Alright Jow Forums, sit down and shut up because I'm about to tell y'all a story. This is a story about how I might just be the biggest, most pathetic cuck ever. No greentext because this is mostly me venting. It's been bothering me for weeks, and even though I've talked to multiple people about it already it still bothers me. I'm not sure if telling strangers on the internet about my problems will actually help but here goes nothing.
So the story begins in late January. I'm in my last semester at Uni and for the past couple years I've been making an extended effort to break out of my shell and be more social. For the most part, I've been successful. I have more friends than I ever had before, I actually attend social events and I have a core friend group of about ~7 people and many more acquaintances. Last year I also started exercising regularly and eating healthier. My grades have also improved significantly. In general, I've just gotten more confident and my life is pretty good.
One of the people in this friend group is a girl who I met last year in late October. I actually didn't really like her at first, but over time slowly warmed up to her and we eventually became friends. Then one day she recommends this show on netflix to me. I don't really watch netflix that often since watching tv alone is kinda boring. I ask her if she wants to watch it with me and she agrees. So we start watching this show together and eventually we start cuddling. Over the course of a couple days the cuddling gets more intimate (she puts her head on my chest while we both lie down, holds my hand, etc.)
This goes on for a couple weeks. Now I may have broken out of my shell a bit, but deep down I am still a coward, and so I am too afraid to try and kiss her or go further physically without consent. So instead I decide it's better to just tell her upfront how I feel. One day I just tell her that I like her and wanted to know if she wants to go on a date sometime. Her response? She's just "not emotionally ready for a relationship right now." Ok, that's fair. In her defense, her life was really chaotic and in hindsight I probably asked at a bad time. She's in her last semester too and really struggling both academically and financially. And her home life isn't great, she's being raised by her single mother who is kind of mean and abusive (verbally).
So anyway, we pretty much stop hanging out entirely for about a week, until one day she asks me if I want to come over and watch netflix again. So I say sure, head over to her place and we almost immediately start cuddling and holding hands again while we watch netflix together. Now at this point I'm honestly just confused and not sure what to do. I'm too afraid to make any advances because she told me she's just not emotionally ready for a relationship, but at the same time she really seems to want to be intimate and close to me, but never TOO close.
We start to hang out *constantly.* For the next six weeks it feels like almost every night we're just cuddling and watching netflix. I even bring up some old DVDs from home and start hosting movie nights with my friends, but it's really just an excuse to cuddle with her and she and all my friends kinda know it. One night she even falls asleep while I hold her in my arms underneath a blanket, and it's honestly one of the most intimate moments I've ever experienced with a woman. But, eventually she wakes up and she decides to go back to her dorm and doesn't want to stay the night.
In the meantime, I do a lot of really nice things for her (not expecting anything in return because I'm not an asshole, just because I genuinely care about her). Things like buy her food, go to her club meetings to support her even though it's not really a club I care about, drive her home for spring break, etc.
So this goes on for like six weeks, and then one day she... slowly stops asking to hang out with me. We still hang out sometimes, but only when I ask her too, whereas before it was about 50/50. And she's also making up excuses for why she can't more and more often. Around the same time she suddenly starts being extra flirtatious with another friend in my group, and during one movie night opts to cuddle with him instead of me. And now I am really really confused. So one day I pull her aside and basically ask her what the fuck is up. I tell her she needs to tell me very directly and honestly how she feels about me and she says "I'm really sorry user but I only see you as a friend." So I tell her if that's the case then I can't be so physically intimate with her anymore, and she says ok.
Now I'm pretty damn hurt, but she keeps hanging out with this other guy and flirting with him and being physically intimate with him in front of me. Now normally I would try to just avoid being around them entirely, but we're in the same friend group so its kinda impossible if I want to hang out with my other friends. So I texted her and ask if, out of respect for how I feel, she could 'tone down the PDA.' In response to this she immediately goes off on me. She calls me 'possessive' and 'jealous' and says that I have no right to control her or what she does with her friends. After this fight, I decided to just kind of ignore most of her texts, and in retaliation she ghosts me completely. She sends me one final text that "we can't be friends" and that "[she is] done with me and all this drama" and then blocks me completely.
So now I can't even hang out with my friends in a group anymore because it's way too fucking awkward, and I've basically lost a lot of the social connections that I made over the past couple years. And since then whenever we pass by each other she would just kind of give me a nastly look and turn her head and refuse to talk to me. Eventually I learn from a mutual friend that they are fucking, but according to him she says its 'nothing serious.' And then by the end of the semester I learned from another mutual friend that they've started dating.
So that's it basically. One day I think I may have actually found someone who likes me for who I am, and the next day she's fucking somebody else and won't even look me in the eye. I truly do hate myself, almost as much as I hate her. I thought these people were my friends but they consistently lied to me and made me feel like I was the one who was wrong. Another thing that's really fucked up is the guy knew I had feelings for this girl but decided to pursue her anyway, and then they both lied to me about the extent of their relationship consistently. I think I might be the biggest cuck ever and I've been extremely depressed since this all went down about a month ago.
I'm mostly just trying to vent desu, I'm not doing this for anyone's entertainment. I know my story might not be as interesting or ridiculous as some of the other stuff here but why does it have to be?
Chase Price
skimmed through and all I can say is, serves you right getting baited by 3DPD
She gave you more than enough hints that she wants FWB and not a relationship, you should have fucking realized after she said that she doesn`t want a relationship and then she kept being physically intimate. You`re a fucking retard for asking for a relationship again after everything was laid out on the table for you, if you weren`t stupid you could have easily gotten a fuckbuddy that would have eventually transformed into a relationship, what obviously happened with the other guy. This was such a straightforward situation that it`s hard to read, you`re really fucking dense bro holy shit. She stopped hanging out with you because she wanted dick and you wouldn`t give it to her without a relationship that she obviously didn`t want, I don`t blame the girl at all honestly. Retard.
It's not his fault he didn't know; "friends with benefits" is a pretty unusual kind of relationship. It sounds more like she was deliberately deceiving him for whatever reason.
Dominic Morgan
Youre retarded and its all your fault. The problem with robots its that most of us fall in love with the first female that treats us like human beings and arent scared of us
Easton Powell
>friends >had sex
normal niggers deserve all that they get desu
Mason Barnes
>next day she's fucking somebody else
this is every girl out there user. very few exceptions, it's just deeply impressioned on them to be this way. also most can't steer their feelings, very rarely do you find someone who's compatible with you but it's more often than not going to be lesser attractive girls by the usual standard good luck though don't lose hope
Jason Rogers
I would have been ok with that but I was afraid to ask because I've never had that type of relationship (and deep down I really did want a relationship and not just some FWB). Also, there were limits to how intimate we would be. Like I said, after I told her how I felt she would always push me away slightly if I tried to get even closer, making sure we didn't get *too* close, and I assumed that was because she didn't want it to progress any further than it already had, so why would I assume that she wanted to be FWB?
Nolan Rivera
whoops, forgot my trip.
original
Ryder Ortiz
>you meet someone unstable >you get a bit close >you express your interest >she declines >you go back to being close instead of backing out (wtf?) >she starts dating somebody else >you aren't happy you're off the hook (wtf?) >you drop your friends because it's a bit awkward to be around her instead of being happy with tbe friends you have left (wtf?)
OP, please explain what the hell are you thinking? Be glad you didn't end up with this drama generator and start seeing your friends again ffs. Tell them it's been a bit rough on you with her not wanting you but you don't want to let that bother your friendships. They'll understand.
Grayson Wood
>Have a plethora of opportunities to make a move on this girl >You chicken out EVERY time >Girl finds other guy in friend group that's willing to make a move >You get jealous because he did what you couldn't >You wait too late to try to claim control, she calls you out on your shit >You ignore her, she gives you a taste of your own medicine & ignores you back even more severely >This results in you cucking yourself out of your social group You deserve it OP
Tyler Nelson
Yeah I know she was unstable as fuck and it's a blessing in disguise to some degree, but it still hurts. I'm lonely ya know?
Also, I didn't lose all my friends, I just didn't hang out with them in a group anymore when she was around so really I only lost like 2 friends at most. You gotta understand that this was like, the last month of my entire college career by the time this happened so I basically decided to just focus most of my energy on finishing.
I still talk to quite a few of my friends from that group.
Aiden Wright
>Tell them it's been a bit rough on you with her not wanting you but you don't want to let that bother your friendships. They'll understand Judging from how this story is coming off & the power dynamics of this group, it looks like the girl has influence over the friends. It's her word against his, so OP has likely fucked up self from ever interacting with this other friends again unless the girl exits the picture.
Liam Parker
this is NOT what happened. see Basically, I tried to get her to stay the night with me a number of times but she would always say "nah, I think I should go back to my room and sleep." What am I supposed to say? "hey, I know you said you aren't ready for a relationship and keep pushing me away when I try to get closer but like, what if we just fucked??" I probably would have gotten slapped.
Noah Cruz
>still has his friends Good! I was a bit worried there because I know how that stuff makes you feel like you shouldn't show your face anymore. (Why ever that is?) Also I know how being led on feels but probably the best (even though hardest) way to deal with it is to keep going as if nothing happened and be open about your feelings towards your friends even if it means admitting to having been a bit stupid. It can actually grow those friendships.
>Judging from how this story is coming off & the power dynamics of this group, it looks like the girl has influence over the friends. It's her word against his, so OP has likely fucked up self from ever interacting with this other friends again unless the girl exits the picture. What are you on about? You read all of this from OPs brief mention of his friend circle? To me this sounds like resentment and resignation. I think you are making this into something it is not and by projecting drama you are secluding yourself and helping your perceived enemy.
Mason Bell
You need to take claim of your friends OP and convince them to ditch those two. The girls a drama whore and the "friend" didn't respect your boundaries, cut them both out and hang out with your other friends
Jace King
Because then you won't create a complex like you're a main character and everyone is your fucking personal sounding board. Literally nobody cares, so venting is pointless, and won't make you feel better. Good job wasting time writing it all out anyway
Carson Watson
so guys is this story worth reading or nah? I'm not gettin good vibes here.
Lincoln Johnson
It's not really. Just a vent.
Adam Bennett
long story short >op has the most banal, minor, physical connection with a girl >it probably never meant anything at all >op creates way too much static in his 10iq mind to focus >girl does what girl does best, smash incel feels and hook up with better mate >despite seeing this coming, user still sad
Justin Bell
I don't think this is good advice, my friend. Firstly this drama doesn't concern OP's friends. They likely don't want to be involved or forced to take sides so trying to do so will give him a disadvantage. Secondly women (especially from unstable families) are usually good at drama and robots aren't so this is like trying to beat her on her ground turf. Thirdly if it comes to lies women are often better trusted than man. That's why I am certain making it into drama gives OP critical disadvantages and is likely to make OP lose those friends. Being a good pal towards other friends and being a positive asset to his friend circle, strengthening his social bounds, is the best way to take a man through bad times and win the favour of his peers.
Dylan King
It's EXACTLY what happened. You waited too late. And by the time you tried to make your move, the other friend already secured her. Hence her excuses not to hang out with you & "cuddle" anymore >Projecting drama Nope, this is what happens when emotions get involved in a friend group comprised mostly of guys & 1 female. The guy that strikes out & fails with the girl gets alienated from the group because the female no longer wants him there.
Grayson Scott
>Nope, this is what happens [...] OP says he is still involved with his friends so I don't think this is waht happened.
Joseph Martinez
Exactly. Blogposts on here do usually tend to be fucking boring. This is no exception.
Hudson Thomas
I think I actually shot my shot too early. She wanted something casual, so once I asked her on a date it was over. There was nothing I could do at that point because she was probably too afraid of leading me on. Of course, this was all in hindsight.
>this is what happens when emotions get involved in a friend group comprised mostly of guys & 1 female
The friend group had 3 girls in it and 5 guys including myself so this doesn't apply. Also, alienating myself from the group was my choice. The couple of times I did hang out with the group after this all went down she was a complete bitch about it, like greeting everyone with a hug and then not even acknowledging that I was in the room.
Jacob Hernandez
I don't think you're a cuck OP. If you were to still try to date her despite her dating one of your "friends" then that would be cuckery.
You just had a crush on this thot and trusted some people that were backstabbing filthy liars. Of course an experience like this is very unpleasant, but that doesn't mean you should hate yourself for it. Now you know that most people can be really nasty and disgusting people. So keep this in mind and be critical. I don't get why you would hate yourself because a thot rejected you and started having illicit sexual relations with some nasty faggot??
If you feel you have some sins on your soul go to confession
The funny thing is that this other guy wasn't an "alpha" by any standards. Everyone in the group was a beta nerd, we all fucking played D&D together, which is how we became friends. The only things that he really had over me were that he was a lot taller, played guitar, and knew how to cook. Meanwhile, I had a car and he did not. He was also fairly overweight and I am not. Other than that, we were pretty similar.
