, i do my best to talk to friends and do things i enjoy. i get my ass out of bed and go out with friends when i can muster the energy. i am really fucking trying here.
i appreciate it dude. i hope i'll come to find that youre right eventually.
Ok, here's something. You shouldn't invest emotions into your job. You go there, you get out, and then you get your check. Your priorities emotionally are wack.
Can't tell you shit about friends, I've always been fine alone.
i can't help but want to do well. i also can't really get the check if im not doing well since its commission based work.
I just can't trust niggas for shit
that's it
>Commission-based work
You sure you aren't underaged? Extremely suspicious now.
Just stop caring, it's that simple.
Please be my gf. I will love you unconditionally
no im not underage. just out of school atm bc i couldnt handle it and the hospital program didnt help.
maybe you would. but that would just be to fulfill your own need to be loved and not out of genuine love for me. you dont know me and have no way to know if you and i would even get along. i appreciate the sentiment but don't think it really works that way.
Fuck man, this is just sad, maybe it's because this month I've been extra sensitive but I just wish I could hug you and magically convince you it's going to be ok
Hope you find someone, and I'd suggest you throw the wait till marriage thing. I'm not saying you could fuck a stranger, but if you know him for some months and you like each other and want to be together then do it
What do you like to do, OP? As in what brings you joy? What do you usually do during a typical day?
what brings me joy? hard to find many things. but i like to play with my younger sister, watch shows, play video games, and play with my pets. i love baking and cooking but finding the energy for that is really hard lately.
i appreciate it bro, and if you're going through a rough time, i hope your luck turns soon
You must have been through a lot. I don't know if I can say anything to help you out, but I hope you do find someone who will.
Please be my gf, you can stay at home and open up to people at the time of your choosing
>depression, anxiety, abandonment issues
post pic while covering your eyes
Ok, that explains more things. Sorry.
Your energy is presumably being robbed by your emotions. I don't know the right way to fix it, but I know that I just ignored it. I didn't bottle it up, but like I said, I just shoved them away.
Just imagine that you are on this hill, and you are making progress to the top. There you'll be the best you. Just remember that everything is working, and that you are improving. There isn't a short term way of solving mental issues, but you can't finish if you stop.
thank you femanon, I hope it does
my cade wishes you good luck as well :3
>fucks chad
>"omg why did he leave me"
>goes on r9k for pity and support
What have you baked recently? What shows and vidya do you like?
Those are pretty noble things to like, as anyone in this board can relate to them. But tell us about yourself OP.
thank you guys, it means a lot.
what an adorable kitty he or she is. im sure they're a wonderful cate.
i made some chocolate chip cookies earlier this week actually. my specialties are pancakes and cookies. ive been trying to finish jjba and hxh, and they're both really great shows. other than that i like off humour dark comedies. i know it's a normie game but i play a lot of league, and other than that i like puzzle and rpg games. i know this is probably just to get me out of my stupor but it's working and i really appreciate that.
Just answer one question for me. Are you a cuddlebug?
While your dreams of a family may not be visible at the moment and the hurt seems endless; the time will come at some point. Focus on yourself and try to keep your head up.
Well, are you thinking of baking something this weekend or someday soon? Maybe you could try something different and have fun messing it up.
Do you like to read, or have any hobbies other than baking and vidya?
i hate being touched by people i don't know or trust, but yes im very physically affectionate with my close friends and sister, who im close with.
thank you dude. im usually able to but this month has been hell and it hit me hard tonight.
i have left over cookie dough so yup! i wanna bake the rest of it tomorrow. i like to draw and do other things with my hands like sewing or making bracelets. i like audiobooks more than reading since it's hard for me to stay still long enough to really read something.
What made this month particularly bad?
What kind of guys do you like, op? Would you be open to date a guy who was depressed and antisocial? (but not the cute shy kind)
adjusting to a new job, breakup, i had a week long period in which i had terrible dyspnea and would be up till like 4 am bc i couldn't sleep bc i couldn't breathe, one of my exes an hero'd, along with my depression generally getting worse. i know it's not a lot. it's taking a toll on me though.
Oh shit, thats a pretty hectic month. Hope you feel better, op.
most of the guys ive dated have been. he'd just have to be stable enough that we're not weighing each other down. not bc i don't accept guys with bad depression and the like, i just know how terribly it can ruin a relationship when codependency happens and the sadness of one triggers the depression of the other. in terms of my preferences though, just not too much older than me and kind. nothing beats a good heart.
;u; thank you.
As a general note though, thank you really to everyone who responded and for your support. even the one guy who missed the point a bit, i hope you all have great days and lives and i know im a softie but i want to cry (happy overwhelmed tears). y'all have made tonight a lot easier to get through.
Im sorry to hear that. Always remember that nothing can stop time and hurtful experiences end at one point or another. I wanted a family and had someone I was in love with and cared about alot. I got cheated on while I was deployed to Iraq and have never been the same. Went to counseling, tried all I could. In the end my trust issues left me without friends and im still trying to get my mental state back on track. You said you had friends, so keep them close and talk to them. I wish I still had people to lean on.
Ive tried to open up to people but I just get cheated on or abandoned. I'm a 30 year old virgin aspie and I've pretty much accepted the fact that I deserve to be alone because I either won't try or I'm just a boring loser.
I feel stuck too, moving from home for this job. I should feel lucky to have anything at all, but I just feel stuck. Family is hundreds of miles away. And I'm too dysfunctional to go meet people or find friends. I'd just be boring to them anyways.
I don't know if its worth anything, just take care of yourself. Even if you feel trapped. Its better than falling back down into feeling useless. At least I'm good at my job, I guess, but I'm lonely.
it might not be much that i can offer, but if you ever need someone to talk to, anonnohi is my kik. i know how scary opening up can be, but im a stranger, which might make it easier. im also really sorry that happened to you though, that's terrible... i believe in you though user, we'll get on the other side of this eventually!
it's hard coming to a point where you can still try even after being hurt a lot. but i think that's something important. i don't think anyone is a lost case or anyone deserves to be alone. i find it's often the kindest people who are the loneliest. i may not know you user but my gut tells me you're a sweet guy who doesn't appreciate himself enough. the first step, i know, is coming to terms with yourself and learning to love yourself. once you get that down, it's easier to go out and make friends with your new confidence. i'm still working on that myself, it's a process but it's possible!
Hmmm, I see. Would you be interested in dating another guys, or is it to early for you?
Thank you user I appreciate it. If you need a shoulder while the hurt passes I messaged you.
i think it doesnt hurt to get to know some people, but i want to make sure i'm fully over my ex before going for someone else. anything else would be a bad idea and emotional disloyalty ;u;
I secretly dream of meeting a nice white girl who just wants to stay at home and raise my children to not be degenerates. There are more decent guys like me out there for you than you think, each of us perfectly willing to put up with a moderate level of crazy to get sex, housekeeping, and child rearing.
That makes sense. You wouldnt happen to live in southern california, would you?
nope, im a canuck lol
>emotional disloyalty
that's retarded
find a nice guy and make yourself happy
based
oroaroaoroaroaroaroaororbhgghfnennerny
It's good that you stuck to your guns, those guys who left were going to leave after they used you and got tired of your shit.
The guy who is willing to wait is the one who will stay by your side.