/britfeel/

Off for a poo poo lads.

Forever our Queen of Hearts

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i wish viva pinata 3 happened. Anyway, anyone wanna watch Heathers with me tonight? Just got it on bluray. Also grabbed some Star Wars black series figures for 3 quid each

I just had a poo poo after eating 6 packets of Hula Hoops and it came out of me like wet socket from a washing machine.

poo bum willy
poooooooooop

No, it's stochastically induced. So the more you smoke the more likely you are to get it, however it's completely possible to get smoking induced cancer from one cigarette and never get cancer from smoking 10 packs a day your whole life.

Whereas other things are deterministically induced e.g. sunburn, once you cross a threshold intensity of light then you will get sunburn

had a poo earlier that was about 10 seconds of silent fart followed by a cork poo that blasted into the bowl

alri cancer prof

hula POOPS amirite
kill me
for I am
death

Sometimes comments on here get a genuine belly laugh from me but I don't tell the poster because I don't want to satisfy any of you limey cunts.

hellfire
calm your tits mate

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Feeling sad about how badly I used to treat an old girlfriend of mine lads

Measure floorplans

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pls tell us more
was she pretty

Hehe
Nah just had to learn this for a radiation protection module.

did you stick a finger in the bum?

We're all cunts at some point lad. Just gotta accept it and be a better person.

My optician just went mental lads.
He asked me how long I'd been wearing them and if I even knew was my prescription was and I was like "nah I just guess".
The guy like propa kicked off at me for fucking ages saying it was irresponsible and all this shit and buying contact lenses online from "dodgy sites" is illegal. He acted like I was buying them from Empire Market or something.
He does know you can buy contact lenses from Amazon right? lel
I'm guessing he just wants me to fall for his Jew scam like the last optician I went to years ago who just threw my lenses in the bin after he was done looking at them because they were "old" even though they were brand new.
Didn't know eye tests were such serious business, don't fuck with opticians man.

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There was a lad here the other day who mentioned head tingles and vitamin D under his foreskin.

Just wanted to let you know I repliated your experiment. Before sleeping I put a vitamin D tablet under my foreskin and when I woke up in the middle of the night I noticed it had already dissolved into my dick.

When i woke up my head had the same sensation that you described, kind of like short non-painful electric shocks. More annoying than painful.

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High street opticians have criminal markup

She was and is even more so nowadays. She has had a "glo-up" as I believe the Gen Z folk say

I m a better person I just remember things I said and did to her and it boots me right in the soul

What the fuck. What would possess you to try that?

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For the non-chavs among us

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>vitamin D tablet

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l feel the need
The need to breed

What do you mean? I take vitamin D everyday anyway and this guy was talking about a unique side effect so I gave it a go

Is there anybody here who has genuinely never had a black friend?

I'm asking as a white boi who went to a majority black school in L O N D O N

how far back does the archive go

You should try wanking with a banana skin lad. you would be my hero.

wheeey lads. me ol' emperor in CK2 only went and became a saint!

SCEA grow up pal ffs

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around blacks, never relax

simple as

was it saaaaaffff landan mate

Yes, i have never had a black friend. My brother is friends with a fat gay black guy and sometimes i make a little bit of small talk with him. He is alright but quite loud and a bit sassy, not sure if i would count him as a normal black lad because he is gay

disappointed in you scea tbqh

What the fuck is wrong with that freak

Just leave Tim alone

oops posted in old thread
wanna play diablo 2 with me? i'm currently stuck on duriel he's 2fast4me

No, North London.

If he's gay then he's not black that just basic geometry.

I swear scea said he'd order Tim a pizza one day so

post SCEA's face again
the juxtaposition of his numale face and his chav attitude is hilarious

i have no idea about any area in north london at all. when i try to imagine it all i get is notting hill carnival, Camden and Arsenal

thanksurbanfren

Tottenham is where I've been introduced to the wonderful world of multiculturalism.

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My year was the last to be majority white in my school, Bristol gang

Oh shit. Where were you when the riots started? They made it all the way down here to my borough. Crazy times. Walked down the middle of the high street smoking a spliff, officers were so busy trying to catch thieves they didn't even bother me.

Same road where it started, about 200m away. I was asleep and slept right through it like a baby.

spaff over this and save yourself the money

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Gordon at the advertising agency

youtu.be/KZEav9A801A

I miss Tim Farron
He made us Lib Dems whole

Just got me 300 squids from government, what should I buy? Thinking about buying a fancy chess set tbqh lads

Wooy.
Is it still a very Jewish borough? I remember being around nine and in Mums car driving through Tottenham, never seen so many huge beards and those hats man, wild.

But I can't play chess so might be a waste of money

SCEA ordered Tim's pizza wizza alright.

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That's Stamford Hill, at the end of the High Road where the riots started.

It's the largest Hasidic community in Europe and they have their own police and ambulances that I've never seen help a single person who isn't a Jew. They also have much, much, MUCH larger houses than anybody around.

Why did you do that scea

Jews really do have that generational wealth stuff under control. Also heard they save 40% of their wages.

>have their own police
I knew they had courts of rabbis to settle internal disputes but how the fuck does that work? Can they actually make arrests? Aren't they just citizens and trying to stop you physically be classed as assault?

I'm not assuming you are head jew expert of landan just wondering if you know

It's these absolute gangsters. You can find out more by googling "Shomrim". They can be simplified as community watch, but they sure as hell walk, talk and act like police.

My mum goes up there a lot to shop at Sainsbury's and she's found them to be extremely rude. The kids are taught from a young age to simply not interact with outsiders and the adults make no eye contact and will avoid sharing the same space as you if at all possible.

Cyclists avoid the area because of their erratic driving. I suspect their brethren run the local driving school so they're more lax with assessments.

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>melancholy hill
>where you can't get what you want but you can get me

literally how I am to most girls

Based kikes lmao

After googling that I just found out the prick on the left got done LOL

thejc.com/news/uk-news/ex-stamford-hill-shomrim-member-sentenced-over-false-robbery-accusation-against-teenagers-1.484469

This is what they're known to do to anyone who isn't a Jew.

state of these lads. havent they learned their lesson? they always push things too far.

Why do you let them get away with it?

Two words from this article summarize these folk.
>despicable deception

Girls like me until they realize i am a big spergy manchild

Wonder what Timmy's views are on the jews

Probably quite positive or totally unaware given that he wants to move to the US

They have cars like this, and one of their paramedic cars is an Audi TT for some reason. Speed maybe? Idk.

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Same here. They think I'm boring because I just read all day. I never do stuff like sport or rock climbing or any other nonsense.

bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-48555889

>couple
>won't even kiss

Bloody attention seekers.

Opposite for me lad, I'm considered average and not worth attention until they get a sense of something not quite right in my bonce.

what happens if you put bread in the microwave?

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was reading that before, whole thing smells fishy
I could picture a group of uh, 'east-asian youths' doing something like that, but something isn't sitting right

Staged I reckon, considering it's right on the heels of gay pride month. I'll wait for CCTV tyvm

That's how marshmallows are made lad

i honestly admire this sort of thing. this is how a society should be. but it shouldnt be just the jews who do it. why dont the irish or the blacks actually look out for eachother and help eachother out as much as jews do?

... Because that would be extremely racist. The Jews are of course allowed to do it. Including having their own schools spread throughout the borough that receive funding from the government. They're completely insulated within their bubble and if anybody else dared to do this you'd reach headlines in newspapers.

Got my humble bundle account sorted out. Bought the game. Looking forward to playing it.

>irish
IRA?
>blacks
They used to, in some communities still do. They now band together in smaller groups and have infighting because reliable drug sales requires territorial control. The blood gang in America started with the intention of community protection. There simply aren't enough generations of blacks having been in the UK to be able to nepotise themselves into positions of power, so they fight for scraps at the bottom and idolise those who use unorthodox means to succeed

Uhh what did the Shomrim mean by this...?! youtube.com/watch?v=53RHlGQxwrg

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are you having me on? helping out members of your own tribe isnt racist... i'm not talking about a white alliance, i mean small family based groups.

Meanwhile in current timeline.

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Shomrims shouldn't be allowed

>members of your tribe
Ooga booga indeed.

It gets toasty. My brother used to make dutty cheese and toast using just the microwave

disgusting, how long until unironic shariah patrols?

we should just become xenophobic again, to hell with other cultures, religions and people

scratching my head at this one lads. if whites or blacks looked out for eachother its racist, but if jewish people do it it's ok? says who? why would it be that way?

With me its more that i am on the autism spectrum and have terrible social skills. online i seem alright, they quickly change their mind after a few dates.

>until they get a sense of something not quite right in my bonce.
like what?

tell me more, got a box cutter with your name on it
tell me more, i can't stay this long on the same topic
i don't know you, why would i fall in love with you
i ain't got no social cues
i'm all for you

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Theresa May is a GILF