/britfeel/

You should get Dr Fren to write you a sick note for stress

>Mayuri comes into the surgery
>Mr shekelberg has been working him like a cotton picker
>Complains of frequent headaches and depression
>Wants me to give him a sick note
>Give him a lethal dose of morphine instead

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Maybe try going to bed earlier you mong

Currently waiting for the "sorry I won't be coming home this weekend due to my chest infection" message from the girl I've arranged a date with.
Similar thing happened 2 weeks ago which I posted about. She says she's interested and I believe her, just gotta keep waiting.
Maybe the doctor will have let her go and she's already on her way back or even here? I hope that's the case, she hasn't been online as much as she usually is so the flight is a possibility.
I really like this girl already, she's extremely talented. Speaks 4 languages fluently (English, French, German, Japanese), plays piano and violin, educated at a Swiss boarding school, does kendo, muay Thai and other martial arts, is taking classes at cordon bleu in Paris to become a better cook and to top it all off she's very attractive. Fantastic personality too, really kind, slightly introverted, funny, interested in the world around her.
I was sceptical that she was real at first but we've video chatted. She's too good for me. I hope I can meet her at least once.

5 languages, I forgot Norwegian

Got up early this morning lids, getting a full English brekky wekfast from the cafe then off to watch the new X men film.

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Is she Norwegian herself? Seems an odd language to learn, although French/German/English makes sense for a Swiss boarding school

No she's half Japanese half English, runs the Oslo branch of her company in Oslo where she stays during the week.

>using a chest infection excuse twice
She isn't interested in you lad, take the hint

payday next week. I think I'm gona make it lads might treat myself to somthing to celebrate

Going home from uni today, me dad decided to pick me up a day early so I've been up until now packing and cleaning my shit heap of a room, gonna catch 4 hours kip then I've got more packing and family talking at me. I do like them, but I'm gonna be dead.

As for me I'm going to splash out on some JAV porn for the weekend

you pay for porn? is it worth it?

What's everyone spending their bennies on this weekend?

I'm gonna buy a kebabby wabby tonoiiighhtt ladsssss

First time she was staying for work, asked to rearrange and didn't hear anything back so took it she wasn't interested. A week later she's in touch again asking why I haven't spoken to her and we got chatting again, arranging the date for this weekend.
We've spoken on the phone a bit, more than someone who isn't interested would, she has been ill since Tuesday and hopes to be out and back in the UK. She's really opened up to me and told me a lot of personal things that I won't repeat.
I don't know why a girl who wasn't interested would do that, unless it's an elaborate catfish who starts asking for money for flights.

I've done an all nighter waheeyyY!!!!! I didn't even think about wanking once :) Very productive night on youtube catching up on the sidemen and all my vlogsters!!!!!

Why don't you get a job instead?

Only when I absolutely can't find it for free anywhere (which is rare) or if its an absolute gem and I want it in the best quality (again rare)

>is it worth it
I won't pretend there haven't been times I've bought something only for it to be disappointing, but I don't mind supporting the JAV industry regardless. I'd never pay for western porn

Well best of luck to you. If you've found a legit half Japanese gf who's successful and smart then you've got a real unicorn on your hands lad, don't let her slip away

fair enough I suppose the industry wouldn't exists 8f there wernt people paying for it

Don't be jelly cause user is living the best life. Today I've woken up at 7am to get a headstart on the day. Gotta finish Sekiro and Breath of the Wild. If I get all tuckered out from vidya I've got some TV shows to catch up on.

This has been my life for the past 5 years, now get to work and pay me my neetbux

youtu.be/ULWRuDzHmoA

I'm pretending to be a DJ listening to this

And then there's me who wouldn't pay even 1 quid for the highest quality JAV porn around. It's amazing how humans differ like that.

Oh I'm sure you're in the majority lad, I'm just a masturbation connoisseur with some disposable income. Like I say it's still pretty rare for me to actually buy stuff

is 250 bong too much to spend on the gf? Going on a trip and want her to come with me but she's skint for the moment. Would I be a beta fag to pay for her?

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Thanks. I wish it would work out but it feels like I've already lost her.
I'll keep trying.

Very good user, really nice DJ skills! Everybody is clapping along

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Depends how serious your relationship is and whether you can afford it. Make it her birthday present.

>to spend on the gf
Fuck off out of r9k you pleb.

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Think death grip has ruined me. Was getting a blowie earlier and I couldn't cum. Seems that wanking 3 times a day isn't healthy.

just about to order a big maccies breakfast, only for ubereats to tell me that i am too far away
I ORDER MACCIES ALL THE BLOODY TIME I AM ONLY TEN MINUTES DOWN THE ROAD I AM FUUUUUMMMMIIIIIIIIIINNNNGGG

Not really, the beta fag would depend on his girlfriend to pay for everything. Don't let her get used to it though, try and get her to pay for things occasionally too or at least go halves

lordy gib sauce

lad, my heart's racing after that.
can feel it pounding in my ear.
give me a sec to catch my breath, will be going in again, but with more imaginary knob twisting and crowd hyping.

What you lads having for brekku? Can't stop thinking about a lovely chocolate doughnut

Thinking of buying a New 40" TV today. When I've posted my 32" TV before people say it's incredibly small.

Might replace the bedroom carpet too, otherwise most of my wages are being saved for a new car, was also thinking of a holiday sometime this year, probably Italy or maybe just Bournemouth

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exhausted but have the house to myself for the next 4 hours and dont want to waste it

Hmm, why only 4 hours? Almost all my hours are by myself. Why don't you just leave everyone you know so you have more hours alone?

I hope you're not planning on buying a brand new car out the showroom lad

*eats the last chocolate donut in the /britfeel/ canteen*

Nah I meant a replacement car, sub 75,000 miles and 12 plate or newer

YOU FUCKING TWAT I NEEDED THAT MY MACCIES BREAKFAST DIDNT COME RAAAAAAAAAAA

>why only 4 hours?
mum gets home from work

As part of my community service I will be spending the morning building a library of instagram thots. I hope this is sufficient in producing value to society in the face of my refusal to find work.

will you upload it somewhere with links to the profile pages

Are you colas bf?
Where you taking her?

Thanks lad, the cataloguing of THOTs is an important endeavour. I look forward to the publishing of the Magna Carta LiberTHOTum

i am fuckin BUZZIN for E3 lads. i will literally be watching all the conferences due to my sleep schedule.
anyone else gonna be watching? i will be posting here regardless

youtube.com/watch?v=LvdLovAaYzM

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I used to do this every year lad but these days E3 just isn't what it used to be so I usually don't bother staying up and just watch highlights. I'll at least watch the PC Gaming Show and the Sony one

Oh, no. 90% of the fun is posting it on Jow Forums and ignoring everyone who asks for sauce. Nothing gets my cock harder than denying anons source.

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wtf I didn't know Eminem took this. wtf Eminems is so much better

what the fuck do people do with the sauce anyway not as if theyre going to talk to the slags or get anything out of it

It's all about CONTROL and POWER from a dominant ALPHA like me. I dish these out to you plebs like dog treats. I can't let the dogs into the food cupboard, they'll fuck everything up.

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>It's all about CONTROL and POWER from a dominant ALPHA like me. I dish these out to you plebs like dog treats. I cannot let the dogs into the food cupboard, they'll fuck everything up.

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please stop slagposting I'm on a bus and don't want the bloke behind me to see

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Dont resent you in the slightest lad, I would do exactly the same given the chance. Sadly muh aspergers is not severe enough to cash in on those bennies

He who controls the flow of thots to Jow Forums controls Jow Forums itself.

There's a war going on around you that your beta brain can't even perceive. Like an ant to the 10 lane highway above its head.

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sorry lad i'll stop posting slags just for you

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Giving up and going to bed. Will lay in bed and think about what to spend my 700 quid on. Suggestions welcome

pizzas for all of britfeel

>Dont resent you
Oh not so fast user. Let me tell you about my most deplorable trait of all. When I am eventually forced into work I intend to complain and protest the idea of benefits all together. I will do as much as I can to ensure that shit stops. I'm not giving money out of my well earned paycheck to scroungers like me.

I told you already you prick, use 350 of it to buy a nice bicycle.

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from an early age I knew I was destined to be a lifelong virgin lads

uWu wats dis? ;3

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I was raped by a mature escort.

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Got a new job starting Monday, I only started applying for stuff on Wednesday.
It is in a call centre like, so I can't be too smug.

what about the seethers who hate anons eating pizza?
Too scared. Would end up crashing or something.

SHHHHHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!

Don't let everyone know how easy it REALLY is to get a job...

2, based purely on that foot pussy

Eh?? Who the fuck is crashing a bike in 2019? Just go slow ya dick ed'

I usually struggle desu, I'm surprised.
Getting a friday call for a monday start suggests they're desperate, so it probably was nothing to do with me.

hope it's not at vodaphone with poley

I'd love to work with poley, she's funnier than most of the pond life in call centres.
I'm at EE in Newcastle though, so it won't be.

saw Poley in a field the other day. I tasked him what the fuck he was doing there and that he was a nonce but he just whinnied at me .

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>two days of poops with no blood
#blessed

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Trying to build up the courage to finally get my hair cut today lads. Been wanting to get it cut for 3 months now. Too embarrassing to go outside with how long it is at the moment :(

Wish it was winter so I could wear a hat.

I do my own with hair clippers

Do you just take it all off like a buzzcut? I may have to do that

just go, no one cares how you look. i had my hair down to my hips until weds now it's only shoulder length

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I used to but I've got better with them. I can actually have it longer on top and make it look like a normal hair cut. Definitely worth doing if you hate the barber, saves me a lot of money too.

it's wank o'clock

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I'm too hopped up on ADHD meds to have a wank lads. I made the mistake of having coffee, I just forgot for some reason :( I can't go out like this for fuck sake.

Even my vision is shaking

*no clips behind office*

this doesn't look quite right

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Alright that waist to hip ratio might be perfection.

>350
>nice bicycle
Want a full suspension mtb to rag round trails but they cost 2-3k

That's impossible on your own. How do cut the back

*no clips behind self*

Two mirrors
t. Cut my own hair sometimes